So, in our search for couples we are coming across a lot of profiles where the man is very eager, and the woman not so much.
My question is how far do you go in trying to convince (for lack of a better word) the woman to go for it? I know everyone has a level of fear when getting into this lifestyle, but they got to the point where they set up a profile, so the interest is there.
Sometimes it feels like we've gone from giving advice or sharing our experiences to actually trying to convince them to give it a try.
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Where do you draw the line?
I totally agree with you as we had the exact same problem when we started chatting on this site.
I put it to you...at least 50% of the "couples" profiles have no intention from the females side,either because she does not know about the profile or because there is no female at all. The males behind these profiles have fantasies about some of the things on their profiles.
With that said I have to admit that we are new to the lifestyle and yes we are extremely nervous to go out and meet these new possible play friends but we have come up with a solution that suits us and has worked for us a few we see a profile we are interested in we make contact with the couple or person,if they are interested straight away we suggest that my hubby meets up with the hubby from the other couple for a drink(apparently those conversations are quite interesting). when he comes home he either says yes he feels comfortable and we take it from there, if not we tell the couple that there is no interest in pursuing the matter.
If the person chatting to us cannot meet within a more or less a month or keep postponing then we take it as its just a male behind the "couple" and carry on looking for someone else.
I might have strayed off of your question but it is very close topics. So to answer your question directly,if you need to convince anyone then there is something wrong and chances are nothing will materialize.
Orgasminator
Personally my approach is to meet up for drinks with no intent to take it further than that. I sometimes feel that some couples have this vision that if we meet up it will be me at their place expecting something immediately and that's the wrong approach.
I say the best thing is to meet for drinks at a restaurant or something and just chat, after that you can go both go home and talk things over but the idea is to create as little pressure as possible. Maybe they are just nervous and taking baby steps is the best. Plus I like to imagine that the first meet determines if there is a connection which if present makes future meets easier and more fun.
So my advice is to not talk about the lifestyle and just meet as friends, maybe that might help swing her off the fence. My best first playdates with a new couple was after we met for drinks 2 weeks earlier and just talked, otherwise your just nervous about these new people.
totally agree
we have been in the lifestyle almost a year, and we as serious swingers are fed up with these a holes. not to talk about al the chancers and fakers here. we are here for one thing and that doesn't mean bullsh1t. that's why there are 2 pics on our profile that indicate that we are full on doing this.
Orgasminator
Quote by jackd1112
totally agree
we have been in the lifestyle almost a year, and we as serious swingers are fed up with these a holes. not to talk about al the chancers and fakers here. we are here for one thing and that doesn't mean bullsh1t. that's why there are 2 pics on our profile that indicate that we are full on doing this.
Lol, I think you have more than 2, sorry I just had to perve there. Sexy pics btw
Quote by jessncraig
...when we see a profile we are interested in we make contact with the couple or person,if they are interested straight away we suggest that my hubby meets up with the hubby from the other couple for a drink(apparently those conversations are quite interesting). when he comes home he either says yes he feels comfortable and we take it from there, if not we tell the couple that there is no interest in pursuing the matter...
excellent plan - we do something similar though, perhaps not so deliberately - she (I) meets socially with the female of the 'couple'... that tends to weed them out quite quickly
The reason I ask, is we met a couple a while back. Chatted the whole afternoon. Great people, really good connection. She was open and really interested in our previous experiences.
A week later we arranged a playdate. She was really into the idea and sent messages to both myself and hubby (naughty ones too). They arrived, we had dinner, we were sitting chatting and the next thing she was in tears. Absolutely horrifying! And we hadn't even done anything!
We assured her that we didn't expect anything and left it at that.
