My wife and I enjoy sex, as we all do! After much discussion we decided we'd also enjoy sex with decent, moralistic cpls who are also into adding a bit of spice to their sexlife. We joined the site under a different username and started browsing. Much to our consternation what we have found were liars, spouse cheaters, perverts and assholes.
Let me put an example or two on record.
First there's the ones that chat a bit and when you start to arrange a meeting, the lines go dead.
Then there's the single guys who cannot, for some reason read, even after a good few years at school.
We come now to the decievers. We had organised to meet a cpl at RJ's, us and them. When we got there they called and told us that they would have a family member with them (that was discretion out the window). When they did arrive they also had another cpl with them AND their family member and partner. Hmmm. We ate and left.
We come now to the cheaters. Cpls that are married...but not to each other! Definately not what we were/are looking for. We do not want to get involved in their marital confusion.
We have also been called fake and reported by these people when we questioned their integrity, so we were 'punished' by admin and our profile changed and pics deleted. We never opposed any of this due to the fact it turns into a mudslinging match which we are not going to involve ourselves in, sorry fo you!
We took the easy route, abandoned the sinking ship an opened a new chapter.
Since then, we have only found more of the same, cheaters, liars, perverts and people who try to justify their lack of morals, so it seems we have to, once again, abandon our quest.
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liars, fakes and cheaters
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Sexlightened
Sad but true! It seems that honesty isn't a virtue for some people on the site. We had people cutting all lines of communication just before a meet, no pitch meets. And the "single" guys...no comment. And no, we're not claiming every one is the same-but it's a fact that some guys are messing it up for everyone else.
So yes-being herrassed for pics, chat room abuse, dishonesty...takes the fun out of something that should be simple and awesome.
Cool post!
Orgasminator
Cpl2play,
You can read many of this strories on the different forums, and you will see the genuine people are those that suffer at the end of the day.
Report them and they come back under a new profile
Quote by cpl2play
My wife and I enjoy sex, as we all do! After much discussion we decided we'd also enjoy sex with decent, moralistic cpls who are also into adding a bit of spice to their sexlife. We joined the site under a different username and started browsing. Much to our consternation what we have found were liars, spouse cheaters, perverts and assholes.
Let me put an example or two on record.
First there's the ones that chat a bit and when you start to arrange a meeting, the lines go dead.
Then there's the single guys who cannot, for some reason read, even after a good few years at school.
We come now to the decievers. We had organised to meet a cpl at RJ's, us and them. When we got there they called and told us that they would have a family member with them (that was discretion out the window). When they did arrive they also had another cpl with them AND their family member and partner. Hmmm. We ate and left.
We come now to the cheaters. Cpls that are married...but not to each other! Definately not what we were/are looking for. We do not want to get involved in their marital confusion.
We have also been called fake and reported by these people when we questioned their integrity, so we were 'punished' by admin and our profile changed and pics deleted. We never opposed any of this due to the fact it turns into a mudslinging match which we are not going to involve ourselves in, sorry fo you!
We took the easy route, abandoned the sinking ship an opened a new chapter.
Since then, we have only found more of the same, cheaters, liars, perverts and people who try to justify their lack of morals, so it seems we have to, once again, abandon our quest.
I find this very interesting... A topic that definately requires some attention. All you say is true, eccept for one thing - The cheaters. I can not see how "swinging" is moral yet cheating is not. Sex with anyone other than your partner for whom you confessed your comitment (your spouse), is infact technically immoral. The thing is that times have changed and humans in general are not as religeous as we once were. I am involved, not married but have a girlfriend. Unfortunately she is more serious than I am. She hears wedding bells, I do not. Having said that, she is a great girl. I love her company, I enjoy having her around, appreciate everything she does for me, etc, etc, etc... I do not however enjoy having sex only with her. I get bored very easily in relationships so the only way any relationship will last with me, is when I keep myself entertained with other females.
So yes, I cheat... But I am a great guy. I treat her with respect, I give her all she can dream of, I have the deep feelings one needs for a relationship to work, etc... But I also enjoy the company of other females. My girlfriend will never swing, so what else is there to do if she does not fully "satisfy" me.
So in short... Sex is as important to us as food! We love it, and will always throw "old fashioned" morals out the window in the never ending quest for "kinkier" sex. Some swing, some cheat, some masturbate, some do it with animals, some , etc... All immoral at the end of the day. We know this, yet we still do it - Why? because humans by nature are not monogimous creatures. I for one believe that a man can love his wife and have sex with other woman at the same time.
Food for thougth... (and here comes the fight - lol)...
Orgasminator
Cant disagree what been said, aslong as you not hurt other peoples feelings in the prosess
Quote by Adonis
Cant disagree what been said, aslong as you not hurt other peoples feelings in the prosess
That is the thing here Adonis... We cheat because we don't want to hurt thier feelings. What you don't know can't hurt you. Would not work if I tell her what I did yesterday, that would hurt her. So I keep it to myself and continue to treat her like a princess.
Quote by LeeEC
you could just find a woman who is perfectly happy with your choices.....
they do exist
I agree, they do exist... BUT, they are very hard to find. Truth be told - we men are really deceptive. When we meet a "suiter", we tend to "stretch the truth". It is called courtship. We do our best to make that female believe that we are the best thing since sliced bread. So telling her in the first week that I want her as my life partner but I also want to sleep with other girls will surely be the end of that date! It is really that hard to believe that a person (man/woman) can cheat on a partner yet still love that person. This is exactly why people cheat instead of leaving their partner - because they love that person and still want them around. Please note: I refer only to cheating for sex, not companionship. I do not condone on-going "affairs", you can not love two people at the same time (or should not).
I find this very interesting... A topic that definately requires some attention. All you say is true, eccept for one thing - The cheaters. I can not see how "swinging" is moral yet cheating is not. Sex with anyone other than your partner for whom you confessed your comitment (your spouse), is infact technically immoral. The thing is that times have changed and humans in general are not as religeous as we once were. I am involved, not married but have a girlfriend. Unfortunately she is more serious than I am. She hears wedding bells, I do not. Having said that, she is a great girl. I love her company, I enjoy having her around, appreciate everything she does for me, etc, etc, etc... I do not however enjoy having sex only with her. I get bored very easily in relationships so the only way any relationship will last with me, is when I keep myself entertained with other females.
So yes, I cheat... But I am a great guy. I treat her with respect, I give her all she can dream of, I have the deep feelings one needs for a relationship to work, etc... But I also enjoy the company of other females. My girlfriend will never swing, so what else is there to do if she does not fully "satisfy" me.
So in short... Sex is as important to us as food! We love it, and will always throw "old fashioned" morals out the window in the never ending quest for "kinkier" sex. Some swing, some cheat, some masturbate, some do it with animals, some , etc... All immoral at the end of the day. We know this, yet we still do it - Why? because humans by nature are not monogimous creatures. I for one believe that a man can love his wife and have sex with other woman at the same time.
Food for thougth... (and here comes the fight - lol)...
for what its worth, i fully agree with this post. sometimes all you want is to be a little naughty, thats it. not break up a marriage and hurt or destroy peoples lives.
Actually one can LOVE more than one person..it is called *Polyamory*.
I just choose to love one person...but I like and respect most of the other people I do play with.
I for one do not think anyone when happy and *satisfied* would like to choose to cheat.
But then anyone may think me a *cheater* as I do CHOOSE to butter my bread on both sides,and if I can get away with jam ........... well let me at it.......
But I have to say, I had this little unsettling thought when reading, that the lady in the gents who play here alone, lives, gets treated like a *princess* sounds like she is so delicate that she might break...made ME as a single lady *player* feel like a THING who is used and then discarded.
NO wonder I feel like never meeting people anymore......
Quote by Stamina
you could just find a woman who is perfectly happy with your choices.....
they do exist
I agree, they do exist... BUT, they are very hard to find. Truth be told - we men are really deceptive. When we meet a "suiter", we tend to "stretch the truth". It is called courtship. We do our best to make that female believe that we are the best thing since sliced bread. So telling her in the first week that I want her as my life partner but I also want to sleep with other girls will surely be the end of that date! It is really that hard to believe that a person (man/woman) can cheat on a partner yet still love that person. This is exactly why people cheat instead of leaving their partner - because they love that person and still want them around. Please note: I refer only to cheating for sex, not companionship. I do not condone on-going "affairs", you can not love two people at the same time (or should not).
One of the best perks of true love is the ability to be your complete, adulterated, unhidden self with someone who loves you for exactly who you are - Not for who you claim to be or want to be nor for who they want you to be. Its largely because true love and trust go hand in hand.
The problem with cheating in a serious relationship is that no matter how you try to justify your actions, your are doing something that will break the heart of a person who loves you. Cheaters cheat because there is something missing - either in their relationships or in themselves! Not telling their partners is due to a blend of selfishness, cowardice, disrespect and shortsightedness. Not the qualities that many happily married couples would want in a swinging partner.
I dated my wife because I suspected she was a cheater and because of my fetish for this I married her because she is one
We have been, together, very happily for 25 years and I encourage her to do so more
So for everyone his own
If you do not fit dont try as this will cause someone to get badly hurt
Quote by Pussinboots1
Actually one can LOVE more than one person..it is called *Polyamory*.
I just choose to love one person...but I like and respect most of the other people I do play with.
I for one do not think anyone when happy and *satisfied* would like to choose to cheat.
But then anyone may think me a *cheater* as I do CHOOSE to butter my bread on both sides,and if I can get away with jam ........... well let me at it.......
But I have to say, I had this little unsettling thought when reading, that the lady in the gents who play here alone, lives, gets treated like a *princess* sounds like she is so delicate that she might break...made ME as a single lady *player* feel like a THING who is used and then discarded.
NO wonder I feel like never meeting people anymore......
Point taken. You are correct. At the end of the day, cheating is wrong... So I am not as good a person as I believe. Guilt does get to me. But I do like the ladies, I love the thrill of the chase... As far as being used goes - A "preditor" in a nightclub (and there are many) that goes out for the sole purpose of scoring a lay for the evening is there to use some innocent girl for a one night stand... But what about the vast array of girls that are there for the exact same thing? I would not take advantage of a young innocent virgin that drank too much while out with her friends for her 19th birthday... I woud however not give it a second thought if a promiscuous female approached me with an offer for a quick backseat meeting... These girls exist and they are everywhere. It happens.
Quote by CamFun
you could just find a woman who is perfectly happy with your choices.....
they do exist
I agree, they do exist... BUT, they are very hard to find. Truth be told - we men are really deceptive. When we meet a "suiter", we tend to "stretch the truth". It is called courtship. We do our best to make that female believe that we are the best thing since sliced bread. So telling her in the first week that I want her as my life partner but I also want to sleep with other girls will surely be the end of that date! It is really that hard to believe that a person (man/woman) can cheat on a partner yet still love that person. This is exactly why people cheat instead of leaving their partner - because they love that person and still want them around. Please note: I refer only to cheating for sex, not companionship. I do not condone on-going "affairs", you can not love two people at the same time (or should not).
One of the best perks of true love is the ability to be your complete, adulterated, unhidden self with someone who loves you for exactly who you are - Not for who you claim to be or want to be nor for who they want you to be. Its largely because true love and trust go hand in hand.
The problem with cheating in a serious relationship is that no matter how you try to justify your actions, your are doing something that will break the heart of a person who loves you. Cheaters cheat because there is something missing - either in their relationships or in themselves! Not telling their partners is due to a blend of selfishness, cowardice, disrespect and shortsightedness. Not the qualities that many happily married couples would want in a swinging partner.
100% correct for the majority of cheaters.. For me however: (not to try and justify what I do)... I am not that serious about this one, maybe not yet. I chose my life partner, had 2 children with her, spent 9 years with her... To be told one day: "I have met someone else, good bye". She left my kids with me without a fight. I have since had 3 girlfriends including the one I have now. So I do not plan to settle down soon, been there - done that! One day I will be old and fat and ugly and girls will not give me a second look. So I am just using what I have while I still have it! So yes, cheating is wrong, I admit that... But I get bored very quickly and that is why I cheat, not because something missing but because I constantly "need" something new. Could be a medical problem or could just be my personality? I do not even keep a car for longer than a year then I must have a new one! I go through phones and laptops like underpants!
Casanova
I think it could be a condition as I suffer from the same as you stamina. Otherwise we have the same personalities. My phone and car change constantly.
Quote by Voyer1105
I dated my wife because I suspected she was a cheater and because of my fetish for this I married her because she is one
We have been, together, very happily for 25 years and I encourage her to do so more
So for everyone his own
If you do not fit dont try as this will cause someone to get badly hurt
But Voyer...I thought you and Mrs Voyeur thoroughly screened prospective partners together...
I can understand the thrill of knowing that she's having sex with another guy and keeping this from you. If she has your blessing to do this, can it still really be called cheating?
Orgasminator
Can i clear something there is a difrence between cheat and concent in a couple.
Please dondt shout at me but i am a bit confuse reading the forum
Adonis skryf asb in Afrikaans. ons sal jou verstaan
Vergeet van wat ek geskryf het dit tel nie, net n speletjie van my vrou en ek
"Cheat" is skelm en eintlik nie mooi nie behalwe as jy speel met jou garde se toestemming en dan is dit speel en nie "cheat" nie
Eintlik baie moeilik om te beskryf
Quote by Voyer1105
Adonis skryf asb in Afrikaans. ons sal jou verstaan
Vergeet van wat ek geskryf het dit tel nie, net n speletjie van my vrou en ek
"Cheat" is skelm en eintlik nie mooi nie behalwe as jy speel met jou garde se toestemming en dan is dit speel en nie "cheat" nie
Eintlik baie moeilik om te beskryf
Ek sien 'cheating' as dit agteraf is en die lewensmaat weet nie daarvan nie...And that is kinda why we or it's probably more my rule as the lady, no play with married men whose wife does not know of their chosen lifestyle. Main reason, I feel what if it was me having to somehow find out about my hubby playing around....?
Now don't think this is why I agreed to join this lifestyle, it usually shocks people, but I know from the forum I'm not the only wife who actually were the one suggesting this lifestyle
I just don't ever want to be part of the reason for that wife's pain who has to find out what their partners have been up to. I'm not going to get into the rights and wrongs of this. You want to cheat, fine. But do it on your own concience.
All I'm asking is that you READ MY PROFILE.
It CLEARLY states in big, "shouty" capitals "NO CHEATERS"
Firstly reading my profile is just manners and sign of respect and shows that you are actually interested in me and not answering to every female on the site
Secondly and much more importantly ...
As much as you don't want to break your wife or girlfriends heart, lying to me, wasting my time and trying to make me break my moral rules and principals is simply not cool ..
So if you want me to try tolerate your behavior the VERY LEAST is respect my personal boundries
Sexlightened
Quote by Stamina
So yes, I cheat... But I am a great guy. I treat her with respect, I give her all she can dream of, I have the deep feelings one needs for a relationship to work, etc... But I also enjoy the company of other females. My girlfriend will never swing, so what else is there to do if she does not fully "satisfy" me.
Re the above quote:
1) Depends on what your definition of a "great guy" is?
2) It seems as though you require a dictionary....does "treating her with respect" include lying to her about your infidelities and the depth of your feelings for her. She is in a monogamous relationship which she feels has a future. How will she react when she discovers the truth??? She is living a lie that you are knowingly perpetrating.
3) Did she really dream of being lied to every day?
4) I am not sure that purposefully hurting someone to the point of soul destruction constitutes the deep feelings that make a relationship work!
I sincerely hope that she is doing exactly the same thing to you ie lying and enjoying the company of other males and/or females because, if she is: then my entire aforementioned foray is mute and the two of you will live happily ever after in your mutually assured fake relationship.
Mrs Cat
Sexlightened
This topic has been addressed ad nauseam.
There will (sadly) always be liars, cheaters and fakers who will do their very best to satisfy their selfish needs using swinging/lifestyle sites as their platform. Similarly, there will also be folk who have no concept of what the lifestyle/swinging actually entails/purports/is based on and we are unsure of why they are here?
Morality is the distinction between right and wrong OR good and bad behavior. Society, different cultures and/or religions have prescribed good morals to their members. The lifestyle is one such culture and it's good morals include: sexual variety, hedonism, sexual open-mindedness and fulfilling sexual fantasies/fetishes BUT ONLY when the members conduct themselves HONESTLY(this means being honest to your play partners AND your significant other); respectfully and with total consent of all involved.
The lifestyle/swinging is NOT a place to "pick up a free hooker" .
We believe that most, if not all, genuine lifestylers/swingers will not include people, who do not abide/live by their moral code, in their play - it would be akin to a butcher trying to sell pork in a synagogue .....distasteful and abhor able etc
We would like to add: we do not judge your moral choices nor your reasons for making those choices. We would kindly request that you do not taint or disrespect our culture?
PS: Cheaters are, both men and WOMEN, who play without the knowledge and consent of their significant other. There is NO distinction between genders in the definition of "cheater". Females who cheat should theoretically not treated any more favorably than their male counterparts by genuine lifestylers/swingers.
There will (sadly) always be liars, cheaters and fakers who will do their very best to satisfy their selfish needs using swinging/lifestyle sites as their platform. Similarly, there will also be folk who have no concept of what the lifestyle/swinging actually entails/purports/is based on and we are unsure of why they are here?
Morality is the distinction between right and wrong OR good and bad behavior. Society, different cultures and/or religions have prescribed good morals to their members. The lifestyle is one such culture and it's good morals include: sexual variety, hedonism, sexual open-mindedness and fulfilling sexual fantasies/fetishes BUT ONLY when the members conduct themselves HONESTLY(this means being honest to your play partners AND your significant other); respectfully and with total consent of all involved.
The lifestyle/swinging is NOT a place to "pick up a free hooker" .
We believe that most, if not all, genuine lifestylers/swingers will not include people, who do not abide/live by their moral code, in their play - it would be akin to a butcher trying to sell pork in a synagogue .....distasteful and abhor able etc
We would like to add: we do not judge your moral choices nor your reasons for making those choices. We would kindly request that you do not taint or disrespect our culture?
PS: Cheaters are, both men and WOMEN, who play without the knowledge and consent of their significant other. There is NO distinction between genders in the definition of "cheater". Females who cheat should theoretically not treated any more favorably than their male counterparts by genuine lifestylers/swingers.
Quote by NawtyCat
So yes, I cheat... But I am a great guy. I treat her with respect, I give her all she can dream of, I have the deep feelings one needs for a relationship to work, etc... But I also enjoy the company of other females. My girlfriend will never swing, so what else is there to do if she does not fully "satisfy" me.
Re the above quote:
1) Depends on what your definition of a "great guy" is?
2) It seems as though you require a dictionary....does "treating her with respect" include lying to her about your infidelities and the depth of your feelings for her. She is in a monogamous relationship which she feels has a future. How will she react when she discovers the truth??? She is living a lie that you are knowingly perpetrating.
3) Did she really dream of being lied to every day?
4) I am not sure that purposefully hurting someone to the point of soul destruction constitutes the deep feelings that make a relationship work!
I sincerely hope that she is doing exactly the same thing to you ie lying and enjoying the company of other males and/or females because, if she is: then my entire aforementioned foray is mute and the two of you will live happily ever after in your mutually assured fake relationship.
Mrs Cat
Mrs Cat...
She probably did not dream of being lied to no... But she also knew from the start that I was not planning to "settle" anytime soon and she was fine with it. She is as far as I know, on the same page. She lives her life and I live mine, somewhere in between we see each other. Please note that I am "seeing" someone! Not married, not engaged, not committed. Is it really still that "wrong"? I have never cheated on any of the girls in my previous "serious" relationships, and every single one of them cheated on me! Including the mother of my two children who had a 8 month affair before I found out. After that I decided to first live my life for a while before I "take a wife"... Am I not entitled to that without being judged? Remember that this girl that I am seeing is 21... Still young and not exactly what I want, so "if" I decide to put a ring on her finger, then I will not cheat, ever... But for now we are just "spending time together"... Hope this clears it up as it seems most missing the point.
