When you find yourself at that point of getting down to it with a new couple / single etc, what, if anything would scare you to the point of actually stopping the intended play?
I think things like blatant hygiene issue would stop us all, but I'm talking physical things. We more often than not have a soft meet before play, and we all wear clothes, which cover many things, some of them are good things, but often there are the not so good.
Is there any physical attribute that would stop you playing ? Say a scar? or a slightly bigger belly than the clothes indicted?
Don't think so, that's why we chat or met before hand or at a party you chat a lot and at that stage every one normally nude.
Hygiene will always be on the top of the list, and believe there will be a shower or bath nearby if you think you not fresh to play, because that boils down to respect.
But belly and scarce would not stopping the action.
Sadly I know what SDMR is asking here....
I know about one couple where people really freak out ,then the lady told them or showed them her amputation, chat buds suddenly went quiet and others stopped coming around.
I know some men who has problems with erections when meeting for play, something small like talking to much will set a negative motion even if the ladies are build like depends from person to person I think.
When two people connect firstly with their minds I think body flaws will not really be an issue.
Maybe cause I am so used to naked bodies in all sizes shapes and condition I never freak out. I take the person for whom I started liking when I decided to go for it and offer to meet for a play.
Which does not happen anymore really,sometimes I do make an exception but only to special people these days. But most of the time I GET TURNED DOWN anyway.....sad yeah?
For myself I tell everyone how I look BUT know they sorta never believe me, but that is their problem. I can dress and leave with out hard feelings.
The subject matter of the movie 'Crash' (1996, James Spader, Holly Hunter) was about people being sexually turned on by the scars left by severe car accidents but I guess that kind of thing is more apt for the other site we are on PIB
Our absolute turn offs would be bad smells (such as often found on Smokers), unsafe conditions/behavior such as open wounds (as described in the Forum topic: 'Scary??') and personality issues. Also, it must be good for all involved, as no one should take one for the team.
As PIB mentioned, for us personality and ability are key and not so much issues with others looks or defects as we have our own. The scales would be tipped greatly by the persons approach to their own issues, such as scars from medical procedures but they should make you aware about it beforehand.
We found that people placing too much emphasis on looks often have greater issues of their own.
We know people with profiles that are impressive with the most amazing pics but it is merely window dressing. As much as they try, they just cannot get this lifestyle to work for them.
There seems to be too much emphasis on 'Barbies' getting it on with 'Barbies' and people on this site are missing out on mind blowing experiences.
Form my understanding Swinging is supposed to be about experiencing variety and one should not exclude shape, size and dare I say some unusual physical attribute.
One thing that haunts me:
We like interacting with people that are new to swinging, as we love the excitement of first time experiences.
After spending a lot of time getting to know an older couple, we finally got it on and it was awesome, as the lady in particular was in ecstasy. As things progressed, in spite of their age, it became one of our best sessions, as we loved the reaction we got from them.
The gentleman kept on urging for more. Then he became quiet and left for the bathroom. He never came back. He suddenly perceived that he could never achieve that with her and he could not handle it.
That is not what we set out to do and I'm still crushed by the damage we have caused.
Sometimes people don't realise the effect of their choices till the damage is done, so I would urge all to be mindful of others and be careful not to rush into something they are not ready for, as in that case everyone will lose out.
What scares me? I am not as experienced as I should be so I answer with what I think will scare me... Guilt! I always wonder if a meet ever happened (prior to a few days ago), if I would feel like a dog afterwards. Another scary thought is disease, always at the back of my mind...
For most of my "adult" life, I have always had a negative view on public displays of affection. NO, I am not talking about walking hand in hand or a little kiss here or there with your partner, but more than this to me (note, I said "to me") is unnecessary.
Met with people once where the lady sat right up close to me and was touching my back and arms and legs the whole time, shit like that freaks me out. Needless to say, I declined the second meet.
Biggest put off is offer eagerness and persons attitude (especially guys) towards swinging like the common mistake is- women are not getting it good from partner/home or she's promiscuous/slutty that's why she swings. So they don't even find the need to flirt or try and make a good impression. Its more just like steek en verby.
Also odour and appearance. You know you can be big, fat, bald whatever but look clean and take care of your self. And hygiene its amazing how so many ppl just take this for granted its like totally shocking and disgusting. I've been there, on like a number of occasions... Was a group thing and wow this one dude didn't trim/groom and smelt like death oh my gawd!!! Suffice to say he left cos no one would touch him. There was one time also I walked out and went home when one dude bit me when he was down there WTf lol
now im keen to know what sort of vibe has lee picked up from my profile ...:scared:
:haha: