I just commented on a SITE HELP forum that wonders if OLD inactive profiles should not be removed.
This made me think about something that REALLY bothers me!!!!
Disappearing people!!! OR people/profiles that are active and then one day they are just not here anymore.
Or they log in very infrequently!!!
Here in forums we see and experience this very regularly!!!
and I for one always sent a flirt or little message to that person/profile just so they know i am noticing their absence.
Some I never hear back from, Some does reply.
Sad situation this, Why do people do this??? Just up and disappear???
Oh I know, just forgotten that they get bored and move on...that is life yeah?
A week ago I wrote Adonis to inquire where they have gone,NO reply.......in the end I went to ask in the chat room if someone know where they are!!! Lucky they have only been on holiday!!!!and no disaster has befallen them.
As I find it really disconcerting when a active profile just ups and disappears!!!
And we do not know why.
Am I to nosy??
maybe.....
But I know when I had my knee replacement a few years ago...I had a few people phoning,writing, and yeah some even visited me in hospital. Some are people whom I just knew by mail, some only a few days......and not really even considered as friends.
BUT a handful of people whom I really considered *friends* as we met and yeah I played with them,did NOT even phone or write to say they are thinking of me ,even after I did post a little note on my profile *I will be off line for a few days due to going into hospital.*
NEEDLESS to say they are NOT my *friends* anymore... I think of them a selfish and self serving only!!!
I may be wrong in my way of thinking of cause,but I am not that inconsiderate and I always like to believe the best of someone until proven wrong.
I know that here on site *friends* are just people whom wants into your pants or wants something from you, but eish can we not be more considerate?
I always appreciate it if a profile says bye or say they are taking a break,then we who are left behind, knows there is no deaths or sickness preventing them to log in.
Of cause we can not do anything about illness or deaths or what ever, but we might just light a little candle to wish them well and even if they do not know this is being done for them.
My believe is that the positive thoughts I sent their way by lighting a little thought candle,will reach them and help in what ever distress they might be.
I will always try and send a little message to say I think of them, sometimes it is just what someone needs to hear to brighten their day.
Why can we not be more considerate and humane??? Why can we not just let people know we do care what happens to them.
EVEN if we are not real life friends.
And why do profiles just up and leave with out a word????
Eish!!!!!!!! Just me rambling a bit......
Join the most popular community of South African swingers now
Login
Disappearing.....
last reply
11 replies
1.2k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Quote by Pussinboots1
Disappearing people!!! OR people/profiles that are active and then one day they are just not here anymore.
Sad situation this, Why do people do this??? Just up and disappear???
But I know when I had my knee replacement a few years ago....... some people did NOT even phone or write to say they are thinking of me ,even after I did post a little note on my profile *I will be off line for a few days due to going into hospital.*
...... but eish can we not be more considerate?
I always appreciate it if a profile says bye or say they are taking a break,then we who are left behind, knows there is no deaths or sickness preventing them to log in.
Why can we not be more considerate and humane??? Why can we not just let people know we do care what happens to them. EVEN if we are not real life friends.
And why do profiles just up and leave with out a word????
Hi PiB!, I know I have edited your quote above (to shorten the post), but I have left in the bits that I want to comment on.
I agree fully with your sentiments. I have had this same experience, and have also felt a real "loss" at the termination of the friendships. At least with our mutual friend who left the site, she sent me a PM mail a month before she intended to leave, saying she was going to be doing so and explaining why, and we were able to correspond that way until she left, exchanged personal email addresses, and then corresponded via personal email for a while afterwards. But there have been a couple of others, where the profile just suddenly "disappeared", with no means of continuing the connection. Sad! Very sad...
I must say, if I had been your friend at the time of your knee op, I would likely have been one of those who was blissfully unaware that you were going to be off-line for a while, unless you had messaged me personally or posted on the forum. I would have been one of those "wondering what has happened to PiB?", maybe sent you a PM or two asking "where are you?" and noticed that the message had not been opened, but never have known to visit you in hospital. You know that I look at your profile very regularly (whenever you change your pictures!!), but I am only looking at your new pics, and not actually re-reading your profile, so wouldn't have picked up the additional message, I am afraid.
When another of our friends who has been a regular contributor on the forum stopped contributing for a while, it took me probably a couple of weeks to realise - hey, I haven't seen HIM around for a long time, and could at least phone him as I had his number, to find that he has been quite ill and incapacitated, and been unable to get onto the site as he used to.
So yeah, there may be issues of ill-health or even the possibility of death (for us "older generation" folks, or even those who spend a lot of time at risk on the roads...) that results in profiles becoming inactive. I also tend to be one of the "caring / nurturing" types, who likes people to be well and comfortable and cared for, so for me, a friendship on SH, just as on Facebook, is actually a "real" friendship. And if something happens to you guys, I'd like to know about it, and know if there is anything I can do to help in any way.... That's just who I am!
Pussinboots1 wrote:
Disappearing people!!! OR people/profiles that are active and then one day they are just not here anymore.
That is why when we had to *disappear* for a while from the site last year I put a post in the forum and send a short mail to those I valued as *close* friends on the site. They also had our of site mail if wished to continue chatting.
Having only a handful of *friends* on the site I actually quickly notice when one of them disappears. It happened with a single gent whom we we're friends with, luckily as in Redbruce's case I had his number since we sometimes each other. He simply had been lucky enough to find a lady friend also into the lifestyle and they are now on as a couple!
Worst is when you think you have a real connection and are keen to meet up only to find they've vanished!
Warming the Bed
Hi Pib1 I like the topic. Its strange how people just vanish. I am 1 of those people that daily read the forum and not always coment. I look at ur pics daily lol. Its kinda hard 4 single guys on the site not many people want to play with the guys or chat to them it might be 1 reason why some of the guys dissapear. If I lived in capetown I would have certainly come and visit u in hospital or send u flowers or a get well card. Ur a very insightful woman thanx 4 ur contributions and all u other forum bunnies . Thanks. Can I have the honour of caling u my friend pib1 ?
Firsts of all I want to thank everyone who commented on this forum, it was just me rambling away really.
Just an explanation needed maybe??
I was NOT complaining about the people who did not phone or visit me when I went to hospital.
I was trying to explain how no one takes an interest in each of us here or any other site,when /they disappear.a
And I wondered if anyone else also notice these things ,and ever inquire about profiles sudden disappearances.
I am glad to see that Redbruce and Erotic_Nauty is like me...and Do notice when profiles are suddenly quiet and just makes me feel less that the busybody and nosy person that I am.
And I am glad they also feel *the loss* me feel less lonesome really.
@ Daddy/K_and_S1..Nope I did not mean you guys did not get any interests...I know you did,by reading your forums and comments on forums.
@ Redbruce I know the lady also let me know via mail she is going away and do sometime still say *Hi* and catch up with each other on another site.
Yes, I also missed *voyeur* and his quirky comments, but also knows he had big operations.
@ Erotic_Nauty It is sad when people hook up and become a couple that they forget to let people know about that status change.
You were one of the ladies/couples that took the time to let us all know you guys are going to take a break,just as you said Hi when you came back.
NOW that is what I am talking about, how things should be done. Especially in forums where we are a lot of people taking an interest in each other.
@ Valdonumuller of course you can consider me as a remember anyone`s contributions and comments are valued and more than welcome in forums. That is how we learn to know each other,over come differences,can differ in opinions,can even change our own way of thinking,about somethings.
A persons comments show a lot of who we are and how we each think really.
We also disappeared for a while cause Dee was in an accident with his bike and he was hurt. Then just as he was getting better, his mom died. so after all the hurt and heartache, we came back. but Dee is still not his old self yet. we went through alot in the last couple of months and just like you, PIB, we realised who Our real friends are.
Orgasminator
This is the problem, trying to separate the true leavers from those who are temporarily absent. Maybe we need an admin we can speak to and ask them to sent a private message to the guy. No log in back to the site but a plain direct E-mail and then hope for the best. Hope this makes sense, my engrish skils aren't always so good.
Orgasminator
Op Mike_Pta se reaksie, Die meeste van die mense het net aan gesluit en dit was omtrent die laaste keer wat hy op die site was.
Ek glo Pib se argument het baie meriete, maar weereens as jy gaan kyk na die mense wat 90 dae en langer nie meer op die site verskyn nie is dit mense wat in elk geval nooit aktief was nie. Ek is van mening as Admin een of twee betroubare Mods opdrag gee met duidelike riglyne kan hierdie probleem baie maklik op gelos word.
Maar al hierdie voorstelle gaan niks help nie want Admin stel nie belang om hierdie mense te verwyder nie want dit laat hulle lede getalle swak lyk en dit is tot nadeel vir hulle "image".
Ek glo daar is net so 'n sterk saak uit te maak as mense met meer as een profiel. Hoe kan jy in een profiel getroud wees en die ander een ongetroud en die twee verwys nie na mekaar nie. Die nuutste tendens is maak 'n profiel oop in elke provinsie oop om watter rede jy bly verseker nie in elke provinsie nie.
As jy verder na lede getalle kyk let op dat 'n "couple" as twee lede getel word, maak dit sin.
Ongelukkig tel jy bogenoemde tendense in die meeste sites op waar toegang gratis is.
