People are quick to join groups...not that quick to add content and keep it active.

Very well written, solid advice! Pity the guys who SHOULD read this most likely won't.

Lol... I have NEVER thought about that...kinky! 

Mrs Localcouple... 20+tats, nipples pierced, vch piercing. The vch is AWESOME...makes clitoral orgasms a breeze and more intense.

Mr Localcouple... I stopped counting after my 25th tattoo, ears stretched... I'm at 2cm now. Lol...and no, wasn't that painfull to do if you take the time and care it needs. 

Thinking at the end of the day modification is kinda like swinging...not for everyone, but some of us gets hooked. ;) 

Been following this convo with some interest...so here is my 5c.

The term swinging has obviously changed and evolved, same as couples, needs and personal preference. If you do Google swinging it defines the term as "the practice of engaging in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners within a group, especially on a habitual basis". It think the important part in that sentence is OR...meaning 3 is a group. Group sex falls under the banner of swinging, analogies of food aside. Trying to define what swinging includes or excludes seems kinda pedantic, and it does nothing for the issue itself. 

Secondly... Couples evolve. We still swing, but currently enjoy the stag/vixen set up. Does this mean because we are seeing 1 guy regularly we're not swingers anymore? Although we've been in the lifestyle for 8 years, did clubs, hosted and moderated parties? 

The fact remains for every 1 respectfull, nice guy that is on the site, there is 10 that has no idea what swinging is about, or how to approach a couple. And this isn't fixed to just the single guys, but couples too...there's a few profiles over all that has no idea. But that is...sadly...part and oarcel of the site. You can let it bug or upset you...or you can manage it. Easy. 

Married guys... If a guy states he is married, he is obviously here for sex. Aren't we all? We've had more issues with single guys that doesn't get discretion, cause they're not attached. And yet there's a obvious double standard for married guys play alone, and woman doing the same. 

We're not here to judge, or chuck everyone into the same category. Different people have different needs... If you don't want to play with a married guy, don't. This issue has been brought up time and time and time again... It won't change. Peace! 

I hear ya sexysam69... To each his own. We still meet newbies to validate for parties... But... We prefer to only play after they met at least 3 other couples. That way they sorted out their rules, what they like and don't like. Lol... Had some terrible first plays. 

That's why we prefer to not meet...defenitely not play with...a newbie couple. Just got tired of holding people's hands through it. Either you want to play... Or not...not rocket science.

Preach on brother!

Yes

In agreement that the subject has been debated and beaten like a rented mule. We made peace with the fact that there are certain profiles you best avoid...singles and couples alike, although purely statistically singles win this category.

Nothing silly about Supervrou's post though...would just change the wording from "can't" to "dont"... This will be the only logical reasoning behind getting 3+ mails a week from married guys, although our profile clearly states our preferences. 

But...I digress. This issue will always be just that...a issue you have to work around.

I blame social media. It gave everyone a little soapbox to cry out into the world...be it racist, homophobic crap...forcing religion onto others...or simple a desperate plea for ill deserved attention. Or maybe I'm just bitter and cynical. Wait, let me post and tweet it. :P

I think it means just that...they are married, happily, to each other. Sounds more like a confession that they are ok with the idea of swinging, and that they think the relationship is strong enough for that. Lol...sounds better than "Insecure and jealous couple"...

But I feel the same way about the term "professional couple"....professional in what? Your work? Wrestling? Deep sea diving? Sounds almost as vapid as the classic "upmarket couple". Come to think of it...happily married sounds pretty ok, lol.

Lol...maybe because the stories have more details. Did read the post...agreed, would be brilliant if she could post it here.

We personally will take a few well written, completed and active profiles over the endless half-assed attempts. Almost certain people won't mind paying a bit it it means more hits from genuine users. But yeah...lol...glad we stuck it out the past 5 years.

The way I understand it...speaking under correction...the site started charging for some features? Some profiles won't notice this, because we've been here for that long. Considering all the inactive profiles...maybe not a bad call.

Lol...let's see..."catch a wake up, ignorant fools, limited small minded thinking, narrow minded"...because someone is ok with his sexuality, and not interested in exploring more?

convincing
kənˈvɪnsɪŋ/
adjective
adjective: convincing
capable of causing someone to believe that something is true or real.
"there is no convincing evidence that advertising influences total alcohol consumption"
synonyms: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I'm sticking with my original response...this entire post smacks of utter arrogance, and displays a lack of respect towards what other people feel about their own sexuality. If your sexually fluid...great, no need to defend or seemingly try and justify the fact (why the hell would you want to?) behind some post about a study that DOESN'T PROOF ANYTHING. I wonder how a gay guy will feel if a straight friend tries to "convince and educate" him that said gay guy not fucking a girl, is just him being narrow minded and ignorant...yeah, that makes sense. Wow. Sad to see we are still stuck with train of thoughts like this.

*Gives a standing ovation to Smalltowncouple*

Agreed, 100%....there is bad profiles...but sift through the BS and you get to meet awesome people and have crazy fun.

There is a HUGE difference between MMF fun, and what the study actually pertains too...which was "straight" guys, playing with other "straight" guys without consent from partners. Not sure where you picked up the Alpha Male attitude with people giving opinions on a post...?

I'm actually shocked NO ONE responded to the whole "convincing" issue...

Sponge...when a couple asks for a couple with a bi/bi curious female, this does not automatically mean the hubby is excess baggage. We as a couple's more than ok with her playing alone...different strokes hey.

Lol...makes sense...sadly so. Have fun!

new_but_not...who said you have to be coy? If someone has an issue with you being bi...on a swingers site, of all places...they need to move on. But...not sure all the bi girl are bi just to be "cool and sexy"...

See..there's the word..."convincing"...and, mind you...through "education and enlightenment"

First off...convincing someone of their sexual inhibitions comes across and pretty arrogant...and borderline desperate. I don't think I or my partner will ever want to be in a position where we have to "convince" someone of something that pertains to their sexuality.

If the convincing (I'm thinking booze helps here, right?) doesn't help to convince the guy that a bj between some good 'ole straight boys is fine ...does this mean that person remains "unenlightened" and "uneducated"?

We can jump from article to article...but the fact remains...if a straight guy finds himself with a cock in his mouth with a huge grin on his face...awesome. You my friend, is bi curious or even bi now. BUT...trying to convince a straight guy who is comfortable with his sexuality that there is a sweet bi guy hiding in him, that he can embrace through "enlightenment" and "education"...no. No no no. This is borderline to the same arrogant fools who think they can pray gay people straight...or turn them straight through "enlightenment" and "education" I don't really see a difference in the approach...?

It's 2017...do we still need misguided articles and studies for people to accept and respect their own...AND other peoples sexuality?

Mavricsa501...same here with the spellchecker...but yeah, it's an easy fix to get the right message across. But unfortunately first appearances DOES count...and there is a few couples who are also guilty of this. Putting up a proper, thought out profile I think just has a better chance of actually attracting people. 

Yeah...not trying to deviate off from the original post...but, here goes...

We get that there is room and space for single guys in the swinging world, same as single ladies. We even point out on our profile that we don't mind single guys approaching us...as long as that they do so in a respectful manner and a proper mail, not the lame/no effort wink...and we always reply back. 

That being said...it's not the quantity on new single guy profiles that's bothering (for lack of a better word, let's call it a observation) us, but the quality. Half completed, riddled with spelling mistakes (not that that's an issue...but first impressions and all that), no location, "about" section reading like something out of a D grade Bulgarian porn..."eks leke jags, ek geniet jou muff mcnckdkdshfjxyudhdfj"...and almost no pics at all, not just a simple avatar pic. 

Are these guys really, REALLY deluded enough into thinking a profile like that will get ANY attention? Profiles like that is just further f@cking it up for the single guys out there who puts in effort with profiles and mails. And yes...I personally think at least 50% of new profiles end up taking up dead space after a month...because the guys have no clue as to the idea of swinging, and quickly hammer together a profile to get laid...and (thank Thor) give up when they don't get the desired results.

But yes...this is still most definitely a swinging site. If we can manage to hold parties in Bloemfontein, and have a closely knit band of swingers whom actually participates in groups and discussions...yeah, proof the site still works.

That sounds pretty cool!

TheOption...Tsitsikamma striptease trail? Do tell!

Sad indeed...

All good answers...also planning to visit Sexpo again, our first time there was pretty cool.

I think...and no pressure on the admins here...the groups will stay active if it had a notification system that informed the group mod of new members, forum threads etc. 

Based on this thread I actually decided to open a group for swingers in Bloemfontein...lol...fingers crossed I can keep it active, seeing as though the 3 previous one's for Bloem just dried up and died...like most groups on here.