Wednesday evening, after a quiz night I went on my first adventure, 9pm at night.. hitting the high way into the unknown. Woman alone in the dark, desperate to know what it actually feels like to be wanted, but wary and a fear of rejection... especially when it comes to my body...

I just call him SIR.. he invited me over.. A meet and greet and to see if he can release some of the tension and get behind the wall of insecurities.

Candle lit room and soft music awaited me... shocked and pleased because who the hell does this much effort on a first meet... but God what waited beyond those curtains awakened a part of me that wants to roar when the buttons gets pushed..

I am not much to look at, but learned for the first time that i do not have a preference physically, sex appeal comes from what someone awakens in you...after some chit chat I thought I would be heading home... he is nice but I don't think I am what he wants. I have been staring at his muscular hands, the veins raised in them turned me on and created enough of a distraction as I watch them move in animation as we spoke.

How they gripped a glass,

when he wiped it on his leg..

and I couldn't help but wonder what they would feel like on my skin.

What the texture of it... is it hot ?...smooth? Cool to the touch...

Would there be any sparks .... would ibreact to his touch if he should ever touch me....hands sweating..I rub my palms with my thumbs... and the fear rises.

What if he doesnt want to touch me...

Do I repel him?

My heart starts beating in anxiety..

Maybe I should leave.. my flight instincts take over.... I dont think I will be able to handle the rejection..

Suddenly he is standing in front of me. I dont remember hearing him move at all...

He slowly touches my face...

That slow transition of a thumb running over your lips and fingers gliding over your cheek to the nape of your neck as he uses that thumb to lift my jaw slowly... so I can look at him..

Eyes going over his tshirt until I meet his... biting his lip and lowering his face to mine as i am still sitting... he takes a deep breath while being cheek to cheek ... and in a voice speaking to that inner part of me ... the part that controls my desires ,wants and needs.

The part of me that has been lying dormant for years... sulking.... waiting for someone to awaken her..

He huskily says "God you smell nice" before slowly, excruciating tender, passionately and deeply start kissing me... I feel the heat of the cavern of my mouth, out breaths are warm... my skin is on fire as he breathes between kisses , making sure tobstare to thatvother part of me... like a dragon slowly breathing fire into the cold lumps of coal in my body.. bringing my blood to boil..

My eyes start drooping as his mouth moves to my ear, and neck.. I can't help but melt to his touch... of his hands driving the flow of desire... a puppet to a string....

His skin is supersoft, everything inside me is screaming for more..how can the feel of someone's skin create such havoc to my senses.

He opens my legs and stand between them taking my hands that was resting behind me... and pull it to his groin,  spreading my fingers to feel all of him...I gulp... he is hard under my fingers and also the first well endowed male i have ever met.

He kisses me harder, making me forget... i am getting lost in sensations... No one has ever been hard for me..the thought has my mind spiraling as he keeps kissing me and making sure my hand strokes him through his pants. That connection between my fingers, brain and pussy, is causing my thoughts to short circuit... losing the ability to speak and think... and to simply feel.

Pressing me back while kissing me more deeply... exploring my mouth as I hold onto his hips as I don't know where to put my hands.. with his mouth going down my ear and neck again ,his hands go under the pillow behind me...

As I look up at him... I found myself being collared...afraid for a moment as he ties it... softly ask me if it's to tight... I can only shake my head... scared but intrigued..heat already pooled between my thighs... this is new...

Crooking a finger in the collar.. I am made to look up at him...he bends down and tell me I can say no at any moment.. nothing is forced and asked if I wanted to continue... asked me if I knew what the collar meant and am I prepared to give control over and told not to think but open up and just feel..

I have never seen myself as submissive.. EVER... but found myself nodding... I want to know what this entails... slowly while sitting collared... his hands start exploring my breasts... no one has ever touched them. Bringing his mouth down and taking one of my nipples into his mouth.. had my eyes rolling... pure sensations...hot breath leaves my mouth but no sound... I am not me anymore... his mouth is burning into my skin and into my soul...his hands on mine.

He pushes his pants off...

It was the first erect, large dick I have ever come across.. hooking his thumb in the corner of my mouth... he opens it and tells me to take it into my mouth as he pushes it between my lips...

My mouth has been watering from the taste of him and that other part of me starts taking over..the insatiable part of me...as I start to suck and lick to my heart's content.... fingers literally running over his hips,balls and to his buttocks... he guides and shows what he likes... never negative feedback..

Suddenly he tells me to bite his dick..

I am shocked ....

He tells me its okay i should just do it, and continue blowing him, there is just something about the taste of him...his moaning... received like positive reinforcement... I could go on for hours...

using his thumb in my mouth to release my sucking. My eyes are glazed over as he whispers "Good girl".

Pulling me up by the collar.. he tells me to undress and stand in the corner... i have never been naked infront anyone else except my ex....and he disappears into the bedroom... reappearing a afew minutes later with a chain..

I could feel my pussy clench at that moment ... not of fear... but anticipation... gently running the cold chain over my erect nipples...i close my eyes and suck in my breath... no idea why my body is responding that much...I can literally feel my folds wetness as I move...afraid that I might drip or it might run down my thigh..

When entering his bedroom... towels ect is prepared...I was made to sit at the foot of the bed waiting for his instructions..