Copied and pasted from the "New & Nervous" Forum.
This (or these) types of play are always border line with me.
Tying someone up and teasing them beyond manageability is one thing, but (to me) hitting / slapping / hurting . . . . . nah
I know some people enjoy being verbally humiliated, but for me, I have an issue (enter Stamina) saying derogatory things to someone I am expecting to have a lengthy sex session with.
I agree with what Yoga said (in the original post) "each to their own", but for me the limits come early . . . I said limits dammit
What are your thoughts on the subject at hand?
There are so many roles we take on as lovers. Absolutely each to their own. We can only know ourselves in this regard. We can choose the role of a sub or slave, Give away our control. It is ours to give away.
Our fantasies are connected to our personalities. The independent and strong have a strong desire to be dominated, controlled and even humiliated. The weak and controlled become dominating.
I think under the right circumstances, those situations can be truly freeing. We connect, with our partner and ourselves.
Unless you find yourself with a sadist, and it may just leave you feeling ashamed, guilty and violated.
Temet Nosce.
And here I thought you and I were grooming each other to play some really kinky games when you do come down to CPT SDMR..........
Okay just teasing.
SDMR and anyone else who does not really UNDERSTAND why there are people who likes to be humiliated and likes to dish out humiliation. NOT ANY ONE who is active in BDSM/KINKY setups will ever allow anyone else to humiliate or HURT them, except ,when it is Safe, Sane, is most certainly NOT abuse.
And here the magic words are Safe, Sane, Consensual.
Any person who is really a Dominant also KNOWS that the submissive is the one in charge......THEY only allow us *D`s* the grace of playing with their bodies and can stop the interaction at any given time.
We as D`s NEVER abuse that gift to will never find any play partners should we not be trust worthy and safe.
In the kink community word spreads like fire if you are an unsafe player.
This site might be names/called a Swinger site, but there is all sorts of Sexual interactions and sexual orientation going on as well. We should also remember that swingers also have other sexual orientations and desires, NOT just swapping of partners.
To me it means there is a place for each and everyone of us.
I can not tell you guys how many people is interested in kinky sex...and as before, KINKY could mean anything from hard-core to sensual. Each and everyone needs and desires differs.
What most people do not realize that a person who calls themselves submissive or a slave have different needs. They ARE MOST certainly not the same thing.
I do think there are people who do not really know what is expected of a Dom or a sub or slave.
They think it is just someone who ties up someone else and gets the right to just slap and abuse someone left and right.
They are the unsafe players....so anyone who is going to reply HERE and even on a BDSM site should always ask for references and be watchful of what sort of questions the Dom is asking.... cause a D will ask quite a few and safe words are established.
Then a contract is made(even just for a once of play session)and there is things the D will expect you to do, before any play happens.
Or I have to admit, I am very safety orientated so I expect my Subs(I myself will NOT play with slaves)to phone their safe contact person before play and after a play and when they leave. I also expect to have mails /phone calls on the first 2 days after play from them to know how they are.
So it is not just for tying up and hurting someone!!!!!
Abuse is totally with out consent and the intend is not playful or sexual at all.
The one partner is always scared of the abuser.
It is NOT an uplifting experience at all!!!!!!!
I have to say I have always wanted to be slave but scared to be abused but what you said about our body's being the give i like that and it gives me hope that someone is intended in taking me in
To anyone who is a critic.....
What is normal and who decided or decides what is normal??
And do we as a human and a person in our own right, not have the right to be who we want to be?? TO eat what we like and want. Not to conform to the person we are with to *please* such a person whom we dine with,as to be perceived *NORMAL* in that persons life???We really DO NOT have to explain why we eat what we eat or NOT eat.
If Everyone is the same,eat what everyone else eats. like what everyone else likes, do what everyone else does, we can just as well be robots and how boring we would all be.
Only the people who really has done their homework (to read as much as possible and to get to know the people behind their kinks/fetishes/ are the one`s who who will tell you guys, that every person who is (proud to be KINKY as I am) is MORE SANE if I may use that word, as the people walking around with a holier than holy face.
We are not the people who...
sexually abuse a family member or their kids
abuse animals
kill each other
Or abuse our kids or our spouses behind LOCKED doors!!! and then tell every body else how *pure and sane* we are.
We as humans do not and can not decide what is wrong and what is right for others, only the people involved will decide that.
And we as hell can not label anyone weird and NOT look at ourselves first.
I want to stress once again
There are People who is dangerous!!!!
Anyone who wants to play kinky games , should get references and take safety measures before entering any such situation.
STAMINA! You back! Missed You dude.
I tried being a sub once...didn't work. I'm not submissive type.I kept getting punished for not obeying and asking why lol- But then again if someone like 50 shades came along "take me Sir!"
You do need to realize that there are endless degrees of extreme-ism to this issue: from pinching and slapping during a heated encounter to having someone poop on your face for your sexual gratification! Whereas I am aware that the line between pleasure and pain is extremely thin (both 'centers' are located in close proximity within your brain), the more extreme expressions of this dynamic certainly (in my mind) manifest the classic symptoms of a maladjusted mind, which is quite common in our modern society! When we think or talk about this, we normally discuss or imagine the more extreme forms, as mentioned above, and naturally find them shocking if not disgusting. However, in practical terms, do me a favor, try this:
Next time you're shagging your latest SH pickup (haha), ask her to pinch your nipples while yer 'doin' her and report back whether you came harder or not!
the central scrutinizer
Thanks for your insightful take on the subject, yes, many people crave a 'role-reversal' in the bedroom, it removes the pressures of 'normal life' and allows them to 'relax and be themselves'. So, in general:
A born Dom in a Dom career craves the Sub role in the bedroom, a taste of the opposite
A born Dom in a Sub career craves the Dom role in the bedroom, a taste of how it should be
A born Sub in a Dom career craves the Sub role in the bedroom, a relief from the pressure
A born Sub in a Sub career craves the Dom role in the bedroom, a taste of the opposite, such is human nature.
Of course, having a couple of miserable offspring in the midst of this scenario immensely complicates the picture, hence the high rate of divorce and suicide in modern society.
the central scrutinizer
Way I understand it, Woman of my dreams, point you were making, is this: being a Dom does not give you carte-blanche in expressing your potential sadistic tendencies, rather, you have the responsibility of reading your sub's pleasure limits and creatively working within those boundaries. So, as you say, the Sub is actually driving the scenario and the Dom is merely a facilitator of their fantasies, have I got that right?
the director of recreational activities
PS, love your latest pics, super sexy asss!
Hi would like to experience the bdsm scene. Want to be a sub a little explore my boundaries a bit but am battling to find someone a dominatrix etc willing to teach me a few things but I can't seem to find anyone that's willing to educate a lesbian lady any takers from jhb
:lol: :lol:
