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Sofistikitty
2 hours ago
Straight Mixed Race Female, 44
0 km · Johannesburg

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It's definitely hot when a guy says it but the act itself is tricky. Being a big chick, you have big thighs and it's difficult to navigate. Hovering over your face isn't attractive or for the faint of heart. Plus you'll need Siya Kolisi's thigh strength to keep yourself up , it doesn't feel good or reach the places you need (for me personally)But , on my back with knees on your shoulders... I'm in.

For me its become too much admin to get done , get courage to drive somewhere and still worry if you safe. All the anxiety and that makes me just decline

Quote by danfunwine

Yes am feeling the same..it's just becoming way to much admin..yes I do understand that's its a swinging site..but there is a shortage of single woman and the few that are on the site are overwhelmed with messages and from what I can gather the quality of the messages are very primal...

I can vouch for that yes, also swinging use to be erotic ,sensual and intense. Now if you mention that, guys go all "this is a sex site" as if you proposed. It seems like now it's just Jack rabbit, you the masturbation prop sort of sex...it's not the same anymore

I've been part of a throuple. It's hard hey, being a unicorn is not all its expected to be. There's always jealous green eyed monsters and people developing feelings. Fighting and misunderstandings. I won't do it again and I also don't play with couples anymore

So I've been an active and not so active member of this site since 2014 or so. I've met many people that I'm still aquainted with. Have had bad and good experiences and boy, have I learnt and seen some things. I've had two serious relationships with guys I've met here as well and even met life long friends that are singles and couples. I've even help run a swingers events company.

But, I don't really play anymore and things are just not the same. Not sure if the novelty has worn off or if it's because I've had years of different experiences, if it's because I'm older and listless. Is it the whole COVID pandemic??? I'm not sure, but I feel like it's time to throw in the towel.

I mean I do still crave sensual sexual encounters, but it just seems to be getting to be to much admin. Sigh, I'm just so out of it. Anyone else feeling like this??

For me it's too many dick pics. Like the ones from different angles. And stupid cum in hand shots like why?? Short descriptions and also blank spaces. If there's no effort, then person is most likely a lazy lay aswell.

I am but I won't play alone with a couple again. Too much drama and issues. I prefer one on one with guy or joining couple if I have a partner.

Quote by JimmyChoo
i now understand & agree but what about those “long term” partnerships? Does that line get crossed? 

 I think what Jimmy means is intense or passionate sex. I also prefer that. I hate being "fucked" it's not enjoyable and you don't have to be in love to have intense sex. For me it's about sexual chemistry. Some have it done don't. So I don't call it love making. 

Mine comes from my love for cats and play in word sophisticated. Most of the time I get mistaken for someone wanting to be fisted though

So, I've been around and been a swinger for several years now. I've been single and part of a couple. I've even been a hostess of swingers parties when we opened a swingers events company. I've fulfilled fantasies and done some awesome stuff too. But, I've also tried to NOT be a party pooper and slept with people I didn't really want to sleep with. People I wasn't attracted too, people I felt sorry for and people I thought I'd be ok with, even though I was not attracted. 

Anyway, here's my point. Lately, I've kept with people I know and been with because of laziness, life and safety reasons. Now, yes I am a swinger and I am highly sexed but I can go months without sex. Thus, when I do hook up its as if I'm breaking a fast. And often, almost always, I am left wanting.

I'm one of those women that cannot orgasm on command lol. It takes alot,but when it happens...OMG. Of recent though sex is just sex. It's as if guy gets off and we go home. Yes,they ask if I came and I say "don't worry about it." But seriously, what happened to kissing, licking, sucking, playing, touching and just enjoyment. Now it's, steel, hard, fast sticking fingers where I don't need them. And then bam! Done. And it's a long session but ... empty. If our get me. 

If I say what I'm into, most get freaked out as if I've asked them to donate blood or a kidney to me. I don't know, is it just me?? What happened to a great lay and effort. Is it forgotten because I'm a swinger??



I prefer a sturdy man so maybe half half if possible. He shouldn't look like santa no offence to anyone

Hey sexy people. So I'm wondering have you ever needed to escape a swingers party or left a club. Tell us your reasons and tips on escaping if we ever need to. 



I met my last long term boyfriend here and that was actually where and how I learnt about what I liked and was into. We got it on like rabbits, all day everyday. One day we were making out but only that because I was on my period. Things got hot and heavy and soon we couldn't resist and stripped down and had sex. It was freaking amazing!! Best sex ever. After that that's what we did. I haven't met anyone that wanted to try it again. Has anyone had this experience? How was it? Would you do it again?

i have a question, what do you consider a bad profile and also a good profile. What makes you as a browser intrigued and want to know more??

i used this many years ago. I made it up. Its a play on words sophisticated and cat or kitten.

But people always ask me how soft my pussy is...like really? Or saybhi soft kitty

Quote by BrentM
If I may... I think showering before and after sex is just as important as brushing ones teeth after a meal.  It shows consideration towards your partner to always keep clean and fresh.  Makes them want more of you. My humble opinion

 im not saying he is smelling funky and is unhygenic. have you ever had a lover and just loved their scent??

its actually a bit of a turn on, thinking he wants to keep my scent on him... As if he's "marked"

ive known this specific dude a few years now. So, I don't think he went to play with someone else afterward. Anyway, was curious. I mean I don't bath after because I like the smell of guys Cologne and scent on my lips and skin after a smash. But I do wash down there and if I am going out to do whatever I at least wash my hands. By I've seen guys that won't even lol its like they want to keep the smell on them. Thank gawd I'm super clean and smell like fresh clean kitty lol

Quote by pussinboots1
@sofistikitty   All I  HOPE is, YOU make them shower before playing with you!!!!!!


As for smells....LMAO   In a scene (BDSM style) many a man/woman had to go home with a punani or cum smell......then It is not really an issue.....BUT for a normal vanilla person NOT showering BEFORE play or going home is a BIG NO-NO for me....I would NEVER play with that person !!! CLEANLINESS  is one of my hard limits!!!

 No guys, you not getting what I mean. This person is super clean. Or the dudes I've been with are clean. Its like a carnal thing I think? Like they want to leave your smell on themselves?


Just wondering, why do some guys not wash or shower etc after they've been with you? Like they go on with their day smelling like sex or punani? Lol just curious

Quote by fadnad
For hubby I know he likes full lips and a thick woman and also a woman who wants to be In charge turns him on
Wifey I like athletic men but for me it's somone that can chat turn me on with his talk 

 I have the lips and thickness but not sure if I'm an I  charge sort if chick. I'm full of shit though, dunno if that counts lol

i like sturdy, muscular men, tall large framed with strong built thighs. Im a sucker for full lips and nice butts I can grab....I'm so drooling. And a square jaw oh lawd!!!

Quote by haveusbc
when i saw that this thread was called scams i just presumed it was about people trying to extort money and blackmail...i think people misrepresenting them selves is pretty normal and common

 But don't they realise you are bound to want to meet in person?

Besides,scammers there's the  men or couples that actually get upset with me because I don't want to meet and fuck. Like immediately. Its states clearly in my profile what I want and what I am not interested in. Yet, I get angry responses when I say no I'm not into playing alone with couples. And try twisting my arm in hopes I will give up. The men swear at me and tell me to block them because I won't f them the day we are scheduled to meet. They won't to meet in hotel rooms not meet n greet

Another is a dude I met. He's very good looking and we've video chatted as well and he looks the same as his pics. One problem... He lies about who he's met and where he is. Example he once sent me pic of girls in a club and asked me who should he go home with. And told me the next day of all the fun they had and that she just left. Next thing I see he's wedding photos on profile pic. And by the way I saw that the photo of girls in the club was an internet stock photo. I also met the couple he said he hooked up with and they said they've never met.


Quote by fadnad
Oh my new favorite one is single lady profiles that are single but when you get to watsaap they have a play partner and when it comes time to meet they cannot make it but you welcome to play with him alone don't know if that has happen to anyone else

 Oh yeah lol couples that are really a guy playing alone. 

I feel so disappointed and defeated. I just started chatting to a very hot dude, he sent me his pic on site. When we moved to , I requested other pics and BAM! So I asked who's pic was on the site, he says its him when he was younger. I'm so freaking sick and tired if people posing. And then when I ask what happened they make it look like I am shallow or aloof. 

I am a down to earth but honest person. I want a hot man (well what I find hot) because or else I don't need to fantasize I can pull any guy off the street or wherever and get with him. Then, I'd be lying to myself and faking. That's not me. I'm not asking for a super model but if I see your face and I'm not attracted I say so. Why waste anyone's time? Seriously,  to people still faking it, don't. Cause now I seem like an arrogant bitch and he's ego is hurt. Rather be honest upfront, you are someone's cup of tea and you are perfect. But please be honest don't waste someone's 're really too old to be playing catfish.

I actually have a problem orgasming. Connection must be there and dude must be patient and determined lol. Also the setting like the atmosphere etc. must be right(and I don't mean romantic candle light etc) just comfortable. I never knew how it felt to orgasm. So I would fake it but I mean by moaning not tightening. And then when I explored more and knew how it felt to orgasm I would do it when with someone. But realised I'm only cheating myself. So now, I let dude know he has his work cut out for him. And that works and even seems to encourage them. Sometimes it doesn't work though and I am left wanting. So I go home and sort myself out. 

This shit happens, I fell madly in love with a man I met on this site. The sex was so good and we matched perfectly. And I guess because we were hooking up on a regular. Eventually its stopped being sex and turned into lovemaking. We dated for a year or so and I was broken when we decided to call it quits. 

But I agree, there's a difference between connection and love. I prefer having sex or playing with someone when there's a connection. The sex is better, doesn't need to be a love relationship but sensual and intimate sessions I can't get enough of. It beats being jack rabbited and used as a prop/blow up doll.


So I've always been a sexual or rather sensual person. Also a very curious person. I tend to try things first then decide its bad or good. 

Any way, I've been in the lifestyle a good couple of years. Ive seen and experienced some stuff, some I'd rather not repeat, some I don't understand and others I enjoyed thoroughly. I've met some a few men that have had me clawing the sheets and so Ive kept 1 or 2 around for regular hook ups. 

But its been very long time and now I want to get back into the "swing" of things. And someone asked me what my fantasy or fetish is. To tell you the truth I have no freaking idea.

I've tried some stuff but like nothing to call it a fetish. Am I like boring? Is having intense sensual sex a fetish? Someone even told me once wtf do I want on a swingers site if I don't want to f$%k. Any advice? Is there anyone with a similar issue? Am I weird?