I'm a Sapiosexual, always exploring. Absolutely love pushing people out of their comfort zones.

Please do not start your conversations with "How are you?" or "Hope u are well?". You are not sending an E-mail and going back and forward between "Good and you, fine, what you doing" are not sexy. If you don't know what 'Sapiosexual' means, Google it, and stop wasting my time. I have a life, and do not spent the majority of my time wanking in my mom's basement.

So guys, before you slip into my DMs, check out some templates or a YouTube tutorial on how to talk to a woman, and If you still don't know what to say, I would suggest you remove yourself and check out your local bowls- or movie club instead, because you're definitely not scoring here. (Terible waste of a good pun, Jesus take the wheel 🙄)

Secondly, start your convo with a picture of your face, otherwise Ill have to draw googly eyes on your cock and save it as your profile pic. I know what your member looks like, because you have 35 photos saved in your media of the guy, let your face shine a bit. You are on here I am on here, we are not going to be dicks about it and tell your boss about your extracurricular activities, we are all adults right?

((Edit)) PLEASE STOP SENDING ME DICK PICS UNTIL I ASK YOU FOR THEM!!

I mean, are you wipping out your cock when you walk up to a woman in a bar??

Thirdly, Stop apologizing for what ever weird and self-esteem-lacking bullshit reason you made up in your mind. You will not get a sympathetic response from me, I will delete you.

I hope these tips will help you in your search for the golden vulva.

Good luck, may he who thinketh get to fucketh.