Where have all the good guys gone

They have been chased away by certain types ofcouples and ladies.... 

FIRST OFF: this is NOT a generalisation of all couples and ladies.

SECONDLY: I know there are very few "good guys" out there who knows how to behave.

But to start off my rant: three weeks ago I started chatting to a couple. They wanted to experience having another guy in the bedroom and I was quite keen on joining them. The conversations with hubby went well, photos exchanged, and a group chat on was started. Over two weeks we had a blast, sorted out do's and dont's, mentally explored fantasies. 

I was going to be in their area and after informing them THEY set a date for our meeting. They were very excited and I felt quite honored that they would allow me to share in such an intense experience with them.

Then it came crashing down. Four days before the date THEY set, they suddenly told me they had a function that they couldn't get out of and that they won't be able to make it. After that they deleted the chat group without as much as a goodbye and I have not heard from them since.

Now we are all adults and free to change our minds whenever we want. What irks the living daylight out of me is the attitude with which I was "cast aside" like an unwanted toy!

I have been respectful and honest with them the whole time. I only communicated with them via the chat group and never one-on-one with any of them oit of respect for their relationship (after al, I am not trying to steal her away from him). I never made a nuiscance of myself and only chatted with them when they had time and initiated conversation.

Bearing that in mind, why do some couples (and ladies) treat guys the way they do? As if a single guy is a toy there for their pleasure and not a human being that treated them with respect and honesty? I am asking myself at this stage whether it is still worthwhile stating within this community?

Quite often you read about the lack of "good guys" out there. Here I am, I have been involved in this lifestyle for a number of years, I have learnt how to behave from my experiences in the Hotwife and Cuckhold as well as a number of threesome situations. I have learnt that I am a guest, I am being invited to share in something special. I am not entitled to demand anything from a couple as it is mostly about helping them with their fantasies and exploration.

But instances like these upsets me a lot. After giving someone everything they wanted, respecting them and putting their needs first, I get left without even a goodbye. Instances like these causes the "good guys" to say "stuff it", they leave the community and the only guys remaining are the bad apples.

But then again, perhaps the days of being respectful and honest are over. Perhaps having a bad apple join your threesome is what couples want these days?

That is my rant that I couldn't keep inside anymore.

Hmmm, look Dude, point taken, but let's look at some stats here (without any guarantee as to accuracy): Ratio of single guys wanting to play with couples versus couples wanting to play with single guys: 100:1 ! ! ! ! Assuming that 1 out of 2 single guys are genuine and that 1 out of 2 couples in the aforementioned demographic are genuine that means that YOU have a 400:1 chance of hooking up ! !  Secondly, and actually more important than the above, you need to accept that in the "couples playing with a single guy" scenario, it is invariably the lady that calls the shots, SHE decides who gets to fuck her while hubby watches, so you are right back there in the singles scenario that you are so desperately trying to avoid: Having to pass her 'unreasonably rigid' standards just to get laid !!!!!  So, moving along, the only way (that I can see) that makes YOU worthy of her hallowed snatch is the fact that numerous other girls let you play there ! So what you need to do to score with couples on good ole swingin'heavnin is to post pics on yer profile showing diverse chicks (meaning 4 or more) enjoying your carnal endeavors in as many ways as humanly possible.... (the more kinky the better).... please note pics of your sister in the shower don't count for much! That gives a clear indication to the lady you are trying to target (be she part of a couple or not) that you have been accepted by her peer group as a "guy worth fucking" as opposed to just another 'fucking worthless guy' ...........

guess you didn't quite get my post wolfman . If they decide to change their mind, I am ok with that. That is not what my rant is about. It is the way in which the changed decision  has been handled that I have difficulty in comprehending. How can you just say (and I quote) "Sorry we can't make it anymore." Then just cut off communication without even saying bye? That is just rude.

As for the pics of me woth a multitude of women....I'm glad if that works for you, but it is definitely not who I am. Yes, I do have those pics and will share it should an interested party wish to see it, but using it as advertising material or clickbait is definitely not my style. :)

Got your post completely, as I said: your chance of hooking up successfully is 1 in 400, so the chance of being 'led on and dumped' is at least 20 times greater, which means that you would have to go through your above-mentioned experience at least 10 times before you have a pleasurable encounter with a couple along the lines of what you had in mind, isn't it??? As for my second point, it is an indisputable fact that the approval of other women is highly influential in determining the receptivity (the ease with which the thighs spread) of a particular female in response to a particular male! But maybe you've just never been in the situation where you're in with the super-hottie and every other chick you run into wants to show you what they've been keeping from their boyfriend, and a little while later you've split with the hottie and are obviously single they suddenly can't remember your name or where you met, let alone what the topic of the conversation was..............

I'm not worried about hooking up, it comes down to common decency. If a couple expects a guy to be respectful, decent and have some manners, why is it not given in return?

bosman they have so many men to choose from..that a lot of these woman loose touch with reality especially the single woman...they dont get this kind of attention in real life...we have the same problem with couples...there are very few swingers on the site...word of mouth seems to work so much better

From n cpls point of view. 

We have tried the single male route and can tell you 99.9% are fake. We know there is that .1% out there that we would enjoy having in our circle but it is just tooo much  work. The ratio is to high. 

As above said word of mouth seems to work the best and we are blessed with great cpls. 

In a more constructive vein, in light of the above & regarding "qualified membership" for single males on this site, how'bout this: to qualify for membership as a 'single male', the applicant needs to read the book "SWINGLAND" by Daniel Stern, and needs to successfully complete a quizz based on the book, it explains it all. In fact this whole thread wouldn't be here if the originator had read the book .....

You may (or may not)have a point there, but a thought springs yo mind immediately, . . . . . what about individuality? 

The problem with "self help" books is they are generally based on one persons ideas, and more often than not, said person lives in a different continent that has completely different values. . . . . 

And no, I have not read the book ( hence the may OR may not) 

Not that you in particular need to read it, if you did you would agree with me: It's an intelligent analysis of the 'lifestyle' from the point of a single guy (by no means an oil painting) who had the stamina to see it through to success, yes in the US but all of the advice he offers applies equally to ole swingin'heavnin and the local scenario in general, if it was 'out of context' I would never have mentioned it .......

there is a lot of wankers

dise this is alot of reading but i agree with you. A simple goodbye goes a long way

I think that some couples will treat single guys so disrespectfully because, although there are some really respectable couples out there...there are also couple who have no integrity at all. (I do believe that both single guys/girls and couples are guilty of this)

Another reason in my opinion is because there are so many single guys out there and because the couples get literally bombarded with so many unwanted messages that the majority of single guys have made a nuisance of themselves, therefore creating a bad reputation for the singles. I always try my best to see things from the couples perspective. Although a lack of integrity is not acceptable...even a high integrity couple will occasionally have moments where they are so frustrated with the badly behaved singles that they may be rude to a new message only to find when it's too late that they may have chased away one of the good few good ones ☺ However, this can be recovered with diplomacy and integrity. This makes it tough for the good single guys but paradoxically it can work in your favour because when you do meet a couple who are really decent people, they will identify you very quickly as a good quality person and you will be treated like gold because such gems are so rare to find☺

From my experience, searching for couples is not the most effective way to find a couple for the single guy. Waiting for an invitation form a couple has had the best results for me. One needs to be patient but they do come from time to time. Needless to say I do still write the odd message to couples that appeal to me but is is not often that I do this.

Having a well written and complete profile with clear pictures goes a long way. No pictures at all or no pictures available to public view will not be attracting views and very unlikely any actual profile reads. 

This is where going to a club regularly is a good idea. Everyone is verified and know the rules before entering into the swinging playground, at least this is how it works at the club I attend from time to time in midrand. The moderators have been making very sure that those who don't belong there are weeded out so that those who have the best intentions can enjoy the community together.

On the web it is far too easy to lie about yourself. I have had dates with single girls who in their profile gallery have photos that are possibly five to ten years old where they were slim and when I meet them for a drink, they are 4 or 5 dress sizes bigger - this statement is not to discriminate against big beautiful woman at all - what I am saying here is that whatever it is that you are advertising, please be exactly that when it's time for the meet, it's the right thing to do and I have heard that single guys are guilty too. 

There is a couple who have been visiting me for one and a half years and on the first meet, they were the highly respectful couple that I had hoped to meet. She was not only true to her pictures but she was even more beautiful in person. The husband is a terrific person and very comfortable with me and our arrangement. I think there are many couples and single of good quality out there. You just need to persevere a bit and ask the right questions to make sure they are who they say they are before a meeting is arranged.

So one does need to ask all the right questions to make sure that a profile is true to it's self and when you start asking the right questions and a single / couple shuts you down, that may be because you where getting too close to the truth. If I have to choose, I would prefer a "shut down" to actually meeting people who have not been honest with me.

There appears to be some synergy between this debate and the other heated one "no married men"

Quote by wolfman
In a more constructive vein, in light of the above & regarding "qualified membership" for single males on this site, how'bout this: to qualify for membership as a 'single male', the applicant needs to read the book "SWINGLAND" by Daniel Stern, and needs to successfully complete a quizz based on the book, it explains it all. In fact this whole thread wouldn't be here if the originator had read the book .....

 I got the book. Now on page 83, and already my perspective has changed...thank you for that tip Wolfman!