This is a very sad part of the lifestyle. We have never met a swinger couple or single who hasn't been stood up at one time or another.
I recently read an online survey of swingers around the world and the results were 35% of All arranged play dates don’t happen because of the other party not pitching.
We have been fortunate not to have this happen that many times but even once is already too many times to be stood up.
The bullshit excuses are one thing but what’s even worse is NO EXCUSE! If you are going to cancel last minute at least Text and make up some bizarre excuse. It's etiquette as a swinger to accept whatever that reason is and move on. Text and say your pet turtle needs emergency surgery. ANYTHING.
Of course, we know rule #1 of swinging is that people are flaky. The backing out thing makes us nuts for sure- but like I said above. I have a much easier time when they at least don't further waste a couple's time.
The lifestyle motto should honestly be "always have a plan b" because this is so common
Here are a few ways to avoid “Time Wasters”:
●Try to contact Paying members here on SH (If someone Is willing to pay to be a part of this lifestyle , they usually are serious)
● Avoid new swingers or do extra screening for them. Curious 1st timers often flake at the last second.
● Look for certifications/verified profiles.
● Avoid people aggressively asking for pictures. These tend to be fake profiles trying to collect sexy pictures for their lonely masturbation.
When making plans it is best to pick a meeting place where you can still have a good time regardless if the other couple shows up. They are just an added bonus to your good time. We personally prefer to meet fresh faces at swinger events. If they no show, it doesn't stop us from having a fun time
But after being in it a while, you can start to see the red flags of a "no show" potential profile. Only the M chatting, wanting to get more and more pics, F never on line, and endless chats requesting more pics/info. . If there are expenses or travel involved (a higher commitment of time and $) then we ask for a call where everyone is online. If no F can talk, all things stop until she can. That pretty much nips the fakes.
COUPLES
I Think nerves have a lot to do, especially with inexperienced people. As for Couples Not turning up Those folks don't really wanna meet people. They also don't REALLY wanna swing...... They like the idea of swinging, and they get a thrill out of knowing you WOULD meet them, but beyond that they're dead ends. Faux swingers. Swinger wanna-be's..
You must also sometimes give people the benefit of the doubt and maybe they are telling the truth. We know all about nerves or changing one's mind, or having a spousal argument at a really bad time . Many swingers are also parents so there might be a last minute family issue or mother nature can pop-up and cause some lady issues.
SINGLE GUYS
I think it's a wonderful fantasy for them but when the wall of reality hits them in the face they get scared. I honestly believe it shows more about their shortcomings, not yours (pun kind of intended). ;) Single guys all try and act like they are these sex studs but I think they realise that they are about to be caught out that’s why they get cold feet.
SO many of these fakes are actually married dudes getting their rocks off by tricking couples into swapping pics. Their wife has no idea what they’re up to. They never have In some of our experiences (although not all, by any means), the guys who get flaky tend to be cheating... I've heard "we have a flat, or "something came up and we had an argument", the pieces start pointing to "he's cheating and can't sneak away". Most times I can spot it straight away and I ask the guys “Does your wife know that you guys are on this site"
What we do as well with Single guys that want to meet is we get them to book the Room/Venue and send us the confirmation booking. Trust me if a guy has paid money for something, I guarantee he will pitch.
SIMPLE MANNERS
If you're dabbling in the lifestyle and thing you're going to get cold feet at the last moment then Don't make plans with people. If just a fantasy.
It takes effort to go out, whether it be arranging a sitter or a work schedule. You can drag your feet forever on meeting for all I care. We all understand how nerve wracking that first meet and greet can be. But if you set a time, only cancel if you absolutely must. Or at least make an excuse and apologize
So, I'd say don't take it personally. We've found that few sporadic head aches, is really worth all the fun we get to have, and great friendships we get to make!
But all is forgiven!! 
