Let it flow, let it flow, don't hold it back anymore

Ok ok, I apologize for the earworm. But, quite frankly, that line really is the main piece of advice on how to squirt. The other one being towels. Layers and layers of towels. Because once you let it flow, there will be a surprisingly large amount of liquid.

But let me start at the beginning and with a disclaimer. I am neither a gynecologist nor an expert on the science of female ejaculation or squirting. I only discovered recently that these are even considered two different things by some. And in general, there are so many discussions and questions about squirting... A few being:

1. Is it fake? No

2. Is it just urine? Certainly not

3. Can only a small handful of us actually do it? I don't think so - hence this guide. (Any female, young, middle aged or older can learn to squirt.)

4. If it's not urine, where does the liquid come from? No idea, and neither do the experts know...

What I do know is that it feels great when I do it and that it adds another layer to my orgasms, my sexual relieve and my satisfaction. I think more people need to know how to do it or how to get their partner to do it. So I've decided to write this guide (or maybe it's more of a field report...) to spread the wisdom.

First up, a few questions to my fellow vagina-owners that are interested in learning how to squirt:

1. Do you ever feel the need to pee when you are aroused? Does your urethra start to tingle when you are approaching orgasm?

2. But then, when you go to the bathroom directly after sex, not that much urine is actually coming out?

3. And do you sometimes still feel aroused, even after several orgasms? Not quite getting that complete satisfaction?

If you've answered yes to those questions: Congratulations! Chances are you are already quite close to squirting.

I recently read that females who have twin dimples on their lower back, one above each butt, are more prone to squirting.

I think one of the reasons why so few of us never realize that we might be able to squirt is because the feeling just before squirting feels very similar to the need to pee. And that is not something we usually want to do during sex. Yes, I know some of you out there would actually welcome that. But that's a different subject matter and I am sure there are various guides on this already. So for the moment I want to focus on those of us who want to contain ourselves to squirting.

Back to the subject: So sometimes, when we get aroused, our urethra starts to tingle. And because most of us are never taught that squirting is even possible and how it works and feels, we tend to suppress that feeling, holding back whatever liquid might come out. Imagine what it would feel like for a teenage boy who does not know that his orgasm involves some liquid being ejected. He will probably think something broke in his penis after his first ejaculation.

Similar for us: accidental squirting might easily be mistaken for accidental peeing. But this is not something we usually like to talk about. So we never learn that it could be part of the process and actively try to avoid it. But now you know. And the next time you feel that tingle, instead of clamping down, just push into it and at the right moment: relax, open up your urethra and let it flow.

Here is the technique that got me liquid results within a few tries:

Get yourself comfortable (yes, I know, what a surprising suggestion...). But actually, no, before you lie down, go to the bathroom and empty your bladder. Just to ease your mind.

Then grab a towel and put it on the bed. Actually, grab several towels. Fold them up multiple times. Add a large one underneath just to be safe. I've leaked through about eight layers of towel on occasion. So be prepared for a lot of liquid. And yes, you might think that it will not happen on your first try anyway, but it might. And who will have to wash those sheets then...?

So now, that you are prepared, with an empty bladder and a wad of towels, get comfortable, for example lying on your back, with those towels underneath your butt.

Now do whatever you usually do to arouse yourself. I have never been able to squirt from vibrators, maybe because they make me orgasm too quickly? Yes, I am a bit impatient, why do you ask...? There are g-spot massagers - vibrators or dildos - out there that might work for you. For squirting, I usually prefer my hands only, but try out whatever feels good for you.

For me, massaging my outer and inner lips, the whole area, then playing with my clit a bit works well. Once I am sufficiently wet, I push some fingers into my vagina. You could start with one, if that feels the most comfortable. Add a second, if you feel like it. Now turn those fingers towards your belly. Chances are, they are already in this position anyway. It is the one that feels the most natural and allows you to massage your clit with the palm of your hand as well. Maybe some of you out there with longer arms that are more flexible than me manage some different positions, but I usually just grab myself and then feel around on the inside for that rough spongy area that is situated just after the entrance on the upper wall of my vagina.

Yes, that is the fabled g-spot. I believe it might be situated in slightly different positions for different vaginas, for some being deeper inside, but in general it should be reachable with your fingers. It does feel noticeable rougher than the rest of the usually smooth vagina wall. And it will get even rougher as you get more turned on. I can feel actual ridges and folds on mine once I am really aroused.

As I mentioned, that area is usually called g-spot. What it also is, is the other side of the clitoris. The little nub that is visible from the outside is just the tip of the clitoral iceberg. The whole organ is much larger and sort of wraps its wings around the vagina. Go and google it, it is fascinating. It can be stimulated from the outside as well as from the inside and that is exactly what we need for squirting.

Now back to the exercise. Keep massaging your g-spot with one or two fingers, add some pressure on your clit from the outside, for example with the palm of your hand or your thumb. Start to put more pressure on your g-spot. Don't stab your fingers in and out of your vagina (fingering should never really be a stabbing action - at least not for me), but curl them up and move them in circles along that g-spot area that by now might feel really rough.

Can you feel your urethra starting to prickle and tingle yet? As I said before, the feeling is similar to having to pee. But trust me - you don't have to. Keep going, don't try to push out liquid just yet. Keep massaging, squeeze your vagina wall and clit between your fingers and your palm. Get yourself ever closer to that orgasm. Then, right when you're about to come, stop trying to hold back, relax your muscles and push into that tingling feeling.

Chances are, you will just have squirted for the first time. The liquid that comes out is not urine. It is clear, warm, is ejected quite forcefully and mine tastes a little metallic and salty. And definitely not urine-y at all. I have managed to squirt several times in a row, usually producing more liquid the more aroused I get and the more intense the orgasms are. So keep going after that first try, if you feel like it.

How do orgasms feel with squirting compared to without? They are certainly a bit different. I think I am able to come more intensely without squirting, maybe because I am holding back and don't let go of that arousal entirely? So part of my arousal stays with me during the whole orgasm and even afterwards. When squirting, the sensations are different, and the orgasm and satisfaction afterwards feel more complete.

I have also managed to squirt without really having an orgasm. Usually when I get too impatient (yes, really...) and try to push into the feeling too quickly. While it still feels nice, my arousal is then usually gone without a climax. So I sometimes give myself a couple of quick orgasms before attempting to squirt, just to get it out of the way. This helps build my arousal and makes me more willing to wait for the exact right moment.

Now, as I said, it took me a few tries (maybe two or three, I don't remember exactly) to get to squirting after I read about this technique on the internet for the first time. It might take longer for you, or you might succeed on your first try. But even if it takes a while, just remember: the process of getting there includes many orgasms, so it could be worse...

And always remember the towels...

So you want to make your partner squirt:

What a noble quest! I am sure, you and your partner will have a lot of fun trying this out. So what do you need to do?

First up: read the section above. It is important to know what you are looking for and what it feels like for your partner. Maybe get them to read the article as well? Or at least talk to them about it. Chances are they might know the feeling already, but not realize what it is. And without knowing that this is the beginning of squirting, they might always fight that tingling back instead of encouraging it.

Then the techniques are similar. Get them comfortable, get them aroused. Once they are getting wet, start massaging their g-spot with as many fingers as feel good to them. Don't overdo it on the number of fingers, though. One or two might be much more effective and give you more flexibility and room to circle and push that g-spot. Pay attention to their reactions, ask them what feels good, don't be impatient (not like me...) - it might take some time.

For the stimulation of the clit from the outside you have two main options. You can use your hands as described above, putting some pressure on the clit with your palm, your thumb or with the fingers of your other hands.

Or you can lick the clit while you finger your partner. That would be my preferred option. But beware: This will put you in direct line of the squirting. If you are brave enough, it will certainly be an event for the two of you to remember!

And once more: Please, please, remember the towels!