Is polygamy a thing?

Hey guys.

I have been discussing a poly relationship with my wife recently. I wanted to know if there others how have any experience and advise.

I have had the same discussion with my wife, would not mind a man joining us permanently but have no idea how to approach it??? A lot of men have two woman but not the other way around.

Ah , this is something we joke about often. Having a second man around could really be a good idea. We usually joke that the bed is big enough and Daph will be nice and warm in the winter. And when she is cranky I always have a mate to go fishing with.

But the kids would probably never accept that type of relationship, so a joke it will be.

But if you think about it , it does make more sense to have 2 men and 1 wife , your chances of successfully managing the relationship is better, because 2 men would be tending to the emotional needs of 1 woman .

Having it the other way around might sound like a wet dream come true . But when you just look past the bed for a while and imagine the worst mood your wife could be in , the multiply that by 2 , and all that energy is focused on you .... then it doesn't sound as fun anymore does it .

i wouldnt mind, just have to work out logistics

Yes it is a pleasant thought, happy wife happy life, think men get on better as friends than woman, makes more sense as men get older and we battle with our equipment functioning, woman never have that problem. Fact is a woman of 80 can have sex with 6 men no problem a man of 80 will count himself lucky to get 1.

In the context of Polygamy as in marriage, I would not be able to give an opinion.

In the context of Polygamy where there are 3 partners in a permanent relationship, we have quite a bit of fair dealing.

First a bit of context:

1. Jay and I have had a few long-term relationships with girls, with the last one -Chanel -living with us for 10 months (still great friends) and we were for all intents and purposes in a Throuple relationship...it was one of the most amazing time periods of our relationship ever. Jay and her would do things together they loved, me and her would do things together we loved and then off-Course Jay and I had our standing things...ultimately all three of us also being together in a relationship.

2. I have had 2 long-term bulls so far (not at the same time) who were for all intents and purposes my full-time boyfriends while Jay and I are married. We would set up dates and play dates and I was in one relationship with Jay and Chanel -where Jay and I were each other's Primary partner and in another relationship with my bull (whom we also met here on this site).

We also have a long-term relationship with Keira but because we don't see each other daily, I will not count that for this purpose.

Being in a polygamous relationship does not come without its challenges. The same way you had challenges adapting back when you had your very first long-term/live-together relationship, you will have challenges in this one.

The biggest off-course is that there is still a bit of jealousy involved. With that, I don't just mean me being jealous of Jay's relationship with her, but also times where Jay would get a bit jealous of my alone time with her...and then times where she would feel left out when Jay and I go out and do things alone.
The key in our case (which might not be for every relationship), we found to be (a) Structure (b) Communication and (c) Prioritization.

With Structure, I mean that we had set days of the week where Jay and she would have their alone time, me and her our alone time, Jay and I our alone time and then ultimately all 3 of us together. We would change these schedules all the time, but the 1 I would think worked the best was:
(We would spend days together according to activities. Example: Jay and she loved jogging and would go jogging together, after which she and I would do selfcare (Facemasks, nails, hair etc.))
Monday, Wednesday & Sunday nights: Jay & I had our alone time.

Tuesdays: She and Jay (if my bull wanted to do a date outside our daytime plays, these were usually te days.)
Thursdays: She and I

Fridays & Saturdays: All 3 of us together.

We would also have day-time schedules. Example: If I had something on with my bull, Jay and Chanel would have the day together. If Jay had to work weekends, Chanel and I would spend it together.

If one partner is dealing with something however, and needs a bit of one-on-one comfort time, then the schedule gets put aside for that day or however long it takes.

We would openly communicate our plans and experiences with each other, with absolute honesty...this includes universal respect among all members.

Finally, Jay and I would always prioritize ourselves as our Primary relationship, but without neglecting her.

It takes quite a bit of getting used to.

About 10 months in, she got a full scholarship to study toward a Master Chef program in France and we had to push her to accept it. We still love her and speak to her often, and obviously still play when she does come to visit. If we ever move to France (which I strongly doubt we'll do) or if she moves back, we would absolutely get into a fulltime Throuple relationship with her again. If we meet another girl that we fall in love with, we will absolutely do it again.

As for my bull, he became one of Jay's best friends ever to this day. If your partner falls in love with someone, the chances are great that this person will have similar traits to you...which more often than not will mean that you and their partner may very well end up being fantastic friends. (Jay and he even tag-teamed me a few times.)

Now, we obviously made mistakes as we progressed -as all people in all relationships do- but we also learned from those mistakes -as all people in all relationships do. (For example, sometimes you will find yourself giving a bit more attention to one partner than the other. Sometimes you will find yourself in a fight with one partner, subconsciously unfairly seeking the other's validation -which is a huge mistake and very unfair to both of them. Etc. etc. etc. I should stress at this point, that we had a standing rule that 2 partners who had a fight, had to spend the night together, no matter what the schedule said.)

Anyways, if you do it right, a polygamist relationship can be one of the most rewarding things to ever experience.

Quote by daphil
Having it the other way around might sound like a wet dream come true . But when you just look past the bed for a while and imagine the worst mood your wife could be in , the multiply that by 2 , and all that energy is focused on you .... then it doesn't sound as fun anymore does it .

Hehehe, in our case I actually found that because Chanel and I were both women and understand women's emotions the emotional support we gave each other was one of the best things ever. 🤣
When a woman gets in a foul mood because of something hubby did (or just because of anything non-particular) she phones her best female friend to vent...now imagine if she is in love with that best friend, and that she lived with her and was there to give instant undivided support. 💖
There were times where Chanel would also go through rough personal times, and Jay would think he had done something wrong. I think it helped a lot when I would explain to him that it had nothing to do with him.
Damn, I miss her now. 😢

Quote by Jaycee

In the context of Polygamy as in marriage, I would not be able to give an opinion.

In the context of Polygamy where there are 3 partners in a permanent relationship, we have quite a bit of fair dealing.

First a bit of context:

1. Jay and I have had a few long-term relationships with girls, with the last one -Chanel -living with us for 10 months (still great friends) and we were for all intents and purposes in a Throuple relationship...it was one of the most amazing time periods of our relationship ever. Jay and her would do things together they loved, me and her would do things together we loved and then off-Course Jay and I had our standing things...ultimately all three of us also being together in a relationship.

2. I have had 2 long-term bulls so far (not at the same time) who were for all intents and purposes my full-time boyfriends while Jay and I are married. We would set up dates and play dates and I was in one relationship with Jay and Chanel -where Jay and I were each other's Primary partner and in another relationship with my bull (whom we also met here on this site).

We also have a long-term relationship with Keira but because we don't see each other daily, I will not count that for this purpose.

Being in a polygamous relationship does not come without its challenges. The same way you had challenges adapting back when you had your very first long-term/live-together relationship, you will have challenges in this one.

The biggest off-course is that there is still a bit of jealousy involved. With that, I don't just mean me being jealous of Jay's relationship with her, but also times where Jay would get a bit jealous of my alone time with her...and then times where she would feel left out when Jay and I go out and do things alone.
The key in our case (which might not be for every relationship), we found to be (a) Structure (b) Communication and (c) Prioritization.

With Structure, I mean that we had set days of the week where Jay and she would have their alone time, me and her our alone time, Jay and I our alone time and then ultimately all 3 of us together. We would change these schedules all the time, but the 1 I would think worked the best was:
(We would spend days together according to activities. Example: Jay and she loved jogging and would go jogging together, after which she and I would do selfcare (Facemasks, nails, hair etc.))
Monday, Wednesday & Sunday nights: Jay & I had our alone time.

Tuesdays: She and Jay (if my bull wanted to do a date outside our daytime plays, these were usually te days.)
Thursdays: She and I

Fridays & Saturdays: All 3 of us together.

We would also have day-time schedules. Example: If I had something on with my bull, Jay and Chanel would have the day together. If Jay had to work weekends, Chanel and I would spend it together.

If one partner is dealing with something however, and needs a bit of one-on-one comfort time, then the schedule gets put aside for that day or however long it takes.

We would openly communicate our plans and experiences with each other, with absolute honesty...this includes universal respect among all members.

Finally, Jay and I would always prioritize ourselves as our Primary relationship, but without neglecting her.

It takes quite a bit of getting used to.

About 10 months in, she got a full scholarship to study toward a Master Chef program in France and we had to push her to accept it. We still love her and speak to her often, and obviously still play when she does come to visit. If we ever move to France (which I strongly doubt we'll do) or if she moves back, we would absolutely get into a fulltime Throuple relationship with her again. If we meet another girl that we fall in love with, we will absolutely do it again.

As for my bull, he became one of Jay's best friends ever to this day. If your partner falls in love with someone, the chances are great that this person will have similar traits to you...which more often than not will mean that you and their partner may very well end up being fantastic friends. (Jay and he even tag-teamed me a few times.)

Now, we obviously made mistakes as we progressed -as all people in all relationships do- but we also learned from those mistakes -as all people in all relationships do. (For example, sometimes you will find yourself giving a bit more attention to one partner than the other. Sometimes you will find yourself in a fight with one partner, subconsciously unfairly seeking the other's validation -which is a huge mistake and very unfair to both of them. Etc. etc. etc. I should stress at this point, that we had a standing rule that 2 partners who had a fight, had to spend the night together, no matter what the schedule said.)

Anyways, if you do it right, a polygamist relationship can be one of the most rewarding things to ever experience.

Love this so much, thank you for sharing ❤️

A very powerful and interesting share. Thank you

These are the waters which need sailing more often. A heartfelt story of real life in action. Thank you for sharing.

Quote by Jaycee

Hehehe, in our case I actually found that because Chanel and I were both women and understand women's emotions the emotional support we gave each other was one of the best things ever. 🤣
When a woman gets in a foul mood because of something hubby did (or just because of anything non-particular) she phones her best female friend to vent...now imagine if she is in love with that best friend, and that she lived with her and was there to give instant undivided support. 💖
There were times where Chanel would also go through rough personal times, and Jay would think he had done something wrong. I think it helped a lot when I would explain to him that it had nothing to do with him.
Damn, I miss her now. 😢

Yes, the trickiest part of living a truly polyamorous life is the management of each person's daily life and career. The plain old nilla stuff. Case in point being; Chanel getting an opportunity so far away that it becomes highly unlikely that the relationship will ever be the same again.

In my personal experience, if the parties involved play both or more sides of the gender spectrum, especially on the female side, jealousy issues that do surface are more about spending quality time than anything else. Living together makes this much easier and things can and do flow more naturally.

It also doesn't help if one's kids and/or other family members get excluded from this dynamic. It is surprising to see the healthier buildup of relationships forming when everything one would typically find happening in a standard monogamous relationship happens equally but is amplified by the number of involved persons.

Communication is absolutely key in ANY relationship, even the ones you have with your employer, kid, inlaws, your neighbour... Being in love and in a loving relationship with more than one person at the same time is not only possible, it's natural. If people can't love others equally, although slightly differently, how can any of us be parents to more than one child for example?

Sex is NOT a must, nor even an element of love. It can't ever be. It sure is a fun component, but it counts for almost nothing when one looks at the true meaning of relationships. It's the connections, the commitments, the reliability, the work and the effort that people put into each other that counts. If you can't be best friends with a person, then the "love" you may be feeling is probably nothing more than "fragile lust."

We have had two poly relationships. The first ended because of jealously (him, not us), the second due to work demands and relocation. If everyone is on the same page and rules are laid out clearly, it can work.