What is pegging?

Pegging, or reverse-anal sex is a heterosexual sex act in which the female partner anally penetrates her male partner with a strap on dildo, thereby giving men and women perspective of what it feels like to be on the “other side” of intercourse.

Introduction

We are all born with a set of genitals, which causes us to be identified as either one gender or the other. If you have a penis then you are classified as male, and if you have a vagina then you are classified as female. However, being a man or woman is infinitely more complicated than that, and our definition of gender in an increasingly modern society is far too simplistic, more especially since people are becoming accepting of gender fluidity, and couples becoming open to sexual experimentation.

Traditional societal constructs have long dictated that males are not allowed to be right brained, loving, nurturing individuals because that would make them less manly, and females are not allowed to be strong, assertive, dominant intellectual, left brained persons because that would make them less womanly. Such thinking is an absolute abomination because society teaches us to ignore all qualities not reinforced by our genitals, and neglects a huge part of who really we are as wholesome human beings. It is therefore imperative that we are all become mentally healthy and well balanced humans.

Within each and every one of us there are two sides - the female side and the male side. A combination of different feminine and masculine parts to make you the person that you are. A gender balance which is perfectly normal.

For heterosexual couples, pegging is a powerful, eye opening and one of the most sexually emotional experiences to try. For some pleasure can be found in the reversing of the sexual roles as power dynamics definitely play a role in the joy found, while for others, especially the male partner, pleasure can be found in anatomical stimulation and for still others, sharing in something socially taboo and seemingly downright naughty can be both pleasurable and exciting. Whatever joy and pleasure it provides, pegging is ultimately a way to become deeply intimate with your partner.

My own findings reveal that anal activities have become increasingly popular  both in porn and in people’s sex lives, too. Pornhub search trends reveal that queries for anal sex have increased by more than 100% in the last decade. At the same time, surveys reveal that there has been a sizeable increase in the number of men and women who have tried anal sex at least once, when compared to the data obtained in  the 90's. Available statistics on the sales of strap-ons, prostate and the total number of articles on the internet also show a growing interest, not just in anal sex, but also in pegging.

This growing popularity of pegging is revealing of a major change in the way we think about men and masculinity. Strictly gendered sexual roles and behaviors are definitely decreasing, and the rise of pegging is just one sign of this.

There are many factors that can help to explain the appeal of pegging. A large part of it has to do with the potential for powerful orgasms in men resulting from prostate stimulation. A desire by men to be pleasured through prostate stimulation is fast becoming extremely popular, even though most men prefer not to discuss this desire openly. Another factor influencing it's popularity is that pegging often encompasses dominance-submission play, something that many people find arousing in and of itself.

Surprisingly, surveys reveal that pegging is something that both men and women find to be a turn-on, and a reflection of their sexual fantasies. However, sexuality experts feel that the increasing fascination with pegging reveals something much deeper - a seismic shift in societal views on sex and gender. A shift with the potential to help everyone improve their sex lives.

In a study conducted by Justin Lehmiller involving 4000 participants, the vast majority of whom identified as heterosexual, it was found that that nearly 60 percent of the men surveyed had fantasized about receiving anal sex, while approximately 40 percent of the women had fantasized about giving it. This illustrates that anal eroticism, often stereotyped as a desire of gay men, is really quite popular among straight men and women too, despite the social taboo attached to it.

The Coolidge Effect refers to our tendency to grow bored with sexual routines and to be titillated by sexual novelty and variety. People therefore have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of with regard to their sexual habits and preferences, save for habits and preferences which are abusive and non-consensual.

Pegging offers both physical and psychological sexual gratification to both partners in a heterosexual relationship. For men, anal penetration offers stimulation of the prostate gland, which has been linked to particularly intense orgasms. For women, pegging allows her masculine energy to be redirected outside the body and allows her to penetrate her partner rather than have her partner penetrate her.

By putting women in the dominant sexual role and men in the submissive sexual role, pegging overturns the traditional heterosexual power dynamic, thereby offering a convenient way for people to break free of gendered scripts for how sex is supposed to be and allows men and women to act on their dominant-submissive instincts instead of societal constructs.

Pegging is also capable of fulfilling a wide range of sexual needs and desires all at once because, being a novelty, it is not a part of the sexual repertoir of most straight people, and trying new things sexually can be a real turn-on. Pegging is also generally regarded as a sexual taboo and for a long time we have been told by religious and moral authorities that anal sex and other non-procreative acts like masturbation and oral sex are no-no's. When we are told that we cannot do something however, often makes us want to do it even more because whenever we perceive a threat to our freedom, it is common to rebel and do the opposite of what we are told not to do. This is a the reason why pegging and other taboo sex acts form the basis of sexual fantasies, and prompts us to engage in them.

The appeal of pegging goes far beyond a desire for P-spot orgasms. The popularity of pegging fantasies reside more in the fact that this activity takes multiple sexual desires, such as novelty, breaking taboos and dominance/submission and wraps them all up in one. The decoupling of anal sex and homosexuality also means that men are no longer afraid of being labeled as being gay which is in itself a sign of a broader change in the way we think about men and masculinity. It should therefore not at all be surprising that pegging has emerged as a popular theme in porn and pop culture.

Surveys conducted amonst heterosexual participants in the United States and United Kingdom reveal the following about pegging:

• 16.7% of sexually-active American adults have tried pegging.

• 10% of women said they would like to try pegging.

• In the UK, sales of strap-on dildos to heterosexual persons were up by nearly 200% on the previous year.

• 53.3% of men have fantasized about being dominated sexually.

• Curiosity was the most common reason given by male participants for either having tried or wanting to try pegging, while having a sense of control and power was the most common reason given by female participants for eitherwanting to try or having tried pegging.

Pegging is a way for both women and men to experience a sense of control and power, as well as explore and expand the boundaries of their sexualities. Further, by changing the roles of penetrator and receiver, men may well learn how to better pleasure their lovers and appreciate the need to take things slow or to have longer foreplay sessions.

Benefits of pegging

• Pegging helps some people to discover and accept their sexual self-identification. For example, one participant in a study claimed to have become bisexual after a pegging experience with his girlfriend, in which the anal eroticism awakened his interest in exploring a sexual experience with a man.

• Men benefit from stimulation of the prostate gland, which among other things, helps in preventing and treating of the enlargement and inflamation of the prostate, helps with difficulty in urinating and difficulty in getting or keeping an erection.

• Men also find switching and subverting gender roles, playing with power and the novelty of a woman wearing a penis deeply erotic and stimulating.

• Orgasms produced by stimulation of the prostate gland during pegging can be intensely more pleasurable than penis orgasms for men due to the sensitive nerves located in the prostate gland.  It is also possible for men to experience intense orgasms through stimulation of the prostate gland without stimulating the penis at all.

• Since pegging helps reach the nerve-dense prostate, increasing sensitivity which results in a unique pleasure such as may not have been experienced earlier, it can result in the connection between partners increasing.

• Woman can experience stimulation with the right dildo and harness. For example, there are dildos that can vibrate against the clitoris, and there also dildos that can stimulate the clitoris by rubbing against it. It is also possible to wear a vibrator with a strap-on too.

• Women also benefit from actually be inside a man and find a thrill in navigating the pleasure on doing so.

Introducing pegging into your relationship

Before you bring up the subject with your partner, remember that pegging is a sensitive subject. It is also important to know men may feel guilt and shame about their desire to be penetrated because of heterosexual norms existing in society and culture, resulting men who find that they actually enjoy anal play. Sexual pleasure is usually fundamental to a healthy relationship you want to be sure that you both have the same expectations of your relationship. fearing that this is an indicator that they are gay or bi. This is however not true since studies have shown that pegging and sexual orientation or identity are not closely linked, and that enjoying being penetrated simply means that one enjoys being penetrated and has nothing to do with sexual identity or orientation.

If you are curious about pegging but not sure how to bring it up with your partner, begin by understanding that because sexual pleasure is fundamental to a healthy relationship, you want to be sure that both you and your partner have the same expectations of your relationship. When it comes to all sexual matters, being able to openly and honestly discuss your wants and needs with your partner is critical.

It helps if you approach the topic wisely - for example you could say you learned about it from an article or from a friend. Also let your partner understand why you wish to explore it and ask for his/her opinion about it. Make certain that you validate your partner’s opinions and feelings. If necessary, You could also tell your partner that you are getting mixed messages about what he/she likes sexually and that you would like to know what his/her real preferences are.

Always make every effort to keep the conversation kind and informational and prevent it from becoming confrontational. Remember that expanding yours and your partner's sexual repertoire is one thing, but engaging in any sexual activity either of you do not enjoy is quite another. Being forced or cajoled into any activity, sexual or otherwise, including pegging, is not a pathway to pleasure, but destructive to a relationship and corrosive to self-respect.

For both partners opening up about their sexual needs and experimenting with sexual pleasure together can bring them much closer together, and also result in more fulfilling and intimate sex with better and greater orgasms.

It is normal to feel uncomfortable talking to your partner about trying something new, especially when society considers it taboo. However, when you are in a relationship where you are able to open up and accept one another unconditionally, the intimacy increases and the relationship deepens. If you are worried about hurting your partner, talk to them about it. Communicating while pegging is also important.

When you are ready to try pegging

When it comes to pegging, porn and media depictions are purely for entertainment and should never be used as a guide.While pegging might look easy in a porn movie or video clip, there are lots of things that you will not see, such warming up and using lubricant etc.

Pegging is a process that might not work the first few times you try it and requires patience, communication, and compassion. Some people, despite being interested in pegging, are worried that it might be painful. When done right however, pegging is generally a pain-free experience when a man to learns to relax his body and accept penetration, since a tense body can make penetration incredibly uncomfortable or painful.  Complete relaxation
can only be achieved through familiarity, trust, breathing and gentle caressing by the woman. Further, many women do not feel very comfortable when using a thrusting motion at first to penetrate their partners as this is different from the hip swivel that many women do when they feel sexy.  The key to enjoying a pegging experience is for both partners to learn to synch with each other and that takes practice, and as they say, practice makes perfect.

Precautions

The anal canal is made up of delicate tissues which are susceptible to developing microtears with any type of penetration into the anus. These microtears can cause HIV, chlamydia, herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea and other STIs to be contracted through anal sex in much the same way as vaginal and even oral sex. 

Anal sex is considered to be a higher-risk activity than vaginal or oral sex because the lining of the rectum is delicate and more easily torn than the lining of the vagina or mouth, which can result in such tears becoming an entry point for bacteria and viruses, which can cause STIs.

Men who have unprotected anal intercourse also have a higher incidence of urinary tract infections because the bacteria from the anus gets into the urethra of the penis.

Microtears are avoidable if proper care is taken during pegging.

Tips for a successful pegging experience

• Pegging is not something that will necessarily happen spontaneously, so communicate about both of your expectations, needs, and wants before you get started. Also remember to pick a safe word to stop play. During the act of pegging, the man should let his partner know that he is still finding the act enjoyable and wants to continue by either using non-verbal moans or verbal words.

• Go shopping for a toy and harness together as this can increase intimacy, connection, and trust within the relationship. elect the correct shape and size of sex toy and harness. The woman needs to pick out a harness that feels secure to her body, together you both can pick out the dildo, or dildos. Sex shops usually stock a wide variety of dildos. Silicone dildos are easy to clean and soft enough not to  damage anal tissues, whereas dildos made of metal, glass, or lucite are completely hard and not very safe in a harness because of the risk of a mis-stroke that could be very painful. There are also dildos made of elastomer which are also soft, but materials tend to be porous. It is best to use a condom with this type of dildo. Since you will not know which dildo is going to be the most pleasurable, if you can afford it, it may be wise to get different shapes and sizes, but start small.

• The man must ensure that he empties his  bowels and wash his anus before play commences. It can also be a good idea to start the session in the shower since a steamy shower can also be a fun way to get the blood flowing because the hot water can help relax the tension in the muscles, aiding in making pegging more comfortable.

• Engage in foreplay to relax each other’s body and get into the mood, you can even rim your partner then warm him up by inserting a finger, then two or three into his anus to ease him into play. It is also important to start slowly because some discomfort can be expected, especially if the man has never been anally explored before. Next try out using different toy shapes and sizes  starting with the smallest to explore your partner’s body and the sensations that are experienced by both of you. When you are both ready, attach the dildo that felt most comfortable for the man onto the harness.

• When it comes to any form of anal sex, lube is essential and necessary because  unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce natural lubricant. It is therefore necessary to use a lubricant in order to prevent tearing of the tissues in the anus, and to increase pleasure. Do not be afraid to use lots of lubricant because wetter is always better. Re-apply lubricant as often as you can because pegging is different from typical anal sex since there is no way to know when the lubricant has worn off as the dildo is not attached to the woman’s body, but a separate entity. Be sure to use water-based lubricant with a silicon toy as silicon or oil based lubricant will ruin a silicone toy. Also remember that water and saliva are NOT lubricants.

• Pegging may feel different or strange at first because this type of role reversal is unfamiliar. It is completely normal and  totally to feel a little strange because both of you are trying something new. It is also possible that pegging may feel completely natural at first try.  However pegging makes you feel, is unique to both of you as individuals and to your relationship.

• Try different positions to explore your partner’s pleasure. Every person is different so some positions may be more enjoyable than others. Always bear in mind that pegging positions are different from regular heterosexual sex positions because of the location of the anus, which make some regular sex positions like missionary tricky and difficult.  Missionary can however still be achieved if the man lays on his back with his legs up in the air. A great position to start pegging with is the man on top of the woman because the man can be in control of the depth of the phallus penetrating his anus. This position, however will not be ideal if the weight of the man is too much for the woman to handle. Another good position to try is doggy style because the anus will be easily accessible and both the man and woman can be in control. The man can keep his legs as close together or far apart as he is comfortable with and the woman can either be on her knees, squatting position, or standing up. Having his legs closer together will allow a more shallow penetration, while having his legs further apart will allow a deeper penetration. The woman should always check in with her partner before penetrating him deeply.

• Always take time to caress and cuddle with your partner afterward since power exchange and role reversal can get both  intense and exhausting for both partners. Caressing and cuddling encourages the release of a powerful neurotransmitter, oxytocin, which will make the both of you feel more connected and can be an amazing way to build intimacy and recuperate afterwards.

• Any type of anal play can get messy so if you decide to peg in bed, lay a towel down to lessen any mess. If, however, you decide to try pegging in the shower, make certain that you still use lubricant because water is not a lubricant. Instead, use a silicone lubricant in the shower, since it works better with water. It is perfectly normal, and not uncommon to feel the urge to use the bathroom soon after anal play.

Conclusion

Even though pegging is becomming more popular, many will likely avoid it because of their existing stigmas or fears. While both men and women can enjoy pegging, it should be approached with care to avoid any injuries and STI's.