Hello,
Please don't beat me up too badly until you read our story. I'm asking for advice before I make enemies rather than friends.
My husband and I are very new. Our only experience is one visit to Club Rome last year.
That being said here is our story.
Due to my job I am out of South Africa 90% of the year. It will be November 2015 before I can live in S.A. permanently. My husband and I talked at length about joining the lifestyle before we actually went to Club Rome. Now that I know more and realize its a safe fun environment to meet people and (if the chemistry is there) enjoy the company of others in the bedroom and I want to continue what we have.
He is a loving husband and has a sex drive that's out of this world. So we agreed that when I am away he has the go ahead (permission sounds so formal) to openly seek friends out and enjoy himself. Better than cheating and lying in my book. He is actually the one who found this site and we set up our profile together. I am very glad we did but the problem is this. We have no idea how to break the ice and start meeting people serious about inviting him to join them without me.
Our short term goal is to find a "unicorn" as you call them but he is not opposed to meeting a couple willing to add him to their life in the least bit. I'm sure its the nature of the beast that the majority of activity on the site is by the men so I have been getting most of the attention. Sadly though, I can not play in person and that ends the interest from them.
Our long term goal is to have various friends, singles and couples, for us to spend time with when I move there.
Is there a preferred style or etiquette we are just not aware of? Any advice is welcome. Again I apologize in advance if I have said the wrong things in this post.
Kitty Wink
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We would love advice from experts in the lifestyle
Orgasminator
Hi Guys,
There is no right or wrong way to meet people and there are no experts in the lifestyle, only people who can share their experiences.
But as far as this site is concerned you have a few options. You have already started here in the forum and to continue participating here and well and in the chat room, will expose your brand (because you are selling yourselves) to a large group of members.
You can also surf profiles and make contact with people that may tickle your fancy.
All three methods have there pro's and con's, so fined the ones that you feel most comfortable with.
As it seems you are interested in developing long term friendships, I would advise remembering to give it time get to know people and more importantly let them get you know you. While it would seem hubby is going to be the driving force, it would add value if Mrs can log on from time to time and also participate in the general site activities.
Unfortunately there are a lot of fake's on the site and most couples and unicorns are very nervous of the married man who claims to have the wife's blessing. So be prepared and have a system in place, whether it be a tel call or live cam to cam chat, were the all parties can be assured that everything is above board.
Be patient, most people join thinking this is a dating or hook-up site, expecting to open a profile and withing 24 hours have a list of playmates that would keep them busy for at least the next month or two. In reality the norm is for it to take months and in the case of single men, they may never fined a suitable playmate.
Meeting people here happens in exactly the same way as in the real world. You are exposed to a group of people, and the more you see them the more you get to know them, eventually you click with a few and take the plunge, inviting them for a cup of coffee or accepting an invite.
Nobody can tell you whats going to work for you, but by enjoying the site, showing respect and exposing your brand to as many people as possible, you will spend the rest of your lives wondering why you didn't do this sooner.
MIKE_
Thank you for the advice.
We are on the right tack then, having a plan to prove we are genuine and patient. We love the video chat option, every one see's us and participates in the conversations. We have sent invites to a few and have been invited to be friends in return.
We know this is not a dating or random hookup site and respect that enormously. I just wanted to get advice from long time users so we don't offend or turn off anyone right from the start. I'd rather ask questions early and know the rules of the site than be blacklisted for inappropriate behavior or actions.
Here's to many years of new friendships and experiences.
Kitty Wink
Orgasminator
lol Sorry if the dating site part seemed directed at you guys, it was intended more as an explanation, but you guys seen to have it together, I wouldn't stress if i was you.
Excellent Advice from Mike
We'd like to add the following:
In the beginning we had a hard time getting going. We found many people offish.
We hated it when people just go silent on you. Later it became clear to us that they had more issues than us or where putting up a facade and most of them aren't on the site anymore.
Others where very nice but just could not keep things together in the long term. You guys have to make sure you stay on the same page to make it work. Then you have to let others feel the same way about your relationship too, if you want long term relationships with them.
As there are many fakes on this site, your situation will be difficult to explain to others.
Not all will be reading the forums and many are not willing or do not have the correct equipment for Cam chats.
Most people, including us, do not wish to show our faces openly. As for naught pics, we prefer to show ours on invitation as well but that is up to you.
Your pics are great but they do not show any real proof that these pics are currently of you.
We'll send you a PM with pics that we use to show that we are a current couple.
It is bases on what is used for Picture verification.
Member verification is also helpful but you need verification by several people before it really carries value.
As for staying out of trouble you can do that by reading the AUP by clicking on it at the bottom of each page of the site:
Copyright © 2014 Swinging Heaven South Africa = Link to UsTerms of Use =Privacy Policy=AUP
Hope you have Fun.
We'd like to add the following:
In the beginning we had a hard time getting going. We found many people offish.
We hated it when people just go silent on you. Later it became clear to us that they had more issues than us or where putting up a facade and most of them aren't on the site anymore.
Others where very nice but just could not keep things together in the long term. You guys have to make sure you stay on the same page to make it work. Then you have to let others feel the same way about your relationship too, if you want long term relationships with them.
As there are many fakes on this site, your situation will be difficult to explain to others.
Not all will be reading the forums and many are not willing or do not have the correct equipment for Cam chats.
Most people, including us, do not wish to show our faces openly. As for naught pics, we prefer to show ours on invitation as well but that is up to you.
Your pics are great but they do not show any real proof that these pics are currently of you.
We'll send you a PM with pics that we use to show that we are a current couple.
It is bases on what is used for Picture verification.
Member verification is also helpful but you need verification by several people before it really carries value.
As for staying out of trouble you can do that by reading the AUP by clicking on it at the bottom of each page of the site:
Copyright © 2014 Swinging Heaven South Africa = Link to UsTerms of Use =Privacy Policy=AUP
Hope you have Fun.
