If I may offer some advice from a single male perspective on the swinging lifestyle for 6 years and counting. I have offered this advice to singles and couples who seem to find it useful :

- Everyone I know has been nervous and excited the first time, you are not alone. Enjoy this feeling.

- CONSENT IS ALWAYS KEY ( and this goes both ways so no one can force you to do anything you are not comfortable with) People won't bite unless you ask them to.

- don't be afraid, while not being reckless. At first, this seems like a contradiction so I will explain: as with life in general 99.9999% of the people you will meet are awesome, beautiful beings. Still, be cautious about that tiny number of "bad actors". Here are a few ideas for meeting someone for the first time: 1. Go somewhere public for your first meet ( coffee shops, swinger/fetish clubs, etc), that way if you see any red flags or get a bad feeling, you can safely walk away. 2. share with a trusted person the details of the meeting ( the who, where, when, and contact details) 3. if the person has been vouched/recommended by people then why not ask them about the person? 4. As your circle of friends grows, you probably find it easier to vet play partners.

- be authentic ( be yourself)

- be honest

- be open ( you will be surprised who may share the same interest/ fantasy as you)

- be polite ( good manners open many doors)

- be respectful

- I found it is best to go with no expectations, that way you always have a good time. I suspect it may be because it takes any pressure off everyone, so everyone relaxes and the orgasms can flow.

- Discussions will still happen. Don't be afraid to say what you want to try out, what you like, what you don't like, and safe words/signals. Some are long and detailed, while some are shorter (occasionally, a friend will grab my hand and give me a glance for an unspoken agreement and take me into a room..lol)

- Sexually transmitted diseases (STD's) and protection: Each one of us has to take personal responsibility... This can be in many forms including but not limited to wearing condoms, regular STD testing, etc.. I know this sounds intrusive but if perfectly valid to ask potential partners when they were last tested, the person might say no, or might willing to share that information and sometimes even the results. .. We all get to choose where our bits go .lol... so asking those relevant questions is important

- During a play, I find it good to regularly check in with your partner/s. This can be spoken or unspoken (like a glance or a nod .... you can always follow it up by kissing or nibbling on something... you get the idea, just have fun with it

- Aftercare may come in different forms depending on your partners ( some may prefer cuddles, some may like words of affirmation, some may need to rehydrate ( especially if there are torrents of squirting ;-) and some may want a warm blanket, lights off and you to quietly close the door on your way out. It truly depends on each person.

- remember your reputation proceeds you. You will be surprised at where it can take you.

- moderate alcohol consumption. if you need it to relax. If you are finding yourself "drinking for courage", perhaps it's best to reflect if you are comfortable, there is nothing wrong with changing your mind. Experienced swingers generally avoid women who are blind drunk - things can get complicated. As for owners of penises (a long-time bartender at a swingers club explained to me that) generally, too much whiskey or rum can inhibit getting and maintaining a strong erection. So some alcohol to relax for fun, but too much alcohol might just stop the fun

- be curious and remember to have lots of fun

This is not intended as a comprehensive guide to swinging as they are my personal view. The point above may sound familiar or obvious Still, I hope it helps.

I am still learning about the fetish/ kink lifestyle and can see some commonalities with swinging. I suspect it is a case of "treat people the way you wish to be treated"

There's much more to swinging, so I will have missed some points, please feel free to contribute to the discussion