Married playing alone

I do not see a problem if you married and playing alone, some people think its better to divorce your partner if they not fond of sex rather than finding it elsewere and some couples do not mind if a lady does it but as soon as a man does it its no good. Double standards we are all equal besides I don't see such a big difference in cheating with consent or cheating without, at least a married guy playing alone won't bother the lady trying to get her alone afterwards behind her husbands back and there is less chance of him having a STD. There are always 2 ways to look at things. If you have not walked in my shoes don't judge me.

Kind regards

I agree with you fully too many ladies here have double standards we here for NSA fun we don't want to get married! So who cares about your secret life we all have skeletons in our cupboards.

Besides its only a issue here in the adult swinging mag with direct contact its not a problem at all.

Like you said, if you don't get what you need at home and you find it elsewhere with someone with the same idea/interest, then all of a sudden you are no good... Unless you are a woman, then it seems to be ok... What if my partner satisfies my emotional needs but not my physical needs and don't really want to explore why? A lot of guys play alone and claim to be single when in fact they are not... But if you are upfront with your marital/attached status and reason being here then all of a sudden you are branded. Some people are here for NSA fun only, whatever your reason might be. Some only wants a once off experience, with normal people, not some dodgy Chinese girl. ;) I doubt that anybody is here for the emotional side of things... But that is just my view on it... Cheers guys!

The lifestyle is built on trust and respect. Therefore if you are cheating on your wife, you can't be trusted because you're not honest with your wife. Additionally you don't respect her since you are going behind her back and ignoring her. Therefore if you can't even follow the basics of swinging why should a couple invite you into their bedroom when you can't be trusted and you don't respect your marriage.

FYI. I've already told the single woman I'm chatting to I won't go further with her until I speak to her husband first.

I disagree that there is a double standard for women who are married and playing alone.  The EXACT same response is very likely from those couples who have a problem with it.  The principal that their concern is based on is related to trust, honesty and valuing marriage.  I can't see how a person's gender could possibly factor in. In fact most couples I've spoken to, agree that the gender of someone they consider a "cheater" is irrelevant.

Agreed LeeEC, gender doesn't make a difference. It's just people looking to justify cheating by saying if they can then I can.

Well I don't want argue the fact is I have met many couples over the last 12 years that I told upfront about my status and we had great times. Its just when I joined this website that I saw its a big issue people I met saw my add in the direct Contact magazine or the old Hustler magazine where you placed your ph number directly. I respect your opinion about this issue but I still say each to their own views. If your option is so strong about this just say single married males not welcome and I will pass you by don't pretend what you all high and mighty and what you are doing is accepted by all walks of life. Only do it our way or don't do it at all only our rules will apply to all like a dictatorship. Remember what I said there will only be one person that you have to explain to when leave this earth and that goes for us all not just for people like me. Regards.

For those couples that are here that only pretend they are in the lifestyle and want to be swingers. When you do actually get into it I know a few couples in the lifestyle that did it with consent that are not together any more so this is not a solution for all your fantasies, like let a few guys do my wife, let a guy from another race known for his big equipment do my wife while I watch, why use protection with a stranger its more fun without, besides STDs there is also will you look after someone else's child? These are only a few issues to look at when you bring single strange men into your bedroom. So go ahead and enjoy and keep yourself safe good luck.

I know this is a touchy issue that can have some very biased points of view depending on what side of the fence you sit on with this...but here goes my 2 cents worth...

First of all lets put it out there...I am one of those guys that is playing without my partners consent. Secondly I want to confirm that I in no way condone the fact that I play without consent as not being wrong. It is totally the wrong thing to do to ones partner. But I must agree with dicktracy that at the end of the day it is me that will need to answer to the big guy.

I see many comments from swinging couples with regards to the trust issue. How can one trust a guy that is unfaithful? To counter this I will say that those guys that are admitting up-front in their profiles that this is what they do are the trustworthiest of all. They have had the decency to inform all of their situation...it is now up to those deciding whether they want to interact or not. I shudder to thing about all these "single" guys that they have shared with that are not really single. In my view these are the ones that should not be trusted, yet they are the ones that are accepted by the few that do not do proper checks.

On the trust subject again...why do these married guys do this and openly admit to so on their profile? Maybe they have home issues that they are still working through (in reply to a comment as to why we do not try sort out our home matters instead of trying to cheat on this site). Perhaps this site or activity is a way of releasing built up stresses that may totally collapse the marriage before the issue can be totally sorted. Would it not make sense to let the couple try and resolve their issues...while allowing the one partner the benefit of the doubt to not just break it of in sheer frustration? Again in my view it is the persons that admit openly on this site that are the persons that are the most trustworthy...they don't want to do anything to jeopardize what they may be working on back at home. I must also add that there may be persons with no intentions of resolving their issues at home...catch 22 to my post here I guess...

Again this trust I keep on hearing about...trust in what? I read many profiles where couples are looking for other persons to share the bed with...not for emotional reasons, as according to them, the act of sex is just a physical thing. If that was the case, what trust are they looking for? Is there concerns that extra persons will fall in love and run away with the other partner? Surely a guy honest enough to admit his marital situation will not do that...he has too much to lose.

Sorry for this being so long but in conclusion...don't be too hard on those (male and female) that play without consent, there may be issues that others do not know about (and there may not be...there I go contradicting myself again lol). The way I feel is that as a single playing member on this site I am the minority and therefore need to play by the rules of the majority. This means that you couples have the last say when it comes to a single member joining you or not...leave it at that and do not judge.

Well said Shiek and I feel exactly the same. We row the same boat... 

I hear you Sheik.... and although I don't know what "trust" these people are talking about - that wouldn't be my issue.  It would be respect. 

But then for me I think it's really a case by case thing, as you say - everyone's situation is unique... 

But I think the crux is in fact - that people are not upset about others' choices, they're actually offended by people's attitude. And rightly so, because as an example: I don't list my "race preferences" or more accurately "define races I'm attracted to"  in my profile because I think it's tacky, tasteless and unnecessarily offensive.  Sure I'm not attracted generally to large portions of particular ethic and origin groups (and no I don't mean black ) but I'm a big girl and my balls are big enough to just say, "thanks but I'm not attracted to you physically", and I don't think it's an inconvenience to be pleasant and nice and polite to people I don't intend to meet or play with. Though I admit to having lectured a couple of young "lets fuck"ers...

It just comes down to not being so small minded as to blanket refuse to even be a decent human being to all the people you don't want to meet, in the process of finding those who you do want meet.  It's really not so difficult really.  Just  turn the "Arsehole Dial" down :)

O and by the way, that's also a good fix for being rejected a lot too!

100% agree with you Lee. Those that find the play without consent thing offensive...say no thanks and let sleeping dogs lie. Those have no issue...feel free to say yes...

In conclusion...LET'S JUST GET ON WITH IT.

hope that didn't come across as a highly toned up a-hole... 

Quote by Mike_Pta
The lifestyle is built on trust and respect. Therefore if you are cheating on your wife, you can't be trusted because you're not honest with your wife. Additionally you don't respect her since you are going behind her back and ignoring her. Therefore if you can't even follow the basics of swinging why should a couple invite you into their bedroom when you can't be trusted and you don't respect your marriage.
FYI. I've already told the single woman I'm chatting to I won't go further with her until I speak to her husband first.

It's good to see the married players coming out and putting it out there. Its a pity no couples have commented on here, then we could really get things going.

Mike I respond to your post specifically because you seem to have a problem with us players. Which is not a problem as we are all entitled too our own opinions, I'm not judging you and if what we do is against your moral constitution then i'll respect that and not try change your opinion of us. But what is this respect thing you speak of, how does one justify or explain your reasoning that if i don't have my partners consent then i have no respect for a prospective swinger couple. How does my respect for my marriage affect my respect for another couple, especially one that has invited me into the very core of their relationship. The one has nothing to do with the other. I'm sure that players especially male players have got a bad name because of the way many of them conduct themselves within a swinger community, thinking its an easy place to pick up a quick NSA fuck. Well that's different and i would be the first to say disrespectful and probably can not be trusted, but experienced swingers should be able to weed those out very quickly. But painting us all with the same brush certainly isn't fair.

And the premise that us players don't respect our partners or our marriage is completely bullshit as well, if this was my case i would be divorced long time ago. This is not an emotional attachment we are looking for, thats called an affair, which is not what we do, I could have had many in my life and walked away from them all. This is a physical act or need that we want to satisfy, all be it a dangerous one, some of us are willing to take the risk.

Well said

Well said

Well said

Well said

Well said

I agree don’t judge anyone that wants to play alone, we all need to do what is necessary without anyone passing a judgment. Looking for a new friend??

All these holier than though people that criticise one for doing what they feel is right ( they should look themselves in the mirror )) just do what makes you happy life it too short enjoy !!!

So this is my thoughts on this topic me and hubby are fine with male and female who are playing with out consent never judge a book by its cover you don't know what made that person choose to cheat or play alone the only thingfor us as a consenting couple you keep us out your drama

Like we have this single guy we got close with and he is playing with out consent but not because he wants but because his wife refuses to explore sexually with him his opened up to her and she does not give a damn so again you don't know why that person is choosing to play alone

Quote by fadnad

So this is my thoughts on this topic me and hubby are fine with male and female who are playing with out consent never judge a book by its cover you don't know what made that person choose to cheat or play alone the only thingfor us as a consenting couple you keep us out your drama

Like we have this single guy we got close with and he is playing with out consent but not because he wants but because his wife refuses to explore sexually with him his opened up to her and she does not give a damn so again you don't know why that person is choosing to play alone

I agree 100%. Everyone is in a different situation and under different conditions / circumstances. I am in a similar boat as mentioned above in that my wife has been given an open door to suggest or do whatever she wants, with or without me, but to merely be open and honest about it and have nothing to hide. She is not even willing to discuss sex and fantasies etc and I am the complete opposite so it can cause friction. It's easier to leave it as it is (because I've tried over and over many times to even discuss it) and do what gets you off. If a partner does not even want to discuss sex never mind try different things or even positions, then I feel they are not part of the sexual portion of a marriage but why should the other be left in the dark and ignored. This is not only my situation but I know females who are in the same position but feel they have no right to "cheat" in order to get what they want. To each their own as long as you hurt nobody.

Well said guys now we need to see the ladies reply???

Quote by fadnad

So this is my thoughts on this topic me and hubby are fine with male and female who are playing with out consent never judge a book by its cover you don't know what made that person choose to cheat or play alone the only thingfor us as a consenting couple you keep us out your drama

Like we have this single guy we got close with and he is playing with out consent but not because he wants but because his wife refuses to explore sexually with him his opened up to her and she does not give a damn so again you don't know why that person is choosing to play alone

Well said and highly respectful. Wish more people would have that mindset in this lifestyle.

Single bisexual woman keen to be a married man's side piece and have some great sex. Hit me up

Quote by fadnad

So this is my thoughts on this topic me and hubby are fine with male and female who are playing with out consent never judge a book by its cover you don't know what made that person choose to cheat or play alone the only thingfor us as a consenting couple you keep us out your drama

Like we have this single guy we got close with and he is playing with out consent but not because he wants but because his wife refuses to explore sexually with him his opened up to her and she does not give a damn so again you don't know why that person is choosing to play alone

Thanks for your comments as a couple, only whish more couples would comment and think the way you guys do.

Quote by fadnad

So this is my thoughts on this topic me and hubby are fine with male and female who are playing with out consent never judge a book by its cover you don't know what made that person choose to cheat or play alone the only thingfor us as a consenting couple you keep us out your drama

Like we have this single guy we got close with and he is playing with out consent but not because he wants but because his wife refuses to explore sexually with him his opened up to her and she does not give a damn so again you don't know why that person is choosing to play alone

Great reply

I used to shun people who are involved and play alone due to the fact that I was repeatedly cheated on in a previous relationship and didn't want to cause anyone the pain I endured. The cheating was not due to him not getting it at home, he probably just needed to prove something to himself. However, my mindset has changed since being in the lifestyle for a few years, and now I treat each as an individual case.

The thing we found with most involved men, is that they want you to be available when they can sneak away. We want playmates that can be available when we are in the mood for fun and games, and single men will make themselves available.