Don't be that guy!!

Rant start:

Where has common decency gone? You know, good old fashioned manners? Like when someone says good morning, you greet them back. Or if someone voices an opinion you don't agree with, you can actually agree to disagree....... who knew? Or even when someone sends you a message, you reply back, you know, that rudimentary stuff most our parents taught us when we were kids.

So we all know there is a plethora of diffrent personalities out there, especially in the lifestyle. The reality of the matter is, when chatting to new potential playmates, there is a very real chance that not everyone will find the other person sexually attractive. It is what it is, it is all part of the game.

Now here is where my pet peeves steps in:

When you still in the "getting-to-know each other" phase, when you are still sending a few messages back and forth, where everyone is still trying to get a better feel for each other. Should you find yourself in the situation where you do not find any chemistry, don't be a dick about it, man up, all you need to do is politely say to the person/other couple, "sorry guys, not feeling a connection here, thank you for your time" and everyone can go their merry way, it's actually that simple. No offense intended, and if the other person/s are indeed grown-ups, non shall be taken. Don't simply just stop replying to messages mid chat and ignore or ghost the other party, not only is that annoying AF, but that's just plain rude! The key here is to remember, it's not only about what YOU want out of the experience, there is another couple/single involved in the equation as well, and it's also about what they want from the experience. The challenge of course is to find the happy sexual equipoise, but that's a whole different discussion for another day.

You don't feel any chemistry, no problem, it's bound to happen somewhere along the line, but be open and honest about it. Don't waste the other people's time, or act like a chop. Be polite and simply bow out respectfully. Again, it's actually that simple.

You make initial contact and want to see a face pic of the other couple/person, you post one 1st, then ask for one, not the other way around. Don't get your panties in a bunch when the other party does not immediately jump at your demand to share a pic, although you haven't shared one yourself. Some people (us included) are reluctant to just share face pics after a simple "hallo, I'm Bob, how are you guys doing, can I have a face pice please?", and for a very good reason I might add. We are in no way or form, trying to mislead you in any way, I just want to get to know you first a bit, until I'm comfortable with you and your intentions. Again, it's not only about you and what YOU want.

You want to share sexy pics, that's super!! But first ask whether the other couple/person is comfortable with doing so. There are so many pic collectors and BS'ers in the lifestyle, thus some people don't like sharing sexy pics untill they've met you in person. Others want to get to know you a little first before sharing, whatever the reason may be, for their unwillingness, is actually totally irrelevant. Don't just sommer send a bunch of pics, then get all tweezer-lipped if the other party does not reciprocate. Again, it's not only about what YOU want, it's about what everyone is comfortable with.

You send someone a message, for Pete's sake, people have jobs, families, a life outside of the lifestyle, it is not always possible for them to answer a message immediately. Don't get miffed-out when people dare not drop everything they are doing, at that very minute, just to reply to your message. Yet again, it's not all about YOU.

So in short, don't be that guy, nobody likes that guy. Be polite, be considerate towards the other people you are interacting with. Act like a grown-up, be honest with people and respect their time, as much as you wish them to respect yours. Although we are all very cognizant as to why we are all here, please bear in mind, the other party/person, owes you ZIP, ZERO, NIKS, NADA, BOGGERALL, Skippy, so try cut them some slack.

Instead of demanding and insisting on things being done your way, perhaps consider finding some common ground with the other couple/single and who knows, your success rate, might just increase exponentially.😉

Ok rant over!

😬😬😬

It is amazing how far a little bit of manners, and maybe a dash of EQ can go...

Well said....

Sad thing is, what you have highlighted is lacking in everyday society, not just applicable here.

Quote by SDM
applicable

Unfortunately you are quite right.

Well said. Unfortunately there are a lot of time wasters on this site which makes one very despondent in messaging and reaching out to make new connections. I've had several interactions where all is going good on and then they just dissappear. Even after a coffee meet has been organised. It seems a lot of people lack any form of decency

Quote by Matt321

Well said. Unfortunately there are a lot of time wasters on this site which makes one very despondent in messaging and reaching out to make new connections. I've had several interactions where all is going good on and then they just dissappear. Even after a coffee meet has been organised. It seems a lot of people lack any form of decency

Same this side. Quite annoying to be honest. I think it's more a situation of not having the guts to follow through. Easy to chat on WA or even over the phone. Its fun and exciting, but once things become "real", people get cold feet.

So totally agree with this. My pet hate is, you reach out to someone and send a message. They read it, look at your profile and it ends there. The reality is someone took the time to send you a message, if you’re not interested then tell them that, rather than ignoring them. I find it blatantly rude. It’s like you’re putting your hand out to shake, and the other person looks you up and down and just ignores you. I think common decency is lacking with plenty of people on this site.

Quote by Dazza_81

So totally agree with this. My pet hate is, you reach out to someone and send a message. They read it, look at your profile and it ends there. The reality is someone took the time to send you a message, if you’re not interested then tell them that, rather than ignoring them. I find it blatantly rude. It’s like you’re putting your hand out to shake, and the other person looks you up and down and just ignores you. I think common decency is lacking with plenty of people on this site.

This is very relatable. I think a big issue is, people have no decency when writing a message. There's no "hi there" and them introducing themselves with what they like and are interested, I do this and get maybe 1 out of 20 people responding so who knows what others want 🤷‍♂️. People just send a message that is vile and think it'll work. So when people write a decent message and have taken the time to read someones profile before sending a message and get nothing in return its very annoying. I could say a lot more about people and their behaviour on this site but it'll cause a lot of upset

Well said , If everybody would just read this

Quote by Dazza_81

So totally agree with this. My pet hate is, you reach out to someone and send a message. They read it, look at your profile and it ends there. The reality is someone took the time to send you a message, if you’re not interested then tell them that, rather than ignoring them. I find it blatantly rude. It’s like you’re putting your hand out to shake, and the other person looks you up and down and just ignores you. I think common decency is lacking with plenty of people on this site.

Amen to that! Time wasters are rhe worst. My favorite is, "hi love your profile, can we chat perhaps?"

"Sure, heres our number/ " ....... silence.

Or when people just ghost you. You send a message or two andyou get the "sorry, just quickly busy with something, will reply shortly" ..... silence. A day or two later you send another message....... silence. Good lord thats annoying!

Quote by Matt321

This is very relatable. I think a big issue is, people have no decency when writing a message. There's no "hi there" and them introducing themselves with what they like and are interested, I do this and get maybe 1 out of 20 people responding so who knows what others want 🤷‍♂️. People just send a message that is vile and think it'll work. So when people write a decent message and have taken the time to read someones profile before sending a message and get nothing in return its very annoying. I could say a lot more about people and their behaviour on this site but it'll cause a lot of upset

Could not agree more!!! Cant seem to understand what the big issue is, a simple respectful reply will go a long way!

Quote by CuriosPair

Amen to that! Time wasters are rhe worst. My favorite is, "hi love your profile, can we chat perhaps?"

"Sure, heres our number/ " ....... silence.

Or when people just ghost you. You send a message or two andyou get the "sorry, just quickly busy with something, will reply shortly" ..... silence. A day or two later you send another message....... silence. Good lord thats annoying!

Absolutely agree. Anyway!!!!

Quote by CuriosPair

Where has common decency gone? Good old fashioned manners? Like when someone says good morning, you greet them back. Or if someone voices an opinion you don't agree with, you can actually agree to disagree. Or even when someone sends you a message, you reply, you know, that rudimentary stuff most our parents taught us when we were kids.

So we all know there is a plethora of diffrent personalities out there, especially in the LS, the reality of the matter is, when chatting to new potential playmates, there is a real chance that not everyone will find the other person sexually attractive. It is what it is, it is all part of the game.

Now here is where my pet peeves steps in:

When you still in the "getting-to-know each other" phase, you know, when you are still sending a few messages back and forth, where everyone is still trying to get a better feel for each other, should you find yourself in the situation where you do not find any chemistry, don't be a dick about it, man the hell up! Politely say to the person/other couple, "sorry guys, not feeling a connection here" and everyone can go their merry way, it's that simple. Don't just stop replying to messages, mid chat and ignore or ghost the other party, not only is that annoying AF, but that's just plain rude! Remember, it's not only about what YOU want out of the experience, there is another couple/single involved in the equation as well, and it's also about what they want from the experience. The challenge of course is to find the happy sexual equipoise, but that's a whole different discussion for another day.

You don't feel any chemistry, no problem, it's bound to happen somewhere along the line, but be open and honest about it, be polite and simply bow out respectfully. Don't waste the other people's time, or act like a chop. Again, it's actually that simple.

You make initial contact and want to see a face pic of the other couple/person, you post one 1st, then ask for one, not the other way around. Don't get your panties in a bunch when the other party does not immediately jump at your demand to share a pic, although you haven't shared one yourself. Some people (us included) are reluctant to just share face pics after a simple "hallo, how you guys doing?", and for a very good reason, I might add. I'm in no way or form trying to mislead you in any way, I just want to get to know you first a bit. Again, it's not only about YOU.

You want to share sexy pics, thats super!! But ask whether the other couple/person is comfortable with sharing pics first. Some people don't like sharing sexy pics untill they've met you in person. Others again want to get to know you a little first, whatever the reason may be is actually totally irrelevant. Don't just sommer send a bunch of pics, then get all tweezer-lipped if the other party does not reciprocate. Again, it's not only about what YOU want, it's about what everyone is comfortable with.

You send someone a message, for Pete's sake, people have jobs, families, a life outside of the lifestyle, it is not always possible for them to answer a message immediately. Don't get miffed-out when people dare not drop everything they are doing, at that very minute, just to reply to your message. Yet again, it's not all about YOU.

So in short, don't be that guy, nobody likes that guy. Be polite, be considerate towards the other people/person you are interacting with. Act like a grown-up, be honest with people and respect their time, as much as you wish them to respect yours. Remember one thing, the other party/person you are interacting with, owes you ZIP, ZERO, NIKS, NADA, so try cut them some slack. Instead of demanding and insisting on things being done your way, perhaps consider finding some mutual grounds and who knows, your success rate, might just increase exponentially.

Ok rant over!

😬😬😬

Well sayd