Hi all
My BF has done this before as I am new to all this I am willing and want to give this a try where can I find us a swinging club in kempton park area how does it work? Is it better for us to have a party with a couple first lots of questions he wants to see me with a man is that normal I wound mind him doing a nother woman I am just scared of how I am going to react will I get jelouse then what then?
Thx in advanced for the answers
I agree with SDMR, you both should go and sit down and set some rule`s for the both of you.
Also read anything and everything you can on swinging rules and the side of the page has a great INFO section
under *Information*.
I would also say you should go slow and then decide what you want, cause this lifestyle makes or breaks a relationship,even some LONG standing*secure* marriages !!!
Even worse is that little *green monster* jealousy!!! IT happens to the best of us at times.
I would go for the club experience first, there you can just sit and observe and enjoy a night out, not really join if you do not want to, before jumping the gun to a more intimate social/play gathering.
You will find all the clubs listed in the left side of your page under *Entertainment*
Enjoy your be ready for it.
As newbies we can vouch for Pharaohs. We were invited by friends for PFC's 13th birthday bash and it was great, no pressure, expectations or the likes. The décor and setting is awesome and the "woman's" rules makes for a relaxing and fun environment, it was a great night and a lot of fun. Certainly our new club of preference.
Guess you will hear this a million times but open and HONEST communication is the key here, you are here as a couple and you need to be honest about your feelings and concerns right from the start. Just letting yourselves be honest about your true feelings and your agreed boundaries is such a liberating feeling and something we recommend to the entire population, it's THAT important! Make each other the most important part of your team and you will never look back.
Take care and have fun!
I&S
)then you (and / or your relationship) are definately not made for this lifestyle. You have to be able to "put the breaks on" without your relationship falling apart or your partner going into meltdown and you guys ending up in a fight - if you can't do this in your relationship, if he doesn't have that level of respect for you, to respect and accept when you say no, it means no, and give you the room to work through stuff at your own pace, then your relationship will NOT survive this in the end (though most likely you'll have SOME fun in the process, someone is bound to end up in tears... most likely you)
Women have a lot more unpacking and reframing to do from their social programming, to "allow" themselves to really enjoy this kind of lifestyle. It takes much longer on average for a woman to overcome her 'default settings' to get to the point of really participating and enjoying herself in the lifestyle. (And boys get impatient!)
Even fewer and further between are the women who are geniunely self-confident enough, to have few enough insecurities about themselves and their partner's committment to them, in order to fully participate... Honestly this is not a lifestyle I would have participated in with "just" a boyfriend. you partner has to be fully committed to your well being to really get into this - you NEED to be able to rely fully on and trust completely in each other.
The truth is - I've only found three women who fit this description in all my lifestyle experiences... and one is just now ready to progress beyond "camming" with other people after a few years!
It took us almost 2 years to get to actual site meetings and only now after 4 years have we finally found people that we are really enjoying being with. We are the "friends-first" type of swingers - there are also "stranger sex" types who prefer hooking up randomly or at parties wearing masks or doing things like dogging - where there is no social aspect.
And we are in our 30/40's with a strong marriage and enviable dynamic which our vanilla friends are openly jealous of.
So in a nutshell - I hope this is something that brings you much pleasure and amazing experiences but DO NOT allow anyone to push you faster or further than you are ready to go. If you do - you will end up miserable, angry, broken and hurt. BUT remember - us agony aunties (and uncles) are always here to answer questions !
Licks and Laces...Lee 
