I have become active on Swing Heaven after being a Lurking member for a VERY long time,I know I was suspected of *espionage* for another Swing site as I was TOLD so from a former Moderator.
As to why and too what extend , I would/could not know as I was told by that member, after he confessed this to me via PM.
Maybe because the conflict was from The other site, and that most of their members there, also came here and are still coming over here.
I myself feel I can be loyal to BOTH sites. As each has it attractions for me.
In fact I Love both sites.I log into BOTH daily! and I try and be active on both.
I soon saw the potential here in the forums which was Very interesting but not that active ,so from my side ,I started sending out some Flirts with messages to people whom I saw reading the forums but never commenting or posting any articles to please become more active. After it was said in a forum that the THEN active people also wished we had more contributors and not just the few we were.
Most of the older profiles will be able to vouch that this is true.
Soon a few other profiles did the same and we build up the forums with our banter to what we guys have Most people responded positively.
Sadly I have to say that I got tired of responding and mostly/always having to repeat my own opinions MAKING me sound like a broken gramophone record(vinyl record), thus that is why I think MIKE_(a relatively new by my standards,moderator) feels he can say some people feel compelled to always comment!!! AND Not give the newbies the chance to do also did say a few truths in that same forum he commented on ,of what we forum bunnies are guilty comment is NOT a negative reflection on his views at all, so do not read it that way.
I did how ever take a time OUT last year, by NOT commenting or posting new was still reading everything actively and only when I felt compelled to comment on something, I I did not banter at all.
The forums once again become very very quiet Then MOSTLY SDMR & Stamina started posting and bantering between themselves and a few NEWBIES CAME ON BOARD..Like Nimfie_Pieman and some others(if I did not name you guys forgive me)....once more I FELT I could come and once again banter and enjoy jesting with them.I sometimes got ignored on most of my comments!!!Or I got a few *right back at you*comments which I loved.
Lately the last few forums I have to say Is making me feel Negative once much SO, that today I feel like completely going off line, and not to come back.
In fact the forums today makes me feel like it has become a battle is gained with the last few posts.
So sadly from my side, it is time for me to go......as I am really feeling NEGATIVE, the Energy here in the forums are NOT good for me anymore.
I want to thank each and every Person, Oldies as well as Newbies who made my days BRIGHTER and you for that.
I will miss you guys!!!
You ain't goin nowhere!! I will pm you 12 times a day everyday until you come back to the forums!! :sad:
Pib sorry to read your commend and i can assure you i will miss you
....and just as I join a forum again, all hell breaks loose...
Don't worry Flagg - it wasn't you - and PLEASE don't go away - those who are making it unpleasant for others generally move on - I really wish that my forumites wouldn't rise to the bait so easily of those who would spread discontent and unhappiness - just ignore their posts - literally - don't respond - if it offends you - pretend they don't exist. I wish someone had done that with that dreadful character that I eventually had to ban three times!!
After him - I REFUSE point blank to respond to anyone trying to make an idiot of me or trying to bait me - a person can get into a big pile of horse crap letting someone do that to them. I nearly left the site because of that A-wipe.
Thing is it isn't just one person who is the source - it's usually a series of events/certain people/certain topics/certain comments that bring out egos and no one seems to know how to put the egos away again!
... and the funniest part is when people read something you write in a thread and assume you mean to refer to them (even if you weren't referring to anyone in particular but were simply trying to make a point) and react like they personally were attacked by you. It's bizarre and it makes me scream with laughter EVERY time it happens - and I'll be waiting with brimming mirth to see who reacts to this post precisely that way too! :haha:
But it's true PIB - I'm fed up with the childish tit-for-tat too... but I suppose it's only to be expected when online and "incognito" where people think that no one knows who they are ( heh heh ) and that they don't have to deal with the consequences of what they say. The sad part is - that what the relatively new contributors don't/didn't realise is that some of the regulars actually KNOW each other - they are REAL FRIENDS not just chat contributors. It's not fair to say that because they are friends they exclude others - also PIB this is a note on something you said above - when contributors post they don't STOP other's from contributing - there's no limit to posts or people who can comment - no one is taking another's place when they say stuff. it's a forum not a 10 post only page! anyone can comment - they only thing stopping them is them. And now perhaps the really nasty virtual bitch slapping sessions which seem to be the flavour of the week at the moment.. that could also be a bit of a deterrent I expect. I can guarantee that those watching (non-contributors) do not think this "taking regulars to task" is to 'fight for their right to post' I expect they think "OMG! IT's worse than the chatrooms!! I'm outa here!"
So my new comment - and like or not it's my opinion and I'm entitled to it - is that in my opinion the REAL problem isn't the regulars who apparently have too much fun, talk about too many things, have opinions too varied to respect or contribute too much so others can't (??!!) -> its the people who decide to behave like bulls in china shops who don't respect others and start bitch slappin sessions in threads to 'shame' or 'oust' the existing contributors in order to 'increase contribution' - and the past year has shown that in fact every single time this happens, it has completely the opposite effect - it results in a complete dying off of all contribution until no one at all is even reading let alone posting and then they soapboxers bugger off because there's no one left to pick fights with and all the old contributors come back and carry on having fun. So - essentially all the soap boxers do is ruin all the fun and make everyone miserable and then leave. And pray do tell, what the hell is the point of that?
Seriously people just get over yourselves and let people talk about whatever the hell they want.
Well that sucks but I'm not surprised. The forums on this site seems to be some of the most cut throat I've been on with flaming and personal insecurities forming the norm of discussions. So while I must admit I'm going to be sad to see you go I guess it was too be expected with the direction of the forums.
All the best PiB and fingers crossed you return.
Just for clarity the point I made about, regulars feeling the need to post on every topic.
I never said they should limit there comments on the site, but rather that they negatively comment or hi-jack topics they believe should not be on the site or in which they have no interest, spoiling it for those that may be interested. I simply stated these topics should then rather be left to those that are interested or allowed to die naturally.
I've been on this site since 2011, joining with less than 1000 members. I read the forums every time I log on and have tried to participate with over 150 posts. I find myself typing half a post at least 3 times a week, only to delete it as i simply don't feel like dealing with the predictable negativity that dominates the forum.
It saddens me to see PIB withdraw, as I believe she is the one person who has made a positive contribution to the forum, her comments are informative, never belittling or instructive and relative to the topic, as Adonis Said, She "plays the ball not the person."
No matter how people defend their right to comment or to their opinion, (Which I support, but rights come with responsibilities) and yes there have been individuals arriving with a bang and intentionally trying to be controversial. The fact of the matter is the forum has evolved into a hostile and unpleasant environment, this is not a new or overnight development, the blame cannot be placed at the door of a few newbies.
If these forum's are to become of value to a wider group of people, then all involved (new and old) need to get off their high horses and ask themselves if their posts add value to the topic under discussion.
I for one would love to see PIB, becoming as active as she once was, posting new and interesting topics, she single handily saved this forum once, and I believe she has the strength and incite into the lifestyle and its related topics to do it again.
I used to be a regular contributor. I used to comment on all the threads.
Now I just comment when I have something to say which has not yet been said.
While I am at it:
I believe that some old topics should be discussed when a newbie or even an oldie encounters a difficulty again. Yes, I am referring to the race discussions. A lot of people are hurt or confused by the racial stuff that goes on, people saying they don't cross the colour line, but sending them messages etc. I think that everyone should be able to have a voice here. If you don't like the conversation, or have nothing positive/constructive to contribute, than move along. The thread will die on its own without negative comments. Or it will thrive, because some people will feel that they *are*actually allowed an opinion here.
Again the truth is out. VampEC is Nimfie and I did not know until last night.
Many of you think I'm an ass and I'll always be willing to fully agree.
But did you think you could continuously insult me and not affect my wife.
We are a fully verified couple profile after all.
For me I appreciate the voice of Vamp more and if we are not deleted we'll contribute positively.
Most of my original postings were about things that concerned us as nervous swingers, such as:
1) How to be Member Verified in detail.
2) How to have safe sex and STD's.
3) How to use a condom effectively
It was to try and help people with similar issues but was generally not well received.
Other than PIB there was very little positive feedback or advice, almost no contradiction was given to my statements, just: Don't go there Dude
Lee we'll send you PM's to address your statements. Ignore them if you wish but we hope you won't be as dismissive as you were to those we sent you when we just joined SH, long before I started posting on the forums. As I mentioned after the "Anything goes" thing I'm willing to let go of the chip on my shoulder, are the rest of you?
The one thing we are very sad about is how it affected PIB and if we can remedy the situation we shall. Providing we are not kicked of the site.
Sorry, you said you sorry, why would Admin kick you, there are a lot of people said they sorry and go on with there life. Having 2 profiles, it not against the rules of the site.
How many profiles been kick and they back on a new profile name, as i said you apologize and that take something from somebody to do.
Hello there PussinBoots, woman of my dreams, sad to see your post, would be disastrous to loose you, this forum wouldn't be the same, don't know what caused this but it would be a terrible shame! Do realize that there are many (or at least some, like myself) who thoroughly appreciate your valuable, erudite and entertaining input on any and all threads presented! A forum (invented by the clever Romans) is a place were anyone can voice their opinions without constraint, any response thereto is only 'their opinion' and as valid (or not) as yours. Deep down you realize that you owe it to the universal conscious to continue along your ordained path, so don't deny or spite yourself by refraining from comment and/or contribution as we all know you'll be there! You'll read the posts and have something valuable to say, whatever happened don't let it stop you from doing so!
PS: all this in spite of you never having let me know where you grew up in CT, still wondering!
@LeeEC
Cheers Lee, it sucks to see you leave. Hopefully you will return but if not then here's a big hug and wishes for a great future
So I was probably first to mention calling it a day and now it seems that I am going to be last to leave. Maybe my idea of a slow and gradual withdrawal was not as good as some of the other members who's just said enough.
So, in hindsight . . . .
Moderator Mike_ . . .. I should have called it a day after your post on 27th March.
I'm done with the Forums, I can be found in the adult section from now on.
Seems it's fashionable to be leaving
Hello all again. It is a shock to see that so many regulars are getting fed up with the nonsense that goes with forums like these. I too was a victim a while ago and decided to rather keep to myself. Now that I peep in to see what everyone is up to I see crap like this. WOW. It makes a person wonder if it really is worth while.........
Kom mense, ons is groter as dit, as om nou in 'n hoek te gaan sit en sulk, ja mense is te na gekom maar kom ons vat die beste uit dit en verseker dat dit nie weer gaan gebeur nie. As elke een sy deeltjie doen en optree as hulle voel iemand is besig om die klits kwyt te raak rapporteer die persoon, en as daar meer as een persoon klagtes in dien verseker ek u dat Admin sal optree.
As mede forum gebruikers het ons mos darem 'n trots en hoekom sal ons mense verdra wat net kan beledig en afbreek. Ek het geen probleem dat mense verskil en dit kan maar robuust wees, maar dink net eers sal my optrede dieselfde wees as ons mekaar in die oe kyk.
Ja en seker die belangrikst en niemand wil hoor dat jy annie jammergat is oor hoe die lewe jou behandel het nie, daarvoor is daar genoeg in ons samelewing. Staan op kyk die wereld vierkantig in die oe en stel die saak reg. Net jy en jy alleen kan iets daaraan doen, om maatjies te soek om jou jammer te kry, gaan die sitsuasie net vererger.
Ek het twee gesegdes wat ek baie gebruik in die lewe:
1. My Ma het ons groot gemaak, as ons gese het mense ek haat julle, dan het sy gese my kind weet jy hoe haat hulle jou.
2. Uilspieel het gese die mense haat my, maar ek maak daarna.
Die staaltjie het soveel waarheid in. Die vrou het haar vriendin op die buurdorp gebel om haar mee te deel dat sy oorweeg om weg te trek uit haar dorp na die vriendin se dorp toe. Sy het vertel hoe gatvol sy is vir haar bure en die inwoners, hulle skinder, hulle veroordeel, hulle begeer en die ergste hulle skinder en verkondig onwaarhede. Sy vra toe vir haar vriendin hoe lyk dit daar by hulle op hul dorp.
Die vriendin se antwoord was, Hier gaan dit presies dieselfde, dit hang af wat jy daarvan gaan maak.
Mense julle wat wou loop en spesifiek Pib en LeeC welkom terug julle het nog 'n bydrae om te maak.
As iemand dit vir my wil vertaal ek sal nie aanstoot neem nie
Erm what's going on? Left for a week, come back and people are leaving?
I KNOW I said BYE to you guys here in the forums as I was REALLY feeling very negative at the time I was posting this one!!!
I just want to clear up that I never said that I was NOT coming back, I just felt the time, that it was time to go....as things were really negative at the nope I did not go and sulk in a corner or tried to manipulate anyone,to say they will miss me or ask me to come back....I just NEEDED to take some TIME out.
Things have calmed down!!! Very much so, that it is once again, nice to come and read here and to make comments.
I am really glad to see a few new people posting forums.
To them I want to extend a big WELCOME and please do keep posting.
Please remember guys , We chat and We banter and We sometimes go off rail here in the forums or specific Fora,(Hi-jack)depending on the way conversations goes in that specific Fora. It is not with with the intention to discredit the poster of that Fora. Never that!!! It is just the flow of the conversation going .....
As for the other guys leaving, I am saddened by that, I miss them.
Remember even if you guys did say BYE ,we, and You and I CAN ALWAYS come back!!!!!!!
Thanks from everyone who did comment here in this specific fora....I BLAME NO ONE....It was just me and my own feelings at the time.
After all, the FORUMS is really the only reason I am staying on site!!! For those of you that have not read my profile!!!