Join the most popular community of South African swingers now
Login

Issues Of Concern

last reply
6 replies
1.3k views
0 watchers
0 likes
One of the young single members got hold of me this weekend and usually a person exchanges stories, and experiences of what a person has found and came across in this lifestyle. And 1 major concern that came up is this young person follows the Swingers Heaven suggested rules, which one of them are to meet the people in a public place first and then take things from there . Now the problem is the following, this person has meet 2 different cpl's and on both occasions there has been things gone missing after the fun, like underarm spray, toothpaste and some other things. Or the people pitch up and the guy who is with the female, whether it be the husband, boyfriend or just fuck buddy. While the young person is giving the lady a seeing to, the guy uses drugs (which was not mentioned in the cpl's profile or at the first meet) or the guy wonders round in the house seeing what he can take as souvenirs. Now look at it this way the young person cannot go and open a S.A.P case for the small things that was taking without permission, because then the thing it is like washing your laundry in public. Which no one wants!! Now what are we as descent members of Swingers Heaven going to do about this? Suggestion that come up is the NAME AND SHAME THING that has come up so many times, it would work in this case. I know some people will maybe not use it the right way, but as we have a TAB on our profiles for our favourite people and friends why can't we not have another TAB where a person can confirm and make remarks like once a person has meet people you can confirm they are for real and those that are not as well as those that are bad people. And let it be like the private pic's, you as a member can pick who you want to show this info to. Joyrider Enjoying the ride
Thinking Joyrider put a point off concern on the table, firstly thinking of it is to put a complain in on the members profile. Yes it will be very difficult for the mods to make a discision on the case because who telling the truth. I always said if somebody do it ones he will do it twice and that means if you report him there wil be some reffrence in the futher. But your report must consist of all the relevant info, time place and what happend at the time. On the suggestion of the site on swinging, think they made the suggestions for normal people not the crap in SA
This is the BIGGEST risk we all take when we invite STRANGERS into our home. I know this happens, and that is why I will always suggest taking a first time encounter to a hotel room for WHICH both of the parties pay. Always let someone you trust know where you are and give a phone call when you arrive, and depart. I have heard of instances where young ladies and so call *hubby*goes to single men`s/ladies homes the lady/man has sex and it is being filmed, then the gents /lady either gets robbed,molested,or gets threatened to being blackmailed or the tape will be sent to your work, or that it will be posted on the internet. This is especially very difficult and daunting if the *single* is a 8am to 5pm single. and it can even happen in a venue NOT your own. So we each need to be vigilant in our little encounters. Does Naming and Shaming really works?? Sometimes it gets MISUSED ,by spiteful /nasty people whom was rejected. And the only thing that happens is that same person just opens a NEW account under another name. So even keeping a tab on your own profile is not always viable,not every one will read your profile, when arranging to meet someone,whom they might not even know you met. Last word..NOTHING stops you to get up get dressed and leave,if they do something you do not like,or to ask them to leave. and be sure keep an eye on what they brought with, so you can ask your stuff back ,if you notice they take more than what they came to know, I know. I am always surprised at the amount of DRINKING and DRUGGING that is needed to relax people to seems it is a kind of norm. Why the need to dull your senses when you are going to do something you like and love and enjoy?
Rather than having a name and shame, which goes against privacy of the user, rather have a "Rate me" tab. You can rate a user profile whether good or bad. That could work. Plus it would give each user a sense of discipline to maintain. Have a look at site Bidorbuy. Rate the seller and rate the buyer. The same principle can be applied. I would welcome some criticism from other profiles. This would assist in improving myself and my profile.
Firstly we have to say being members on this site we have not had much to say or introduce ourselves... So hi to all wink Matters of concern Yes i fully agree but 1 needs to have all facts in order before posting anything harsh against the next !! We people many times seem to judge other people upon their profiles rather then meeting individuals themselves.I read on the forums board "WASTE OF TIME" topic and noticed a certain indivduals name been posted by another which i truly confirm is not true "DR DRE" Myself and the wife made contact with Dre on the 14th Feb and after sending bbm's back and forth Dre was unwilling to drive to the Eastrand for a latenight dogging or public fun feeling the same as many people do when someone gets your hopes all up then drops you !! Saturday night myself and the Mrs took a late night drive just to check if we could peep at "SENSATIONS" but being too late it was closed (if we were at the correct place) so we decided to head towards the Jhb Botanical gardens hoping to find alittle luck heading towards the gardens the Mrs asks me to Ping Dre and see if theres any reply and guess what he does... We then make quick arrangements to meet @ the Greenside Shell filling station to introduce arrives shortly and after being all comfortable we had play which was a blast. People lets not be nasty !!! We would also agree with the "Rate Me Tab"
"Rate me" tab would assist where all users will be able to write their experiences with that persons profile. Be it positive or negative. When browsing each user, you can formulate your own view of the user from reading the ratings and then decide if you want to contact or not. The discipline will follow from there.
That is scary but a hazard in this lifestyle .i often see who has verified the member then if I know that person go out and do a bit of homework but many people want discretion .who they play with is their business and they might not want to rate others.i chat in the chatroom often and get a few friends telling me to be cautious of some members so i think that is still the best a group of trusted people .lets meet chat and look out for each don't have to meet to play.