Good day everyone...
I had an interesting conversation this weekend with a couple of good swinging friends that left some men and a lot of women a bit unhappy with one another. It was the simple conversation of cheating. Whether kissing another person of the same gender is considered cheating. It is something that had lead to 1 couple from the group calling it quits because of such a minor affair from the Mrs. Now what became very clear very fast is there were two opinions each gender at this party had. Firstly the females. On the one side we had the woman that believed that kissing another woman is totally fine while if their men kissed another man it would lead to an inevitable break up. The other side from the females was one of it didn't matter irrespective of what gender you kissed, just that kissing someone else outside of swinging was purely unacceptable because it lead to mistrust within the lifestyle. Oddly enough from the guys side there was a more restricted views. They argued that if woman found no problem with kissing the same gender, why couldn't their men (while claiming that the thought would leave most men feeling awkward to say the least. While the others pretty much agreed with the females saying you're in the lifestyle for a reason. It needs to be discussed and agreed upon for something to happen outside of the lifestyle. It would be very interesting to get the opinions of other people from this site and I do apologise if I typed out an essay. Couldn't find a way to shorten it without the full story...
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Cheating or not
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Is kissing a person of the same gender considered cheating
Orgasminator
Much was already been write on this forum about cheating but this argument are the first i can remind me of.
Only our opinion:
Men to men _ in the lifestyle as well out of the lifestyle
Women to women _ no problem in or out the lifestyle
Men to Women - No problem in the lifestyle or out of the lifestyle.
We take business and total stranger out of the accusation
Yes kissing can became cheating when feelings arise but normal did not see kissing as cheating.
Orgasminator
The poll only give one option yes or no same gender, but feel there must be more options to get some result
Orgasminator
The poll only give one option yes or no same gender, but feel there must be more options to get some result.
The tread on cheating the same as this on only the heading change
Sex God
The act of kissing another person (and I am assuming we are referring to a "passionate" kiss here) is the beginning of action being taken on some or other feeling / attraction / curiosity etc . . . so yes, if done outside of an agreement between the couple, it is clearly (to me) some form of cheating. First you kiss then you . . . . . well, we all have an idea of how the process goes.
As far as men kissing or women kissing, it makes no difference to my opinion on this subject.
I myself am a so called Bi-Sexual male, BUT(T) kissing another man is just something that almost never happens, just does not work for me.
I have zero issues if other men kiss around me, I have zero issues if women kiss each other around me, However, I do kind of have an issue if they (men or women) do it in public . . . ok, I am getting off topic here
Cheating is when someone in the partnership contravenes the agreed upon rules. It's not the gender or the behaviour that makes it cheating, it's breaking the rules that you've both agreed on. If you haven't had the discussion where you set the rules, then you're setting yourselves up for drama either way, and your adventure into the swinging lifestyle is guaranteed to cause pain for someone if not end very badly.
The MOST IMPORTANT thing is to DISCUSS and AGREE on the rules FOR YOU, and it needs to be done BEFORE you engage in any play of any type in any context!
There is right answer to your question because it very much depends on the rules that that particularly couple agreed on.
Sex God
The act of kissing another person (and I am assuming we are referring to a "passionate" kiss here) is the beginning of action being taken on some or other feeling / attraction / curiosity etc . . . so yes, if done outside of an agreement between the couple, it is clearly (to me) some form of cheating. First you kiss then you . . . . . well, we all have an idea of how the process goes.
As far as men kissing or women kissing, it makes no difference to my opinion on this subject.
I myself am a so called Bi-Sexual male, BUT(T) kissing another man is just something that almost never happens, just does not work for me.
I have zero issues if other men kiss around me, I have zero issues if women kiss each other around me, However, I do kind of have an issue if they (men or women) do it in public . . . ok, I am getting off topic here
As Lee said,Rules are a must between couples even the single people in the lifestyle should also have their own set rules we all should adhere is ONLY when the RULES are broken...otherwise kiss away.
I would never KISS ANYONE OUTSIDE in the public when the hubby or wife is NOT is JUST not done. In a party or club prior to play is a different story.
I am not talking a little hello Kiss-Kiss....but I AM talking passionate kiss tongues and lip locks that is totally off the map, that is CHEATING in my eyes.
Kissing is way to intimate for some people, most feel it is only something that only partners should share.
Sex in any form is allowed from Normal to anal to cunnilingus to Blow jobs.... BUT dare to kiss and you are in hot water.
How that is suppose to works is above my intellect really??
What is more intimate than having someone going *down* on you??
But rules are rules.
I for myself Love kissing! I kiss women and men if so inclined...how can one not kiss the person you are going to play with is my question or to kiss them after playing When you do a little hugging or cuddling and catching your breath ?? Or do most people just jump up go and clean up and go on to the next Person??And here I am not talking about becoming emotionally involved at all....it is just normal for me, to relax back and show a little appreciation for enjoying each other.
I For the love of me,can NOT see why men cannot kiss each other,if we women can kiss,why not men??
I think it is more of a homophobic reaction people have,when watching men kiss.
Now I will most likely be shot with out the benefit of a plea bargain......
Mostly I think women tend to be really sorta prissy and pretentious if they do not allow their men folk to enjoy what they obviously enjoy. But then women are generally more prone to the *green monster* than men really.
I know some women have this rule if they feel a lady is sexier than themselves,the lady will play BUT hubby is not allowed to touch, and the woman is NOT to touch or smile with the hubby,then she is a flirt and a house wrecker.
Ever wondered why I never said yes to playing with couples?????
My 5c`s.
@ SDMR
You dislike any to all display of affection in Public???
Orgasminator
Personally i believe if she can kiss another girl then he can kiss another guy. However I see nothing wrong with kissing another guy and enjoy it as much as kissing a girl.
Saying all this I avoid kissing during play dates since I know most couples aren't as open with kissing and I respect that. However my line is between intimate kissing during sex and intimate kissing afterwards or as a greeting, I believe the later is crossing the line. If you are kissing during sex it can be connected to the lust of the moment and can be accepted to a degree. It adds to the passion IMO and I love it, I just never know if I can.
So a premeditated kiss with tongue etc is cheating to me, lust is linked to the passion of the moment.
Still everyone needs to set their own lines and take the more conservative of the 2 parties, no line opens you to unintentional nasties.
Sex God
Quote by Pussinboots1
As Lee said,Rules are a must between couples even the single people in the lifestyle should also have their own set rules we all should adhere is ONLY when the RULES are broken...otherwise kiss away.
I would never KISS ANYONE OUTSIDE in the public when the hubby or wife is NOT is JUST not done. In a party or club prior to play is a different story.
I am not talking a little hello Kiss-Kiss....but I AM talking passionate kiss tongues and lip locks that is totally off the map, that is CHEATING in my eyes.
Kissing is way to intimate for some people, most feel it is only something that only partners should share.
Sex in any form is allowed from Normal to anal to cunnilingus to Blow jobs.... BUT dare to kiss and you are in hot water.
How that is suppose to works is above my intellect really??
What is more intimate than having someone going *down* on you??
But rules are rules.
I for myself Love kissing! I kiss women and men if so inclined...how can one not kiss the person you are going to play with is my question or to kiss them after playing When you do a little hugging or cuddling and catching your breath ?? Or do most people just jump up go and clean up and go on to the next Person??And here I am not talking about becoming emotionally involved at all....it is just normal for me, to relax back and show a little appreciation for enjoying each other.
I For the love of me,can NOT see why men cannot kiss each other,if we women can kiss,why not men??
I think it is more of a homophobic reaction people have,when watching men kiss.
Now I will most likely be shot with out the benefit of a plea bargain......
Mostly I think women tend to be really sorta prissy and pretentious if they do not allow their men folk to enjoy what they obviously enjoy. But then women are generally more prone to the *green monster* than men really.
I know some women have this rule if they feel a lady is sexier than themselves,the lady will play BUT hubby is not allowed to touch, and the woman is NOT to touch or smile with the hubby,then she is a flirt and a house wrecker.
Ever wondered why I never said yes to playing with couples?????
My 5c`s.
@ SDMR
You dislike any to all display of affection in Public???
@PIB, I do have a bit of an issue with it yes.
Don't get me wrong, holding hands with your partner while walking and even the occasional little kiss (Peck) is no issue, but people who have their hands all over each other, and are locking lips with darting tongues in public in front of people (KIDS) and they walk with their hands on their partners asses . . . . . I have a bit of issue with.
:banghead: SDMR,
How can you have a problem with a cpl that is not scare to show other people they still love one another. I mean do you know how nice it is to see an old cpl still holding hands and kissing after 40 years of been together. I mean not many people these days can brag about been so in love after so many years.
Joyrider
Showing other people you still love and care for your partner is not a crime Sex God
Quote by joyrider
How can you have a problem with a cpl that is not scare to show other people they still love one another. I mean do you know how nice it is to see an old cpl still holding hands and kissing after 40 years of been together. I mean not many people these days can brag about been so in love after so many years.
Joyrider
Showing other people you still love and care for your partner is not a crime
As I said, I have no issue with people holding hands and even sharing the occasional little kiss. It is when it is more than that, that I do not think it is appropriate. Couples can easily show they are still in love after 40 years without behaving like they are in the bedroom when they are in public.
Orgasminator
I am of opinion that been a couple of 40 years give you the right to act if you are in the bedroom. By that you show to people what they miss in life. That is why you see so many idiots in the street because the chip on there shoulder are so big they cant see the nice things in life.
Walking in the streets of Cape Town it a shame how people behave rather see a couple holding hands and kiss openly even is a nice snooze. Young people in street and the guy hands in the back of his women scathing her ass that is gross.
Some people are jealous seeing people in love walking in the street. Perhaps they must take a mind change and they also would find love.
Sex God
Quote by Adonis
I am of opinion that been a couple of 40 years give you the right to act if you are in the bedroom. By that you show to people what they miss in life. That is why you see so many idiots in the street because the chip on there shoulder are so big they cant see the nice things in life.
Walking in the streets of Cape Town it a shame how people behave rather see a couple holding hands and kiss openly even is a nice snooze. Young people in street and the guy hands in the back of his women scathing her ass that is gross.
Some people are jealous seeing people in love walking in the street. Perhaps they must take a mind change and they also would find love.
Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. For me it is just a simple case of, us as adults cannot complain about the younger people doing things if we ourselves are doing them.
How many times have you seen a young couple (16 - 25) in a mall who are standing against a wall and kissing like there is no tomorrow? hands running up and down each others backs and bums? Is your first thought when you see this type of thing, that they are in love? or is your first thought something else? . . . . Now replace those youngsters with a 50 or 60 year old couple . . . what is that thought now?
Orgasminator
Older people have learn manners not the youngsters have no manners, and try to explain it is a waste of time
I do agree there is a limit on the amount of affection a person can show in public. But dont you think sometimes you wish you were in that guys shoes :twisted:
Joyrider
Times change and a person must learn to move with the times
SDMR, you should probably avoid the shops when K and I are shopping ;)
If we have to stand and wait in a que, we use the time as best as we can!
That includes kissing, with tongue, and ass holding...
Kids see this stuff all over tv, without the love aspect attached to it. If they see us, it might give them something to think about...
;)
C
Sex God
Quote by KC_
SDMR, you should probably avoid the shops when K and I are shopping ;)
If we have to stand and wait in a que, we use the time as best as we can!
That includes kissing, with tongue, and ass holding...
Kids see this stuff all over tv, without the love aspect attached to it. If they see us, it might give them something to think about...
;)
C
Tell you what, I am going to be in Norwood on Tuesday, maybe I should observe you guy's at the shops and see if it also gives me something to think about . . . :twisted:
Well then you must hope you never cross paths with us in a shopping mall !!!!!!!!!! If i decide 2 rub a titt, then a titt i'm going to rub. And if i decide to grab my wifes pussy........then thats exactly what i'm going to do! THAT'S EXHIBITIONISM!!!!! Whoever doesnt like it, must look away. :mrgreen:
Sex God
Quote by scorpio69
Well then you must hope you never cross paths with us in a shopping mall !!!!!!!!!! If i decide 2 rub a titt, then a titt i'm going to rub. And if i decide to grab my wifes pussy........then thats exactly what i'm going to do! THAT'S EXHIBITIONISM!!!!! Whoever doesnt like it, must look away. :mrgreen:
All righty then . . . . a slightly different spin on the meaning of exhibitionism, but hey, each to their own.
But if I am out with my kids, I hope, as you say "we never cross paths" . . . . .
Sex God
Quote by scorpio69
Just for curiosity sake: What do you do to a lady sitting at a robot breast feeding her baby with her 2 kilo boob totally exposed, and your kids seeing it? Do u climb out your car and tell her: " NOW WE CROSSED PATHS"!
We seem to have a different interpretation of your initial wording of crossing paths. I understood it to mean, "bumping into each other randomly"
As for a woman breast feeding at a robot, there is nothing I can do or say about it, except explain to my kids (who DO NOT have blackberry's) that it is not actually a good thing to do, because if the vehicle had to brake very suddenly, the baby would in all likely-hood get very seriously injured or killed, that, and why would any self respecting woman want to show of body parts in public that are usually kept covered with clothing.
But needless to say, in the right public environment, I would love to cross paths with you and your wife and watch as you grabbed her pussy, but like I said, in the right environment.
