I was reading a comment on one of my posted forums and Ms Katniss made a comment about cocks, vaginas and FARTS
Now the word *fart* immediately made me smile..Now who of us do NOT smile when someone farts unexpectedly and feels Very embarrassed about it??
During sex, when you are playing for the very first time, is quite an issue for the blushes to start.
The vagina farting sounds
Those unexpected little slips of the real stinkers when we are in a shopping center/mall or theater.
Tel me about the fart that made you feel the worst ever.....
Here is mine..it how ever is non sexual.
I was receiving a *prize* onstage 30 odd years ago, walking down the stairs after receiving it, I slipped and fell the rest of the way, dress all hiked up above my hips ,showing my undies to the world....
The audience was shocked into silence, when I let loose a canon of a fart,directly after landing on the floor.....it blurted out like a trumpet.
A few minutes passed before an elderly man jumped up to come and assist me to get up.......BUT walking to my seat I let out a embarrassed laugh where the people started to laugh with me...
Let me tell you guys THAT was one of the worst nights ever!!!!
All I can say is I still blame that fart on the fall.
What is your funny story???
Join the most popular community of South African swingers now
Login
SEX and FARTS
Orgasminator
I'm sorry but I can't top that.
However farting at my school was really dangerous in the early days. Normally you would get your running shoes on first so you had maximum grip to sprint across the dorm whilst avoiding cries of doorknobs and dodging fist flying.
Orgasminator
Standing in a lift full of high and mighty people let a fart out and looking somebody in the eyes if she's the culprit
:smackbottom: :thumbup: Orgasminator
If a women's pussy chatting, what heard like farting during sex are kinky in my way of seeing it. The first time it ends the play but afterwards it was normal.
Little farting when have a orgasm is also knowing your partner gives her everything
I have been following this one but was reluctant to comment... Such a thing has never happened to me and if it ever did I would totally die of embarrassment! I would get up and leave and the lady will never see me again. I have been with my current girl for about 3 years now and have never let one go in her presence. She even asks me why I never fart, am I normal. No girl I have ever been with has heard me fart, not even the mother of my kids in the 8 years we were together... it is not polite to fart in the presence of a lady - ever... not even ones wife of many years. I am not the greatest guy alive and believe me, I have some serious character defects, but I am a gentleman. I lift the toilet seat and close it when I am done. I still open the car door for my better half... One does not fart, belch, pick nose, scratch balls, etc in the company of a female! Do that stuff with your buddies around the braai!
Having said that........ I was in bed with my ex about three months after we started dating and it was finally time to do the nasty. After a lengthy oral session from me, it was my turn and she proceeded with a (experience lacking, not so good) blow job. I felt the rumble in my lower intestines and started "clamping" for just incase... The pressurised gas shot straight down but I managed to seal the exit just in time. So it was close but I am blessed with a bank vault door for an anus! It returned up to where it brewed and after a very disappointing shag, I went outside under the guise of needing a smoke and let out one probably showed up on the Richter Scale!
Aahhh, good times... 
:lol:
:lol: Super human Stamina........for ever the gentleman...
I know why the *shag* was not wht It could have been...you should have excused yourself and go and blow off steam....
Just wondering if you will have the same sphincter control in 20 odd years from now......I know I do not have that control anymore but then I am turning 60 next year......
I agree with stamina, I don't fart in front of women. Never on purpose at least, but sometimes the vault door isn't as secure as you thought.....
My ex girlfriend let one off once when she thought I wasn't in the house. The look on her face when she saw me was priceless. I busted her chops for a minute or two, when else would I get a chance like that? I then kissed her and didn't mention it again. That small bit of GIT gas actually brought us closer
But men are different. We grade each others farts, play doorknobs, bully each other with it, the amount of fun we can have with a simple poep is endless.
You can actually warn people that you farted and they'll hang around until they smell it, before they believe you and move away. Its like we want to smell each others farts
