1. The Profile that asks you to see your pics but has nothing in their own?
2. The Profile that tells you how badly they want to get with you, what they want to do and what their pedigree is - every ten minutes.
3. The Profile that leaves a comment on each photo you post - but cant figure out how to use the chat function?
Yeah - we have all experienced the keyboard wankers - and it really is difficult to know which person to engage with, and whom not to - but in the end, your profile is the only firewall you can create against the pic collectors, the people out of your desired age-range and, the people who are not - like you serious about having some fun.
Some of my experience on the site: Of course, a little altered, so that no one feels hurt - but, let's call a spade a spade.
A) The dude with a broken nose: Had to be super discreet - and send him location "of my broken down car" so that his wife won't get suspicious ... He got here - about 17 years older than his profile, about 17 photos off of his original - but, he was nice enough, we spoke, had a drink ... I'm adult enough to tell someone - "hey man, was cool meeting you - but, I don't feel the chemistry, let's call it" - but, before I could say "Bliksem" - he was nude, and brought along his armpits - in a big way ... I could hardly breathe. He had helium legs - meaning - his pants hadn't hit the floor and he was on his back, legs in the air, ready to get F-cked. I couldn't. Firstly - not so into the fucking thing ... secondly, the armpits. I politely offered him to shower, to which he replied: "I have a broken nose - can't smell myself". The dude was decent, I got his predicament, I knew he was horny, wild and out on a limb - and I respect that.
Lesson learnt: Be clear about the list that needs to be ticked for you to have an exciting date.
B) The dude with the wife: Awesome chat, civil exchange, clear priorities. Tells me when to reply, when not to. Tells me how we can meet, where, and how he would get there - and how I could meet him there, when. All good. In my car, getting ready to leave - showered, ordered, ready. Message: "Sorry dude, wife back". Once, close. Twice, weird. Three times - I'm not getting in my car again. Each time, 10 minutes before we are set to meet - his wife comes back from .... (insert location she was just at). I totally respect privacy, discretion and I am the last person to judge anything about your relationship ... but don't stuff your wank fantasy around. Please?
Lesson Learnt: Be honest. You are hoping to exchange bodily fluids. It is much easier to simply be honest right from the get go. In this case - I know I am part of a livid fantasy. That's ok. But tiresome.
C) The dude with the list to tick: Cool chat, fair exchange - nice discussion, some fantasies that needs exploring, doesn't sound too hectic - do able, and interesting also from my perspective. He definitely wanted to be dominated - was very clear about that. Wanted to be told what to do.... Meet. All cool. Then, we start with the list, almost like a spread sheet, from top to bottom. "Lets do this now" - "put your hand there" , "not like that" - "say "this to me now, louder"" ... etc. I don't think I have ever been more turned off.
Lesson Learnt: Read the Room! Listen to your sex partner - if you want to be dominated, then fine - but then, give up the steering wheel. If you can't give up the steering wheel, look for someone to dominate. Sometimes, exploring a stranger, and what possibilities there are - is more exciting than fulfilling your list of needs.
D) The dude with the drugs: I am super keen on some support material sometimes - not always, but, in the right situation, it is fun. In Measure. I know my limits, and I am quite clear about them - as soon as I "partake" a lot more happens in my mind, I become quiet - not non-participatory - but non verbal. When this meeting of "adults knowing what they do" happens (which is super super seldom) - then, utmost trust is necessary and important. Not with this dude. I explain my limits, my taboo's (no injections, no hardcore sh*t etc.) ahead of time hoping, this would be respected - This dude takes off his shirt and immediately, it becomes obvious that there aren't many not infected veins, and the only reason I am here - is to deliver the next hit. Which is exactly what happens. Without even talking, he sets the needle - and whether I am there or not is irrelevant - at some point, hours later (it was lock down, I had to wait it out) he remembers my presence - offering to now give me a BJ ...
Lesson Learnt: Don't go on a date without a plan B. Ever. Don't compromise your own integrity. I am happy I didn't.
E) The dude with the wild fantasy: Awesome chat. Awesome exchange. Match is perfect. Efforts made. I get to his place - we have a drink, and we chat some more. We chat about things we would like to experience, have experienced. And then, slowly, it moves to that familiar place of let's get to it ... and then, he folds. breaks down, starts talking about his GF. His religion. His hopes for the future ... and Bitcoin.
Lesson Learnt: SH is also a lonely hearts meeting place. Some people just need company. But once again, be honest. Even though we made contact over a sex site - it is fine to say: "Let's just hang" or "I don't have the courage for this". We have all had our minds run away with us - you don't have to do anything, ever. You can though.
