Sex Toys.

Someone asked me about estim (Erotic electrostimulation) on genitals, THAT of course rushed my mind towards all the damn SEX toys I have gathering Dust in the garage!!!

And I wondered if some of you guys also have sex toys somewhere gathering dust??
And if / when you bought a Sex Toy, after using it,if you were so disappointed in the item, you just wanted to growl???
I have quite a few such toys. I have to tell you guys!!!
But the BIGGEST and WORST Toy ever I invested money in, was a Penis PUMP!!!!
Now I JUST know you guys are going to sit up straight and wonder what the heck an old lady wanted a penis pump for.
Guys remember I am Kinky...I also Believe / d to HAVE all my OWN toys for my play session with my partners/subs. That way I could ensure absolute sterility and cleanliness for all items used. When playing with different partners, you most certainly cannot buy new toys for each one, it is far to expensive!!! It is different if you only have one partner of course!!!!  Thus me being anal about cleanliness and such, is actually VERY important!

Back to the penis pump.......I bought it to do some CBT (due to all the blood flow to the penis,it will make a penis  more sensitive) Man, it just did not work the way I thought or planned it to work.

 I then tried it as a pussy pump,although the cups differ on a pussy pump, it did work slightly better but was harder working it, as I had to press it quiet tightly to the pussy area incase air entered.(Which it did)  It however Worked VERY well as a BOOB and Nipple Pump!!!! BUT  as I do not frequently play with ladies, I thus cannot really use the damn Penis pump!!!
There it lies. Gathering dust....No use to me.

Of course there are more such toys...Like the so called vibrating nipple clamps....does NOT work, do not waste your money, clover nipple clamps Looks nice...but really...it has only a LITTLE clamping area,  best nipple clamps ever, is my home made one`s. You of course do get VERY nice bought nipple clamps  BUT not here in South Africa , everything has to be bought online and you are never sure what quality you might get.

As for The BEST Sex toy I have.....I call it my Butler!!!!!  it is a long handled bullet vibrating egg. It is wonderful !!  It stimulates a prostate JUST beautifully!!!

Oh boy, I can talk sex toys for days...all my toys are now old fashioned I am sure, as there is so many newer items and upgrades available...oh boy.  BUT I do like my toys so sad they are all gathering Dust in the garage!!!

Tell us what toys aggravate you for being useless!!! And what toy was your Best buy ever.

I have some e-stim kit that I Love playing with. Unfortunately not as often as I would like to. I also have some cock rings, ball stretchers and butt plugs. A couple of sounds as well. And yes, a penis pump as well which I enjoy. Anyone want to play with me and my toys??? ??

@Freckles  I have all those lovely toys you mention...sadly they are all dust gatherers at this stage.....

Must say my toys are Looking for a new owner to give them a Happy working home!!! 

You say you like your Penis pump.... how do you use yours,and what does it do for you ???

I have only ever bought a vibrating dildo, one of those in a soft latex covering. She loved it and we used it a lot and at some stage it died. It was a sad moment. If you are interested in what happened to it you can read about it in a story I wrote "Iced Lolly". We did never get any others!

@bob969   How far back is Iced Lolly situated??  I was scrolling and scrolling......

@ pib1 I am not sure. If you search by author it should be quick to find. It is also under "fact". Have you tried searching the title "Iced Lolly". It must have been about 4 years ago.

I do not have any toys but I would like a double ring with a vibratory in the middle that can be operated with a remote. The one ring must go round the balls and the other over the cock and the vibratory in the middle. I believe I could have a lot of fun with that 

@bob969  I will scroll back to the back of the story section....

@Henny55  You really do not need a specific cock and ball ring, if you use rope it work even better!!! Just pop a bullet vibrator into a condom and put it on and wall you have what you need!!! I think you can google how to tie the rope, if not, ask away!!! BUT do not be lazy check first.  OH,  a LONG  shoelace works just as well!!!

If however you want to go and buy a cock ring make sure it fits with a little give!!!

Also if you use a thick rubber rope/string/tubing  with  a bead with a BIG hole, you can make your own cock and ball constrictor...just double loop the rubber tubing through the hole of the bead pull it through to make a nice loop   insert a second bead with a big hole and again pull the same rubber tubing through making a second loop ..all you now need to do is pop your balls through one loop and press the bead down to the tightness you need, now insert your penis through the second loop and tighten it...and walla,  the same as using a rope/ or cock rings!

You could even use a vibrating bullet pop it in a condom...insert into your anus...or just pop it onto you  perineum (area between your scrotum and anus) tye the front of the condom onto a rope and the opening of the condom with a rope, now just make your very own thong with the condom and vibrating egg and vibrate the exterior of your prostate!!! remember the condom rope in front of the vibrating egg should open with a v  to ensure your balls and cock are free to do with what you like. 

I have this NICE anal probe & bullet, both which vibrates.... stimulates the prostate and the penis frenulum nicely!!!!

OH I nearly forgot..BESAFE!!!  Ensure you do not turn your cock and balls with out a bloodflow!!! Always feel and ensure it stays nice and warm and do not let it TURN to purple and become cold!!!  You could castrate yourself like this!!!

Talking about how to please yourself..aka  little kink included...made me think and wonder if any of the guys are into *penis Urethral Probing  or best known as Urethral Sound Penis Pluggings??

HELL NO!!!!! Let me explain. 

I have given it some thought and have even chatted to you about it before you left and was interested. Since then I have had a bout of kidney stones. Twice now, once while awake, a doctor has used, what can only be described as a fancy piece of bloudraad, with a pair of braai tongs and a go-pro taped on the end to venture down my dick in search of rubble and later an old hose pipe. Apparently I have a restriction near the head which caused a problem. I just think it was my little head saying no ways is all the shit going down my throat. Hence my emphatic response. 

Just thinking of it brings tears to my eyes and my dick has just passed my nuts on their way to my lower abdomen.

Ouchie bob969......  BUT believe me when I say, YOU WERE already in PAIN when you had your medical intervention!!! I do believe you  want and wanted to  TUCK YOUR COCK AND BALLS and run away!!! That,  just remembering and thinking of the procedure ,those little nuts is right now crawling up your abdomen and your cock is trying to become as small as possible at just the thought of inserting a device into your urethra again....

I just want to add it should not be painful when you do play normally  (smiling evilly)

@pib1 I know that but my mini me will need more convincing.

Ahhh .....I STARTED letting the toys go to GOOD new homes. SO SAD!!!!