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playcouple
34 minutes ago
Straight White/Caucasian Female, 50
Straight White/Caucasian Male, 53
0 km · Kempton Park
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Quote by Mike_Pta
Folks you are talking of imitation glory holes
A real one is a hole with a finger wagging through it and you stick your penis in it for a good blowjob, person or sex unknown
I'm not sticking my dick through a random hole with a complete stranger on the other end, I don't have that much faith in humanity.
So you have some faith in humanity
So there is a chance that you will do it, a slim one but one nevertheless:) Quote by daretostare04
Hi I'm new to this site but have had my add in a adult magazine for about 8 years and had no problem with being married and playing alone it is a swingers mag. Only since I have been on this site do I find this is a definite no here. I don't see why if I am honest up front what is the problem cheating together as a couple or cheating alone without your wife's consent is a sin in the eye of your maker as far as I know. If your wife does not want to do the bedroom duties must you force her and to me divorce is not a solution I have been down that road. Surely a man that has a partner is less likely to try and take away another mans wife than a single guy, just putting it out there, some couples seem to agree but only a few here.
From the perspective of a couple playing with someone that is playing on the side. The potential complications when the other person's partner finds out are horrific. That is where your private life gets exposed because all your facebook contacts are messaged, all your colleagues, the local noticeboard gets your number on, and so forth. Basically as revenge they go out of their way to contact anyone that you have contact with to spread the news.
Then they decide to patch things up and you are suddenly the couple that lead the straying partner down the wrong path and the fact that the straying partner strayed is laid, squarely at your feet, the fact that straying partner was on a site like this and you never even knew that they existed before meeting them from this site does not even feature in the logic.
If they decide to get divorced all the above happens, and to top it off you get named as the cause for the breakdown of the marriage in court papers. Maybe even called into court to confirm it (if the aggrieved partner is really out for revenge) so you can profess to the world the details of being a swinger, or you can lie and take the risk of being caught perjuring yourself and end up with some jail time.
So do you now understand some (not even all) of the risks involved by playing with someone in a relationship?
Quote by Sofistikitty
I am not using a pc. I am using my smart phone. I have fb and twitter as apps so if I share or click like it automatically goes through. But oh well, my family found out.
So regardless if I delete the apps or what ever doesn't matter now. My phone is linked to most of everything like bbm, email, google plus, bbm and what's app. I can't delete and reload those all the time. So in conclusion the only way to avoid the like button on this site is to browse very very slowly and carefully, zoom in so my nails don't hit the button by accident. Or alternately, leave the site all together.
Hi Kitty
wasn't referring to you, just a general statement. Same thing goes for anything that you send and receive messages on.Times we live in
Quote by EroticLiving
Never allow browsers to store passwords. Use Lastpass.
Why use anything, when the pop up comes up asking if your user name and password should be stored for a site, just click the "never for this site" option.
You should have your settings to allow your password to be stored, always enter user name and password manually and logout when closing window. There are legal ramifications to anything that is used by you. If someone has access to your user name and password for any e-mail/social media they can cancel or enter into an agreement on your behalf, and the onus is on you to prove that it was not you.
The only contract or agreement where an electronic signature (your name at the bottom of your e-mail, or user name at the bottom of the PM that you sent) is not accepted is for the transfer of a property or for drawing up of a will. There have been a few test cases through all the levels of courts in RSA.
Quote by EroticLiving
I'm Caucasian my wife is Asian. What I have to smile about is the mails I get that the sender's profile states this colour line preference issue. I guess what they mean is black. Or a pretty, sexy Asian just overwhelms their prefs. Or maybe a combo of pretty and female is the catalyst.
Doesn't matter to me, really. It is not a hard line racist thing necessarily, though it is a red flag for racism. Does not mean I will exclude them from consideration automatically, just think about it harder.
Sexual prefs are valid. Whatever they are, including race/culture. My bedroom is not a public facility, no need 'to offer an opportunity' to anybody.
I see no problem with such a statement in a profile. But then I've yet to go PC crazy.
I prefer laptops to PC's myself...... lol
Quote by LeeEC
II'm not sure if it's merely white guilt that makes you defensive, or of it's hatred towards the current government that means you paint all "non-whites" with the same brush. Or is it merely a superiority complex. Lord knows why?! All that I do know is that we have a looong way To go clearly
Wow. Sorry I have to ask why you haven't listed the honourable, acceptable or reasonable reasons why a white guy who was a kid during apartheid and voted it away come '94, would be defensive and upset when the 2000th person calls him a racist because he won't sleep with people who he's not attracted to. ...
Took the words out of my mouth Lee, people around our age were the swing vote in the referendum (way before 1994) to abolish apartheid.
Quote by jimjam
If we as members not report them, we only had to blame our self.
That is exactly my reasoning for this post. We as members can not allow these types of actions to happen.
Its only a matter of time before prostitutes, pimps and escourts start advertiseing on the site.
Soon after that police could be busting down your doors acusing you of sex trafficing.
Nothing new about it, and nothing unique about it on this site. It is unfortunate that it happens but still not right.
The mods keep a well run site and can say from experience that this is a very well run site in general, some would let it happen and only do something if it realy became a problem
Quote by SDMR
90% of profile views are via the gallery. (this is my own opinion and not something that has been researched)
Also, and this is just a thought, and just my opinion based on my own view. The two pics in your gallery give the immediate impression of being of two different bodies.
Wouldn't necessarily agree wit that. Can point you to people who have more than enough approaches without having any pics in public folders.
Quote by Rick25
Like others have said, it comes down to what you looking for and how others perceive you. ive been on this site for less than a week, met a woman from my area for a breakfast date which turned into the most adventurous public holiday ive ever had. Maybe thats just pure random luck though i still believe that perception is everything. Be honest with your intentions and realistic with your expectations.
Im no expert, im considered young by most but a long time ago i learnt that a woman's biggest sexual organ isnt between her legs , its her mind.
my 2cents.
Well rick you have a decent profile, proving that it does work.
As matter of interest, did you approach her or did she approach you?
Quote by amethyst
Mr play......
I said race would not be an issue for you in the bedroom. I didnt call you a racist, your profile says you dont do interracial.
Operative word in the bedroom.
So seeing as you so vocal about it. If you dont mind me asking. And you can choose whether or not to answer.
Why do you not cross the proverbial racial barrier?
We all people at the end of the day?
In our case don't be so sure about your statement that where we were brought up has an impact. In the case of many other people that also state that they don't do inter racial, have you considered that same have tried it and decided that it is not for them? I think, maybe i'm wrong, that is more than can be said for you not having any interest in having a same sex experience.
The why is because it is our preference, just as it is your preference not to have contact with bi/gay men in the bedroom.
And back to my question, why should people waste time on things that does not fall within what they are looking for? Must I eat raw whale blubber to see if I like it, if I am vegetarian?
Some people make choices and have preferences based on experience, others make choices and have preferences purely based on what they perceive and believe, others make choices and have preferences for no logical reason whatsoever. In all case they should never be judged or forced to go against that as that is their free choice to make.
And I still dont see why people should waste their time on meeting people who fall outside of what they are looking for.
Quote by amethyst
I cannot understand how you can compare sexuality to race.
Its two very differing categories. So next time we apply for an ID or university application they should ask us our sexual preference as well?
By that token we should have equality in the workplace and hire more homosexuals than heterosexuals.
Or maybe the springbok team should have atleast two homo sexual and two bi sexuals in the matchday squad?
Mr play had you grown up and lived in the UK or the states im sure race would not be such an issue as it is for you today in the bedroom.
Again shy couple made a very valid point.
So what you are saying is that in some categories it is fine for people to state their preference and in others not? Your preference for specific physical attributes in your sexual partners is no different from anyone else's.
I did not once say that race is an issue for me............ I do say that people should be free to choose.
As for the springboks or any other team or organisation. People should be picked on merit only. I know of a all non white school rugby team on the east rand that runs rings around the other teams so the story that there is no talent unless its white and afrikaans is also crap.
As for where I grew up, my earlier example of being removed from a third class train carriage because I was with my black school friend happened to me on a few occasions and is only one of many examples. Keep in mind my age and the fact that I was in primary school at the time. That is only one of many examples.
Earlier you stated that you were not referring to me as a racist when I made a comment about being called a racist. As said at the time you dont know me and if you did you would know that calling me a racist is laughable.
Quote by jtrdbn
Saw this on a profile:
"Absolutely NO blacks, we don't do interracial shit..."
Still feel its preference related?
Choice of words is crap and offensive. Obviously it is their preference and they don't mince their words but it still is their choice.
Now my question is what would you prefer for people to say if they are not into inter racial? O r not into Bi experiences, or not into playing with singles? Would you prefer them to say nothing and lead you on until you give up trying to meet them?
I've seen along the lines of "no single men, if you are single don't fucking contact us'.................... also a crap choice of words but still their choice.
Quote by amethyst
I was referring to the stats i presented to you in the context of the swinging lifestyle.
I feel as if you are purposely trying to stir something. You not arguing on the points i have made but you taking my words and using it in a completely different context.
Back again, was out traveling. Anyways.
As I said previously sometimes I am slow to understand things to the point of idiocy ......... but again I must be missing something, I cant find stats that you presented. Keep in mind that if you present stats they should be empirical and able to stand up to scrutiny, if they are not then they are an opinion. Read 'a brief history of time', Hawking covers the topic of evidence and opinion somewhere in it. You know that Einstein tried to disprove the theory of relativity until his death?
If I were trying to stir then i would be making pointed and derogatory comments about how wrong your view is rather than saying you are entitled to it.
You brought in firemen and paramedics, which begs the question were you referring to the dress up variety because I don't get how else a fireman or paramedic would be carrying out their duties in the swinging context...............
I am arguing your points and words and I don't see how and where I am using them out of context, why should I not use your words? You brought them into the discussion. In a debate you argue each others points and statements, the reason for this is to retain a common point of departure. If you can bring firemen and paramedics into the discussion as an analogy, then surely I am allowed to bring in and an advocate or a clown if I please..... or is it a case of double standards?
You have not explained to me why, if there is not enough opportunity to meet all the people who already fall withing the specified band of interest, we should make time to meet people that are less likely to be within the parameters of what we like.
You have stated that you are not interested (supported by the tick boxes in your profile) in meeting gay men or couples with bi males, your reason is that you have no interest in playing with a penis. That is your choice and you are and should always be free to make it. However, by your own logic, you should must meet them, because in spite of not finding other men attractive you might just meet one that does do it for you.....................................because if us saying that we are not interested in interracial is racist then you saying that you are not interested in meeting gay or bi men is sexist, also discriminatory by your argument logic. You have not once conceded that some people who openly state that they are not interested in inter racial have tried it and found that it s not for them, for whatever reason.
This discussion for me revolves not one iota about race, its about freedom of choice. Your assertions are that people should not be allowed to make a choice and meet people that they are more likely to be comfortable with and Everyone has the freedom to choose who and what they associate with, in this I include the choice not to meet as its a. "In the context of swinging" you have the right to choose not to associate with couples that have a bi male in and you have the right to choose not to associate with gay men. We (us a as couple) have the right not to meet with people who use drugs, are in relationships and playing alone, child molesters, live far away from us or for that matter who's profile we just don't like.
You will see the serious threads where I post are about single men complaining about couples saying "no single men" people complaining about other people saying "not interested in interracial" (or its variances), married or attached people complaining that others wont play with them. All three are a variance of the the same thing, wanting to convince people that they should not be allowed to make their own free choices. All three follow the same logic of pubescent teenage boys attempt to get into a girls panties by confuckulating her with psudo logic. We have a teenage son and daughter so know both sides of those debates.
If we take away peoples freedom to make their own choices we are in for a beeg problem. What I find interesting though is that the very people who try to say that people should not be allowed to make their own choices or their choices are wrong or discriminatory very often have their own version of it.
Before you bring it up, when I refer to 'we' i am referring to anyone who specifically excludes anyone on their profile.
Craifmic, your profile gives the impression that you are looking for companionship, that is one put down, no couple will play with you if you are looking for single women on the site are looking for what everyone else is looking for, predominantly sex, followed by everything else. The sex is of the NSA variety so romance is not really that high up on priorities.
Make your profile interesting without making it romantic.
Quote by amethyst
I acknowledge that that does happen but my statements are to be taken within the swinging lifestyle not from a generalist point of view.
From a general point of view there is much worse from all races.
Maybe I'm stupid, I know that I'm very slow in understanding things, but are you saying that whites should only be forced to have interracial experiences in the swinging lifestyle? Then by the same token you should be forced to have interaction with bi sexual males only in the swinging context (or couples with bi sexual males, keep in mind that just because a guy is bisexual does not mean that he is going to want to have a go with you just because you are having a go with his wife) only in the swinging context ...................... you cannot claim that yours is a legitimate preference and in the same breath that ours is not, just as you cannot claim that your choice is reasonable but ours not. Matter of choice due to personal taste and preference is not a matter of reason by any stretch of the imagination. Keep in mind that for all you know people that save you wasting your time by you contacting them by saying they don't do interracial have tried it. About the redhead, the likelyhood of running onto a redhead is rather slim and I definitely wont not meet someone just because of the color of their hair.
You say that you are not attracted to black people, which is also a matter of preference or taste, the fact that you are prepared to meet them and see where it leads is totally your choice, which you are free to exercise just as those that are more specific in their their target are free (and should be without interference) to enjoy it.
If you get paid R10 000 per hour as an advocate with no shortage of people who can afford it require your specialty, would you fill your time shooting the breeze with someone who you know does not need your help as it is only a matter of a parking ticket that he wants to reduce by R 50 and will probably not pay your fee in spite of talking shit with you for three hours?
Earlier you mentioned that we (and others like us) are not prepared to afford people that are not white. We are also not prepared to afford the opportunity to people who use drugs in our environment, are in relationships and playing alone opportunity, irrespective of their race, now on your logic we must give them the opportunity as well?. On the note of the latter two and the single guys (who I might add we do give the opportunity) complain just as loudly that they are not given the opportunity.
Quote by adminsteve
Its a sheep thing, many many years back some smart arse added it to their profile on a distant site and as people saw it they copied it.
Its a total waste of time and I don't know why people feel the need to use it.
Sheesh Steve cum now, its to waste the ink in their screens
Quote by amethyst
Mr Play. I hear you and acknowledge your points. I agree with some and dont agree with others.
My point is not that people are allowed to or not and i respect their choices and preferences.
I have been fortunate to swing in the UK and SA, the problem in SA is that amongst the white profiles it is more prevalent as a %.
What i mean by this is that 90% of white couples in SA would have this statement in their profiles. The percentage amongst other races being exclusive to their own is a hell of alot lower.
Now in comparison to the uk you will find people being racially exclusive but again the percentage is alot lower compared to here.
Now this highlights a certain problem with integration beyond a platonic level From a societal level within South Africa and that is because of our past.
If you compare people 40 and above to 18 yr olds we see that trend declining because of the time that the younger generation was born into. This is a good sign.
If you look at it analytically and even psychologically as lee put it there is a mental block of sorts.
Through my time on the site and real life experience i find that this "thing" is more common amongst the females rather than males. My opinion.
This opinion is deduced from the fact that many couples ive engaged with, where the male runs the profile will say: my wife prefers whites, i dont understand it but thats just the way it is. I have received this comment on a number of times.
Apology not necessary but accepted. For me this topic is not about being racist or not. Im trying to highlight the broader concept that exists because of our past.
That issue is a classist one.
Im not sure if im articulating myself well enough for those to try and undersyand what im trying to get at.
Mr play maybe when im in jhb next ill take u out for a drink on a platonic level and we can discuss this issue.
Maybe im wrong, maybe my jydgement is clouded but thats why the forum is here to debate this intellectually.
Im sure even you mr play will not agree with the comments put forward by fflash?
Being over 40 myself.................... but lets not go there, I don't think you know what it is like to be removed from a 3rd class train carriage by the police while you are with your black friend....................................................
As for being predominantly a 'white thing', when last have you sat under a tree, or for that matter at a tavern (I mean a real tavern where you don't get a glass, you braai your own meat and eat it of a torn off piece black label box with your fingers, not a glorified pub that caters to tourists) in a deep rural area, or for that matter a spot like Kanyamazane, Ga-Rankuwa or Seshego, (I can go less well known as well if you want) and heard the comments pointed in your direction because you are white and sitting there with a few people of other races? Or comments in similar environment pointed at inter racial couples?
Don't for a moment think that this is a white thing because you are fooling yourself.
People have tastes that vary, some people have a broader taste than others, that's how it is. People have so much time and who and how they wish to spend it is their prerogative.
Quote by amethyst
Mr play, im engaging in an open debate and im not directing anything towards you. this is not personal.
I never said that you are racist thats not for me to decide.
Im a hetero sexual male there is a difference between excluding genders and race a very big difference.
Above you mentioned your preference for woman which is similar to mine i might add. you also go on to mention that you have had woman of variations and pleasantly surprised.
You afforded them the opportunity. Your profile didnt say no redheads?did it?
On the same token you, or others are not prepared to afford the opportunity to people that are not white.
Now the point im trying to make is not about being racist but affording everybody an opportunity.
Im not particularly attracted to "black" people. Ive never been with one. That does not mean that im not open to meeting them for a no expectation drink. If im not happy then its cool we shared a drink and if we hit it off then cool.
Im not going to put people in a box because of their skin colour. Gender yes cos i dont want a penis in me nor do i want to play with one.
Im not sure if you understand the point im trying to make.
Its great that you enaging in debate. I pre-empted what I usually get directed at me as a a reply and this was unfair of me towards you and I do apologise for that. (total truth and no sarcasm intended).
We afford anyone we meet the opportunity. However we keep our swinging and rest of our lives very very separate, if we meet you through work or so then that is where it stays. Affording everyone the opportunity would mean that we have no time for anything else. Swinging is something that we enjoy but it is very very far away from a priority in our lives. As with anyone with children our time for ourselves is also at a huge premium. In our case our time is even more constrained due to work. We are not unique in this, so to give everyone equal opportunity is not even an option. If I what I'm looking for is a transgender dwarf that wears red stilettos then surely I should be allowed to say so?
I think people make the mistake that swinging is purely about personality, it is'nt. Just because I had sex with you once or twice or 20 times does not mean that I want to settle down with you.
Please explain to me how there is a difference between excluding people on the basis of sexual orientation vs race? For that matter we also exclude people that are in relationships and playing without their partner, we exclude people who use recreational drugs. should we give them an equal opportunity when we know that the possibility of us 'making the exception' is so remote that it does not even warrant a thought?
You will see that many people (yourself included) exclude single guys. Why is this? surely there is the possibility that you will meet a single guy from this site that you like. As for saying you don't want a penis in you nor do you want to play with one : have you tried it? If not why are you so against giving it a chance, maybe you do like it ..... Rightfully (and that right is something that I believe is one of the most fundamental) it is your right to say you don't want to even try it, just as it is someones right to say i don't want to do inte racial.
Every person on this earth has freedom choice, that freedom of choice is the most basic of rights , they have the right to choose who they meet and why they meet people as well. If they choose to exclude people that they associate with, for whatever reason, that is still their choice and their right to make that choice.
You may not agree with what someone says but you have an obligation to ensure that they have the right to say it, conversely that person does not have the right to hide behind that right to insult or do others harm. People should also not be harassed for taking the courtesy of specifying what they are and are not looking for and thereby not wasting peoples time.
Quote by KC_
I have suddenly started noticing the following at the bottom of many profile write ups:
WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites for study or projects -
You do not have my permission to use any of my profile, my cam or pictures in any form or forum both current or future.
If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
What research happened to start this? I am interested to see how this info was used.
Somewhere along the line someone used details of people from a swinging site without their permission in an article or something like that.
This disclaimer has now started growing in use
Quote by LeeEC
And you know what - we don't need to "fix" people who don't think like we do... no.
We don't have to adjust them, scold them, or persuade them or change them.
We are only required to respect them.
Cant agree with you more we do need these conversations vs the hiding behind "politically correct".
