How far am I off the mark "part 1"

26 Oct 2014

Why do you want to swing?
This is a question only you yourself can answer. But nine times out of ten. One of the following is your reason.
You are thinking of it is because your partner has brought up the subject
Or you both have fantasised about it, but please realize a person's fantasy is just that because in real life things hardly ever work out the way you have fantasised about.
Or you are wanting to please your partner and that is why you are considering it. This is how most couples get into the life style. So don't feel bad about it.
Or you both just want to add some spice to your relationship. This is a nice reason why you doing it and it works.
But if you thinking of swing because it might be a way to try and save your relationship. Then forget it because swinging can either bring the two of you much closer or drive you even more apart. You see swinging is built on trust and if you don't have trust in your relationship then it will also not work. Then rather forget swinging.
You see the reason why trust is so important is you need to be able to trust that not one of you will walk around behind each other's back, because swingers do not play behind their partners back and they will not usually play with someone that is cheating on their spouse and the reason for this is true swingers do it for clean fun without complications.
Clean fun without complications is the best fun you can ever have
Joyrider

26 Oct 2014

I wish we had "like" buttons

26 Oct 2014

Press this button = LIKE......... I couldn't agree more, well posted

27 Oct 2014

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

27 Oct 2014

I agree a welcome and informative forum.

27 Oct 2014

Your like button

28 Oct 2014

Quote by Mike_Pta
Your like button

Thanks doll!

28 Oct 2014

"...and the reason for this is true swingers do it for clean fun without complications.
Clean fun without complications is the best fun you can ever have"
Joyrider
Er.... Actually, from what I have seen during my time on this site and my futile attempts to slip into this lifestyle, swinging complicates something as simple as sex to a massive extent...
Anyone care to disagree?
And please let's not go down the road of "swinging is not about sex yada yada yada bla bla bla..."
Because I am sure that one does not live the lifestyle to invite other couples for dinner parties, swinging without the sex would be called "friendship".

28 Oct 2014

Quote by Stamina
"...and the reason for this is true swingers do it for clean fun without complications.
Clean fun without complications is the best fun you can ever have"
Joyrider

Er.... Actually, from what I have seen during my time on this site and my futile attempts to slip into this lifestyle, swinging complicates something as simple as sex to a massive extent...
Anyone care to disagree?
And please let's not go down the road of "swinging is not about sex yada yada yada bla bla bla..."
Because I am sure that one does not live the lifestyle to invite other couples for dinner parties, swinging without the sex would be called "friendship".
This should be good . . . . . . . .

28 Oct 2014

Quote by SDMR
"...and the reason for this is true swingers do it for clean fun without complications.
Clean fun without complications is the best fun you can ever have"
Joyrider

28 Oct 2014

@ Stamina, Every couple on here will tell you it is not just about the sex..MOSTLY it is of course!! BUT it is the friendship they are looking for! People who will not just come around for sex...but for socials and get together with their kids,just like any other vanilla friendship develops. If it was just for sex,heck nothing easier....one night sex can be gotten!!! BUT for a longstanding friendship to develop is something else! There is couples here in CPT who has a that, they are mostly a *closed* group of people, and that is for safety sake mostly!!! I am talking STD`S and come together braai socialize and go home, go dancing together, out to dinners look after each others kids, for the others to go enjoy a night of bliss !!! Each makes a turn to baby sit!!! So yeah, clean fun to be had by everyone!!! Also remember to have a friendship is nicer cause you can be open to who and what you awkwardness to introduce them to family or other vanilla friends, if they come around they are also your friends and fit into your lifestyle. I wonder if your outlook and expectations to the lifestyle of swing is NOT the reason you are not successful on here Stamina. If I read correctly,you are not looking to make friends with benefits and I am talking couple benefits and the odd single benefit....but you are only looking for SEX to satisfy some you will be ashamed to introduce the people and couples you guys connect to....then I would say you have not made the RIGHT connections, if any, at all!!! How in the world can you connect if you are not open to the possibility to develop a longstanding friendship??? Sex can and could complicate any relationship....just like it does in any vanilla marriage!!! and that is the reason we harp on openness and communications between couples before you even attempt to progress in the lifestyle.

28 Oct 2014

Quote by Pussinboots1
@ Stamina,
Every couple on here will tell you it is not just about the sex..MOSTLY it is of course!! BUT it is the friendship they are looking for! People who will not just come around for sex...but for socials and get together with their kids,just like any other vanilla friendship develops.
If it was just for sex,heck nothing easier....one night sex can be gotten!!! BUT for a longstanding friendship to develop is something else!
There is couples here in CPT who has a that, they are mostly a *closed* group of people, and that is for safety sake mostly!!! I am talking STD`S and come together braai socialize and go home, go dancing together, out to dinners look after each others kids, for the others to go enjoy a night of bliss !!! Each makes a turn to baby sit!!!
So yeah, clean fun to be had by everyone!!!
Also remember to have a friendship is nicer cause you can be open to who and what you awkwardness to introduce them to family or other vanilla friends, if they come around they are also your friends and fit into your lifestyle.
I wonder if your outlook and expectations to the lifestyle of swing is NOT the reason you are not successful on here Stamina.
If I read correctly,you are not looking to make friends with benefits and I am talking couple benefits and the odd single benefit....but you are only looking for SEX to satisfy some you will be ashamed to introduce the people and couples you guys connect to....then I would say you have not made the RIGHT connections, if any, at all!!!
How in the world can you connect if you are not open to the possibility to develop a longstanding friendship???
Sex can and could complicate any relationship....just like it does in any vanilla marriage!!! and that is the reason we harp on openness and communications between couples before you even attempt to progress in the lifestyle.

Exactly...
Friendship building, baby sitting, etc, etc... = Complicated sex! I never said sex complicates relationships, I never said sex complicates swinging... I said swinging complicates sex. Everything you said above is exactly what I am saying.
As for me and my other half. I will openly say we are not true swingers. We do not want a male involved in our sex life (at all!!). We simply looking for females only. We do actually want the friendship that goes with it and would prefer one person for ongoing fun, including just normal hanging out. But regardless of all this, the fact remains that swinging is very complicated and as such, complicates sex ( a simple act).
Friendships are already pretty complicated and friends are actually very hard to find, buddies and tjomies are a dime a dozen, friends (true friends) are very hard to find because let's face it, people are mostly pretty effed up in general. I for one am extremely fussy with regards to who I associate myself with. I am a straight forward person and an excellent judge of character... It takes 10 minutes for me to decide if I like someone or not. If not, I make it very clear straight away.
So for us to be swingers, we would need to go through the "complicated" rigmarole of meeting people, befriending them, and finally drop the bomb and suggest we bang each others partners? Case in point: The girl from FHM... I give you one guess what has come of that.
Then what if you find a couple that you have a sexual connection with but a friendship is out of the question for whatever reason? Then it once again complicates things...
My logic is undeniable. Sex is as simple as this: Meet someone from the opposite sex, chemistry happens, sexual attraction is there, undress, do the deed... Simple. Convince me that swinging can follow suit. I met a sexy lady that owns a new hardware that opened recently near me. I went there 3 times in one week. On the third visit (buying pop rivets) she said it's too hot to work and she would rather be having a cocktail at a bar... I said "me too". She said "well then, let's go". I said sorry, will take a rain cheque. This is how easy it is to find sex one on one. Any couples ever get a couple like that? Never!
Please do not misunderstand me. I am not saying that swinging is not "worth the effort", I am simply stating the fact it DOES complicate sex.

28 Oct 2014

I have pasted the last message I sent below. Let me know if you think I "connect" wrong and it effects my success? Hello, How are you doing? Good I hope... I have mailed before I believe. 9 out of 10 messages I send just get ignored so being the persistent person that I am, I tend to send mails again and again until I get a response - even a negative one. This site is so frustrating, it seems most are just here to play... I hope you are one of the serious ones. We are a great looking couple. Fun, down to Earth, chilled and love life. She is a super-sexy 22 year old with amazing legs and a bum to die for. She really is HOT and a hell of a lot of fun. I am 36, well groomed, good looking and a gentleman. We are looking for a lady friend to join us for a night out (or in). A few drinks and a good time and if the night takes us to some "extra fun" then great. This is to satisfy her bi-streak and obviously for both ladies to have ultimate pleasure... I would love to be part of the action but that is entirely up to the ladies - I will gladly sit out if so required. Basically just want to go out, have fun and see what happens, no specific plans. I understand "chemistry" so no pressure for anything... We would like it become an ongoing friendship as we do not really want to jump from bed to bed. Safety for all concerned is top priority. I browse many profiles. Most do not interest me and many just ignore messages - or the chat goes quiet and nothing comes from contacts. Your profile stands out and I am really interested in you. This can't be that hard to organise but it seems damn near impossible on this site... Please view our profile and let me know if you would be interested. We really are two lovely people to know so you wont regret it - promise. Have an awesome day!! Sean & Katie

28 Oct 2014

@PIB1 for us it is more about the sex than the friendship per se. We obviously like the people who we play with, but we are not really in it for the relationship. Maybe it's because we don't have kids? But for us, it is all about the thrill of having someone else involved in our sexual activities. Watching and being watched is huge for us. Having someone to braai with is less of a concern for us. When we meet with our playmates, it is for the awesome sex. ;) C

28 Oct 2014

@ Stamina, You want me to be honest??? I read your message with an open mind and *read it* it as if it was meant for me. You give a very nice description of you and your lovey, and you clearly state what you guys are looking outa 10 I would how ever change a few things..... And here comes the honesty!!!!!! Please know I am not trying to be negative I am just trying to give you an in sight to what I think the responses might be...or that IS what my response would have been. MY first thought was *STALKER* reading the first paragraph of your message!!! I would drop the whole thing....no one wants to know you are going to pester them with MORE mails than what they want as they might be busy ignoring you in the first place. Also I would tone down the sexiness of your lady, if things develop and photos are exchanged they will see for themselves how sexy the little lady is!! Most women are not always comfortable in their own skin we profess to having no issues with our bodies but believe me when I say...WE all have issues!!!! EVEN your lady!!!! No lady wants to be the *ugly duckling* during a sexual encounter. We all want to be made feel special even if we are butt ugly!!!! Stressing her age is another thing...maybe the lady you are making contact with is older or way younger....I would leave that part for her to go read in your site profile. Might just say you fall with in her requirements *age wise*.It also shows you have taken the time to READ her written profile if she has one. This part I liked,I changed a few things though)....pasting in... We are looking for a Bi-lady friend to join us for a night out (or in). A few drinks(here I will include dinner rather than drinks) and a good time and if the night takes us to some "extra fun" then great,but it is not a Requirement on the first meet. This is to satisfy my ladies bi-streak and obviously it is for both YOU ladies to have ultimate pleasure. I would love to be part of the action but that is entirely up to you ladies - I will gladly sit out if so required and watch if allowed. Basically we would just want to go out, have fun and see what happens, no specific plans. I understand "chemistry" so no pressure for anything. We would like it become an ongoing long term friendship as we do not really want to jump from bed to bed. Safety for all concerned is top priority. What I also liked and will use as in introduction ...pasting in Your profile stands out and I/WE are really interested in you. I/We hope you are one of the serious profiles on site, and will be able and willing to Meet us BOTH as soon as it can be arranged. and the end is okay.... Please view our profile and let us know if you would be interested. We really are two lovely likeable , Fun, down to Earth, chilled and love life, kind of people to know, you wont regret it - promise. Well you did ask my opinion and as you know I am opinionated...not always the right opinions I know....but that is me.

28 Oct 2014

@ KC_ Nice to read a comment from you once again. It does become boring reading my own opinions and thoughts all the time!! I am not disagreeing with you or Stamina about the life-style not being about sex it is, like I also mentioned, but no one can have sex more than once with one person or a couple with out liking them and in the end you do become friends,you might go out to dinner/clubs/dances before retiring to home for some fun,...... maybe not *friends* who you will want go to when things are not good in your life, but friends never the do a little catching up on each others lives before any action ,not so...I know I do, and I call that friendship. Anything else , I would call booty call *friends* if they just come around and we go directly for the sexual fun stuff. Not talking when couples go to a hotel room for sex,away from their home.......that is pure sex and sex alone. Not one of us will be playing with anyone who does not fall into our own comfort zone if we do not connect mentally and physically. If we are not prepared to introduce them to anyone one who comes to our home unexpectedly,they should not be considered for sexual interludes. This is My way of seeing things course...anyone is welcome to differ.

28 Oct 2014

lol PIB1, thanks! I lurk often, but more often then not, my point has already been made by someone else, or I have nothing to add to the conversation.... If only there was a LIKE button I could press on posts I enjoy, you would see how often I really am in here, reading everything.... Yes, we do catch up before play, but I try to keep that to a minimal, as time and energy is not always unlimited, and I would rather spend that time/energy giving and receiving pleasure than talking.... but that is just me. Normally, I am the one who just randomly starts undressing during the conversation to try get the ball rolling.... For us, most of the talking happens at the meet and greet. When we get to your home, it's time to get the clothes off and have fun. I'm not saying this is what swinging is about for everyone, but it is our experience and expectations at this point in time smile

Thus far, we have not yet managed to connect with any couples from the site, only single males. *Shout out to our lovely playmate!* We have a few meets with couples lined up in the near future, we hope.... but couples are just as unreliable as others say singles are! We have only once been let down by a single, and often by couples! ;) C

28 Oct 2014

Quote by KC_
lol PIB1, thanks! I lurk often, but more often then not, my point has already been made by someone else, or I have nothing to add to the conversation....
If only there was a LIKE button I could press on posts I enjoy, you would see how often I really am in here, reading everything....
Yes, we do catch up before play, but I try to keep that to a minimal, as time and energy is not always unlimited, and I would rather spend that time/energy giving and receiving pleasure than talking.... but that is just me. Normally, I am the one who just randomly starts undressing during the conversation to try get the ball rolling....
For us, most of the talking happens at the meet and greet. When we get to your home, it's time to get the clothes off and have fun.
I'm not saying this is what swinging is about for everyone, but it is our experience and expectations at this point in time
Thus far, we have not yet managed to connect with any couples from the site, only single males. *Shout out to our lovely playmate!* We have a few meets with couples lined up in the near future, we hope.... but couples are just as unreliable as others say singles are! We have only once been let down by a single, and often by couples!
;)
C

Please, let us not convince the powers that be to introduce a like button on this site, we would see countless new postings on the forums only to find out it was "like" . . (just being funny)
But it is indeed interesting to read the part about more couples letting you down than single members, I am sure a number of couples are going to be quick to attempt to correct you on this (even though they have zero idea what has happened to you) . . . . Oh, and Mike_Pta best make sure you reward accordingly . . . . wink

28 Oct 2014

Quote by SDMR
lol PIB1, thanks! I lurk often, but more often then not, my point has already been made by someone else, or I have nothing to add to the conversation....
If only there was a LIKE button I could press on posts I enjoy, you would see how often I really am in here, reading everything....
Yes, we do catch up before play, but I try to keep that to a minimal, as time and energy is not always unlimited, and I would rather spend that time/energy giving and receiving pleasure than talking.... but that is just me. Normally, I am the one who just randomly starts undressing during the conversation to try get the ball rolling....
For us, most of the talking happens at the meet and greet. When we get to your home, it's time to get the clothes off and have fun.
I'm not saying this is what swinging is about for everyone, but it is our experience and expectations at this point in time
Thus far, we have not yet managed to connect with any couples from the site, only single males. *Shout out to our lovely playmate!* We have a few meets with couples lined up in the near future, we hope.... but couples are just as unreliable as others say singles are! We have only once been let down by a single, and often by couples!
;)
C

I agree with SDMR on this - this is not Facebook or even Fuckbook it's a swinging site.... ere hello!

28 Oct 2014

Quote by SDMR
Oh, and Mike_Pta best make sure you reward accordingly . . . .

You rang sir

Your link sir

29 Oct 2014

Quote by Pussinboots1
@ Stamina, You want me to be honest???
I read your message with an open mind and *read it* it as if it was meant for me.
You give a very nice description of you and your lovey, and you clearly state what you guys are looking outa 10
I would how ever change a few things.....
And here comes the honesty!!!!!! Please know I am not trying to be negative I am just trying to give you an in sight to what I think the responses might be...or that IS what my response would have been.
MY first thought was *STALKER* reading the first paragraph of your message!!!
I would drop the whole thing....no one wants to know you are going to pester them with MORE mails than what they want as they might be busy ignoring you in the first place.
Also I would tone down the sexiness of your lady, if things develop and photos are exchanged they will see for themselves how sexy the little lady is!! Most women are not always comfortable in their own skin we profess to having no issues with our bodies but believe me when I say...WE all have issues!!!! EVEN your lady!!!! No lady wants to be the *ugly duckling* during a sexual encounter. We all want to be made feel special even if we are butt ugly!!!!
Stressing her age is another thing...maybe the lady you are making contact with is older or way younger....I would leave that part for her to go read in your site profile. Might just say you fall with in her requirements *age wise*.It also shows you have taken the time to READ her written profile if she has one.
This part I liked,I changed a few things though)....pasting in...
We are looking for a Bi-lady friend to join us for a night out (or in). A few drinks(here I will include dinner rather than drinks) and a good time and if the night takes us to some "extra fun" then great,but it is not a Requirement on the first meet. This is to satisfy my ladies bi-streak and obviously it is for both YOU ladies to have ultimate pleasure.
I would love to be part of the action but that is entirely up to you ladies - I will gladly sit out if so required and watch if allowed. Basically we would just want to go out, have fun and see what happens, no specific plans. I understand "chemistry" so no pressure for anything. We would like it become an ongoing long term friendship as we do not really want to jump from bed to bed. Safety for all concerned is top priority.
What I also liked and will use as in introduction ...pasting in
Your profile stands out and I/WE are really interested in you.
I/We hope you are one of the serious profiles on site, and will be able and willing to Meet us BOTH as soon as it can be arranged.
and the end is okay....
Please view our profile and let us know if you would be interested. We really are two lovely likeable , Fun, down to Earth, chilled and love life, kind of people to know, you wont regret it - promise.
Well you did ask my opinion and as you know I am opinionated...not always the right opinions I know....but that is me.

Thanks Puss... I will take all that under advisement with my next message. Remember though that it was the last message I sent so not always worded exactly the same. Obviously each message will differ slightly but always along those lines. I do see what are getting at with the changes in wording so it will definitely help.
As for the beginning part. Not everybody gets that. I only persist when the profile "REALLY" interests me a lot. And by persistence I mean that I will send a second message after a week or so and then give up. I do not actually pester the people. I get the hint after message 2.
But at least you can see I do not come across as brash. I try my best to let them know that we are not "serial killers". He he he...