hi all
how many of you use these items? we do it on all our naughty nights. IF the couple agrees to it, if they are not willing, they bring their own certificates.
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HIV test kits
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Although it might sound like a GOOD idea to have this done on the night of play, one should never forget the *window* period and that tests will show up JUST Make you complacent enough to decide to maybe go *bareback*!!!
NOT even to mention that there are other STD`s that could be lurking.
I myself would not advise anyone doing these test with out the mental preparation that goes with such a test.
Just think you are there with your partner, and YOUR test shows POSITIVE what a shock that would be NOT speaking about the issues that will start right away spoiling all fun for EVERY one there.
Remember when you guys go for testing by your doctor you SIGN a document to say the docs are allowed to test you guys for HIV. Then if the results is positive, the Doctor will get you in and give you the results and then proceed to explain treatment, and will explain why you should take the responsibility of letting all and every sex partner KNOW that you are now positive.
As with other STD`s the same goes!!
Be responsible enough and go for testing every few always use protection.
Just 3 questions....
What are YOU guys going to do when you are HIV positive(or any other STD for that matter) ARE you willing to be open about it and let your play partners know.
Will you play with someone who is Positive for any STD or HIV???
What are you going to do if someone does come up positive when you did the home test?? show him /her the door and shame them??? then shun them??
No way. I do a lot of counselling - that sounds like a horrendously bad idea.
Any medical tests should be done by a professional ( I wouldn't even use a mobile clinic type setup to get tested - no thanks I want a doctor dealing with my tests!)
If you feel like you want people to be tested, then you should ask them to get tested before your meet and have your test results available. That's only fair, if they have something (even curable/treatable) it at least gives them a chance to deal with the problem or call off the meet and save embarrassment.
Play safe, and don't let any test result sway you from that.
If you have regular playmates or exclusive playmates, this is less of a concern, but still... playing safe all the way.
we ask new playmates if they are willing to take the tests with us, if they are comfy with that, then we can assume that they are not trying to hide anything. if they are willing, they either know their current status and trust us enough to do it with us. if they don't want to, we cant pressure them into doing anything, but that is as far as it goes then.
the topic comes up for discussion before we even exchange nrs. so if they are on board from the get go, they will either go test themselves before we meet and just do the test with us so everyone can see that everyone is clean. if they do not want to they can and will decline, and then that's the end of that. if they find out prior that they are positive, they will not let anyone know, they will probably just say that they are not interested anymore.
8 out of 10 people that we've talked to (not played with) thought it was an excellent idea. that way everyone goes home with a little peace of mind, that at least they didn't get the HIV virus. (depending on the window period)
you can get hiv through oral sex as well.
I get that this is a freaky topic, but a home test cost R25 from your nearest pharmacy, and the test takes 10 minutes. I really don't see the point in not doing it, as to not caring at all. that's how we do it, that's how we will continue to do it.
Oh I forgot to add, the home test is not always accurate!!! It can show you are positive when you are in fact negative!!! and vice versa. The home rapid test is just an indication NOT really a reliable test itself.
I am again worried about the mental repercussions such a test can have on someone with out medical background people to assist in results.
This kind of thing makes me think on how the computer info and self diagnoses and treatments sometimes harm more people than what it helps. Instead of them going for medical care itself.
But each to its own!!!
I agree with Lee and PIB1 on this one.
Rather have the tests done privately, and get the full STI screening, including herpes, HPV, syphilis etc...
In addition, getting the test done by a doctor, should be followed up by a professional counselling session if anything comes up positive.
The fact that the home kit costs R25 and the full STI screen costs about R1000 or so when done through Lancet, I would not trust the home kit as much, as I wonder what is not being tested for, and what it picks up....
Just my 2c.
;)
C
Quote by KC_
I agree with Lee and PIB1 on this one.
Rather have the tests done privately, and get the full STI screening, including herpes, HPV, syphilis etc...
In addition, getting the test done by a doctor, should be followed up by a professional counselling session if anything comes up positive.
The fact that the home kit costs R25 and the full STI screen costs about R1000 or so when done through Lancet, I would not trust the home kit as much, as I wonder what is not being tested for, and what it picks up....
Just my 2c.
;)
C
If you have one partner you regularly play with, then I guess its ok, but what if you have a diff couple every month, should one then get the test at the doc each time ?
I refuse to play with any one even though I am into kink, if they are not tested, but people hardly ever can afford the R1000 each time ?
My husband wants to do oral, that is his thing, if it was sex one can use a condom, so now I am refusing to let him play, he is my subbie and must listen to me. but on the other hand I don't want to deny him fun just because im a pain about std.
I just know that we have been with each other for 15 years with no partners, we are clean.. and I will not kiss him if he does oral with woman.
Am I wrong ??
Amazon
I will tell you what I tell all my clients: If that's your boundary, that's your boundary.
If you feel this way, you need to have a relationship conversation with your partner.
You need to tell him, safety all the way or he loses out on the kissing and (if it is currently the case, unprotected sex with you too) until a full batch of tests returns negative, a minimum of 1 month after the event..
Simple. I highly doubt that he would choose oral with someone else, without a dental dam, if those were the stakes.
There is nothing wrong with a boundary. And you shouldn't be afraid to set them. They may move, it may depend on who you're playing with, but you're completely entitled to set that boundary.
If your partner is your subby he'll most likely be cool to follow your lead, but ensure that the conversation is a equal footing, relationship one rather than a sexual role one. You need to be clear that this is a safety and health thing rather than a domination thing. Keep the conversation open - like you would the one about your kink, and be plainly honest - maybe he has a solution you didn't think of 
Also if you're really keen on swinging, maybe choose to only participate in "long term friend/private group style swinging" rather than going to clubs and parties and dogging or masked events, where most everyone is a stranger.
Or maybe you compromise and say at those events, no oral, only sex with condoms; private friend group, different set of rules - or whatever you're comfortable with.
Also if you're really keen on swinging, maybe choose to only participate in "long term friend/private group style swinging" rather than going to clubs and parties and dogging or masked events, where most everyone is a stranger.
Or maybe you compromise and say at those events, no oral, only sex with condoms; private friend group, different set of rules - or whatever you're comfortable with. My partner is also my husband, who is also my sub...but he tends to loose his head easy so I always keep a eye out for him.
I have now changed my profile a bit, to include swinging with long term friends.. and I will not budge on the muffing unless we can trust the person/couple we play with on a reg basis.
I thought by making a profile for each of us it will work better, even though I have a link on both our profiles and I say I am married.. but im getting single men hassling me all the time and not so much couples.
For now im just chatting and making friends, the sex, play comes second to me taking care of my marriage and maintaining a healthy relationship with my husband.
thanks for the reply.
xx
I have now changed my profile a bit, to include swinging with long term friends.. and I will not budge on the muffing unless we can trust the person/couple we play with on a reg basis.
I thought by making a profile for each of us it will work better, even though I have a link on both our profiles and I say I am married.. but im getting single men hassling me all the time and not so much couples.
For now im just chatting and making friends, the sex, play comes second to me taking care of my marriage and maintaining a healthy relationship with my husband.
thanks for the reply.
xx
Quote by LeeEC
Amazon
I will tell you what I tell all my clients: If that's your boundary, that's your boundary.
If you feel this way, you need to have a relationship conversation with your partner.
You need to tell him, safety all the way or he loses out on the kissing and (if it is currently the case, unprotected sex with you too) until a full batch of tests returns negative, a minimum of 1 month after the event..
Simple. I highly doubt that he would choose oral with someone else, without a dental dam, if those were the stakes.
There is nothing wrong with a boundary. And you shouldn't be afraid to set them. They may move, it may depend on who you're playing with, but you're completely entitled to set that boundary.
If your partner is your subby he'll most likely be cool to follow your lead, but ensure that the conversation is a equal footing, relationship one rather than a sexual role one. You need to be clear that this is a safety and health thing rather than a domination thing. Keep the conversation open - like you would the one about your kink, and be plainly honest - maybe he has a solution you didn't think of
Also if you're really keen on swinging, maybe choose to only participate in "long term friend/private group style swinging" rather than going to clubs and parties and dogging or masked events, where most everyone is a stranger.
Or maybe you compromise and say at those events, no oral, only sex with condoms; private friend group, different set of rules - or whatever you're comfortable with.
Warming the Bed
Home Testing for HIV 
As far as i know theres nothing like this in the UK but even if there was theres never an excuse NOT TO USE CONDOMS
As far as i know theres nothing like this in the UK but even if there was theres never an excuse NOT TO USE CONDOMS @ Katniss
As I said before, it is okay to do the HIV Rapid testing BUT it is NOT really a good thing,Physically and MOST definitely NOT psychologically.
Most people forget the *window period* of HIV.
The The Rapid HIV test detects HIV antibodies in the blood. Most guys will develop enough HIV antibodies to be detected three to four weeks after infection.
Thus this means YOU might show up negative with this *home* test, and your play partners will feel comfortable just to be infected later and not understand why the test said negative.
MOST people forget all the other STD`s and even wearing a condom or using dams or gloves is NOT always effective to prevent STD`s.
We can take sides on what ever side we want to with any discussion on STD`s and HIV infections and the *safety*measures we take BUT the fact remains we will always be vulnerable and could get any of the above when we play with more than one partner.
Orgasminator
*pulls out a rare 2c coin*
Hiv/Aids tests do not replace save habits. Get to know your partner, their habits and background and make an informed decision. Condoms are a must but they don't replace safe habits. Also lab tests are not full prove either, human error means tubes can be swapped or reports misread. Play safe get tested if you suspect something or feel you took a risk.
