I am about to share my most intimate of intimates...
I can not finish quickly, no matter how hard I try. 15 minutes is a quickie for me and it happens few and far between. I can count on one hand the amount of times that I have been able to finish in less than 5! Average time seems to be the 30 - 40 minute mark. Often an hour and longer, 2 hours is no exception! After my lady has been through the roof twice or three times, I often give up - happy that she got hers. Problem is that she insists I finish too every time. I sometimes end up pounding away relentlessly to reach that end result. I can feel that she gets bored once she has had two or more climaxes. Do I brag or do I worry?
This has always been something that I have been proud of - not being a "2 minute" man. I have known what premature ejaculation is, but only recently heard about delayed ejaculation and that it is as much a problem as premature ejaculation. Could this be the diagnosis for me? Am I stud or a man with a medical condition? A bit worried that something may be wrong with the plumbing or am I just being paranoid?
Join the most popular community of South African swingers now
Login
Delayed ejaculation or stamina??
Orgasminator
Think you are only bragging, sorry
Quote by Adonis
Think you are only bragging, sorry
You know that it has its down sides... I was woken up at 2 am this morning and offered a birthday bj... I gladly accepted. My poor girl gave her best efforts for 23 minutes!!!! Surprised she never got lock jaw! Not as good a thing as it sounds. I would also love to experience a quickie in change room at a mall but cant because we will be in there for long enough to raise suspicions...
Orgasminator
All in the mind my friend all in the mind
Orgasminator
I've heard of this problem and as far as I'm aware there can very well be medical related issues at work.
I would consult a professional, even if its just to ensure all is well and you missed your calling in the porn industry.
. because if I had asked this question some people would have nailed me again against across. Cannot wait to hear the answer to your question.
JoyriderIt is not really bragging..or should not be,as it very well can be a medical condition.
Most men ejaculate within a few minutes of starting to thrust during intercourse.
Men with delayed ejaculation may be unable to ejaculate or may only be able to ejaculate with great effort after having intercourse for a long time (for example, 30 to 45 minutes)just as you describe, Stamina.
Delayed ejaculation can have psychological or physical causes.
Go and see your doctor, if it is anything physical it can be treated..if it is psychological ,well that is also treatable(after you have identified the problem)....but it takes more dedication and openness to discuss your sexual experiences with a they will ask to see you and your lover together.
You can do a little test at home, use a vibrator(those bullet vibrators are okay for this, move it up and down on your shaft and hold it against the frenulum of your penis..., better yet,if you have 2 bullet vibrators,place one under your testicles and use the other one on your penis) on yourself and see if you also take 30 to 45 minutes to cum.
But do go and see your doctor....specially if your lover gets BORED waiting for you to cum.
and oh yeah, nearly forgot... HAPPY BIRTHDAY , Hope you have a wonderful year.!!!!!!!
Quote by Pussinboots1
It is not really bragging..or should not be,as it very well can be a medical condition.
Most men ejaculate within a few minutes of starting to thrust during intercourse.
Men with delayed ejaculation may be unable to ejaculate or may only be able to ejaculate with great effort after having intercourse for a long time (for example, 30 to 45 minutes)just as you describe, Stamina.
Delayed ejaculation can have psychological or physical causes.
Go and see your doctor, if it is anything physical it can be treated..if it is psychological ,well that is also treatable(after you have identified the problem)....but it takes more dedication and openness to discuss your sexual experiences with a they will ask to see you and your lover together.
You can do a little test at home, use a vibrator(those bullet vibrators are okay for this, move it up and down on your shaft and hold it against the frenulum of your penis..., better yet,if you have 2 bullet vibrators,place one under your testicles and use the other one on your penis) on yourself and see if you also take 30 to 45 minutes to cum.
But do go and see your doctor....specially if your lover gets BORED waiting for you to cum.
and oh yeah, nearly forgot... HAPPY BIRTHDAY , Hope you have a wonderful year.!!!!!!!
Will take that advice... I believe I may just be paranoid but no harm in checking it out. Maybe if the threesome ever happens, it might change this - he he he... Thanks for the Birthday wish!!
Master of Sex
Maybe I shouldn't be saying this but I love that lol. But there are ways and spots to make you "release" faster.
How many rooms are there in a woman's virgina?
Well, I don't know. I've only been up and down the passage.
I pretty much have the same problem as you Stamina and often get moaned at by Nimfie and our playmates.
I'm sometimes a 10 minute man and it is then found amusing but mostly I go on for at least 45.
Often I end up without getting and orgasm but that is just fine by me, as I get a much bigger kick out of seeing others on cloud nine.
When everyone has run out of physical stamina, I sometimes haven't run out of sexual stamina.
Nimfie is use to it by now. In the beginning our playmates sometimes felt that they had failed and we had to assure them that I got what I was looking for.
Things that helps to bring on the finale of us:
1) If the Girl lies on her back or stomach with her legs clinched together and you sit up with your legs over her hips/thighs. You cannot go as deep but the increased pressure normally helps bring on the end. In our case I'm then more likely to rub the G spot so Nimfie also finds it intense.
2) Oral sex. This only brings mental excitement for a willing lady.
3) Anal sex. In our case both can still have an awesome orgasm(or orgasms for the lady) but it has taken us years to get it right.
4) If all else fails, a hand job. Providing her arms doesn't fall off.
Often I'll get the: I don't have any more response.
As mentioned, we do this because we like the enjoyment we see in others, so once there are signs of a loss of interest, we normally rather stop.
Friends told us that in Behind The Scenes Footage they saw of porn movies, it is sometimes necessary to use beaten up raw egg whites running out of the girls mouth to simulate guys cumming as they are just unable get to an end.
Over the years we have proven that, with me it is about 80% mind and 20% physical. I need a few good sessions in a row but the more worked up I get, the less likely I am to orgasm. Obviously one of the many wiring mistakes in my brain. We are therefore not too concerned about it, as it has proven to cause no lasting physical problems.
Stamina if you are concerned, you are welcome to see a Doctor but this conditions in it's self caries no real danger. If however you are stuck with an erection for many hours (Priapism) it can cause gangrene. Priapism is not considered a sexual condition.
As you are 11 years younger than me, you are likely to have this problem for a long time to CUM.
Coming back to the riddle: Going up and down the passage all the time can become tedious and that is why we are seeking new and interesting (but safe) ways to play.
I've been doing a little reading. . Apparently most often the problem is easily fixed.
Sexual process goes: desire; arousal; orgasm.
Most premature and delayed ejaculation problems are caused by not enough arousal. So boys apparently you need to slow down in the beginning to get a better end.
My source: Sex, Lies & Relationships by Ruth Simons
Sexual process goes: desire; arousal; orgasm.
Most premature and delayed ejaculation problems are caused by not enough arousal. So boys apparently you need to slow down in the beginning to get a better end.
My source: Sex, Lies & Relationships by Ruth Simons
I have not read the Book by Ruth Simons , not to be confused with the famous Dr Ruth (Karola Ruth Siegel aka Ruth Westheimer) but from the description of the book on: It does not seem to apply in our (Nimfie & me) case. As I mentioned above the bigger the build up / arousal, the longer the delay generally is for me.
I find the following sites more informative: According to these sites it apparently affects 3% to 5% of men on a long term basis.
Likely causes of this condition can be:
Psychological:
Issues such as religious background.
Lack of attraction to your partner
Anxiety and depression
traumatic sexual experience
Medical:
Medication such as antidepressants
Spinal and pelvic injuries. (I did have a spinal injury and had surgery)
If no ejaculation is possible at all, there is normally a significant medical condition such as a blockage present that should receive attention but may be untreatable.
Although not on the list I believe I mentally conditioned myself in my 20's to perform in this manner, as I enjoyed experiencing multiple orgasms with my partner.
The complications of this condition can be:
Avoidance of sexual contact
Inhibited sexual desire
Conflict in the relationship
Decreased sexual pleasure
Sexual anxiety
Infertility due to lack of insemination
It comes down to this, if there are no severe medical conditions and both partners are ok with or enjoy the amount of time spent on intercourse, no further corrective action needs to be taken. The condition can get worse over time.
If it does add stress to the relationship, therapy and in some cases medication options may help.
I wonder what these two Dr's Ruth would have to say about Fetishes, Kink and Swinging in general?
Verdict...
I had mini me checked out by a "female" urologist on Saturday. She had a French accent and a milfy body - wow!! We dduced quite early in the examination that the plumbing "responds" just fine to touch. What a luck!! Not having my goods fondled by a fat bald male saying "its all professional"... Ok, sorry, drifting off the point here - he he he...
All in order physically. Tubes and pipes and things are functioning at a "optimum level". So it is not physical. I doubt it is stress and such as this has always been the case... Since the early days when the mere glimpse of a females shoulder blade gave me a boner. Not hormonal I think. My girl has a tightness that any man would give his left ball to feel, she is extremely sexy. She is a mynx in the sack. Etc... So she is not the problem. I have no difficulty with getting aroused. I have noticed that when doing positions that I find "boring", that is mostly when I take very long. We discussed it and according to her, the two years - our average time seems to be around 1hour including foreplay. Foreplay is around 20 minutes. She says she does not get bored when I take long but things get a bit sensitive when she has climaxed and I continue.
So everything seems normal and I think I should just accept that I take longer than average. I just hope that if a meet with a lady ever happens and the illusive threesome occurs, that the opposite does not happen and I explode at 1:30!!
Not going to do the therapy thing. I am ok and don't need someone charging me R1000 an hour to tell me what is going on in my own head. When I do the horizontal mambo, I think of nothing but what is happening at that moment. Maybe I should do the egg white thing and fake my orgasms.. Bwaa haaaa haa...
Orgasminator
Stamina now that you had your answer on this problem, you van start with the next problem. Its very interesting how many things can go wrong with one person in life.
We learn a lot out of the advice received from all the professional people on the site. Score a lot of money the free advice.
Hi Stamina - one thing I think is worth pointing out - Arousal does NOT equal an erection. A woman can be wet (physically ready) without being actually mentally aroused - as is the case for men who have spontaneous erections - nothing to do with level of arousal.
So it got a lot to do with WHERE your head is at - your comment about certain positions being "boring" seems to add weight to this comment too.
So try a game of positions - get a reference (an app, a book from the library or something like that) and try out 20 positions noting which create more or less arousal for you, giving you more or less control over the results.
The next exercise you can try is give each other challenges to "turn each other on" mentally alternating weekly (your turn one week, her turn the next), to get each other as hotted up as possible without actually engaging in any physical contact for the first hour! Then rate each other's efforts and note what gets you most excited (SHARE THE INFO WITH EACH OTHER!!)
Besides being fun - these games guarantee more fun and the regular firing up of the sex centers of the brain - ALWAYS good for ya! And seriously - what have you got to lose? MORE sex?!
Ditto Stamina
I want to thank you all for making me realise that this is not necessarily a good thing.
The books I read way back then made no mention of this but only promoted the ability.
My situation has arisen from mentally conditioning myself to keeping up with the girl that earned the nickname "Nimfie" (Afrikaans for Nimfo) 24 years ago.
As life took its twists and turns, we have both had periods of low libido, I can now see how this has complicated things. None the less for us it has mostly had a positive effect.
We have discussed it and wish to keep the status quo. Our current playmates also like things the way they are, so we always make sure we have plenty of time when we get together.
As for arousal we often start with naughty messages during the day and I love it if she sneaks of to the rest room at work to send me a fresh naught pic of some kind.
When it gets up close and personal we intensify the naughty dialog and share fantasies, although since we started swinging many have turned into reality.
We often use toys, both internal and external. We like things that cause a tingle, such as sprinklings of cold water and sometimes do things that have us end up with some red marks . We seldom get to penetration before she has had a orgasm or two. We often look for new ideas but find that planning a session does not really work for us, so we'll have a basic idea and let things spontaneously evolve.
Generally we'll keep the energy going for a few day and then turn out attention to other things.
We try to have a build up in the days leading to a play date.
Ah, you see! Stamina seems to always have been this way, but Pieman appears to have trained himself this way. .. I know several guys who have done this. If it works for that's cool. .. but if it doesn't. . Well learning the art of seduction should improve ones control- so you last long when you want to not just as a default setting. I sincerely hope that worn time you can get the driving wheel back in your hands Stamina.
Always been this way yes... I was worried because now there is a "diagnosis" for it. But then again, there is a diagnosis for everything now-a-days. Every thing seems to be a medical condition and gets a name attached to it. For the most part, I think it is a good thing as I have never had to face the embarrassment of exploding after a minute. On the other hand, I do sometimes want to just bend her over the dining room table and thrust 10 times to a quick finish and leave her wanting - like a teaser... One really good thing, she gets something out of it every time - rather than occasionally. Its the times that I have to stop or give up after an hour that get to me but I think those are mostly because Katie is a little nympho!! She wants twice a day - everyday! So often, I am not in the mood but have to keep her satisfied and its mostly those times that I go for an extended period and sometimes don't finish. She does sometimes blame herself and thinks she does not do it for me... Has she seen herself??? Definitely not her!!
@ Jonathan.. Cut yes. Helmets rule, skins drool.. He he he..
I did like Lee`s input on how to seduce and play games...and NOT having sex for a period of time so the teasing is foreplay in when it is time for the release, it would be more explosive and out of this world.
Being cut is also of course a reason for having more control. Men with foreskin is WAY more sensitive. BUT take it from me, someone who loves playing with cocks....men with foreskin on can do and tease so much more. A foreskin itself is a play in itself.I would not be able to choose if had to choose,both have their merits
Good hygiene is just a MUST for foreskin owners.
If one is not worried about long release why go see a Doc..but better to set your mind at ease when you do worry...medical advice is the way to go. Glad you did go see a urologist but how about going to a sexologist next?? if it starts bothering you next time around.
Quote by Pussinboots1
I did like Lee`s input on how to seduce and play games...and NOT having sex for a period of time so the teasing is foreplay in when it is time for the release, it would be more explosive and out of this world.
Being cut is also of course a reason for having more control. Men with foreskin is WAY more sensitive. BUT take it from me, someone who loves playing with cocks....men with foreskin on can do and tease so much more. A foreskin itself is a play in itself.I would not be able to choose if had to choose,both have their merits
Good hygiene is just a MUST for foreskin owners.
If one is not worried about long release why go see a Doc..but better to set your mind at ease when you do worry...medical advice is the way to go. Glad you did go see a urologist but how about going to a sexologist next?? if it starts bothering you next time around.
Sexologist? Where do I find one of those? That sounds interesting. The problem (if it is one) is not physical as determined so that sounds like good advice. I am more curious than worried I think. If only in the interest of research, I would love to learn more about what factors control and determine the time it takes to reach climax.
Not able to help there sorry.
I am in CPT but if you ask here or in an advert maybe , Maybe someone will pop up with the right referral.
I know it is always the best to talk to people who can recommend you to someone,the best people to do so usually it will be ex clients or co workers of an sexologist.
I know a few and here you might balk at the idea....psychologist and psychiatrist`s who also does *sexual* sadly they are all based in it might help you locate someone if you are not just looking for a sexologist in your area but also for psychologist and psychiatrist`s, heck use the yellow pages, or google.
Remember you need not worry, they will not do anything you do not like, just go for an introduction and ask for few referrals until you are happy with a/the person you can talk too.
