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Etiquette
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Would like to know that as well if someone can elaborate for us?
Oh dear - just because I have had a couple of enjoyable encounters, and written about them, now I am an "expert"... Thanks, Gerrie!! 
Was hoping to sit back and read what the REAL experts (the couples who "perform") would have to say. But maybe they will respond to this...
It needs to be clear that Dogging and Voyeurism are two different activities! I think some people sometimes confuse them. Voyeurism is where someone (the watcher, the "Peeping Tom") watches a couple having sex, where that couple is not intending to be watched, and probably doesn't even want to be watched. This could be done from a distance, say through binocs, or even close up if the watcher can get close enough undetected. Essentially, the watcher is not really welcome. In Dogging, however, there is an element of consent, where the couple having sex either wants to be watched or doesn't mind being watched, and allows or even encourages spectators, who may then even be allowed to "participate" in some way (joining in physically through touching, licking, wanking, etc.).
In my view, there are two "forms" of dogging. The first is "traditional" dogging, such as originally developed and practiced for eg. in the UK, where nothing is pre-arranged, it happens spontaneously at suitable sites where folk feel safe enough to indulge in public sex, and it's all about "just being in the right place at the right time". Then there's "arranged" dogging, where a couple wanting to be watched can let it be known that they are up for it (by eg. advertising on a site such as this), and then make arrangements with would-be watchers to be at a designated place at a designated time.
For "arranged dogging", meeting up and the associated etiquette should be quite simple. You may even have exchanged cellphone numbers or BBM pins during your arrangement, or described vehicle make and colour, or some other way of knowing who you are looking for. You pitch up at the pre-arranged venue at the pre-arranged time, and look for the folk you are meeting with. You phone them or drive over to the car you think is theirs, and say "hi, are you .......?", and take it from there. Or else you have some other form of "identifier", such as Thailand's feathers, or the seashells on the bonnet, or the waterbottle on the dashboard..., as a means to announce your identity / availability, and wait for someone to recognise the symbol and make the contact.
In "traditional dogging", meeting up can be a bit more tricky. The exhibitionistic couple would always be aware that there are or could be guys out there wanting to watch and maybe trying to watch. If they are keen for dogging, the couple then needs to signal in some way to those hanging around, that its okay to come closer and watch. This can be done by flicking headlights, turning and leaving on the car's interior light at night, or by waving / beckoning during the day (or they could just write a bloody big sign that says "we're here for dogging" and put it in their car window!!!). So the watcher needs to be close enough for the couple to know that they are there, and close enough to be able to "read the signal" when it comes.
The "etiquette" part probably lies in the watcher knowing when and how to approach, and when not to. The couple needs to know that you are there, and that you are interested in what they are doing. If they want you to watch, they can call you over. If they don't want you to watch, and you simply walk on over (you are most likely being an unwelcome Voyeur, not a Dogger!), you will possibly interrupt their play and they will leave in a big hurry, or they will just stop what they are doing when they are aware of you approaching, or you could even get a 9mm waved in your face or worse, if they really feel threatened by your presence!
If they don't mind you watching, or were wanting you to watch, they will continue with their play, allowing you to watch from a distance with which they are comfortable. If they really want to, and don't feel at all threatened, they might even invite you to get closer and participate to a greater extent.
I believe that being successful will depend on your being "available", but not pushy and aggressive in your approach. It's about being brave enough to approach, but also polite enough to respect people's right to privacy, and their likely nervousness at being exposed in public. It's about being discreet, and not drawing the whole world's attention to what they are up to! Be friendly and respectful in your approach. You need to defer to THEIR requirements! It's about THEM, not YOU! You can only be "dogging" if they permit it (otherwise you are going to be sitting there on your own as a "solitary wanker"...). The exhibitionist couple needs to feel comfortable, and not threatened in any way by your approach and by your presence. And their degree of security / confidence or insecurity / nervousness will vary from couple to couple, and also on the site-conditions at the venue (which is why it's always a good idea to assess the security aspects of the site, and stay away from dodgy areas!).
Now I've only experienced this, and written about it, from the "watcher's" perspective. So I really would value feedback from couples that have actually DONE this! - couples who have been involved in actual dogging as the "exhibitionist" or participating couple. How do you know when it is "safe" to invite someone over? What makes you instinctively "trust" or distrust someone you don't know from a bar of soap? Do you prefer the "thrill / risk" of "traditional" dogging, or have you used the safer "arranged" dogging route? Have you had any "bad" experiences, and what were the warning signs that you should have recognised?
Let's hear the feedback, please?
Was hoping to sit back and read what the REAL experts (the couples who "perform") would have to say. But maybe they will respond to this...
It needs to be clear that Dogging and Voyeurism are two different activities! I think some people sometimes confuse them. Voyeurism is where someone (the watcher, the "Peeping Tom") watches a couple having sex, where that couple is not intending to be watched, and probably doesn't even want to be watched. This could be done from a distance, say through binocs, or even close up if the watcher can get close enough undetected. Essentially, the watcher is not really welcome. In Dogging, however, there is an element of consent, where the couple having sex either wants to be watched or doesn't mind being watched, and allows or even encourages spectators, who may then even be allowed to "participate" in some way (joining in physically through touching, licking, wanking, etc.).
In my view, there are two "forms" of dogging. The first is "traditional" dogging, such as originally developed and practiced for eg. in the UK, where nothing is pre-arranged, it happens spontaneously at suitable sites where folk feel safe enough to indulge in public sex, and it's all about "just being in the right place at the right time". Then there's "arranged" dogging, where a couple wanting to be watched can let it be known that they are up for it (by eg. advertising on a site such as this), and then make arrangements with would-be watchers to be at a designated place at a designated time.
For "arranged dogging", meeting up and the associated etiquette should be quite simple. You may even have exchanged cellphone numbers or BBM pins during your arrangement, or described vehicle make and colour, or some other way of knowing who you are looking for. You pitch up at the pre-arranged venue at the pre-arranged time, and look for the folk you are meeting with. You phone them or drive over to the car you think is theirs, and say "hi, are you .......?", and take it from there. Or else you have some other form of "identifier", such as Thailand's feathers, or the seashells on the bonnet, or the waterbottle on the dashboard..., as a means to announce your identity / availability, and wait for someone to recognise the symbol and make the contact.
In "traditional dogging", meeting up can be a bit more tricky. The exhibitionistic couple would always be aware that there are or could be guys out there wanting to watch and maybe trying to watch. If they are keen for dogging, the couple then needs to signal in some way to those hanging around, that its okay to come closer and watch. This can be done by flicking headlights, turning and leaving on the car's interior light at night, or by waving / beckoning during the day (or they could just write a bloody big sign that says "we're here for dogging" and put it in their car window!!!). So the watcher needs to be close enough for the couple to know that they are there, and close enough to be able to "read the signal" when it comes.
The "etiquette" part probably lies in the watcher knowing when and how to approach, and when not to. The couple needs to know that you are there, and that you are interested in what they are doing. If they want you to watch, they can call you over. If they don't want you to watch, and you simply walk on over (you are most likely being an unwelcome Voyeur, not a Dogger!), you will possibly interrupt their play and they will leave in a big hurry, or they will just stop what they are doing when they are aware of you approaching, or you could even get a 9mm waved in your face or worse, if they really feel threatened by your presence!
If they don't mind you watching, or were wanting you to watch, they will continue with their play, allowing you to watch from a distance with which they are comfortable. If they really want to, and don't feel at all threatened, they might even invite you to get closer and participate to a greater extent.
I believe that being successful will depend on your being "available", but not pushy and aggressive in your approach. It's about being brave enough to approach, but also polite enough to respect people's right to privacy, and their likely nervousness at being exposed in public. It's about being discreet, and not drawing the whole world's attention to what they are up to! Be friendly and respectful in your approach. You need to defer to THEIR requirements! It's about THEM, not YOU! You can only be "dogging" if they permit it (otherwise you are going to be sitting there on your own as a "solitary wanker"...). The exhibitionist couple needs to feel comfortable, and not threatened in any way by your approach and by your presence. And their degree of security / confidence or insecurity / nervousness will vary from couple to couple, and also on the site-conditions at the venue (which is why it's always a good idea to assess the security aspects of the site, and stay away from dodgy areas!).
Now I've only experienced this, and written about it, from the "watcher's" perspective. So I really would value feedback from couples that have actually DONE this! - couples who have been involved in actual dogging as the "exhibitionist" or participating couple. How do you know when it is "safe" to invite someone over? What makes you instinctively "trust" or distrust someone you don't know from a bar of soap? Do you prefer the "thrill / risk" of "traditional" dogging, or have you used the safer "arranged" dogging route? Have you had any "bad" experiences, and what were the warning signs that you should have recognised?
Let's hear the feedback, please? HI guys
@Redbruce you note "voyeurism" is where the people being watched are not consenting...
I don't think this is voyeurism - I think this is "peeping" and it's illegal and it's something you can have a charged laid against you for - by those being watched.
Now there are a lot of people ticking that little "voyeurism" box on their profiles and I'm certain that none of them mean that they sneak around looking for people they can watch, I am very sure, that like my husband, they all intend to indicate that they are after something more along the lines of the dictionary meaning below:
World English Dictionary
voyeur (vwa????, French vwajœr)
— n
a person who obtains sexual pleasure or excitement from the observation of someone undressing, having intercourse, etc.
I think "voyeurism" is simply defined as "watching for sexual pleasure" and it really doesn't say anything about those who are being watched. If you're lucky enough, as a voyeur, to find the ultimate treat: a sexual exhibitionist, then you've got it made my friend!
Dogging I think; talks more of the practice of the interaction of those two types of people, usually in a public or semi-public environment, upping the tension and "danger" ante. The dictionary definition of Dogging does not place particular emphasis on the 'watcher' or act of 'watching'.
dogging (?d????)
— n
slang ( Brit ) the practice of carrying out or watching sexual activities in semi-secluded locations such as parks or car parks, often arranged by e-mail or text messages
Therefore those who take part in doggingin the role of 'watcher' are by definition voyeurs
Sorry - I was channeling my English teacher there
@Redbruce you note "voyeurism" is where the people being watched are not consenting...
I don't think this is voyeurism - I think this is "peeping" and it's illegal and it's something you can have a charged laid against you for - by those being watched.
Now there are a lot of people ticking that little "voyeurism" box on their profiles and I'm certain that none of them mean that they sneak around looking for people they can watch, I am very sure, that like my husband, they all intend to indicate that they are after something more along the lines of the dictionary meaning below:
World English Dictionary
voyeur (vwa????, French vwajœr)
— n
a person who obtains sexual pleasure or excitement from the observation of someone undressing, having intercourse, etc.
I think "voyeurism" is simply defined as "watching for sexual pleasure" and it really doesn't say anything about those who are being watched. If you're lucky enough, as a voyeur, to find the ultimate treat: a sexual exhibitionist, then you've got it made my friend!
Dogging I think; talks more of the practice of the interaction of those two types of people, usually in a public or semi-public environment, upping the tension and "danger" ante. The dictionary definition of Dogging does not place particular emphasis on the 'watcher' or act of 'watching'.
dogging (?d????)
— n
slang ( Brit ) the practice of carrying out or watching sexual activities in semi-secluded locations such as parks or car parks, often arranged by e-mail or text messages
Therefore those who take part in doggingin the role of 'watcher' are by definition voyeurs
Sorry - I was channeling my English teacher there
I am quite happy to stand corrected! (so long as I can keep watching....?) When one takes the trouble to actually read the definitions of the two words, it make sense! (I am frequently guilty of thinking I "know" something, and then spouting...).
Good that we have knowledgeable moderators to set the record straight, then! Tx LeeEC
When one takes the trouble to actually read the definitions of the two words, it make sense! (I am frequently guilty of thinking I "know" something, and then spouting...).
Good that we have knowledgeable moderators to set the record straight, then! Tx LeeEC 