Hi All
I was looking through some of the profiles on the site now and at the risk of sounding judgmental I am struggling to understand some of the things I am seeing.
For example:
A single straight guy is looking for a bi-male, bi female or gay female couple. Mmmmm, either he does not understand the concept of bi or he is wanting to try it out, if so, say so. Dude, what have you got to offer a bi-female, your profile is single, what lady bits do you have that she would be interested in? Having said that, what any bits would you perhaps have that a gay female couple would be interested in?
There are heaps of examples like this, you don't even really need to look.
My second issue/query is this:
The site is called Swinging Heaven, by definition swinging is done in couples, or do I have the bull by the balls? I smile when I read "I am new to this lifestyle", what lifestyle dude, you are just here to score a bonk, period, and nine out of ten times its behind the Mrs's back. That is not swinging, that is bonking someone else's wife/hubby with their partners permission.
Don't get me wrong, there is a place in this world for everyone, but at least get it right. Those of us, and I am sure I am not the only one, who have been in the game for years that get a huge kick out of reading some of the profiles and imagining the individuals behind the keyboards. Guys, just be honest, say something like "Available to bonk your wife, or you, if you smaak" and we will all know exactly where we stand.
Hehehe, sorry, this little bitching session has been aching to see the light of day for ages. Hope I haven't pissed too many of our well meaning, virile young cocks off too much. Keep at it guys, you are doing a good job, I'm sure. Those of you that know us will understand that nothing said here is in any way intended to hurt feelings. Come back at me hard if it did.
Yin-Yang
Join the most popular community of South African swingers now
Login
Battling To Understand
Warming the Bed
So what makes it swinging for a single female and not a single male To be on a site like this then?
Sexpert
Ding ding ding ding , we have a winner first attack on single males for 2015 and the prize goes to ying yang.
Orgasminator
Quote by mynlc
So what makes it swinging for a single female and not a single male To be on a site like this then?
mynic, I think you may be missing the point yin_yang is making. By definition singles whether male or female cannot be swingers. Swinging is done by a couple who agree to live their lives respecting the individuality and needs of their partner, knowing that as much as they may love each other, no one can fulfil all the needs of someone else. They agree to be open, honest and allow each other a level of freedom not accepted in general society.
Singles simply do what singles do, look for and engage in nsa sex where the opportunity presents itself. This doesn't make them swingers it makes them single.
As far as the married person playing behind their partners back is concerned, this is still cheating, you can't disguise it as swinging. In fact most swingers have an issue with it because it goes against the essence of what swinging is all about, the respect and honesty towards ones partner.
There is a place for all on the site, Couples, singles and even the cheater, what most are asking for is honesty and respect. Don't claim to be a couple if you playing alone, tell people you are married if that's the case and allow then to decide if they want to play with you or not. If you have no intention of meeting someone, say so, don't leave them hanging. If all you want is to watch cam's and engage in dirty chat, fine be honest. Be clear about who you are and what you looking to get out the site, respect others rights to decide what they want.
Its unfortunately it must be said, no one here is a whore, or here to provide others with entertainment. No one has the right to expect or demand anything from another.
Treat one another with respect, enjoy the site for what it should be, a place where people can be open, honest, have fun, get to know one another and decide how far they wish to take things.
Quote by MIKE_
So what makes it swinging for a single female and not a single male To be on a site like this then?
mynic, I think you may be missing the point yin_yang is making. By definition singles whether male or female cannot be swingers. Swinging is done by a couple who agree to live their lives respecting the individuality and needs of their partner, knowing that as much as they may love each other, no one can fulfil all the needs of someone else. They agree to be open, honest and allow each other a level of freedom not accepted in general society.
Singles simply do what singles do, look for and engage in nsa sex where the opportunity presents itself. This doesn't make them swingers it makes them single.
As far as the married person playing behind their partners back is concerned, this is still cheating, you can't disguise it as swinging. In fact most swingers have an issue with it because it goes against the essence of what swinging is all about, the respect and honesty towards ones partner.
There is a place for all on the site, Couples, singles and even the cheater, what most are asking for is honesty and respect. Don't claim to be a couple if you playing alone, tell people you are married if that's the case and allow then to decide if they want to play with you or not. If you have no intention of meeting someone, say so, don't leave them hanging. If all you want is to watch cam's and engage in dirty chat, fine be honest. Be clear about who you are and what you looking to get out the site, respect others rights to decide what they want.
Its unfortunately it must be said, no one here is a whore, or here to provide others with entertainment. No one has the right to expect or demand anything from another.
Treat one another with respect, enjoy the site for what it should be, a place where people can be open, honest, have fun, get to know one another and decide how far they wish to take things.
hmmm so what you are saying is that couples that have a preference for singles (either by way of a threesum or a group of singles) should by your definition not be on a swinging site as they are not looking for swingers?
I must add that I don't think anyone could have said what you did better
It was very eloquent which means you are good linguist, maybe even a cunning linguist *Singles simply do what singles do, look for and engage in nsa sex where the opportunity presents itself. This doesn't make them swingers it makes them single.*
Here I just want to add, although we single people can not claim to be Swingers per se,(as we are not part of a couple) we, how ever can claim to have a Swingers mindset.
Smiling this side of the pc and saying the following with my tongue in my cheek....
Thus in my minds eye, We then do fall in the category *swinger* with a difference ;)
Quote by Pussinboots1
*Singles simply do what singles do, look for and engage in nsa sex where the opportunity presents itself. This doesn't make them swingers it makes them single.*
Here I just want to add, although we single people can not claim to be Swingers per se,(as we are not part of a couple) we, how ever can claim to have a Swingers mindset.
Smiling this side of the pc and saying the following with my tongue in my cheek....
Thus in my minds eye, We then do fall in the category *swinger* with a difference ;)
na just fell off the fence
Sex God
Quote by EasyGuy80
Maybe the mods/owner of the site should make a one for hook-ups/single people?
it would probably just land up being the same as this site, with all the couples who are interested in 3sums joining to look for the single person to add to the mix . . . .
Master of Sex
Maybe us singles should find our own site. Imagine all the couples that refuse to play with single males - no females on the site only couples, ya I don't see that working. So swingers or not singles are needed.
Orgasminator
*There is a place for all on the site, Couples, singles and even the cheater, what most are asking for is honesty and respect. Don't claim to be a couple if you playing alone, tell people you are married if that's the case and allow then to decide if they want to play with you or not. If you have no intention of meeting someone, say so, don't leave them hanging. If all you want is to watch cam's and engage in dirty chat, fine be honest. Be clear about who you are and what you looking to get out the site, respect others rights to decide what they want.*
Seems like some only read half of what you say. How this gets interpreted as singles should leave the site and couples looking for singles should join a singles site is beyond me. At no time did I said or imply swingers should only look for or play with other swingers and not with singles.
oh well I suppose if some can't add value they will add conflict.
I fully agree with Pussinboots1, some singles are of a swinging mindset, they understand what swinging is about and how they fit into it as a single. Those with this mindset would even look for or encourage a partner to become swingers or swinger friendly should they enter into a serious relationship.
There has and will always be a place for the single in the lifestyle.
Pussinboots1, please correct me if I'm wrong. You have a life partner who knows about and supports your choice of lifestyle, you have an open, honest and respectful relationship. Irrespective of whether you take active part as a single or a couple, I see you as swingers, you have by definition the same relationship as any other swinging couple. I personally feel it is a misnomer to presume both partners need to be equally active for them to be swingers.
(I'm sure that will open a whole new can of worms.)
Orgasminator
Ja ek dink die topic se opskrif is so korrek, wie kan tussen die choas van antwoorde regtig 'n definisie van swinging maak.
Die couples op die site het natuurlik hul eie definisie, dat net 'n couple kan swing, ja en die ander couples wat nie saam stem nie is cheaters wat hulle is sonder hulle partners hier en wil net score.
Ja en dan is daar die single mans wat elke verskoning in die boek sal vind om dit te regverdig dat hulle nie net op die site is om te score nie. Daar is natuurlike die wat glo as ons mastubeer dan verkoop ons ons makliker op die site, dan kan die dames tenminste sien dat daar potesiaal is, al is dit oor die key boards.
Die arme single dames kan seker nie die straf vry spring nie want as hulle nie op cam wil gaan nie word hulle beskuldig van alle dinge onder die son. Die wat wel op cam gaan, moenie dink hulle gaan die grof gesmid van die tenoorgestelde geslag misloop nie. Ja agter 'n keyboard word mense baie braaf.
Nou kom ons kom terug na die definisie van swinging soos so baie al geskryf is in die forums en een ding staan soos 'n paal bo watter, jy kan nie alleen swing nie, maar sou jy dit alleen doen dan dink ek hulle noem dit mastubeer, ja en dit is nie beperk tot enige van die groepe op hierdie site nie.
Kan ons dan nie maar vir eens en altyd aanvaar, daar is plek vir almal op die site en hou op om die een en ander te beskuldig julle hoort nie op hierdie swinging site nie.
Ja en dan met my tong in die kies, kom ons hou die site respekvol en die wat dan soos varke wil wees hoort beslis nie op die site nie, maar in 'n vark hok. Respek het nog nooit van geen mens 'n slegte mens gemaak nie.
Ok daar is weer mense wat my kop gaan afbyt oor my stelling oor varkerigheid, maar gaan lees die "Quick messages" op mense se profiles, waar is daai mense se opvoeding.
@ Mike_
My lovey does KNOW what I do,when I do and with whom I do.
She even takes me to some of the M&G`s and she does know some of the single gents and a few single ladies.
She is civil and friendly towards the swinger couples and single men and women who comes for coffee at our home.
She certainly knows when I am playing KInky games, as that is what I NOW mostly do as I do not do sexual meets anymore,I do blame THAT part on menopause !!!
By saying the above and agreeing with you that she knows About me and my little deviant ways.
I have to tell you, SHE will fall onto her back and run a mile if you ever say she is a SWINGER, cause she is NOT that at all.
Do not even think her kinky she is not that either.
In fact she does think of me/us as deviant and over sexed!!!
Although she has seen more penises than what most of you guys will ever see,due to her job (she is now retired)she prefers NOT to sit and look at them, and think them gross.
She does allow me to demonstrate some cock and ball torture/teasing in our home, if a couples asks for a demonstration on how to do that. BUT she will excuse herself and go watch TV if the gent is naked.
She can sit and watch the couple`s lady & single ladies who is naked in our home when they come for some photo shoots or fitting of my Body Chains (My lovey is a lesbain/gay out and out) But she will flinch away if that same sexy naked lady makes a pass at her.
I have tried many, many, things to entice and get her to meet someone and play with them, but to no avail, she is and will always be most certainly does not have a swingers mindset.
General observation/remark.
Guys, if someone tells you their spouse KNOWS about what they do, DO not reject this as an outright lie, cause it may be the truth and not be a lie!!!
BUT if they balk or reject the notion of you meeting or talking to their spouse, THEN know *it* may not be the truth.
Quote by MIKE_
*There is a place for all on the site, Couples, singles and even the cheater, what most are asking for is honesty and respect. Don't claim to be a couple if you playing alone, tell people you are married if that's the case and allow then to decide if they want to play with you or not. If you have no intention of meeting someone, say so, don't leave them hanging. If all you want is to watch cam's and engage in dirty chat, fine be honest. Be clear about who you are and what you looking to get out the site, respect others rights to decide what they want.*
Seems like some only read half of what you say. How this gets interpreted as singles should leave the site and couples looking for singles should join a singles site is beyond me. At no time did I said or imply swingers should only look for or play with other swingers and not with singles.
oh well I suppose if some can't add value they will add conflict.
I fully agree with Pussinboots1, some singles are of a swinging mindset, they understand what swinging is about and how they fit into it as a single. Those with this mindset would even look for or encourage a partner to become swingers or swinger friendly should they enter into a serious relationship.
There has and will always be a place for the single in the lifestyle.
Pussinboots1, please correct me if I'm wrong. You have a life partner who knows about and supports your choice of lifestyle, you have an open, honest and respectful relationship. Irrespective of whether you take active part as a single or a couple, I see you as swingers, you have by definition the same relationship as any other swinging couple. I personally feel it is a misnomer to presume both partners need to be equally active for them to be swingers.
(I'm sure that will open a whole new can of worms.)
well said mike, there is place for single men and women of all orientations, shapes size etc, jsut as there is a spot for couples
Orgasminator
My understanding is that everyone is looking for their own pleasure, it can't be fair to dictate what is and isn't swinging. I mean sex is so varied and unique, who gets to decide what is and isn't allowed especially in a lifestyle as varied as this. How many more times do we need to confirm that people in this lifestyle are unique with their own tastes.
We all have our own kinks
Quote by Mike_Pta
My understanding is that everyone is looking for their own pleasure, it can't be fair to dictate what is and isn't swinging. I mean sex is so varied and unique, who gets to decide what is and isn't allowed especially in a lifestyle as varied as this. How many more times do we need to confirm that people in this lifestyle are unique with their own tastes.
We all have our own kinks
Great :small-print: Mike_Pta
Sex God
(Pasted in quote) Seems like some only read half of what you say. How this gets interpreted as singles should leave the site and couples looking for singles should join a singles site is beyond me. At no time did I said or imply swingers should only look for or play with other swingers and not with singles.
oh well I suppose if some can't add value they will add conflict. (END)
(Pasted in quote) Ok daar is weer mense wat my kop gaan afbyt oor my stelling oor varkerigheid, maar gaan lees die "Quick messages" op mense se profiles, waar is daai mense se opvoeding. (END)
Shawn says,
I really do not understand the need for comments such as the above.
You know I think 90% of the offences on this site are imaginary. I don't actually understand the last two posts on this thread. I don't understand at all.
I don't understand what Shawn is on about or what Rumpled is getting at and I am very intelligent person. You guys need to stop waiting for something to get up each others noses about. And if someone says something that doesn't sit well with you. Oh for petesake get over it and move on. .. Comment on things in a positive and helpful manner instead of getting uptight. And when isay everyone gets to say their say, that means EVERYONE - including the people who are a bit negative or who are in disagreement with things or have strong points of view. People are allowed their opinions. You don't have accept them or agree with them. You don't even have to respond to them actually. Just pretend they didn't happen and get on with your life and comment on the stuff you do have some positive input on.
Come on people this isn't a play school sand box.
Oh and one more thing - Adonis, though you certainly aren't the only one to do it. For flip sakes, ending a post with an invitation for people to get uptight isn't a good strategy either.
and comment on the stuff you do have some positive input on.
Come on people this isn't a play school sand box.
Oh and one more thing - Adonis, though you certainly aren't the only one to do it. For flip sakes, ending a post with an invitation for people to get uptight isn't a good strategy either. Sex God
Quote by LeeEC
Oh and one more thing - Adonis, though you certainly aren't the only one to do it. For flip sakes, ending a post with an invitation for people to get uptight isn't a good strategy either.
But it was not understood what I meant . . . . .
But, there you go boys and girls, your opinion matters . . . . as long as it is a positive one.
Orgasminator
Dankie vir die preek, maar verstaan nie wat jy vir my se nie. Maar dit is seker maar reg dat mense van ander mense kan verskil, as gevolg van hulle verwysings raamwerk.
Ek gaan speel maar verder in my sand put met my maatjies
Sex God
Quote by playcouple
as all good dic(k)tators say " everyone is entitled to their opinion and the cure for all ailments (and opinions that differ from mine) is the removal of the head"
ehhehehehe ehehehe
The skin has been removed from my head . . . does that count?
:rotflmao: Quote by LeeEC
You know I think 90% of the offences on this site are imaginary. I don't actually understand the last two posts on this thread. I don't understand at all.
I don't understand what Shawn is on about or what Rumpled is getting at and I am (A) very intelligent person. You guys need to stop waiting for something to get up each others noses about. And if someone says something that doesn't sit well with you. Oh for petesake get over it and move on. .. Comment on things in a positive and helpful manner instead of getting uptight. And when isay everyone gets to say their say, that means EVERYONE - including the people who are a bit negative or who are in disagreement with things or have strong points of view. People are allowed their opinions. You don't have accept them or agree with them. You don't even have to respond to them actually. Just pretend they didn't happen and get on with your life
Come on people this isn't a play school sand box.
Oh and one more thing - Adonis, though you certainly aren't the only one to do it. For flip sakes, ending a post with an invitation for people to get uptight isn't a good strategy either.
Confused dot com here " Adonis I have to agree with you entirely. Well put! " :small-print: was your reply to Adonis's earlier post :jagsatwork:
Sexlightened
Firstly, as a bi-woman, I can honestly say that "a straight single guy' would have quite a few bits that do interest me....Being bi does not mean that I only play if there is a guy and a girl involved....As for him being interested in gay females and bi-males, I have a good chuckle when I come across those too!
In my humble opinion and considerable experience, the term 'swingingr' did originally refer to sexually open-minded couples however has become synonymous with the term 'lifestyle' and is used in reference to anyone who is sexually open-minded (couples and singles alike) .
As for folk who are here for 'quick pick-ups': there are a number of people (both couples and singles) who are under the misconception of what the lifestyle/swinging is and how it works.....they all soon learn and either adapt, enjoy their journey OR they leave.
I agree that 'honesty' is vital to ensure that an awesome lifestyle/swinging experience is had by all.
Hugz
Mrs Cat
xoxo
