Emphasis on Masculinity — a blight on the gay community

‘Masc 4 Masc’ stands for a self-identified masculine man looking for another masculine man. Found on dating profiles, it’s usually followed by a defensive cliché such as ‘not into femme, no offense, it’s just my type. Respect that.’

In this context, the masculinity they refer can mean anything from —

— someone who is predominately interested in fitness, sport, wood-cutting…you know, manly things?

— who can pass as a heterosexual person in public, and seen as ‘straight-acting’, because being ‘too gay’ is a bad thing?

— isn’t into traditionally ‘feminine’ things or gay culture such as drag queens, fashion, pop music…or anything relatively fun.

Let me be clear, I think it’s perfectly fine and acceptable that in this world of billions of people, you have a type. I think it’s perfectly fine to be looking for a set of characteristics from a potential partner.

But equating that as a gay man, other men are beneath you simply for being who they are crosses so many boundaries it’s ghastly. (Read this sentence again until you get it)

When I see ‘no femme’ taglines, it reinforces that archaic idea that being anything other than straight is mediocre and something to be ashamed of - Barry O’Rourke

My take…. Stop acting, we are not in a play to be acting, the “straight acting” term has created such internal hate that it is sickening to see. Different strokes for different folks. I am a proud non-binary fem person and I dont need anyone to make me feel anything less. To those who have to deal with the hate for being who you are meant to be, dont allow anybody to put a value on you, you are priceless…