Why Hello Ms Sofistikitty, I am glad to see you once again.
As a lady I know just how it felt being a third. Usually it meant a LOT of restrictions when you do play with a couple for the first time. I sometimes felt that I had to treat the lady with *kid gloves* Due to that, I myself hardly ever played as a third.
Man, women are really something In some ways I really have to say guys have it way way easier than females. As the man in a couple, they have less issues with men, than us females have with a couples lady! Men usually has less *hang-ups* than females.
I know as a single, playing as a third, it takes a LOT of discretion, understanding, patience, we singles have to have (male or female) to be able to play with couples.
Best is to REALLY ask guidelines what you can and cannot do before you agree to join them. The moment you get the *feeling* and girls you do get a *feeling*, that the lady is insecure, Do not play with them. It saves you blushing moments as well as for the couple. And you will not feel like you were only there as a *pro* to do what the lady of the couple will not do with the hubby (which is another No No) in my own eyes.
Ah Softiskitty, I'm so sorry you had a horrible experience!
I know the feeling of disappointment from unmet expectations and being stood up.
In all this time, we have only ever met with one couple! All the others have stood us up, leaving us to have coffee just the 2 of us at the restaurant...
Who knows if they saw us and decided that we are not worth the decent "thanks but no thanks" or if they just didn't show up.
We seldom have meet and greet first with single guys. They either arrive at the agreed upon venue, or they leave us high and dry. The single ladies we have chatted too... well, the meet just never seems to materialise..
From our experience it is always the Men that have had issues never their wives. We have seen this at clubs and when we have hooked up with couples.
I think allot of guys "force" their partners a bit into this lifestyle because they really want to shag other woman. Their wives reluctantly go with it to keep their husbands happy.
The guys are so excited and horny when meeting to play until you touch their wives or the wives start to enjoy themselves a bit. Most guys can't wait to shag another guys wife but the minute someone shags their wife all hell breaks loose.
We have had many husbands in tears...
Where the problem comes in with a Single Woman is with her being BI. (THIS MIGHT BE WHAT HAPPEND TO YOU) And they are actually not even really curious. We experienced this in my wife's early bi curious days. We met woman that were supposed to be bi and I was excited that they could sort of "show my wife the ropes" but when we met up they really only wanted to play with me. This was a huge issue and their were a few bad choices that almost destroyed my wife's curiosity.
We have spoken to hundreds of Bullshiters, had some awkward experiences, met some duchebags and Asshole's along this journey. And most people would have probably left this lifestyle...
But thanks to a few singles and a few couples and the strength and fire this lifestyle has given our relationship it is all worth It!
This is something to think about.....
When a couple lands a unicorn, then more often than not it's like the dog that caught the fire truck. It's an okay what now moment.
Men generally won't want to take the lead because us girls do tend to get jealous in FMF scenario. An our men know it.
Also as a side note ( that will get the angry forum mob on my back again.) Very few couples are truly swingers. ( But Sam how can you say such a thing)
Think about it, most profiles read . New to this ... Or ... Dipping our toes... Or ... Etc. And that's okay. But it does leave people in situations like this . One should in this lifestyle grow a thick skin. Or like kitty just make the choice. If it doesn't make you feel good then just don't