Sex God
To all those who are only here for online entertainment and are in no way seriously considering meeting with anyone, the following website is probably more suited to your needs . . . . . .
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Time wasters
PIB! Please stay!
The forum would practically die without your daily input!
I hope that SDMR is referring to people who are not clear about why they are here, and lead people on... who make dates and then never pitch up?
At this point, if he means people like you, that means me too! As we are not meeting anyone at the moment! Which it clearly states on our profile.
Also... I cant talk about sexy stuff with such ease on FB, as I can here 
;)
C
;)
C 
Warming the Bed
Quote by Thumper
To all those who are only here for online entertainment and are in no way seriously considering meeting with anyone, the following website is probably more suited to your needs . . . . . .
So who the fuck appointed you Judge?
I agree 100%
OMW @ KC_ and E_N ,
Guys you do make me feel *special* thanks for that.
But I have to tell the truth, I am also always popping in to see what is posted on here that is new, and what you guys think of the topics.
But I see a few new *voices* arising here which is nice!!
SDMR is one of them...so welcome to you SDSM.
Dude. You need to understand the site properly.
It does not necessarily mean that people must meet. And the forum is a place to voice yourself.
I do not like facebook and never will. I don't want to know about every minute of a persons life.
The forum here contains real comments, issues, stories, etc. This is far more mind grabbing.
If you think this site is only supposed to be about meeting and dating then you are so wrong.
I pop in almost every day.
Sexlightened
As I understand it this site is for lifestylers/swingers and is a forum where such folk can chat online and, if the mood strikes, arrange to meet......some folk are here just to chat to like minded folk but not practice the lifestyle; some enjoy writing and reading forums/blogs on open-minded topics; some to cam and some to meet folk......and some to do all of the aforementioned and then some :twisted:
My opinion is that everyone should be honest on their profiles as to what their particular intentions are on this site. This will ensure that no one is disappointed and that folk with common interests/intentions can "meet".....
Quote by NawtyCat
As I understand it this site is for lifestylers/swingers and is a forum where such folk can chat online and, if the mood strikes, arrange to meet......some folk are here just to chat to like minded folk but not practice the lifestyle; some enjoy writing and reading forums/blogs on open-minded topics; some to cam and some to meet folk......and some to do all of the aforementioned and then some :twisted:
My opinion is that everyone should be honest on their profiles as to what their particular intentions are on this site. This will ensure that no one is disappointed and that folk with common interests/intentions can "meet".....
Jip! That is why I like PiB's profile she make it clear who she is and what she wants. I have tried my best with ours to make sure none is dissapointed, but it is a work in progress since still new and finding our feet a we go along.
And heck sure anyone out for a quick once over will be disapointed with us since that is not what we want!
I actively sought partners and did not get anywhere, except the no shows, who are the real time wasters
then got hooked on the fora and suddenly I also get noticed
So use the fora and also the chatroom and I am sure you will not be so upset by the "time wasters" who most probably did not notice your approach
Sex God
Thumper or should I say My Dream ? ? ? Firstly, nobody appointed me judge, secondly, I did not pass any form of judgement, I merely made a suggestion and Thirdly, you are a prime example of what I was talking about (what with you having two profiles from two provinces) . . . . . . . . anyway, PIB you make yourself clear from the word go, and IF I recall correctly, I sent you a "well done" message some time back on the your write up . . . . . to those having a go at me about the forum . . . . where exactly did I mention the forum in my "comment"????????? my comment is only meant to cover the not so up front profiles . . . . you know, like Erotic Nauty even commented on . . .
Sex God
So it appears that my comments to Thumper and My Dream were a little hasty.
Turns out that it only looks like the same person sent the same message, (the way it showed on my screen) SO that been said, I owe an apology to both parties.
Thumper: I apologise to you for jumping to that conclusion.
My Dream: I apologise to you for jumping to that conclusion.
I will en-devour to be less hasty in future.
Regards,
Shawn
Accepted...
I once posted an article in a magazine , many years ago, which also made the point that people go to Sandy Bay for differing reasons, not all for the same reasons as I go there, but I defend "to the death", their right to go there.
I guess the same applies to membership of SH. No 1 reason is correct to the exclusion of all others.
Quote by SDMR
To all those who are only here for online entertainment and are in no way seriously considering meeting with anyone, the following website is probably more suited to your needs . . . . . .
On the other hand, how many non-time wasters have met only to walk away? Some folks can walk away even before a meeting, because they feel their perception is acurate enough. ;)
I think that it is extremely important to note that many of us here have a VERY specific idea of what we are looking for in playmates - more so the couples on here whose female partner is the active partner of the site, the single women (few as they are) and those older/more mature members who have 'been around the block' a few times.
SWINGING IS NOT JUST ABOUT SEX.
And it is CERTAINLY not about meeting 'willing' people and having sex or sexual encounters simply because they are willing.
I have been approached by many many many members. We are serious, we play regularly, we even socialise with SH friends regularly, but I have turned down the vast majority of people contacting us.
Among my reasons: (please note "they" refers to all genders, couples/singles)
• they really want to just fuck - usually quite obvious from the contents of the message or their profile.
• they are under 25
• they are looking for once-off meets
• they are a bit creepy in their communication/ profile
• they actively want things (asking for them in their messages) which our profile clearly states we do not want, or are not interested in, or which are conspicuously NOT in our check box items area.
I've had one guy ask me to spank him and another asked to be my slave, another wanted to talk in grand detail about my anal desires!
• they ask for access to private albums on first contact.
• they are more than 500kms away and have not considered this aspect AT ALL in the process of choosing who to contact.
• the first contact is something in the vein of "lets fuck"
• they say really stupid things, assume stuff, get over familiar really quickly - usually in the first message, or make leery comments (I'm sorry, I just can't have a sexual connection with someone, with whom I don't have a mental connection with)
• they assume I'm Matt (check out the huge note on our profile), indicating they didn't read the profile.
OR they keep talking to me as though I'm Matt, even after the second response SIGNED LeeEC, and or my comment on the assumption.
• they say 'they read our profile and loved it' then proceed to ask a number of questions which they wouldn't need to ask if they actually had.
Further I have turned down people after a first social/play meet because:
• I/Matt felt no affinity or "click" with them
• I/Matt was uncomfortable with the lack of respect/ lack of safety practiced/ lack of discretion experienced
And once I have halted a first (social) meet, just hours before it was due to happen, because I didn't like their message to confirm meeting place, which clearly indicated an assumption they had made; that they were in for "play" that night, when the invitation was for no such thing at all.
So, just to set the record straight - we are real and not "time wasters" but there is a great deal of need to feel safe/confident/comfortable in a potential play environment (particularly for women), that one should not discount or undervalue in importance, in this context.
Of course my commentary does not make any reference to those 'single guy' members who seem to have a penchant for setting up dates and not pitching. But on that note: it's probably a good idea to note that many guys are driven at least in some respects by ego and if any aspect of an experience may threaten to implode or result in embarrassment or loss of face, they would most certainly withdraw rather than suffer an injury to pride. More so the younger the individual is.
It bears noting too that while most people here have no problem admitting, and even advertising what it is that they want, many of those people unfortunately lack the skill to articulate their unwillingness to participate, if and when they find themselves in such a frame of mind and sadly burn bridges when an honest communication and simple postponement would have made both parties happier.
Simply put - it might benefit all if we employed a little more empathy in our human interactions
SWINGING IS NOT JUST ABOUT SEX.
And it is CERTAINLY not about meeting 'willing' people and having sex or sexual encounters simply because they are willing.
I have been approached by many many many members. We are serious, we play regularly, we even socialise with SH friends regularly, but I have turned down the vast majority of people contacting us.
Among my reasons: (please note "they" refers to all genders, couples/singles)
• they really want to just fuck - usually quite obvious from the contents of the message or their profile.
• they are under 25
• they are looking for once-off meets
• they are a bit creepy in their communication/ profile
• they actively want things (asking for them in their messages) which our profile clearly states we do not want, or are not interested in, or which are conspicuously NOT in our check box items area.
I've had one guy ask me to spank him and another asked to be my slave, another wanted to talk in grand detail about my anal desires!
• they ask for access to private albums on first contact.
• they are more than 500kms away and have not considered this aspect AT ALL in the process of choosing who to contact.
• the first contact is something in the vein of "lets fuck"
• they say really stupid things, assume stuff, get over familiar really quickly - usually in the first message, or make leery comments (I'm sorry, I just can't have a sexual connection with someone, with whom I don't have a mental connection with)
• they assume I'm Matt (check out the huge note on our profile), indicating they didn't read the profile.
OR they keep talking to me as though I'm Matt, even after the second response SIGNED LeeEC, and or my comment on the assumption.
• they say 'they read our profile and loved it' then proceed to ask a number of questions which they wouldn't need to ask if they actually had.
Further I have turned down people after a first social/play meet because:
• I/Matt felt no affinity or "click" with them
• I/Matt was uncomfortable with the lack of respect/ lack of safety practiced/ lack of discretion experienced
And once I have halted a first (social) meet, just hours before it was due to happen, because I didn't like their message to confirm meeting place, which clearly indicated an assumption they had made; that they were in for "play" that night, when the invitation was for no such thing at all.
So, just to set the record straight - we are real and not "time wasters" but there is a great deal of need to feel safe/confident/comfortable in a potential play environment (particularly for women), that one should not discount or undervalue in importance, in this context.
Of course my commentary does not make any reference to those 'single guy' members who seem to have a penchant for setting up dates and not pitching. But on that note: it's probably a good idea to note that many guys are driven at least in some respects by ego and if any aspect of an experience may threaten to implode or result in embarrassment or loss of face, they would most certainly withdraw rather than suffer an injury to pride. More so the younger the individual is.
It bears noting too that while most people here have no problem admitting, and even advertising what it is that they want, many of those people unfortunately lack the skill to articulate their unwillingness to participate, if and when they find themselves in such a frame of mind and sadly burn bridges when an honest communication and simple postponement would have made both parties happier.
Simply put - it might benefit all if we employed a little more empathy in our human interactions
Hi everyone... This is quite an interesting topic, thought I would add my two cents worth. All the opinions here make sense in there own right. But at the end of the day, I have to agree with SDMR... There are a lot of profiles here that claim to be wild ones ready for a good shag... But unfortunately they are just here to see what it is all about. You will notice when browsing, the vast number of profiles that were online "over 90 days ago"... It is really more the "single female" profiles. Single guys and couple in general are pretty serious about meeting.
I do agree that joining a site like this does not guarantee sex, but ultimately, that is the root purpose of these sites. So one cannot really blame "single guys" for expecting just that. Having said all that, I am a bit of a "party animal", I date girls under 22, I hang out at night clubs, pubs, etc... And I must admit (not bragging) that I get "lucky" just about every weekend from meeting girls face to face and turning on "the charm". Have not met anyone from this site (as they always cancel last minute). Excuses are getting old now.
Just to clarify - I am very good looking, well built, fit, sporty, stylish, classy. I wear stylish clothes. I am professional, I own an Engineering firm, I am respectful and have good ethics and morals. I consider myself a gentleman. I respect ladies at all times. I am not pushy and do not request or suggest sex when making contact. So I have never given anyone any reason to "cancel" on me. So not boasting but just saying that I believe that I am (or should be) desirable to the opposite sex. But they never get to see any of this as they never meet me!
To end.. This site is not a guarantee for sex, but SDMR has a point... Do not join here if you do not want to have atleast one NSA encounter or meet a like minded person for ongoing NSA arrangement. Or at minimum, a cam show or something sexual along those lines. Hope this makes some sense and really hope I did not offend anyone. Just my opinion for now...
Sexlightened
We had the experience where people would contact us for a drink/meet-we don't do anything on the firste meet-swop BB pins, sms etc...and then nothing. But you still find them prowling your profile...
Think honesty goes a long way. And-unfortunatly-you have to go through the stalkers and pic hounds and BS'ers to meet someone who might be compatable.
Sexpert
the great thing about this site is one does not have to do anything one is not comfortable doing, so , if a legitimate person or couple simply wants to chat or lurk then i say welcome and live out your must never forget that people are at varying levels of the lifestyle, and some may take a while to reach your there are a lot of fake profiles, single guys pretending to be couples or people who post fake pics, this makes meeting impossible so look out for those .with regards to people who cancel before hand , i guess we must live with that because the only thing that is constant is saying that though what is very disrespectful is those who just leave you hanging, no reply or excuse what so ever.
Sexlightened
Quote by Stamina
.
I do agree that joining a site like this does not guarantee sex, but ultimately, that is the root purpose of these sites. So one cannot really blame "single guys" for expecting just that. Having said all that, I am a bit of a "party animal", I date girls under 22, I hang out at night clubs, pubs, etc... And I must admit (not bragging) that I get "lucky" just about every weekend from meeting girls face to face and turning on "the charm". Have not met anyone from this site (as they always cancel last minute). Excuses are getting old now.
To end.. This site is not a guarantee for sex, but SDMR has a point... Do not join here if you do not want to have atleast one NSA encounter or meet a like minded person for ongoing NSA arrangement. Or at minimum, a cam show or something sexual along those lines. Hope this makes some sense and really hope I did not offend anyone. Just my opinion for now...
No offense taken, however, my question to you is: why are you still on this site if the main reason is meeting someone for NSA sex, which according to your own admission has not happened for you here???
We disagree with your "root purpose" for these sites. Swingers/lifestylers sites' purpose is so that swingers/lifestylers have a tool/platform/place to connect on various levels.....some may just want to chat or write blogs .....SWINGING IS NOT ONLY ABOUT THE SEX. Hence my post on "theory vs practice"...
Quote by NawtyCat
.
I do agree that joining a site like this does not guarantee sex, but ultimately, that is the root purpose of these sites. So one cannot really blame "single guys" for expecting just that. Having said all that, I am a bit of a "party animal", I date girls under 22, I hang out at night clubs, pubs, etc... And I must admit (not bragging) that I get "lucky" just about every weekend from meeting girls face to face and turning on "the charm". Have not met anyone from this site (as they always cancel last minute). Excuses are getting old now.
To end.. This site is not a guarantee for sex, but SDMR has a point... Do not join here if you do not want to have atleast one NSA encounter or meet a like minded person for ongoing NSA arrangement. Or at minimum, a cam show or something sexual along those lines. Hope this makes some sense and really hope I did not offend anyone. Just my opinion for now...
No offense taken, however, my question to you is: why are you still on this site if the main reason is meeting someone for NSA sex, which according to your own admission has not happened for you here???
We disagree with your "root purpose" for these sites. Swingers/lifestylers sites' purpose is so that swingers/lifestylers have a tool/platform/place to connect on various levels.....some may just want to chat or write blogs .....SWINGING IS NOT ONLY ABOUT THE SEX. Hence my post on "theory vs practice"...
I am still here because I have made alot of good friends on the site... And I believe the potential for sex is still there.. Remember, I said it has not happened "yet"...
