I've been organising the adult or swingers events now since last year september and have realised something.
Now, before I get into this let me explain to you why I started this: firstly, I wanted a place where non whites could experience and explore in a safe, intimate and non judge mental environment. Secondly for all races who are interested and open to interracial encounters and thirdly for newbies to check the scene out without feeling overwhelmed.
So, I know that this lifestyle is predominantly white and a lot of people of colour said it would be good to have a club or a venue that mixed races could meet up and explore. After, surveys etc we started the business. Now, after parties and experiences we noticed how different races and cultures are so had to tweak and change a few things so that people were comfortable. We would charge a reasonable fee and have a quality "service". After all this planning and watching things unfold, I've come to the following conclusion or assumption. Please this is what I have experienced and this is my opinion.
1) single guys suck!! (not in a good way) they complain about never getting any play blah, blah, blah. They never pitch, they have excuses like there phones died so couldn't communicate. Their cars have issues, they dozed off and it's too late now. There's more excuses just it's too long to list.
2) most people of colour don't keep time or to commitments.
They beg for functions and after I plan and organise they either also don't pitch or cancel last minute
3) most people of colour complain that it cost too much (R300-R350 per couple and per single male). They expect more for their money so take towels or glasses home.
4) most indian couples have "class" issues and tend to refrain from talking, socialising and playing with anyone "below" them.
5) although some non white people say they are open to interracial play, they are not and have issues of who they want there. They complain about the guests and lack of extras etc. They are never happy
I have had better experiences with the white couples we have invited. They have covered costs even beyond what requested, they are patient and also have no hang ups.( again these are the white couples open to interracial play). Last night yet again I didn't take deposits and I booked the venue and people cancelled and switched their phones off or just never pitched.
I am fed up and disappointed, now I know why people don't cater mainly for non whites.
I'm sorry but it's evident.
Gosh, that's really sad, kitty! I wonder if the situation would be different in a different area?
All your hard work and a less than acceptable result. I'm not surprised you're frustrated and disillusioned.
I recently read about a group of people in the cape area who have a venue-less "club". To be a member you pay a once - off fee, after a face -2-face interview, which is what gets you a 'invitation' to membership. Once a member you recieve invites to events in your area. There is an event fee which ranges wildly depending on the event, meet and greets are free, right up to super shindigs... but only members are invited.
Maybe that's a model that would work better? That way every individual who becomes a member has to actually show face socially before being invited AND they have to commit by paying a membership fee (think it was something like -hardly horrendous and for lifetime membership... wow)
You probably need some mechanism to weed out the chancers. Hope things turn around a bit.
Sad this South African attitude of entitlement is seeping into our swinging community too...
I know the "club" you speak about I gave them advice from my experience. The sad thing is these are not strangers they have attended one or a few of our events. We started a sort of demerits system, so that we give them 2 chances after that they are no longer a part of our group. But still, single men disappoint me. So next time a see a damn comment of "it's hard to get play..." ima slap the dude! I had 3 beautiful chicks (including myself) sitting and just watching last night.
That's dreadful! What a shame!
I'm appalled!
It is a pity when you take so much effort, I have also arranged things and have a 50% show, for a gang bang and it then turns into a moresome
I think it is the wankers, interested until they orgasm and then loose interest
Sigh. What a waste. I wish there were more events like this in KZN.
As a person "of colour" I also know that many of the points you made are 100% true... Disappointing to say the least
WOW!!! Well Softis... I guess this is the reality about clubs out there. We do the club scene monthly as its our time to let loose. So once a month we visit the club and have learned the lesson that we should go to the club with the intentions of playing together rather than being on the prowl for play friends. It works in our favor because we have been let down by people we have met online and asked to meet there. So when we do attend parties, it's generally to meet like minded people for great conversation. Hopefully for you guys things improve. Considering the amount of effort that goes into organizing such an event. It really is a pity...
As a non-white (involved but play alone) single, I can agree with most of what you have outlined. I never commit to something I can't follow through on, it's just common courtesy. I have frequented the club you speak of in the cape in the past and have been to couples parties, single day time play parties as well as couples and singles parties. For me the key is to go there not expecting to hook up, it's a sexy/sensual environment and being part of it should be enough. This motto has stood me in good stead as conversation flows better when you're not rushing expecting a fuck! Nobody likes pushy people...
Anyway Eish, I'm so sad that the stereotypes that exist amongst "my people" are true for the most part.
Here's to hoping things change...
Okay, maybe there's something wrong with me?? This week I put up add for guys to come meet me so I could in a way "screen" them then invite them to be members of our small private group. All non whites. None pitched. One guy called to say he was there but I had left already. And I didn't ask for money or membership fee. I been chatting to all of them via what's app and they all interested in playing with me. But I explained that we have a group and that they will be invited to events.
Am I intimidating them some how? Why don't they show? 5guys only the one showed up late
I didn't mean u, I didn't get to add u on what's app. I'm away this week but when I get back, I'd be very interested in exploring your evil side.
I think the problem with most single guys is that they not really interested in the lifestyle, they are merely aroused by the idea of it ,so when "push comes to shove" they are perhaps nervous and realise its not really what they want so they dont pitch. Then there are those guys who start to behave awkward after they had an orgasm and just want get out of there, spoiling the whole purpose of the evening.
Rick has said it
So many times we have had it, after he cums he jumps up and disappears
:lol: