We used to swing as a couple for a couple of years, my wife lost interest but I am still going strong. Even after I have been in the lifestyle I still struggle to hook up witu ladies and couples...why is swinging single ladies ok but not males?
Because most single guys are on sites like this to get a quick fuck and aren't here for the swinging per se. A lot join expecting woman to fall onto their laps and I think it's this mindset that throws a lot if them off and then they start acting rude and reinforcing a stereotype that single guys are here for the wrong reasons.
Consider the site to be a pub, everyone is there for a little action.
A couple walks in, their focus is firstly to meet other couples, they open to meeting single men and woman but their main objective is couples.
Inside the pub 5% are single woman, 35% couples and 60% single men (of which 80% are married and cheating). By the time they hit the bar, she's had her butt groped 15 times, been told 10 times she's too fat, too thin, her boobs are too big or small, and she's a "stuck up bitch" because she hasn't fallen an the floor with her legs in the air. 20 guys have been respectful but they all shouting at once, all saying the same thing " I'm a good guy, hung like a horse and will give you the best lay of your life," not one of then is standing out above the rest. Been crowding, insulted and feeling a little claustrophobic the couple responds with "Please leave us alone we not interested in single men".
Knowing there are some good single guys in the pub, but still focused on their main objective of finding a couple. They keep an eye out, but now they looking for that guy that walks up to the pub, orders a drink, smiles, chats and jokes to everyone around him, makes eye contact with the wife, chats to the husband, lets the sexual tension build while mentally stimulating the wife.
Guys the odds are against you, she can have her pick from 60% of the pub. You need to stand out from the crowd, stimulate the wife, even if its about the sex she still wants to feel special. Prove to the husband you not going to abuse his wife or treat her like a whore. Its the guy that makes himself available, shows he's interested yet allows the couple space to find him, that's going to win.
It might be about the sex, but its not about bed hopping. There is no difference between getting lucky on site or in a pub, you need to do the spade work before you can reap the harvest.
Wise words, Mike! And good analogy.
I could not have said it better, well done Mike! xoxo
I do agree, the problem is there is a differance between a single male(NO WIFE/GIRLFRIEND) and a married single guy that swings. Single guys are here to find nooky, but so are the rest of the people on this site! I dont know, but when me and the misses used to swing together I prefered a meaningless sex 3some with another bloke because I knew I would never see him again.
she can not run away with your best friend sort of thing you know?
dont know..was I stupid
oh yes.....something else, if a chick starts talking dirty, telling all the men how she would like this and that and the next thing...then its so hot and erotic, both chicks and dicks bounce up and down to chat to her, but let one guy do that and hace a look at the comments... geeeees then there is hell to plat!
anyway, I know that is how life works lol! Just yanking a couple of chains he he!
Mike, that was one of the best descriptions I've ever seen. You hit the nail on the head. Honestly, that's how it feels on the site. When we have parties, I am considered off limits unless my partner and I agree and mood dependent to play with others. The comments we get shoo.
*PS. Sofistikitty and co.
Well said mike
And to any single guys reading this, if you want to score then you need to fit in the lifestyle. Go to the meet and greets and be yourself. Have fun, chat, flirt whatever, treat it like drinks with friends and at the end of the night don't kill it by doing something stupid like saying your place or mine. Give them your contacts and let them go home and talk. As mike said the biggest problem is pushy guys, so play it cool at those meet and greets and you should be fine.
If only there was a badge you could put on your profile for positive feedback, something you submit to admin and then they ask the relevant couple if the experience was positive. Do it 3 times and you get a trusted badge.
:lol: 
