Now it's been awhile but writing the book has given me some very real insights. So i would like to share a revelation with anyone who wants to read it.

Here goes..... 

Being swingers we believe ourselves to be open minded, yet we stack the limitations against us from the word go. And yes .... We label it as personal preference or rules , but if you think about it it's all just limitations. 

We set limitations on race , body type , gender, economic status.... And the list goes on and on . 

Do we then even have a right to brand ourselves as "open minded" ? 

Some will agree most will not ... But those that don't has the most limitations... Those that do agree have the most fun. 

Funny enough we started out with a rule book and plenty of limits , and the more we let it slide the more fun we had . And some of the best experiences come beyond our initial limitations. 

Come on guys and girls share some of those experiences that proves this point. Maybe the prudes or high ties can benefit from your experience

Full marks for being the most positive couple ever ..... 

Quote by PoohC
Well said Sam. Um if I may ask ... could we see some pictures from your interracial play dates ( For research purposes only) *Asking for a friend...

 Haha.... Sorry but we won't ever load picture on here ... It is not secure. The day you see your pictures under a random Google search... You'll agree . 

Oh Sam .... Keep quiet.... Sam no ....

Oh well I can't even keep myself quiet so here goes. .... From a point of experience this is a topic that gets discussed by white couples often . And it's a general finding I want to share with you. 

Majority of white couples will put " same race only " and when engaging with others say that's our " golden" rule ...... When you talk to both of them. 

Now here comes the kick in the teeth. I'm a very inquisitive girl and we have in the past probed couples on this. ( And yes usually after we "probed" them a couple of times) 

I would talk to the lady about experiences and even show video of our interracial encounters. And more often then not she would be soaked and admit to having the desire for interracial play. 

My hubby would do the same with the man and he would have just as much interest and desire. 

So the one question that always gets the same answer is .... Why don't you just do it? And always it's some variation on " but he or she will see me differently" or " but I'm afraid to tell him or her " 

And we have seen reactions from both sides .... Bad reactions when we tell them that they both have that desire.... 

The problem is that there are still for most a very real racial line , and no Matter how big the desire they don't want to be seen wanting to cross it . 

It is in my humble opinion the single greatest mistake people who profess to be open minded can make. The whole reason for this lifestyle is exploring desires....

And in my experience it's not a question of " once you go black ... Yada yada " the biggest turn on is the feeling ( that was drilled in since birth) that I shouldn't do this . It's a thrill , it's that last social norm that we can break . 

But most will never act on that , and that is truly sad .... 

And in closing for those that want to try I leave this thought.... I'm white , my hubby is white we have had many interracial play dates. .... And I do not crave BBC more . A cock is a cock .... It all depends on the "dick" attached to it

Eeeeeeeee..... Mmmmmmm. Nah been there done that as well. It's like any type of game just dry me up instantly. Again that shit was fine 15 odd years ago . But now 

.... Not so much . Rather just pounce on me and hump me like you want to 

Could not agree more puss

This makes me think of a game called " soggy Marie" lol. Have you lot ever played it 

Now I know newbies like playing ice breaker games. And it was fun like what seems a million years ago . But if I ever have to play truth or dare again I'd pull out my hair. It's probably the single most boring thing that experienced swingers can do. We tend to lose interest quickly if a game is started. Does that make us weird? 

I for one has never faked an orgasm . Now most would go " bull shit" but it's true. I tell the fellow or girl that what they are doing is not working and move on to the next. If I don't enjoy what is happening I stop . I'm not a teacher. You either know how or you lose out

I once had a guy that was a little below average ( I consider average and 15 cm ) and he did not disappoint at all . When we started out I frequently checked out the guys. I like a little thickness over length. 

As far as guys checking out guys .... Well I have an opinion. 

There is so many single guys that they luck out more often than not. And then they start exploring and experimenting a bit. 

I would say guys if you are curious, go for it you might like it 

Bruce, I think that your insights and experience is always welcomed 

Hugs and sloppy wet kisses 

Sam 

Giggles with you.... It's a poor attempt to get some healthy debate going. This forum page is slowly going silent. But now that you are back , I for one is looking forward to seeing it rise up from the ashes. Welcome back

Lmfao...  Well at least the " Oom" has a sense of humour. And according to your vouches you already had success. 

May the odds be ever in your favour .

There is an alarming amount of " boo hoo the other kids don't want to play with me " posts these days. 

And I have read some very good tips for singles posts on here . 

This is an invitation for couples ( but I know the singles are going to hijack this discussion) , but none the less, couples please tell us why the guys is not getting action. 

Maybe some of them will take a tip or two away from this 

Oh my my fingers is itching again... Lol so bare with me. 

We have on this site a vast amount of different people and tastes. Anyone who is willing to sift through the profiles will find a few matches. And will have fun. Bitching about it is not going to get you the attention you want .

If someone blocks you there's a reason... Move on . If everyone blocks you ..... Well sadly there is also a reason....... Work on it. 

Funny observation I have made is the " we demand A, B or C" attitude from the single men these days . 

I doubt it is going to get you anywhere boys 

Hugs and kisses

Sam 

Voicing an opinion, even publicly does not change that opinion to fact . 

We do however have tools to obtain facts ..... Our generation call it Google . 

Why not give it a try , you may just learn something

Having some nice sides with a good steak, doesn't automatically make it steak. Steak is steak but garlic bread can never be steak. 

Just the same as grouping sexual practices together , all is fun and goes well with swinging. But swinging will always be couples that swop partners. The sides works with it , but it's not swinging as a core . 

Some will go as far as try to change and adapt the meaning of the word . If you do you are only making a fool of yourself. 

I'm not attacking singles , we need them. I only stated that true swinging in the full sense of the word can only happen between couples . 

Seriously .... Oom ...? 

Swinging is not a business 456 .....

I was referring to what swinging actually means and how the act of real swinging happens . 

You can try as much as you want but you will never change the fact that swinging ( real swinging) is the swopping of wives . 

Bokkie my bokkie ... Welcome to the wonderful reality of being on a " swinging" site . 

Point is the single guys reputation will always be bad . Because there's a million trolls for every decent guy . 

If you really want the attention of the right kind of people then this is what you do :

Get out there  , go to clubs , meet and greets. Mix and mingle let people get to know you . Real swingers is where the real action is . 

Better yet ... Become a swinger. Talk to your wife an take the plunge with her ...  You might find she will enjoy it 

Good afternoon Bok ... 

If you can endure it I'll give you a female perspective. 

Firstly the idea of swinging is men swopping wives ... Period . Singles here is here for casual sex . And married people playing alone is cheating .

Ok drifting a little but couples generally don't care if the girl is involved or married because there are so few of them on a site like this ..... Simple 

The boys on the other hand . Is here in abundance ... And we have to thin the herd somehow 

First of all full marks for making it an adventure. Playing in one's personal space , should be avoided for a heap of good reasons . 

We do see the cost differently tough . If you are going all out on a hotel and drinks and dinner then it's something that you have planned for . A cost you would have carried regardless . ? 

The extra person or people in that scenario is in fact the entertainment.... So to speak. 

So the cost should not be a problem if you planned it . 

Out of experience we found the people invite you to their homes because they don't really have the cash to splash . 

We used to arrange to meet for drinks , and have the hotel / guesthouse paid and sorted . If drinks works out , then surprise them with a nice place to play. 

I think in the " normal " sense if you invite someone to lunch it's implied that you are paying ? 

But if you invite a guy or couple for dinner and sex the we ( as lifestylers) expect them to pay ? 

Does the concept not remain the same. We as couples tend to use the guys as our entertainment , and only when it suits us ..... And then expect them to pay . But if we take a unicorn out ..... She is catered for ..... Are we not using them in the same way .

Oh crap I'm ranting ... Lmao sorry must be early menopause

As a girl sitting on the sidelines, due to hubby not interested in being active at the moment, I'm getting a lot of advice form people on how to convince him. And a general trend is justification through religion... OMW guys why ? Why do people feel the need to take that approach? If you make a list of things people do every day that is not biblical it will be a long very long list. We just feel the need for justification because we know it's "wrong". Fact is who decides what's right and wrong in your life? The basis of this lifestyle is sexual , and if you have a moral conflict based on any reason, the don't do it. When you have to go that route to convince your spouse it starts bordering on manipulation. And that's a fast track to failure. 

Here is an important one : leave your issues and insecurities at home. Don't ever involve you playmates in your domestic problems. Also if your relationship is under pressure... The lifestyle is not going to fix it. 

I'm probably going to get crucified for this comment but...... I don't care :taz:

If you have been on this site for 7 years and you're still looking for the right person, then it's probably best to re-evaluate if you should even be in this lifestyle? 

I might be wrong but swinging is about sex not a second or third life partner. Take the plunge already. Pleasure comes in all shapes and sizes :bounce:

Each to his own ... Lol but some of our best play dates ever has been newbies. If you're willing to hold hands and be patient the end result can be better than you think. I like the unsure , nervous tension and awkward silence. But alas hubby feels the same as u @localcouple.... He also prefer serious couples with all their issues years behind them 

If 11 years of experience has taught me one thing ..... It is that people generally love the idea of the lifestyle. But when it gets to the next step they are scared to take the plunge. I would assume you have to do with "new" couples ...... ? Many couples remain " new " for months or even years . My advice is to be patient , and then be patient some more. You will eventually meet awesome people. And if you can't wait visit a club , it's the only place you'll find a big collection of " real " lifstylers. Smooches XXX