while i fully understand that couples get inundated with meet requests from the vast masses of single men on the site, the rudeness in the response is uncalled for. tonight i half read a profile of a couple that had read my profile, wrongly i jumped the gun and asked to meet, presuming that my advert had done the required deed!! i was wrong, hold my hands in the air, no defense, i half read their profile and ad, i fucked up!! i got a short f u reply to which I sent an immediate apology!! would it kill to at least acknowledge the apology? i stuffed up no question, a "thanks" or yes your a "dickhead" but we acknowledge your mistake and unintended offense would not kill you. after all you could mistake the 'f' you response.
I understand your frustration, but I think I might understand the couples reason for not responding again and who seems so rude at the moment.
Having the same problem that people think everyone is fooling around when they write their profile, thus they ,the offending persons,read until they are bored and do not read any get excited and Jump the gun and rush to say Hi how about meeting.
When YOU do then reply with a No thanks or please read my written profile they still insist on mailing you.
I have never been, or let me rephrase that, I try never to be rude.
But I am not saying you will be a culprit doing the same, please understand, I am trying to rationalize why some people become offensive and rude.
If I respond back to someone who made a mistake
I always get an answer back and then they expect another answer
and the mails go on and on and on...
Sometimes it is best to just read the note where the person is saying sorry they made a mistake and let it is sometimes the safest way to go. Believe me!!!
Just to clarify...It does not mean people are not allowed to mail me, they are more than welcome I love chatting via mails,when i am here.
But when they Keep on trying their luck fo rme to agree to a meeting when they already know I will not, is what gets me frustrated.
PIB i agree with everything you say here i would just like the people concerned to acknowledge that i did not intend to offend! never mind i suppose it is best left as is!!!! anyway i enjoy your comments so i suppose it all evens out!
Paulus,At least should the couple read here(very unlikely) then they will know you did not intend any disrespect.
And you do feel slightly better by just getting that of your chest, I am sure!
I agree with Paulus, they could have just replied with "Apology Accepted".
What irritates me is the aggressive wording in some of the profiles. I fully understand that if a couple, who have specified that they are only interested in females or other couples are bombarded with requests from single males, will start using CAPITAL LETTERS in their profile to emphasise their preference. There is nothing wrong with that. However I get irritated when the language becomes rude and people tell you in their profile that if you are a single male you must "take a hike pel" or "look up a prostitute in the newspaper ".
If admin was notified perhaps the people concerned could be asked to cool it?
I do think my dear mommy taught me some manners and that I try and use them every time some single male send us a meet request or the favourite I have read your profile bla bla bla (I you have read my f@cking profile you would know not to send me a massage)
Bottom line is do not push yourself onto others, if you can make time to read their profile they might just make time for you, that is if their profile askes for single males.
I have often made the mistake of reading a profile and responding to it without checking the ads . Now the profile is sometimes basic but they place the details of their requirements in the ad and vice versa .so before you respond its best to do full recon to avoid the back lash .now having heard all sides of this topic numerous times i feel its to each their own .i dont mind rude , tell me to stuff off .if you do i normally apologies for the intrusion in one last mail and thank them for the reply , because theres nothing worse than sending a mail then seeing they have read it and that they have checked out your profile....and still getting no response .but i say to each their own .if thats how they choose to treat people then its best for me that nothing ever comes of the message .there are many great polite friendly people on this site and getting upset over the others is not worth it
Personally If I sent a message and I got a rude reply I would use it against them.
Example
Thanks for the reply however based on the language used in said reply I would like to formally reject my original proposal, your ,for lack of a better cliché, not my type.
Thanks for your time
thank you LeeEC for the English lesson
Regards
[quote="paulus"]while i fully understand that couples get inundated with meet requests from the vast masses of single men on the site, the rudeness in the response is uncalled for. tonight i half read a profile of a couple that had read my profile, wrongly i jumped the gun and asked to meet, presuming that my advert had done the required deed!! i was wrong, hold my hands in the air, no defense, i half read their profile and ad, i fucked up!! i got a short f u reply to which I sent an immediate apology!! would it kill to at least acknowledge the apology? i stuffed up no question, a "thanks" or yes your a "dickhead" but we acknowledge your mistake and unintended offense would not kill you. after all you could mistake the 'f' you response.[/quo
Maybe you slipped and did not read the whole profile but believe me it seems that doing just that, not reading profiles or just not giving a damn about the preferences stated there, is a hobby chosen by many single guys and some of the couples too (must be mentioned).
Very often "apology accepted, have a great evening" is read as " come and fuck me, i am ready for you". Being nice does not pay off if you are a couple or a single woman.
After wasting time on mails that make no sense people get frustrated and aggressive ( Mail rage). They will not sugar coat their feelings, and why should they? I personally find people that disregard personal preferences stated very clearly, lacking respect and common sense. Therefore you took a chance like a man, take a verbal beating like a man.
Time for my 5c solution
1. We all hate winks, therefore theoretically we don't use them
2. Most people glance at the senders profile of said offending person
1+2=
Rewrite you wink into a polite rejection letter stating you aren't interested, thanks for the interest and no further messages will be entered into. Now you can send a well written rejection and with as little effort as the spammer of winks.
World saved
Ag NO Mike_PTA...
Why be Negative when you can be positive???
Rather re-write your flirt into something positive. I change mine around a lot and send it to people I like.
I do not ever expect an answer back, I send it out as a whisper of well wishes!!
Why not try it this way???
And You being a person I like, I am sending you my latest!!!!
I most certainly NOT dislike winks that is original and I can see someone took the time to write...
Most people do not really realize they are sending an meaningless took me a while on site to get to know it is suppose to be a wink and not unwanted mail
And it took the nice lady of the profile Erotic-Nauti to teach me how to use my wink positively.
Why not try it Guys???? lets see if you do not get a smiley friendly Hi in return???
For a single woman its another story, I get stalked by couples! And my profile says that if I do not respond within 24hours, I'm not interested. Yet they keep sending friend requests winks,messages.
I am new to the site and curious about the lifestyle but never been involved in anything. I enjoy looking at the profiles and really enjoy the pics of all the beautifull ladies. When i see something i like i will say so and pay the that person a compliment in a decent and respectfully manner as thats the type of person i am. One can understand that single ladies and couples are hassled by single men looking for sex. One can also understand that the ladies and couples become frustrated and angry with the constent meeting requests. What i dont understand is why would you choose to insult someone and send them a f... You message when all they did was say that you are beautifull and sexy. Boggles my mind but then again sites like these were not made for single men.
Heh heh heh. .. howsit okes! You will NEVER believe what I just managed to get fixed! !!!!!
The wink default message!!!!
It's now just a generic "you have received a wink!"