Is this the way it should work? Or is this the norm?
We have met a few cpl's so far but it has lead to nothing. Just a met and greet. During the met and greet a person chats about general things like what the other cpl likes and dislike and your likes and dislike and the rules and boundaries which one should not cross. And then the conversation turns to about other cpls which they have met and what went wrong for the other cpl when they met other cpls during the fun part and thereafter. Note the part of thereafter. Which is of great concern for us as a cpl!
We have met more than 3 cpl's that all say the same thing. The married man of the cpl B which they have met then start to worry the other cpls wife A at work. And the man of cpl B then tries to get the married wife of cpl A to have an a fear behind her husband's back and behinds his own wife's back. And it gets to should a point that the cpls part in bad teams as the man of cpl B has broken the trust bond.
Now I want to know the following:
1. Is this the norm how things happen?
2. Do you contact the cpls wife of cpl A and tell her what her hubby is doing behind her back and is she happy with what her husband is doing.
3. Or do you just just fuck the guy up?
Because of what the men are doing we as a cpl is now scared to met other cpls .
Please give advice for in case we do come across such a man.
Joyrider
This is something we did not expect to hear from other cpls!
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Discussion: Affairs on the side. Acceptable?
well thats not on and for us newbies that will definitely be a danger. this the norm how things happen?
- not very new to this and haven't even got to the meet stage. you contact the cpls wife of cpl A and tell her what her hubby is doing behind her back and is she happy with what her husband is doing.
- we would. do you just just fuck the guy up?
- is it worth it?
This site and lifestyle includes many different types of people. As in any other community, you do have those who do not match your own morals or thinking. If you do met up with a couple who do display the behaviour you describe, scratch them off the list and move on and be proud that you have stuck to your own morals. We prefer to chat onsite for a bit to make sure of the other couple. When it comes to off site contact, we find that getting the ladies to talk first also ensures that the other couple is genuine. If she isn't it keen and open... you know to move on. For us, the ladies rule works a treat.. 
Master of Sex
May I answer and give advice from experience? When I was part of a couple, we also met a couple and the dude started getting forward. He started wanting to visit when partner was not home etc. He also started inappropriate chats and only chatted alone without his partner. So we told her well both of them that we were no longer interested in organizing a play date, we said why and deleted. So that they can sort out the trust issues.
Now that I'm single I've been on dates one dude lied about everything and what was crap about that was that he came to my place to pick me up for coffee. And because u sort of build a relationship with the person he knew a few personal details. Ends up he lied about age, name, marital status. There's some weirdos out there. Don't divulge too much, meet in public places or neutral areas.
So my advice is, its not the norm but shit happens. Tell his wife or chat to them together- no secrets. And don't f him up there's no sense in that, hand over the problem to his wife. If it persists then he is a stalker, call cops?
I would be a little more discreet but just as, if NOT more, effective.
If the male or female for that matter of a couple starts to chat me up for sexual interludes behind their partners back after WE all three have met and played.
I will, after who ever is the culprit,made contact or phone their spouse and ask her/him if they are okay with an *imaginable* date as his/her spouse was asking for another play I will say the culprit was phoning me to ask for sexual , what date suited her or as if the spouse included her/him in the request.
I will also tell the culprit I will phone his/her other half to confirm any requests.
Just by doing THAT the spouse will know the other half was going behind his /her back and will follow it up on his or her own, with out me having to say directly *hey your spouse is cheater*.
You cannot be held responsible for anything,cause people you know just as well as I do, the one doing the naughty will always blame the one who is if you are the one telling the sad bad news, you are also held responsible for any break-ups or fights.
They can then also *save a little face* after sorting out their differences,and the cheating one will know I am NOT safe to keep things to myself, I will phone and confirm any will stop.
If things persist, I will go directly and tell the spouse, make no mistake.
As for meeting couples /singles discussing Other people in the lifestyle whom they have played with.
YES ,one will hear either good things or bad things of a certain person or couples, NOT meaning the BEDROOM DETAILS,but how that person or couple or one of the spouses of the couple, conducted themselves.
And NO ONE can tell me It does NOT happen, it does.
That is in a way, a good thing ,as it will remove the chancers/the disrespectful and the cheaters from the real life-stylers.
Everyone always want to name and shame the Naughty people...well it is a way of doing so.
BUT ALSO REMEMBER...
It is also a way people use to discredit someone who has rejected them,who in fact is innocent.
My advice is go meet, see if there is chemistry,we have to remember not everyone can like you or you them.
Also MAKE clear once again what the rules are and what your personal rules are.
NO separate meeting or contact with out all spouses involvements.
As for any physical fights or abuse...it does not really solve anything.
This makes me very sad. Another reason I wish this site had a more strict and prescriptive sign up process.
Swinging, in my mind should be the opposite of cheating.
This has never happened to us. Well that's not to say I haven't met some seriously dodgy people here but we've never met any fave to face. Maybe my filtering system works well?
We have couple friends though where we individually chat to each other. Without a lot of sexual content. .. except the girls we tend to be quite sexy with each other in chat. But the guys know. We're all four really good friends. And us girls have had fun together without the boys... Who thought it was brilliant.
I suppose it does all boil down to what kind of people you choose to meet.
Note: this particular friendship started out with the girls doing lunch together.
It was a really good way to start.
Orgasminator
Baie goeie vraag wat gevra word en sal ook dan my deel wil bydrae tot hierdie vraag antwoord.
Ek wil dit baie duidelik stel dat ons totaal gekant is teen enige manier van cheat en bedoel daarmme dat die een iets doen waarvan die ander een nie weet nie. Ons sal ons huiswerk na die beste van ons vermoeie doen maar sal nie cheating aanvaar nie. (Ons het nie al die antwoorde nie)
Om mee te begin sal ek die waarheid verdraai as ek die stelling maak dat ons nie sekere probleme al gehad het in die leefstyl nie. Maar die spesifike problem van mense na die ontmoeting kontak te probeer maak sonder die ander se medewete, gelukking nog nie met ons gebeur nie. Daarmee se ek nie dat ons nie op indivueule vlak kontak maak nie maar beslis met die ander persoon se medewete.
In van die ander vraag en antwoorde oor iets soort gelyk, kom die vraag nog steeds by my op. Hoe gereeld is daar chemisrty tussen twee couples dat al 4 mense dan chemisrty vind, ek se nie dit kan nie gebeur nie. Dit bring my by die vraag die twee wat wel chemistry ondervind moet hulle die vriendskap of bonding stop sit,omrede die ander twee het nie chemistry nie.
In ons geval weet ek dat ons die vriendskap sal wil uitbou solank daar net eerlikheid bly tussen die 4 mense. Ons as sulks glo aan alle eerlikheid teenoor mekaar en gun die een die ander vriendskappe op 'n een op een, maar die ander een weet wat aangaan.
Waarmee ons baie sukses het is dat sodra ons kennis maak, sal ons 'n persoonlike ontnmoeting reel, waar ons meer vra kan vra en antwoorde kry. Dit help ook baie as die vriendekring waarin 'n mens beweeg, iemand jou weer voorstel aan hul vriende so word die groep groter en groter en ontwikkel vriendskappe buite die groep.
Warming the Bed
no its defiantly not the norm
our rule on chatting to the other couples are do not put something on my wife's phone that will upset you if you should find it on your own wife's phone.
We also make it very clear that we read each others massages if so desired, and if you do start with tricks we will delete you. this is suppose to be all fun without complications.
we have had 99% more fun than anything ells on site.
and yes its better meeting new friends that comes by means of an referral
Sexlightened
it’s not the norm but it does happen we also experienced the male of the couple trying to meet wifey alone and even went as far as wanting to meet during work hours but don’t let a few bad apples spoil your experience
Sexpert
First off, if you are in a relationship and you are both enjoying the "lifestyle" (Sleep with other people), but you still decide to go behind your partners back.... That's a bit of a Douchebag move!
You are getting everything a man could possibly ask for, you can have sex with your partners full knowledge and approval (But you are still not happy)
Secondly - This lifestyle is built on TRUST, without it... It would come crashing down.
So when someone's partner trusts you enough that they are happily willing to let you sleep with their partner, yet you still go behind that persons back and contact that person's partner to have an affair... Shows exactly what type of person you are and you should not be in this lifestyle! (Rather setup a tinder account)
Having said that... We are on this site for NSA fun. There are married men that contact us to arrange threesomes. We do not get involved with their lives or what they do behind their partners back because it's got nothing to do with us. We are all consenting adults here.
It would be a total different story if we played with a couple and then the husband contacted us to have a threesome behind his wife's back...
I wouldn't tell his wife because he will f#ck his own marriage up (doesn't need our help) but I will make sure that he understands to not contact us again...
I'm also not against issuing a "Physical" warning when needed
So when someone's partner trusts you enough that they are happily willing to let you sleep with their partner, yet you still go behind that persons back and contact that person's partner to have an affair... Shows exactly what type of person you are and you should not be in this lifestyle! (Rather setup a tinder account)
That's exactly what someone on this site tried with us.
Sexpert
Quote by LightersideofgreenThat's exactly what someone on this site tried with us.
So when someone's partner trusts you enough that they are happily willing to let you sleep with their partner, yet you still go behind that persons back and contact that person's partner to have an affair... Shows exactly what type of person you are and you should not be in this lifestyle! (Rather setup a tinder account)
The worst thing about this lifestyle has to be the Bull Shitters, Time Wasters and Wankers that seem to be multiplying at a rapid rate.
I think this has caused a lot of people to give up trying and leave this lifestyle.
But will all the negative people that mess you around it just takes that one person or couple that you just "Click" with, and it makes you realise how awesome and lucky we all are to be apart of this amazing lifestyle...
We have been blessed with meeting some XXXtraordinary people along the way!
This is Not the Norm for couples and should not be. This must be discussed when you are talking about boundaries. And the one thing in this lifestyle is Honesty. This is the only consistent factor amongst everything you are doing here and ppl you find. Also from the onset if either couples cross that boundary it must be known.
Also why don't u start a group chat. That way it saves men and women from opposite couples contacting each other outside of the arrangements.
#Noentanglements.
Forum Virgin
Quote by joyrider
Is this the way it should work? Or is this the norm?
We have met a few cpl's so far but it has lead to nothing. Just a met and greet. During the met and greet a person chats about general things like what the other cpl likes and dislike and your likes and dislike and the rules and boundaries which one should not cross. And then the conversation turns to about other cpls which they have met and what went wrong for the other cpl when they met other cpls during the fun part and thereafter. Note the part of thereafter. Which is of great concern for us as a cpl!
We have met more than 3 cpl's that all say the same thing. The married man of the cpl B which they have met then start to worry the other cpls wife A at work. And the man of cpl B then tries to get the married wife of cpl A to have an a fear behind her husband's back and behinds his own wife's back. And it gets to should a point that the cpls part in bad teams as the man of cpl B has broken the trust bond.
Now I want to know the following:
1. Is this the norm how things happen?
2. Do you contact the cpls wife of cpl A and tell her what her hubby is doing behind her back and is she happy with what her husband is doing.
3. Or do you just just fuck the guy up?
Because of what the men are doing we as a cpl is now scared to met other cpls .
Please give advice for in case we do come across such a man.
Joyrider
This is something we did not expect to hear from other cpls!
Honestly no 3--3--3--3--3--3--3
There is supposed to be trust there from all Parties concerned in the Matter.
