Hi There another newbie here, asking some advise

3 Jun 2014

Hi There everyone, We are very new to the lifestyle and want to try it out but we don't know the do's and dont's of it all, so i thought wel why not just ask, so here goes: My wife and I have a mutual fantasy we've been sharing the last few years privately between us, we are now ready to take it to the next level, the fantasy is along the lines of me watching her be with another man, so.. she has her eye on one of our single friends, I'm a little apprehensive about it being a friend because i dont want to ruin a friendship or have the friendship turn into anything more, my wife says she feels comfortable with him, and because he is the "badboy" type with tattoos and things (lol) so here is my questions if i may ask is this a big no..no? is there any sort of guidelines of what to do and not to do? (sorry i just cant think of a better way to put it, lol|) Any Advise would be most welcome Thank you

3 Jun 2014

First off read as much about swinging rules as you guys possibly can Google or read the Forums just scroll back and you will find a lot of input from different couples and profiles on site and from is a topic that comes up frequently. There is also some guidelines on the left hand of your main page under Guidelines. My few cents Communicate and MAKE rules both of you have to follow. Have a secret word both of you can use if you are starting to feel uncomfortable. LEAVE all jealousy behind, if there is EVEN a HINT of it somewhere..it is a negative emotion and any sexual interactions should be stopped or not even start. Know you are going to feel *odd* the first time you see your spouse (or she you)having sex and ENJOYING it with someone else,it will make you/her wonder if you/she is okay in is normal though. Always discuss all events and things that happened if it was negative. But go and enjoy your fantasy and see if you guys are ready for the lifestyle not everyone is and nothing wrong with that either. Many people like to go to some swing club first to observe what is going on, maybe that is the first step, many again think one on one meets is the way to go...you have to decide for yourself. Enjoy your journey guys.!!!!

4 Jun 2014

My halwe sent op hierdie vraag en eerste ek stem honderd persent saam met Pib. Maar glo my, een ding verloor ons partykeer uit die oog, ons dink ons praat met mekaar. Kommunikasie is 'n baie snaakse ding, ons hoor partykeer wat ons wil hoor of se dinge wat ons glo die ander persoon wil hoor. Ek is van mening hierdie is die belangrikste stukkie raad, hier glo ek selfs detail is baie belangrik, want die persoon nie betrokke nie is deel van die ondervinding "Always discuss all events and things that happened if it was negative." My eie ondervinding is dat vroue nie maklik gesels oor hul behoefte en ondervindinge nie en ek veralgemeen nie, net my eie ondervinding, want vroue dink ons mans weet presies hoe ?????: giveup:

4 Jun 2014

Regards playing with friends... There is definitely a higher risk playing with friends, but not because they are friends necessarily, but because IF they aren't already part of the lifestyle, they aren't going into the experience with those parameters or 'rules of conduct' in mind. My hubby often suggests people we already know, but I'm not super keen because unless these people are part of the lifestyle, who understand the principles and rules of leisure sex activities, you may very well find something of a inappropriate connection delveloping. I suspect (from my professional experience) that you'll find that bringing 'non-swinger' females into your play would hold higher risk than bringing 'non-swinger' guys in, mainly because it's generally (as a default setting) easier for guys to see sex as something unemotional (obviously there are exceptions on both ends). That said we have discovered friends on the site (existing friends discovered as members here) whom we have connected with and may yet play with smile

without any concern as to anything being ruined or changed for us. But I agree - read as much as you can about the lifestyle, AND VERY IMPORTANT!!!! you must talk to each other until it feels like you're talking the issues to death - mainly so that it's SUPER easy to talk to each other when and if something goes wrong. The MOST important rule to remember is NEVER expect your partner to 'take one for the team' - that will destroy your relationship and your fun. Have a code or a key word or someway that you can let your partner know that you want out NOW. And agree before hand that you will ALWAYS respect your partners indication that they want out, immediately! Agree that you will NEVER ignore the signal.

9 Jun 2014

Our very first 3 some was with a good friend, he was also one of those bad boy types my missus loves being a cop in the then Riot Police. Anyway, best experience we ever had and that opened the doors for us to enter this lifestyle. It must be said the whole experience happened unexpectedly and was unplanned. But very importantly, take note of what Pib and all the above said. We were both open to the idea without any jealousy issues. This experience happened 15 years ago and we are still very active in the lifestyle and loving it.