FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS or BOOTY CALL!

Having been a long time in this lifestyle I often find myself wondering about the dynamics each profile look for when searching for playmates.  In my opinion, there seems to be two kinds of people.  Those that look for Friends with benefits and those that only consider their engagement to be a Booty Call (one night stand) and move on.   

I can understand the Booty Call scenario as there is obviously no emotions involved or if I may dare say; no consideration for the other parties feelings as everyone is going to move on to the next pursuit.  

But for the ones that state they looking for friends with benefits, what does that term really mean?   If I break down the term: 

Being a friend means that you are part of their support system, sharing in life, laughs and love for supposedly the rest of your life. With your friends you can call them up at anytime and know you will have help in what ever situation that you need support in.  There is a strong emotional connection, something one would go at lengths to preserve and maintain as part of being a friend.   Someone you are willing to care for and prioritize in their life. 

Benefits on the other hand means something to gain, to enjoy.  A benefit is pretty straight forward.  One enjoys something they never had before.   Instead of calling it a Booty Call, perhaps it should be a Benefits Call.

For me personally, my expectation/obligations to FWBs tend to be the same as they are to friends.  Someone I just have sex with semi-regularly is not a FWB for me if that doesn't include an actual investment of a friendship that exists even when we aren't naked.  

So what are your preferences, Friends with Benefits or a Booty Call?

We prefer a booty call. As we have to drive vast distances to a arrange any sort of play there is no time for niceties and getting to know people. ( Small town syndrome) Mostly the wham bam thank you ma'am scenario suits us.

I had a BIG problem, once I decided I was more of a *friend*, then I could never think about being sexually involved with that person. I also found over time that MOST people prefer a booty call type of situation. Although the ideal should be *friends with benefits* I would think.

But calling someone a friend comes easy on the lips for most people, I myself are *friends* with a lot of people, but those FRIENDS  pasting in :- Being a friend means that you are part of their support system, sharing in life, laughs and love for supposedly the rest of your life. With your friends you can call them up at anytime and know you will have help in what ever situation that you need support in.  There is a strong emotional connection, something one would go at lengths to preserve and maintain as part of being a friend.   Someone you are willing to care for and prioritize in their life.        These type of friends, I ONLY really have a handfull of them!!!

Someone once told me that we mostly find people in our lives  for that moment in time that we need them, and them we all move on when we do not need them anymore. More like sailing ships passing.

Friends are a better call me, but a lot of people are looking for booty calls only

booty call !!! 

Yeah baby .... think about it , why would you want to get all personal and stuff... that's the reason she stole your hubby or he ran away with her . 

The focus must be on sex , and in my humble opinion.... if I had to get to know all my partners , I wouldn't have done half of them 

I had a lady who was my FWB .....and  we had loads of fun. She got into a serious relationship so we stopped.

My point is if to people have a good understanding FWB works

so true they are hard to find . I have not found a lady friend since then 

I also had a lady and had a FWB relationship,that went on for 6-8 months. Had the most amazing sex I've ever experienced everytime. We started to get feelings for each other,then instead of making things very complicated and awkward,we decided to move on as it would be best. Still miss her tho 😢 

Would love to experience something like that again without the feelings...

Please feel Free to use us as a booty call... You can even refer to us as enemies ... (The Sex is better if you have anger towards the other person). Lol

We have made friends in the lifestyle. We no longer play with those couples. We cherish the friendship part more then the sex. Not to say the sex was bad. But the friendship is better. If it comes to playing - Booty Calls for us please. Hit It Then Quit It. 

Quote by 2some4fun
We have made friends in the lifestyle. We no longer play with those couples. We cherish the friendship part more then the sex. Not to say the sex was bad. But the friendship is better. If it comes to playing - Booty Calls for us please. Hit It Then Quit It. 

 Just so we both understand .... We are NOT friends! Lol

Quote by PoohC

Quote by 2some4fun
We have made friends in the lifestyle. We no longer play with those couples. We cherish the friendship part more then the sex. Not to say the sex was bad. But the friendship is better. If it comes to playing - Booty Calls for us please. Hit It Then Quit It. 

 Just so we both understand .... We are NOT friends! Lol

 🤭☺️ Good to know... 

So i don't know whether or not this will need a new thread of its own, but considering the majority are tending towards "booty calls"... Does one tend to chatting to the couple/single enough that when you meet for the 1st time play is on the agenda or is the intention... or does one tend to wanting to meet the couple/single; chat and verify; and reschedule a 2nd mate purely for a booty call or playdate between all parties?

Quote by nawtykznguy
So i don't know whether or not this will need a new thread of its own, but considering the majority are tending towards "booty calls"... Does one tend to chatting to the couple/single enough that when you meet for the 1st time play is on the agenda or is the intention... or does one tend to wanting to meet the couple/single; chat and verify; and reschedule a 2nd mate purely for a booty call or playdate between all parties?

 For Us we don't enjoy "meeting 1st to see if we click". It feels like the most awkward first date ever. 

What are you supposed to say or talk about... We are all adults that are on this site with the intention of meeting other people to "Swop Orgasms"..

We would of discussed all the things that we were into and what was not allowed etc before we meet, so what else is there to say...

My thoughts will be to meet and see if there is a click, people can pretend when not face to face and don't want any suprises, nobody said after that 1st drink you can't invite them to your place for a night cap

Sorry Pooh-C. We agree with the Valentines on this. The adage is Once Bitten - Twice Shy. We are 3 times bitten. The amount of people clinging to their glory days is horrendous. Couples and singles yearning for the days before Uber eats. When they actually made it to a gym and did a work out once or thrice a week instead of ordering in fast food daily and fondly remember the days when they were in shape and that shape wasn't a circle. Or the couples that maintain some sort of daily skin care regimen to ensure that father time hasnt changed that once soft and sensual skin to hard, grainy, coarse leather. And the problem with many of those people...  they send you the pics they took in their prime. And have no qualms about passing them off as their "present day" templates.

We've been caught by 3 of those couples. Pitching up at a bar/resturant to meet and struggling to recognise the people/person that eventually presents themselves. Their Mr sits down and we disciver to our horror, he has let himself go. And while he may have been a model in his heyday - now he'd only be hired to represent the before picture in a Fat Busters commercial. Or their Mrs sits down and we recoil as we see that she was the unfortunate recipient of a case of severe fever blisters. Spending most of her evening dabbing the ooze emanating from the 4 open sores on her lower lip. Imagine pitching at a hotel you've paid for and Shrek and Fiona arrive. Or worse Mrs Large and Mr Larger. Thats why we meet first face to face to test real world chemistries. Then and only then do we commit to something carnal. 

Quote by 2some4fun
Sorry Pooh-C. We agree with the Valentines on this. The adage is Once Bitten - Twice Shy. We are 3 times bitten. The amount of people clinging to their glory days is horrendous. Couples and singles yearning for the days before Uber eats. When they actually made it to a gym and did a work out once or thrice a week instead of ordering in fast food daily and fondly remember the days when they were in shape and that shape wasn't a circle. Or the couples that maintain some sort of daily skin care regimen to ensure that father time hasnt changed that once soft and sensual skin to hard, grainy, coarse leather. And the problem with many of those people...  they send you the pics they took in their prime. And have no qualms about passing them off as their "present day" templates.
We've been caught by 3 of those couples. Pitching up at a bar/resturant to meet and struggling to recognise the people/person that eventually presents themselves. Their Mr sits down and we disciver to our horror, he has let himself go. And while he may have been a model in his heyday - now he'd only be hired to represent the before picture in a Fat Busters commercial. Or their Mrs sits down and we recoil as we see that she was the unfortunate recipient of a case of severe fever blisters. Spending most of her evening dabbing the ooze emanating from the 4 open sores on her lower lip. Imagine pitching at a hotel you've paid for and Shrek and Fiona arrive. Or worse Mrs Large and Mr Larger. Thats why we meet first face to face to test real world chemistries. Then and only then do we commit to something carnal. 

 Made me laugh and grateful I have never had such an experience.

Quote by 2some4fun
We have made friends in the lifestyle. We no longer play with those couples. We cherish the friendship part more then the sex. Not to say the sex was bad. But the friendship is better. If it comes to playing - Booty Calls for us please. Hit It Then Quit It. 

 Sigh.......... We have also adopted this rule. For us, we have become quite close to a couple from this site without ever playing. And now the thought of playing casues anxiety as to the effects on the friendship. 

Quote by 2some4fun
Sorry Pooh-C. We agree with the Valentines on this. The adage is Once Bitten - Twice Shy. We are 3 times bitten. The amount of people clinging to their glory days is horrendous. Couples and singles yearning for the days before Uber eats. When they actually made it to a gym and did a work out once or thrice a week instead of ordering in fast food daily and fondly remember the days when they were in shape and that shape wasn't a circle. Or the couples that maintain some sort of daily skin care regimen to ensure that father time hasnt changed that once soft and sensual skin to hard, grainy, coarse leather. And the problem with many of those people...  they send you the pics they took in their prime. And have no qualms about passing them off as their "present day" templates.
We've been caught by 3 of those couples. Pitching up at a bar/resturant to meet and struggling to recognise the people/person that eventually presents themselves. Their Mr sits down and we disciver to our horror, he has let himself go. And while he may have been a model in his heyday - now he'd only be hired to represent the before picture in a Fat Busters commercial. Or their Mrs sits down and we recoil as we see that she was the unfortunate recipient of a case of severe fever blisters. Spending most of her evening dabbing the ooze emanating from the 4 open sores on her lower lip. Imagine pitching at a hotel you've paid for and Shrek and Fiona arrive. Or worse Mrs Large and Mr Larger. Thats why we meet first face to face to test real world chemistries. Then and only then do we commit to something carnal. 

WHO the Hell are you meeting. Lol

We do Video Call the Couples/Singles When we are making the final arrangements, so that sort of gets rid of the bullshitters.

I try not judge people by their weight or are after a swinging experience I had with my ex girlfriend and a couple that She had arranged for us to play with.

I was not in the mood to go and play with her or anyone else (it was nearing the end of our relationship)

We met at this couples house in pretoria and the surprise I got when I saw them was "Life Changing".. Lol

The couple must have been in their late 60's early 70's. There were knitted doilies everywhere and pictures of their grandkids all over the place. The lady was very Large and her husband was very skinny.

My Girlfriend immediately changed her mind about playing and faked having her period. I didn't want to be rude and just leave because I would of felt bad for them, so I just thought "Fuckit I'm here already, let me make the most of it"..

Let be 100% Honest... it was some of the best sex I have ever had. It was also the first time that I tried DP. I'm glad I didn't judge a book by its cover and leave, otherwise I would of missed out on an awesome experience.

There has to be some sexual attraction obviously, but what I have learnt over the years is "Every Woman is SEXY, It's up to the person that's playing with her to bring that Sexyness out of her" ...

And the Sexiest thing a woman can wear or have is Confidence... I don't care what a woman looks like, if she is confident.... She will Ooze Sex Appeal!

They have a saying in Afrikaans. I belive it's...   NorraVok!    Would not. Could not.  Call me shallow - I do care what a woman looks like. Confidence is great...   in the boardroom or on the sportsfield. 

Standing in a room and a very confident Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma strides over...   but then I see a shy and awkward looking, Angelina Jolie standing in the corner - I know who I gonna be freaking with later !

I would prefer a FWB scenario. Call me old and old fashioned. But sex is more in tense.

Booty call is normally a late night one too many drink calls. The regret.

FWB is a connection, a exploration, a cannot wait again moment.

Draw back and the rule that must be followed. Do not fall in love.

Ash: I was her booty call that turned into a friend with benefits .....the benefit is I get to call her my girlfriend 🤣🤣

Quote by The_Valentines
Ash: I was her booty call that turned into a friend with benefits .....the benefit is I get to call her my girlfriend 🤣🤣

BOOM💥 Another Couple that met on Swingingheaven. Im now up to 14 Couples.