Hi everyone...
Trust everyone is well
Just a bit of venting on a Thursday lol
Getting really disheartened and sad at the lack of manners people have
One reads a profile, checks all to see if it's ok to reply to an AD or the profile itself.
A sweet poetic opening followed by a few paragraphs explaining what one is about etc
Detailed well written mail with spell check
Only for people to read, look at your profile and then say nothing!
Before the haters jump onto their high horses, I do understand and respect peoples right to choice
If I am not your cup of spicy chai that's fine but have the decency to reply and say so.
Yes again I understand women and cpls are inundated with msgs ranging from the good the bad to the totally retarded,
But if I can take the time to write a nice long detailed msg, the person can reply.
If I send a generic mail or send a one liner I can understand being ignored
Anyhow I'm really over this, reading people's profiles complaining about the mails they receive
People too full of themselves.
Oh well...
It's off my chest, cried a river and built a bridge...
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Manners.. Ladies Couples and Men
Orgasminator
Reading this tread and many more on the forums, i asked myself one question and don't think there are a clear cut answer, why most the complains from one group of members.
The majority of complains about people who did not respond to messages come from single male members and that involved from one liners to pages of information.
If the question been asked by the majority of couples then i think theirs a problem, because they on the site for the lifestyle.
After nearly 4 years on this site, we can count on one hand of messages not get answered and that's from single males, women and couples. And here i not say one liners but a message with info.
From our side answering messages send to us, we stop responding to the flood of one liners from single people. In the past the only question to them, can you bring a partner with if we meet, and yes that's the last time to here of the person.
What is my answer to the problem?
Do the effort to attend meet and greet meetings, yes then the platform is there to meet people face to face and remember to leave the ring on your finger at home.
Sex God
If you send a message to a profile that clearly states they are not open to communication from which ever category you yourself fall into, then not getting a response is your own fault.
But, I fully agree with Flamebouy that when you have taken the time to make sure you do fit into what the profile is looking for, and you do not get a response, it is rude.
More often than not, I am sure it is because the profile owner does not understand that ticking the "straight male" box or 'straight female" box , means they are open to contact from members that are not a couple.
Having said that, one needs to remember we are operating in the digital world here, and this is where people are themselves, this is where people allow their true identities to come out.
Perhaps those members with a couple profile, who only want contact from couples, and believe that there is no place for others, should either petition the site owners to make the site a couples only site, or they should tick the looking for boxes a little more carefully.
OK Flamebouy
I have looked at your profile and I would like to give you some insight.
You are quite clearly into CD. Fetishes and CD are not commonplace in swinging, nor are they synonymous with swinging.
Just because people are swingers does not mean they will be open to or interested in meeting up with someone who is into fetish, BDSM, CD, TV and other sex related lifestyle choices. Most swingers are pretty vanilla.
So first youare not the "USUAL".
So when a single girl (one of the 12 on the frikkin site!) looks for a match (note: 98% of them are looking for a couple); the chances of "a single CD guy" being at the top of the requirements list, or for that matter just a "I'm cool with that" option are pretty damn low.
Even bi guys aren't necessarily automatically open to connecting with guys who enjoy CD or lingerie play. It may infact be a complete turn off. It would be for me. But that's me and I have nothing against you having that interest.
You're a fetishist, not a swinger. I honestly think there are real (awesome) places online where you will 'find your tribe' much much easier. People who are "into sex" are not necessarily into all things sexual. Mail me for suggestions - I'm not saying you should leave SH, by all means stay - talk to us! But I do think that signing up on more sites designed to cater to CD and people who enjoy partners into CD, will make you a much much happier chap
In the mean time if you really want to swing - lose all the CD pics and do some more artistic stuff. Rather just add a line about being into hearing about any kinky suggestions possible matches might have.
Goodluck
PS. Some people really don't know how to say "Sorry we're not into guys who like to wear lacy panties", well not without sounding like they are judging you... and so most people just don't say anything
I have looked at your profile and I would like to give you some insight.
You are quite clearly into CD. Fetishes and CD are not commonplace in swinging, nor are they synonymous with swinging.
Just because people are swingers does not mean they will be open to or interested in meeting up with someone who is into fetish, BDSM, CD, TV and other sex related lifestyle choices. Most swingers are pretty vanilla.
So first youare not the "USUAL".
So when a single girl (one of the 12 on the frikkin site!) looks for a match (note: 98% of them are looking for a couple); the chances of "a single CD guy" being at the top of the requirements list, or for that matter just a "I'm cool with that" option are pretty damn low.
Even bi guys aren't necessarily automatically open to connecting with guys who enjoy CD or lingerie play. It may infact be a complete turn off. It would be for me. But that's me and I have nothing against you having that interest.
You're a fetishist, not a swinger. I honestly think there are real (awesome) places online where you will 'find your tribe' much much easier. People who are "into sex" are not necessarily into all things sexual. Mail me for suggestions - I'm not saying you should leave SH, by all means stay - talk to us! But I do think that signing up on more sites designed to cater to CD and people who enjoy partners into CD, will make you a much much happier chap
In the mean time if you really want to swing - lose all the CD pics and do some more artistic stuff. Rather just add a line about being into hearing about any kinky suggestions possible matches might have.
Goodluck
PS. Some people really don't know how to say "Sorry we're not into guys who like to wear lacy panties", well not without sounding like they are judging you... and so most people just don't say anything
It's just very disheartening that's all
We all know the fools trolling around looking for pics or just wanting to get their rocks off, but there are those who are longtime lifestylers, know how to behave, read through ads and profiles fully only to have people ignore you
It's never easy making a first impression online, trying to make urself stand out from the rest of the rats here
I've sent msgs that I wish to have received
Aaaah well guess it's a losing battle
Manners Tact and Chivalry in this adult environment seems to count for little yet contradictory everyone apparently wants guys to send fun witty msgs...
Go figure!
People are a strange species
Thanks again to all who read my little vent
;)
Hi Lee
My sexual ideas be it kinky or not kinky or fetish filled have nothing to do with what's grating my nuts
Why can people not say " I'm sorry not interested "
That's all I ask?
You seem to have misunderstood my rant
I agree people have their tastes wants needs preferences
If someone sends a long detailed flirty yet mannered email it's rude to just ignore it
Yet they are the people who complain guys are rude and send one liners
I unfortunately won't change my profile, why should I? Didn't know swinging excluded kinks and fetishes?
I am swinging for over 10 years so yip changing would be a contradiction for the lifestyle
Thanks in any event for the response and your thoughts
Again I got it off my chest and am over it
People will be rude and I will just get used to it
So...... About 20min ago I receive a message from a couple saying that they like my pictures and are interested in my profile.
This is the confusing part. The ask if I have ever crossed the race barrier. Now to me this is an odd question, but not for the reasons most would assume. You can see clearly from my pictures what I my self am not white and I say so on my profile.
The couple then says, "sorry, you have been with other races and that's a no go for us"
So essentially what I can deduct is that this couple wants to invite a single guy to play, who is not white, but has an issue with the fact that the guy has been with other races. I've never been more confused
So.......... Why is it that a singl guy get blasted for not reading profiles throughly but couples (not all couples, just a minority) feel that they need not be as through as what they expect.
Sex God
Quote by Hotguy4couples
So...... About 20min ago I receive a message from a couple saying that they like my pictures and are interested in my profile.
This is the confusing part. The ask if I have ever crossed the race barrier. Now to me this is an odd question, but not for the reasons most would assume. You can see clearly from my pictures what I my self am not white and I say so on my profile.
The couple then says, "sorry, you have been with other races and that's a no go for us"
So essentially what I can deduct is that this couple wants to invite a single guy to play, who is not white, but has an issue with the fact that the guy has been with other races. I've never been more confused
So.......... Why is it that a singl guy get blasted for not reading profiles throughly but couples (not all couples, just a minority) feel that they need not be as through as what they expect.
Or, perhaps their problem was the fact that you have played with people not the same race as yourself? The so called race barrier does not always have to mean whites playing with non whites . . . . .
Warming the Bed
Quote by SDMR
Or, perhaps their problem was the fact that you have played with people not the same race as yourself? The so called race barrier does not always have to mean whites playing with non whites . . . . .
So the couple is allowed to cross the "race barrier" with him but he isn't allowed to cross the same "race barrier"
some people... Sex God
So another thought came to mind when reading the updates on this post:
What is the difference between "Single" and "Divorced"
Surely if you are single, you are single, and if you are divorced, you are also single?
@ Flamebouy
LOOOOOOngggg time NO see or hear anything from you Flamebouy.
Nice to know you are still in the lifestyle, and not just quietly disappeared.
And as per usual....I like your naughty pics....in lingerie!!! And Why not, is my question as always.....it is actually very common to find men who like wearing female lingerie, so I say go for it ,if you like it!!!
Glad to read you rant is over and done with.....
General comment...
I for one cannot comment on the *rudeness of NOT answering mails* as I am just as guilty too NOT answering any mails lately! Just far to tired of saying the same thing over and over again....I am not active !!
I am NOT going to be enticed into meeting. If only most people will just read the written part of one`s profile it will make things so much easier.
But as 99.9% are active on here. Thus little advice from an really OLDIE in the game....
Read before sending out anything
A Big, NO,NO to site generated flirts. Create your own!!!! Easy enough to do!
Have a decent written SELF written profile whom you are and what you are looking for.
RECENT Face pics in a CLOSED album.
Once you received no reply in return, just move on.....
USE spelled check and stay away from sms kind of messages....
Just a little from my side.
@ Hotguy4couple
Sheesh, Now I have read everything, and I have read many many double standards and foolish things over time.
My thought on your really confusing mail...
The **offending** couple would LIKE to experience and play with your sexy body BUT will wanna put a bag over your head and just think of you as nicely tanned?? HUH, I ask you HUH?????? How does this idea of playing with you,make it NOT crossing AN ethnic barrier??
Confusing in deed!!!
@PIB
Yes long long looooooong time Sunshine!
U of all people should know me lol
It just is annoying that people will not rey to nice decent msgs
I understand ladies get about 200 a day
I try to ensure that from my subject to the actual mail urself is different and unique to try stand out
I ask people nicely, in my mail, if I am not ur cup of tea just say so, so that I leave u alone
But the very sane people who moan about the msgs they receive are the ones who decide to ignore a person
But oh well, after my msg I have received a few lovely responses from people
PIB I do hope our paths cross in this lifestyle
Would really like to make ur acquaintance
Lovely weekend all
Lovely weekend all Sex God
Quote by LeeEC
So another thought came to mind when reading the updates on this post:
What is the difference between "Single" and "Divorced"
Surely if you are single, you are single, and if you are divorced, you are also single?
No idea - seems rather irrelevant actually.
Much like how the majority of views expressed in the forum are viewed?
Forum Virgin
To Lee
The festival you are referring to, is that the Grahamstown Arts festival?
Regards USinpe
