Chapter 4 An Alternative lifestyle During long periods between relationships, before and after I got divorced I had no shortage of lovers. I suppose I could accurately say I have been a swinger for ten years. While married or at least towards the end of the marriage and thereafter in between numerous relationships. I have been divorced for many years and have had lots of time in solitude, alone or not dating. I have also used swinging as my excuse not to get involved in a relationship. Lack of commitment I suppose, but effective nevertheless. When a man is having fun its hard to change. I had given three serious relationships of more than a year a chance. I had failed in them because I did not want to commit to a monogamous relationship. That is the truth of it all. Rather back to an alternative life style. On this subject alone very little is known and while it is discussed on talk shows and radio, it would surprise many how prevalent it is in all the major cities of the world. As a divorced white male with the means and determination and a complete love for sex, I could sustain my sexual appetite quite easily. Swingers come from all walks of life, teachers, doctors ,lawyers and self-made adults. These are the couples and singles that frequent swinger clubs, or want to experiment with there own sexuality. Normally contact is made at a club or via an Internet swingers web sites and personal advertisements in adult magazines or web sites. Voyeurs, exhibitionists, nudists sexually active people attend adult parties. Whether at home or in the privacy of a members only club. When I first started swinging I was an exhibitionist and voyeur. Today, well let me tell some of the stories. There is another side to swinging, which happens away from the clubs and involves private house parties, threesomes and foursomes. Couples and singles getting together for full swinging, voyeurism and exhibitionism. Or just couples, taking their sexuality to another level to enjoy their own fantasies. Experimenting with male, female, male sex and female, male, female sexuality. There are a lot of happily married couples that enjoy another man or woman in their bed. Often it is the woman who are highly sexed and one man is just not enough to satisfy her. The rules of swinging per se, don’t exist, but there is a code of conduct amongst adult swingers. It is strange, to agree the rules of sex, before there is any actual contact. These rules normally revolved around, use of protection, female-to-female contact and male-to-male if any involvement. I always had a few simple rules, if I was uncomfortable at any stage I would leave. I am a straight male, so no male contact or bi couples were sought out. Meetings would be arranged if this was an Internet contact where one would meet the other couple. By this stage in most cases there would have been telephonic and email contact, pictures exchanged. So when one finally met, you had a damn good idea who was visiting. Most cases it was merely a formality as to go to a meeting they had already made up their mind to swing with you. Swingers are voyeurs and often with the male as the passive participant, whether it’s two females swinging or a couple and a male. Many of my own experiences revolved around a passive male. Richard as I describe in one story, was totally passive throughout. His wife a sexually aggressive and much younger woman. In most of the relationships I was drawn to this was a similar scenario I would say I was the sexually aggressive one in my marriage. In the club environment you often found one partner was more sexually aggressive. Not all partners are happy on their first visit to a swingers club. There is often the case where only one partner was attracted to another couple, while the other compromised or did not participate. Few woman will swing on their own, although I did meet some. Most of the clubs environment also made it strictly for couples and so the parties, always involved an equal number of men and woman. Being single and unable to attend any of the clubs big events, I sought out the individuals and couples, who wanted to remain discrete and would only swing with certain partners over a period of time. Sex is clearly better with practice. It takes time to learn a woman’s body, wants and desires. I attest to that. I met many fantastic couples and made a number of friendships with other open and like-minded adults. These are professional people from all walks of life and there identities remain a secret. Not all culminated in a sexual relationship, and mostly it was the woman’s decision, but many did. The next chapter will be devoted to my relationships with these women and there partners. My graphic description may offend some, but using my imagination and my memory , timing and sequence of events have been changed. Any similarity is therefore purely coincidental and I apologise for that.