The majority of us on SH seem to agree that, for the most part, folk who are on this site are open-minded, sexually adventurous and promiscuous (unless otherwise indicated on their profiles). Although the aforementioned statement may hold true for most of us; why do certain individuals seem to think that it then also automatically follows that: no manners are required?
Let me elaborate:
I/we often get mailed or whispered, in chat, by the said culprits who start the conversation by saying "hi"; which is followed by a compliment on either our profile or (more commonly) my pics; after which apparently I am expected to either:
a) share my most intimate, wildest or favorite fantasy;
OR
b) give a detailed account of all my experiences in the lifestyle;
OR
c) show them my boobs or pussy on cam....etc
OR
d) my personal favorite (and yes, this is sarcasm) : want to shag them soonest!
If I equate this to, let's say, a similar situation in a golf club for example:
Then the statement that: "all folk who are at the golf club enjoy golf and, for the most part, play golf" would be the generally accepted "true" statement. We then take away manners and we get the following:
Chat is started with a "hi" ; followed by a compliment on the golf clubs you are using/have with you; after which you are expected to either:
a) give detailed accounts of all your golfing experiences;
OR
b) share your hopes and dreams for what golf skills/experiences you still wish to attain/have;
OR
c) give free golfing lessons/tips for a better game;
OR
d) definitely want to play a round of golf with them soonest!
Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?! No one would EVER have such poor social skills at a golf club and, let's just stretch the imagination for a moment, if they did - they would be laughed right out of said club OR ostracized by everyone. Right?
Would love to hear your opinions?
PS: To the others; *who act like mannered, socialized human beings; "thank you"! It is great chatting to you and, very plausibly, we look forward to meeting and (MOST likely) playing, flirting and having a sexational time with you...sharing our experiences....sharing our fantasies.....creating new fantasies with you ......etc, etc! :twisted:
*Chat starts with a greeting; followed by a compliment; followed by general small talk (as is accepted in any social situation); some flirting ensues....common interests are established....and so the friendship grows...
Could'nt have said it better...
Well, well, well
Let me first start by saying you are right with what you are saying. I have been a few times in the chat section and there are people "MEN" that start to chat to me then after a few minutes they want to see my wife and know what she is doing. So that put me off of the chat room!
Then when a person goes in to the chat room at other time and see the every day people there chatting. And a person says HI they just ignore a person. They don't even have the manners to greet back. They just ignore a person flat out. Except if you are a lady chatting then everyone wants to chat to you.
Joyrider
From my disappointing view of the chat room.
As a young man I was always the gentleman and did not get a lot of action whilst my thick friends that went in with all the moves I dislike so much seemed to always have a new chick in thier bed
Well I am still the same except that now it seems to be working for me, just being a nice guy and not caring for the rest
As for the aproaches in the mails and the chatroom, well what is the correct format, you cannot just sit still in the corner and hope someone will notice you
I have tried on many times to join in on the chat but if you are NOT apart of the click you are out.
Sorry but that is the truth from my experiance
Rider
Please try one more time to come and chat in chat room? Just do it when I am there?
In addition, all the people we chat with now are fully aware that we are not meeting anyone at the moment.
Those conversations are great, and continue to be.
No expectations, just great conversation.
;)
K and C
I agree chat room chats can be very exciting or very boring!! and YES very *clicky*...you must have spoken to people before, before they will reply to you,and as it is difficult to see what is being discussed as one can not really scroll back to see if it is something you would like to participate in.....
So when I sometimes go in I only see
Hi to whom ever ...
Hello to whom ever....
This can go on for SOME time making it boring...
I myself try and go to say Hello to *EVERY ONE* in chat,when I log in. But then the one liner, Hello, starts and I feel obliged to say hello individually to each and every person ,now that is my biggest enigma to the chat room.
Not to talk about the whispering, I would love to participate in general chat, but then get distracted with one on one people,and if I say I am not trying to be to rude ,but can we chat in general chat with everyone else,they seem to take that as a they ignore that and carry on chatting,then It is when I start ignoring them.
Okay, now language....I also find the swearing disturbing sometimes, i am NO PRUDE as everyone by now should know,but to read a lot of swearing all the time is not a discussion at all.
And Me being sorta dyslexic, yeah I know you guys do NOT believe me,I am , I change my letters around all the time, and when in chat where there is no spell check I find it disturbing if I spell wrong.
But then ,this is just me, and my thoughts on chat.
Love the golf analogy!
I'd like to add to that...
e) Do you have bbm/ after hi ...
Sure Hi, let me give you my personal contact number because you are now a friend and I know you intimately...
I find this hugely irritating!
More on the point of being rude by not answering every whisper ..
I generally avoid the chat room because the moment I get online the whisper tabs start popping up with "hi" "hi" "hi"
Should there be someone who has manners and a better vocabulary range than just "hi" I might go and have a look at their profile and should I like what I see I'll ask them to please private message me instead.
If I had to answer everyone that whispered I would never chat. So I "rudely" close the tabs.
Often when I do chat to a "hi" person I find that they haven't even taken the time to read my profile and 90% are married without consent to play.
That is what it is. A chat room. When I go into a chat room I talk to people about every day issues like the petrol price increase, the tolls or our "wonderful" government and police system. Whem I want to hook up with people I look at personals or pm them and find out if they would be keen on meeting first and see if there is a click to go further. I don't really try and make the first move as I want to make sure that they are comfortable with the situation. It is a pity that some spoil it for everyone else who are genuine.
This is the same topic over and over, but in different forums. We seem to always circle back to the same thing. Now I have started to see a pattern here on SH... Couples join here to "swing" but they don't want to swing. Single females join to meet other "like minded" people but complain here in the forums about them. A profile gives many descriptions and "looking fors"... Example: Straight female. Ticked anal sex, oral sex, threesomes, gang bangs, etc. Contact that person with an ice breaker message and you get ignored. Follow up a week later with something more detailed and again get ignored! Then come read the forums and see the same people complaining that guys want to shag them! WTF!?!? So do want anal gang bangs or do you want meet Mr. Right for marriage!
Having said that - men are pigs (most anyway)... Men love sex! So when a female or couple specifies on their profile that they are looking for single men for anal and oral sex, expect that men will make contact for that very thing! I used to get upset with the men that get straight to the point and try arrange a meet for sex, because that makes it harder for the rest of us decent ones... But, now I realise something... Their are many men that have learned this, so they bullshit their way in! Make you think that they are just the perfect gentleman. Their efforts will ultimately lead to the same end result. So actually, the ones getting straight to the point are doing the same thing, just cutting out all the efforts in between.
I urge guys here to try something:-
Go to a night club on a Friday night. Spend the entire night sweet talking some hottie. Buy her drinks, chat with her, dance with her, etc. After a good 6-8 hours of being a smooth desireable guy, you stand a good chance of getting her back to your place. Should you get a shag, then your efforts were not in vain. You know full well that everything you said and did to get her into bed was a load of bull!
Now go again the Saturday night after. But this time, go from girl to girl, suggesting to each one that she join you in the back of your car for some "adult fun"... Cutting out all the chit chat, dancing, astronomical drink bill, etc from the previous night... I am very sure that you would get the answer "sure, lets go" before the night is over. Different approach, same result.
So not condoning what some guys do here, just saying that 99% of single males did not join here to get to know you or be your pen pal. Yes, including the ones that impress you with their first message setting themselves apart from the "pigs", these are actually more deceptive and you ladies fall for it... The "pigs" may very likely end up being the "honest" ones. Think about it for a second. Bouncing mails up and down will lead to the same thing as agreeing to a meet in the first message. Only saves time.
Stamina
I agree with what you say.
The guys/cpls that pull the wool over the single ladies eyes and cpls. They................... never mind
The ones that get straight to the point get shot down most of the time. Because they are to direct. This is why I have taken the following aproch myself. We talk with respect to people that aproch us and when we aproch them. but we keep the mails and sms short and to the point. Now this is my reason for doing it this way.
I am not here to look for another wife, I have one. I am not here to steel another mans wife. I think the saying goes like this dont need to change 1 problem for another.
So why would I then want to sweet talk another lady. It all goes about respect and NSA sex.
To me if a lady or cpl want to be sweet talked then there is something wrong. If it is a single lady then she is looking for a husband if it is a cpl then this is to the lady of the cpl he you are married. Your hubby can sweet talk you.
Joyrider
And there I did it again. Been to honest and too direct for some ladies on SH
Thank you Gerrie, but it always lands me in trouble. You must see the mails I got after this posting.
Rider
Now I am going to lay low
Is it possible to repost your response in "Toenadering" - it has absolute relevance here (as well)!
Ja Nee, here we go again only certain people may raise their opinion and say what they want and be as rude as they want. Or launch a scaling attack against a person when that person says something in general to keep the forum alive and healthy with opinions
Joyrider
:sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:
@ joyrider
You can say what you want. This is a forum and anyone can speak their mind and give their opinions. If someone thinks that they are being attacked then it's their own fault.
As they say, if the shoe fits, wear it.
This one is getting heated! I am just watching for now...
Guys join sites like these to find an easy lay. They assume that a female advertising for sex (in what ever form) is a dirty slut that has a sex addiction... And we all know, assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups!
;)
K and C
