I am taking advantage of these forums now, but I love the input. This may well be a better way to research issues than using Google!
We live in a different world today, a world where casual sex is the norm. Monogomy has been removed from the dictionary! I have a daughter, still small, but she won't stay that way. I see the single male profiles, read their ads, hear what they say to women in the chatroom, etc. I even sit quietly in the corner at the local action bars and watch the men. Many (most) just want to have meaningless sex with some strange girl, use and abuse her. I am not "entirely" innocent here either. For me, premarital sex (fornication) is always on the menu!
Now I worry... My daughter will reach an age where some hormone driven teenaged "dog" will pull the moves on her! It sickens me to think about it. If I had everything my way, she would be permitted to go on her first date when she turns 40!!
So my question... You folks, as swingers and hunters and promiscuouis ladies: How would it make you feel to learn that your son's and daughters may very well do what we do? Would you want your daughters in the back of a GTI in the nightclub parking with some fool humping away like theres no tomorrow? (My apologies for the graphic image I just installed in your mind)...
Would like to hear how some tackle this question...
Join the most popular community of South African swingers now
Login
How does this make you feel?
My daughter is 19 months old instead of worrying about how I would feel, I try to do as I'd like her to do.
I want her to grow up to be a adventurous, fun loving and honest young adult, be that sexually or not. I don't want her to compromise herself, her morals or her principals. I want her to stand up for herself in a world where running over people is becoming the norm, to think for herself, form her own opinions and learn from the mistakes shes bound to make.
Some " hormone driven teenaged "dog"" is going to pull the moves on her... my hope is that I have given her the good grounding to deal with the situation.
As for her and the fol in the GTI ... I don't want to think about it, even though theres a % chance its going to happen. My only solace is that those are some of my best memories and I can only hope that they become some of hers!
Quote by Prezzie2120
My daughter is 19 months old instead of worrying about how I would feel, I try to do as I'd like her to do.
I want her to grow up to be a adventurous, fun loving and honest young adult, be that sexually or not. I don't want her to compromise herself, her morals or her principals. I want her to stand up for herself in a world where running over people is becoming the norm, to think for herself, form her own opinions and learn from the mistakes shes bound to make.
Some " hormone driven teenaged "dog"" is going to pull the moves on her... my hope is that I have given her the good grounding to deal with the situation.
As for her and the fol in the GTI ... I don't want to think about it, even though theres a % chance its going to happen. My only solace is that those are some of my best memories and I can only hope that they become some of hers!
I think it is a bit easier for a Mom to accept. When a girl looses her virginity, she tends to rather talk to her mom about it... Mom's tend to listen, understand, sympathise, give advice, etc... Fathers would want to track down the boy and beat the crap out of him. We forget it takes two to tango.
You sound like a good Mother. I am not so lucky to have one for my kids, just me and them. I don't know what I would do if the situation came up. I am doing my best to ensure they grow up with good morals. I hope the same thing, that I have laid strong enough foundations and she will make the correct decision. Will still probably stick my foot up the boys ass though!
Thanks for your reply. Input always much appreciated.
Sex God
While I agree with everything that's been said here, we must not allow ourselves to fall into the trap of blaming men only. (yes, I like you Stamina, am guilty) however, we could only do what we did with willing participants. it takes all kinds to make up the world, and saying that it is the men who are the "issue" only would be wrong. Yes, more men than woman are that way, but if woman were not also that way, men would not "get any"
I would also like to keep my little girl in the house until she turned 40. but like prezzie said, teach them right and they will be able to handle any situation.
Quote by SDMR
While I agree with everything that's been said here, we must not allow ourselves to fall into the trap of blaming men only. (yes, I like you Stamina, am guilty) however, we could only do what we did with willing participants. it takes all kinds to make up the world, and saying that it is the men who are the "issue" only would be wrong. Yes, more men than woman are that way, but if woman were not also that way, men would not "get any"
I would also like to keep my little girl in the house until she turned 40. but like prezzie said, teach them right and they will be able to handle any situation.
Everyone, feel free to call me Sean. Used a dumb nickname when I registered because I got the wrong impression of the site and was not planning to stay... I have nothing to hide, least of all my name.
Orgasminator
Dankie, my kinders is groot, maar verseker almal ek deel in jul bekommernis. As ek in my besigheid kyk, Drankwinkel, en sien wie hier instap om skelm drank te koop en party keer in watter toestand hulle is, glo ek daar is ouers wat sal moor as hulle dit weet. Maar ongelukkig is daar ook daardie ouers wie dit nie bekommer nie.
Die een ligstraalkie is dat daar van die jong kinders, en dit is albei geslagte, die kondome neem wat gratis deur die staat daar geplaas is. Ken baie van hierdie jong kinders wat hierdie site soos 'n kinderkrans dans sal laat lyk. Regstelling ons verkoop geen drank aan minderjariges, maar die vriende koop die drank en hulle gebruik dit.
Nou sal julle se maar dit is van die punt, nee dit is reeds die punt, glo nie vir een oomblik 'n ouer het sy kind so groot gemaak nie. Maar albei ouers werk en weet nie wat in die dag by die huis aangaan nie.
Waar is die dae toe 'n jongman eers 'n "gat in 'n klip moes pee" om met jou dogter te kon uitgaan. Of 'n rotweiler gehad het. om die jong mense weg te hou
Casanova
I am 6 years older than my sister and the first time she had sex she came to me to tell me what had happened as our parents would have skinned her alive. We grew up very conservative and the topic of sex never came up. I explained to her what it is about and what to be carefull of and ot take any advancement from anybody as a sign of being a "gentleman" as most of the time there is a hidden agenda. Not all men are like that I know. She has grown up to be a beautiful woman and is married with a good man for her and have the most beautiful daughter. She is turning 1 this month and they have chosen me to be the godfather. They want me to teach her the correct way and trust me if it were up to me she would be wearing a chastisy belt already with all the pervs that are around.
Quote by Stamina
I think it is a bit easier for a Mom to accept. When a girl looses her virginity, she tends to rather talk to her mom about it... Mom's tend to listen, understand, sympathise, give advice, etc... Fathers would want to track down the boy and beat the crap out of him. We forget it takes two to tango.
While you might be right about YOUR Mom and Dad, that is a HUGE generalization.... I had a mother who was of all things, a family-planning nursing sister! I would NEVER tell her ANYTHING about my sex life - what a GHASTLY AWFUL idea!
Never never never!
DESPITE the fact that I knew EVERYTHING there was to know and was open and could talk easily to my mother about the facts, I can not think of a SINGLE incident or context or experience in even the vaguest of sexual contexts that I would have or did share with my mother! (I didn't even tell her when I was !)
Now on the other hand, my dad, though we were not "close" when I was a child, as an adult I can share (though never the grand details) at least my broad and academically/intellectually posed concerns about sexual aspects of life, with him.
Granted being in the game of relational/intimacy coaching, it does make it easier to start the conversation.
Now for Sean and the other guys interested in an answer from a "my child ever getting into swinging" perspective - it might go a long way to think about this issue as entangled with the other one of how to approach people on the site..
IF your daughter DID end up on a site like this (or in a bar like that one), wouldn't it benefit YOU now to know that dealing with EVERY woman on a site like this, in a way that you would hope young men in the future would deal with YOUR daughter in a similar situation, would instill EXACTLY that kind of a cultural value in the swinging community, which would ensure future generations partaking would receive the minimum amount of respect you would wish your children to get?
Does that make sense? Or did I just confuse everyone?
Quote by LeeEC
I think it is a bit easier for a Mom to accept. When a girl looses her virginity, she tends to rather talk to her mom about it... Mom's tend to listen, understand, sympathise, give advice, etc... Fathers would want to track down the boy and beat the crap out of him. We forget it takes two to tango.
While you might be right about YOUR Mom and Dad, that is a HUGE generalization.... I had a mother who was of all things, a family-planning nursing sister! I would NEVER tell her ANYTHING about my sex life - what a GHASTLY AWFUL idea!
Never never never!
DESPITE the fact that I knew EVERYTHING there was to know and was open and could talk easily to my mother about the facts, I can not think of a SINGLE incident or context or experience in even the vaguest of sexual contexts that I would have or did share with my mother! (I didn't even tell her when I was !)
Now on the other hand, my dad, though we were not "close" when I was a child, as an adult I can share (though never the grand details) at least my broad and academically/intellectually posed concerns about sexual aspects of life, with him.
Granted being in the game of relational/intimacy coaching, it does make it easier to start the conversation.
Now for Sean and the other guys interested in an answer from a "my child ever getting into swinging" perspective - it might go a long way to think about this issue as entangled with the other one of how to approach people on the site..
IF your daughter DID end up on a site like this (or in a bar like that one), wouldn't it benefit YOU now to know that dealing with EVERY woman on a site like this, in a way that you would hope young men in the future would deal with YOUR daughter in a similar situation, would instill EXACTLY that kind of a cultural value in the swinging community, which would ensure future generations partaking would receive the minimum amount of respect you would wish your children to get?
Does that make sense? Or did I just confuse everyone?
Makes perfect sense... Never thought of looking at it that way.
Sorry to hear about your "bad experience". It sickens me into my soul that some men do that! I must catch a - he must pray the cops get to him before I do!!!!
Quote by georgeous
I am 6 years older than my sister and the first time she had sex she came to me to tell me what had happened as our parents would have skinned her alive. We grew up very conservative and the topic of sex never came up. I explained to her what it is about and what to be carefull of and ot take any advancement from anybody as a sign of being a "gentleman" as most of the time there is a hidden agenda. Not all men are like that I know. She has grown up to be a beautiful woman and is married with a good man for her and have the most beautiful daughter. She is turning 1 this month and they have chosen me to be the godfather. They want me to teach her the correct way and trust me if it were up to me she would be wearing a chastisy belt already with all the pervs that are around.
My best friend took my sisters virginity when she was 17 (I was 16). We are not friends anymore - he has some scars!
Casanova
100% correct lee. My sister came to me one day and said that she wanted to have an experience with another woman.(when that song came out " i kissed a girl and liked it"). I told her all the options and places to find a suitable and willing lady. I ended up taking her to CR and she had her first experience there. Since then she hasn't shown much interest in it again as far as I know.
Casanova
Quote by Stamina
I am 6 years older than my sister and the first time she had sex she came to me to tell me what had happened as our parents would have skinned her alive. We grew up very conservative and the topic of sex never came up. I explained to her what it is about and what to be carefull of and ot take any advancement from anybody as a sign of being a "gentleman" as most of the time there is a hidden agenda. Not all men are like that I know. She has grown up to be a beautiful woman and is married with a good man for her and have the most beautiful daughter. She is turning 1 this month and they have chosen me to be the godfather. They want me to teach her the correct way and trust me if it were up to me she would be wearing a chastisy belt already with all the pervs that are around.
My best friend took my sisters virginity when she was 17 (I was 16). We are not friends anymore - he has some scars!
If it were me he would have been dead. Lucky he has only scars.
I totally LOVED Prezzie2021`s comment THAT is how a true Mother talks.
Treat others how you would like to be treated and HOW you hope your Daughter or son will be treated should they join a sex site.
I have no kids,so will most likely NOT understand how a Father and Mother`s hope works for their kids.
But I do have nephews and nieces , all know me and my quirks and sexual deviance.
When they asked questions I answered them.
I trusted that their parents gave them strong enough morals to decide what they want in life.
so far I have not been disappointed in are adults and have their own kids.
Just be certain that your kids know about Birth control, drug abuse drugs and alcohol abuse.
That would be for boys and we so forget, that boys also get and abused.
If you raise your boys to be gentle men ,then WHY be worried about your daughters ? as those same boys will treat the girls with the needed respect.
I have two beautiful daughters, one 36 and one turning 21 on Sunday, so I went through this delema quite a while back. My first reaction was the same about wanting to keep them at home till 40..lol, until I realised just how selfish that would be. I had some of the best sexual experiences in my early years. The excitement when I was young, oh boy if I could only experience that again! No, I want my daughters to have the best experiences possible! I have always been open with them, something that my parents weren't with me and hated the idea that they would grow thinking of sex as dirty! It is beautiful and as natural as eating. I have always treated them and the women in my life with the utmost respect and hopefully they will choose there partners on the example I have set for them as to how a man should treat a lady! There's not much more I could do than that. I wish them a happy sex filled life in whichever way they choose.
It saddens me when people say they want to lock up their daughters until they are 40, but not their sons?
My parents thought they were open about sexuality with me, and for that I give them credit. However, providing me with books that explained everything, and saying "ask if there is anything else you want to know" in a way that means "Please do not ask me ANYTHING" was not enough for me.
So, I knew the basics about intercourse. I heard the word blow job in school, and knew it had something to do with the penis, but had no clue it involved sucking and not much actual blowing...
My point is, teaching children about intercourse alone, and saying things like "be safe" without providing some kind of explanation of what that means leaves kids/teenagers quite confused. On the one hand they are kinda given permission to do "safe things", told there is more to relationships than intercourse, and left to figure it all out on their own!
Being a girl in this world is hard enough, being unprepared when boys make you feel certain ways is even harder!
Girls have very little idea of what pleasure their own bodies can provide for them, whereas most boys have a pretty good idea of what kind of feelings occur when they shake a little longer at the urinal...
That lack of personal understanding mixed with society telling girls you have to do things to keep a boyfriend often results in many girls having sexual experiences that are focused on their boyfriends, and very little experience that is focused on their personal pleasure....
So I guess what I am trying to say, is that I salute the parents like Prezzie and Terry, who give/gave their girl children information, what sounds like more than the typical "stay safe" speech...
If girls are treated differently than boys with regards to their early sex education in the home, then nothing is going to change with the way our girls experience sexuality.
Hope that makes some sense.
;)
C
Sex God
KC, to clarify my lock her up till she is 40 statement. I only have a Daughter, if I had a son as well, he would be taught from early on all about manners and respect of the female body / emotions / etc.
Sexlightened
We are lucky enough (yea, yea...ok...so with a bit of planning on our part 
) to have a VERY open relationship with our 3 daughters ages 22, 20 & 17.
All my girls knew not only the material facts about intercourse and being safe etc but we also detailed the emotional component and we highlighted the actual physical feelings of things like different orgasms etc
All three my girls have lost their virginity and all three told me literally days after the event.
They are all aware of the lifestyle and it's principles, rules and function. Fortunately for us, they are not at a place emotionally/sexually where they even want to think of partaking. The reason we say "fortunately" is because we do not want to "party" where our kids are "partying" 
Being open and honest really worked for us and, although it was difficult watching them grow up and make sexual decisions, it wasn't as scary as we thought it would be!
) to have a VERY open relationship with our 3 daughters ages 22, 20 & 17.
All my girls knew not only the material facts about intercourse and being safe etc but we also detailed the emotional component and we highlighted the actual physical feelings of things like different orgasms etc
All three my girls have lost their virginity and all three told me literally days after the event.
They are all aware of the lifestyle and it's principles, rules and function. Fortunately for us, they are not at a place emotionally/sexually where they even want to think of partaking. The reason we say "fortunately" is because we do not want to "party" where our kids are "partying"
Being open and honest really worked for us and, although it was difficult watching them grow up and make sexual decisions, it wasn't as scary as we thought it would be! Nawtycat I agree with you, being open is the best
We are in a situation where my wife's son stays with us and have caught us out already. Now every time she wants to play we have to make all kinds of arrangements or I take him for a drive so she can have a fuck
I have told her all we need is to tell him to go somewhere as we want some private time
