okay here is a question.
I am sure this has happened to someone. And then how to you respond?
You walking in a shop you see a good looking lady and you can not stop looking because you like what you see. Now do you walk up to her and give her a compliment on how hot she looks or not.
You see there is 3 things that can go wrong. First he/she is with he/her partner and when you give the compliment he/she looses his/her cool and there the shit hits the fan or you give him/her a compliment and he/she thinks you are asking her to go to bed with you, which is not the case. Or your own partner gets upset with you because you are giving another person a compliment.
Or the person you give the compliment gives you a very nasty answer back.
So do you keep you compliments to yourself or not?
Joyrider
Now I am at a loss of words
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Compliment Or Not
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Morning...
I frequently compliment complete strangers.
I am so far lucky that I never get shot down or my compliment is never seen as a threat or as sexual harassment.
I compliment strangers when I see..
Really good cared hands and nails.
Really hot and sexy shoes
Nice displayed bellybutton rings/nose rings.
Tattoo`s
Nice hair.
or a nice car or bike.
I think it is in the way you approach a stranger and how you deliver your compliment,that decides on what you receive back.
I mostly get smiles and a honest *Thanks*
I sometimes encounter moody,tired looking harried, worried looking people who help me in shops,bank,or where ever....
I then pop into the nearest shop and buy a KIT-KAT chocolate,then go back to that person and present it to them with a smile.
( you all remember that advert...*take a break have a kit-kat)
You guys should try that sometimes, it opens up a whole new world of smiles.
BUT only in sexually charged atmosphere situation like a party,or social will I give someone a sexual intended compliment.
NEVER NEVER in a vanilla situation ever.
Forgot....My GF is used to me doing strange *things* so there is no jealous reaction from her ever.
I think the response you get is directly related to how different the the two strangers see
the definition of what an appropriate "compliment" to a perfect stranger might look like;
To explain:Say I am that stranger; if I think it's okay for you to comment on my cute ass and that's what you do, then my reaction is going to be quite positive, however if I do not think that is an appropriate way to address a perfect stranger, then you will not get a very positive reaction.
The thing is - that person is a STRANGER! So you don't know anything about what they think is appropriate, so if you take the risk of making a sexually charged or over familiar or lewd comment, which you might think is fine* then you must be willing to accept whatever consequences come your way. That is the deal. So if you never want to get slapped then don't ever cross the "sexual" line in an interaction with someone you don't really know. Alternatively if you're single and you kinda want to go there, do so very slowly and cautiously... or practice dodging projectiles regularly because you'll need that skill if you pick someone who has really well defined ideas of appropriate behaviour.
(* like telling someone that they look hot is actually a sexual compliment, even if you didn't think it was - trust me - it's sexual.)
On the note of partners: One of the key things guys DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE TO THEMSELVES AND REGULARLY ACT ON IN THEIR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS* is that there was a recipe of sorts, to get that woman of yours - you had to date her and attract her, but most of you stopped doing about 80% of that stuff, soon as you 'caught' her. Thing is, we woman LOVE to be desired and wanted by our partners - it's what makes us WANT sex from you.
If you are ONLY going around complimenting strangers and she feels you NEVER (very seldom) pay any of that kind of attention to her efforts to look good and dress nicely for you (by commenting and complimenting her in the same way!) , then she feels like you are ONLY looking at them and wanting them and therefore NOT wanting her - nothing makes a woman NOT INTERESTED in sex quicker than a man who is not interested in her specifcally. She needs to feel like you CHOOSE her - again and again - over those other chicks that you think are hot - then she will WANT you! All the time! and not care if you look at other women and think they are hot because you keep making her feel like; whatever they look like; you still want HER more than you want them!
(*even if you all nod now, you still probably don't think about this on a daily basis and act accordingly on this information - so next time a mate whines about not getting enough - ask him how nicely he has been asking for it :haha: )
the definition of what an appropriate "compliment" to a perfect stranger might look like;
To explain:Say I am that stranger; if I think it's okay for you to comment on my cute ass and that's what you do, then my reaction is going to be quite positive, however if I do not think that is an appropriate way to address a perfect stranger, then you will not get a very positive reaction.
The thing is - that person is a STRANGER! So you don't know anything about what they think is appropriate, so if you take the risk of making a sexually charged or over familiar or lewd comment, which you might think is fine* then you must be willing to accept whatever consequences come your way. That is the deal. So if you never want to get slapped then don't ever cross the "sexual" line in an interaction with someone you don't really know. Alternatively if you're single and you kinda want to go there, do so very slowly and cautiously... or practice dodging projectiles regularly because you'll need that skill if you pick someone who has really well defined ideas of appropriate behaviour.
(* like telling someone that they look hot is actually a sexual compliment, even if you didn't think it was - trust me - it's sexual.)
On the note of partners: One of the key things guys DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE TO THEMSELVES AND REGULARLY ACT ON IN THEIR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS* is that there was a recipe of sorts, to get that woman of yours - you had to date her and attract her, but most of you stopped doing about 80% of that stuff, soon as you 'caught' her. Thing is, we woman LOVE to be desired and wanted by our partners - it's what makes us WANT sex from you.
If you are ONLY going around complimenting strangers and she feels you NEVER (very seldom) pay any of that kind of attention to her efforts to look good and dress nicely for you (by commenting and complimenting her in the same way!) , then she feels like you are ONLY looking at them and wanting them and therefore NOT wanting her - nothing makes a woman NOT INTERESTED in sex quicker than a man who is not interested in her specifcally. She needs to feel like you CHOOSE her - again and again - over those other chicks that you think are hot - then she will WANT you! All the time! and not care if you look at other women and think they are hot because you keep making her feel like; whatever they look like; you still want HER more than you want them!
(*even if you all nod now, you still probably don't think about this on a daily basis and act accordingly on this information - so next time a mate whines about not getting enough - ask him how nicely he has been asking for it :haha: )
Sexpert
Chatting to strangers let alone complimenting them is all about timing , when an opportunity presents itself then and only then can you say something.
Sex God
Quote by LeeEC
On the note of partners: One of the key things guys DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE TO THEMSELVES AND REGULARLY ACT ON IN THEIR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS* is that there was a recipe of sorts, to get that woman of yours - you had to date her and attract her, but most of you stopped doing about 80% of that stuff, soon as you 'caught' her. Thing is, we woman LOVE to be desired and wanted by our partners - it's what makes us WANT sex from you.
If you are ONLY going around complimenting strangers and she feels you NEVER (very seldom) pay any of that kind of attention to her efforts to look good and dress nicely for you (by commenting and complimenting her in the same way!) , then she feels like you are ONLY looking at them and wanting them and therefore NOT wanting her - nothing makes a woman NOT INTERESTED in sex quicker than a man who is not interested in her specifcally. She needs to feel like you CHOOSE her - again and again - over those other chicks that you think are hot - then she will WANT you! All the time! and not care if you look at other women and think they are hot because you keep making her feel like; whatever they look like; you still want HER more than you want them!
(*even if you all nod now, you still probably don't think about this on a daily basis and act accordingly on this information - so next time a mate whines about not getting enough - ask him how nicely he has been asking for it :haha: )
Sad thing is that this is true.
Men are always told to respect women and treat them as human beings (intelligent mature human beings that is) but we are also expected to do what is mentioned above . . . . . . . wait, put that noose away and listen first . . .
yes, a man should be treating his lady as best he can, yes a man should be wanting his lady of choice to look her best (as she with him) and yes, a man should not really be focusing on any other lady and her looks when he has his own.
My only issue with the above is that is seems to me like we are treating these intelligent, mature ladies as children, is it not really undermining their intelligence by telling them how they look in order to get their pants off? That would back fire on the man eventually just as easily as not complimenting her enough . . . . . .
Ok, so now I'm not sure if I made myself clear or not, but spoken I have . . . .
Sex God
Quote by joyrider
okay looks like some miss understanding.
I am referring to you see a good looking lady in the spar do you walk up to her and tell her she is good looking or not?
Joyrider
Wanting to know if it is okay or just wrong
In Sunny South Africa, probably not a good idea to walk up to a stranger in a public place such as the Spar and say something nice. It is highly unlikely to be taken in a friendly way.
So I just make it clear that I think she is good looking with an approving "look or smile". . . . . . . she may have a jealous partner behind her somewhere and you end up making the rest of her day very difficult.
By all means will I walk up to a stranger in spar and say something.....no harm in that...BUT THEN I am not a male,males might not get away with it , I am also not young or good looking,so I do sort of look a wolf is sheep's clothes LOL
Like I explained I will not compliment a lady or gent on their LOOKS, as it is sexual, even if with out intend,and I could face a lawsuit of sexual harassment, but I will find something nice on someone to compliment,if I find something nice about someone.
Sexpert
in a spar standing at the checkout i saw a sexy lady looking at the chocolates so i said go ahead buy it , one chocolate is not going to harm that beautiful body....she smiled said thank you bought the chocolate and just about spotting the opportunity.
Don't you think it is a nice confident booster for your self if a complete stranger walks up to you and says you look nice today? Sometime it is just what a person need at that moment in time.
I mean these day we would get in a lift in a building and not one person will even look in another persons direction let alone say good day to anyone.
That is why we have road rag. Just by smiling at someone or saying you look nice makes a big difference to some people.
Or am I wrong again?
Joyrider
Trying to make it work
Orgasminator
Ek se maklik vir 'n vrou in 'n winkel of 'n hyser maar jou parfuum ryk lekker of jy lyk baie op gewek vandag en het nog nooit iemand kwaad gesien daarna nie, maar baie keer die woord BAIE DANKIE gekry
Orgasminator
As ons dalk meer komplimente uitdeel, gaan dit 'n beter wereld wees om in te leef. 'n Bree glimlag kan dalk net die persoon se dag verander en hom of haar net weer krag te gee vir die dag.
Sex God
Quote by joyrider
Don't you think it is a nice confident booster for your self if a complete stranger walks up to you and says you look nice today? Sometime it is just what a person need at that moment in time.
I mean these day we would get in a lift in a building and not one person will even look in another persons direction let alone say good day to anyone.
That is why we have road rag. Just by smiling at someone or saying you look nice makes a big difference to some people.
Or am I wrong again?
Joyrider
Trying to make it work
you are perfectly correct, the problem is the world is just not conditioned to receive a compliment. Yes, every now and then it works out as intended, but that's very rare and seldom. It's a shame, because I believe that what you say should be more how it is.
Ok, hang on , the original question was not about "telling someone they look nice" - that is very different from the question Joyrider put forward. Please go back and look, he asks if he should " give her a compliment on how hot she looks"
That is a completely different question.
The original compliment is a very sexual one, telling someone they look nice is just a nice thing to say and can't be taken out of context unless you leer at her or make a strange face when you say it.... that might just be creepy!
Remember when we were in school?
If a guy/girl that you found attractive complimented you in a sexual way, it was great.
However, if that guy/girl was not someone you were attracted to, the sexual compliment came across as creepy and unwelcome.
It is the same when giving sexual compliments randomly at the spar. You have no idea whether your compliment will be welcome or not.
As PIB and Ash have pointed out, there are ways to compliment people without crossing the sexual line, which are welcome in most cases.
;)
C
With human rights and all other rights today, 'sexual compliments' can become sexual harassment. Especially in a country where the female does not have the same standing as their male counterparts.
I would respectfully find smarter ways to let a hot lady know that she is VERY FELINE and very acceptable to the eye ..... without relying on just my drooling stares / jaw dropping- / watery-eyed facial expressions!!
To just go in for the lusty kill ...... is so 'last year' :twisted:
[quote="Gerrie2012"] Especially in a country where the female does not have the same standing as their male counterparts.
Gerrie will you see it as a sexual harassment if a lady cames up to you and gives you a compliment.
I just think too many people is crying wolf over nothing. I am sure if a person gives another person a compliment with out trying to undressing them it will be taken in the right light.
Or do the liberated ladies want a person to give them just a smile and the tilt of the head with a look in the your eyes that you are undressing them right there and then.
Joyrider
Enjoying real beauty
Quote by joyrider
Especially in a country where the female does not have the same standing as their male counterparts.
Gerrie will you see it as a sexual harassment if a lady cames up to you and gives you a compliment.
I just think too many people is crying wolf over nothing. I am sure if a person gives another person a compliment with out trying to undressing them it will be taken in the right light.
Or do the liberated ladies want a person to give them just a smile and the tilt of the head with a look in the your eyes that you are undressing them right there and then.
Joyrider
Enjoying real beauty
I have the 50/50 decision opportunity - all of us have it - if it's tarty I would probably laugh it off, and if tasteful I'll accept with a deep bow and movement of the hand!!
The liberated ladies are liberated precisely to be treated as equals ...... with respect!
The drooling look and undressing is actually tarty and so very .... 'last year'!!
Okay ladies as I am not allouwd to tell you ladies that are hot, good, looking or nice. then here is a different compliment which you ladies can not say is a creepy comment.
Ladies you all look so ugly today and your cloths you have on don't suit you or your body. Then I am not going to even going to talk about your hair style, because you must have put your finger in a plug to get it to stand that way.
Now what do I bet you guys the ladies are now going to say I am rude extra.
Joyrider
Trying to make all ladies feel good about them self's
Sex God
Quote by joyrider
Okay ladies as I am not allouwd to tell you ladies that are hot, good, looking or nice. then here is a different compliment which you ladies can not say is a creepy comment.
Ladies you all look so ugly today and your cloths you have on don't suit you or your body. Then I am not going to even going to talk about your hair style, because you must have put your finger in a plug to get it to stand that way.
Now what do I bet you guys the ladies are now going to say I am rude extra.
Joyrider
Trying to make all ladies feel good about them self's
I like this guy ! ! ! ! ! !
What you say is so true, it's a case of dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. Ons Suid Afrikaaners is maar n moelik klomp mense ne?
